Content warning: This chapter touches upon the topics of sexual abuse/r*pe and suicide. The first is not explicitly mentioned, the second is. If these topics upset you, I have marked the section where they appear. The section is entirely skippable. If these topics are of concern for you, whether they concern you personally or concern somebody in your environment or you bear witness to somebody whom it concerns, please reach out. The relevant authorities WILL help and competent support must surely be available somewhere easily reachable, wherever you are. Again, if you are in contact with these topics or they are of concerned to you in any way, please reach out.

Disclaimer: I do not condone nor support any form of sexual abuse. This is a work of fiction and should be treated as such.

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DANIEL: (I followed them. The bitch went to megabuilding H11 floor 83. I couldn’t follow them further, all other lifts were out. Said she lived there.)

RAHUL: (Alright. Works for now. Hanna, can you check for cameras? Maybe go through the rent contracts, see where they live.)

HANNA: (Alright...)

RAHUL: (It’s going to be fine, Hanna. We’ll find out what happened to your choom and why she didn’t want to talk. We’ll get her back, alright?)

HANNA: (Yeah. I’ll get netrunning. Ping me if you need me.)

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It was raining. Heavily. Proper downfalls didn’t happen very often, but when they did they usually overloaded the sewage system. Depending on if the storm lasted longer then a week it would carry away the pushed up sludge on its own, but short downpours left the sewage lying in the streets. Night City would develop an indescribable smell if that happened. Lisa listened to the rain pelting the living room window while contently munching on her sandwich. Day 6 of ignoring... [Now, now. Doctors orders were to at least not push the problem away. Day 1 of testing?] She took another bite from her breakfast and chewed with intensity. Day 6 after hell. [That works I guess.] With a thought she checked on her brain’s statistics. That ghostly touch once again nibbled on the deepest parts of her head. |64 : 31 : 5 , 0.25| Plus two for team Lisa. Not that she knew how accurate these measurements where. For all she knew the two points she took from Conny were just regular fluctuations.

They couldn’t really sit in their spot on the balcony with the buckets of water falling from the sky, so instead they snuggled into the couch. Lisa sighed in content when she relaxed the back of her head on her moms chest. Her boobs made good neck support. “So, kitten, what do you want to do today? Some more yoga?” Lisa gave a small pout at the nickname. “Maybe later...”, [Hey wanna build some deamons? I’ve been working on code for picture generation, but it doesn’t work since coding just works differently from what I know. And I need to reinvent some libraries.], “Oh that sounds interesting. I want in! Let’s make some deamons.” Barbara was enthusiastic about the idea. Lisa sighed and tilted her head forward so that her mom could get her jack. “Sure, get my cable so I can share Conny’s coding adventures.” Her mom plucked Lisa’s jack from her neck with a humm and put it in behind her right ear. “Alright, show me what you got!” Lisa let her neck fall back again.

A few hours later they had a general idea of what Conny planned to do. He wanted to make a neural network that could generate images from prompts. There were algorithms and methods already that could do better, but those were a bit too large and resource intensive to pack into a deamon. The first step was to train up image recognition and the end goal was to have a deamon that could alter visuals in real time. And since there were already better ways to generate images, training the neural net would be ridiculously easy. Once they got to that stage. Unfortunately, building the necessary infrastructure would take some effort. Enough effort that one rainy day spent coding wasn’t enough. But the rain wouldn’t let up any time soon.

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Day 11 after hell and day 6 spent coding. The rain hadn’t let up. In fact, it was getting stronger. California wasn’t known for its hurricanes. The pacific usually ferried the tropical storms further west, towards asia, but every blue moon one of them would make it to the west coast. Hurricane Rosemary was a category 2 tropical storm. Not something that would wreck well built buildings, but not something you would want to take a stroll in either. A few of the houses in Rancho Coronado would need new roofs and some greenhouses in Biotechnica Flats would be wrecked and a bunch of basements would be flooded, probably destroying some servers, but the high-rises and most of the city would be just fine. Most of the taller buildings were built to withstand the regular earthquakes. The earthquake countermeasures weren’t ideal for withstanding hurricanes, but they would weather the storm. It had gotten quite boring. Sure, her mom would get Lisa to do some yoga or something similar now and then, but the constant ruckus from outside coupled with enduring Conrads flippant ramblings was grating on Lisa’s nerves. At least by now they had managed to build a deamon that worked. They had scrounged some parts of code from some hobbyist coding platform they had found on the Night City net to reduce the work they had to do and now they were actually able develop some deamons.

[Wanna know why this was the first deamon I wanted to write?] Conny was giddy. Somehow, Lisa was getting a bad feeling. A sort of premonition that whatever reason he had would be vexing to no end. Although that was a reasonable expectation to have of an insane alter ego. “Alright, I’ll bite, tell us Conny.”, her mom wore an amused expression. Instead of answering, Conny sent her mom a file without Lisa being able to see what he was doing. Shortly after her mom started chuckling in glee. She hugged Lisa closer and buried her smile in Lisa’s hair. “Oh this is soooo cute! We should have done this earlier!”, [I know, right? I’ve had this idea since we talked about bioware!] The pit in Lisas stomach hit rock bottom and she resigned herself to fate. “Alright, what’s so funny...”, she sighed. Conny showed her the file. ‘Animal ears are justice 1.0’? What kind of naming is this... [Com’on! Boot it up and look at mom!] With a groan Lisa untangled herself from her mom’s hug, retracting her cable, and started the file. Turning around to face Barbara, Lisa was stunned for a moment. What the heck? Are those... ears? Like from a panther? Her mom was grinning from ear to ear, sporting a pair of fluffy large cat ears the same black colour as her hair. They didn’t quite sit symmetrically, and they definitely didn’t look real. They didn’t blend into her hair correctly, the lighting was wrong and they lagged behind whenever Lisa moved her head a little. [That’s right! The file gives every face some animal ears! You won’t have to chip bioware now!] That... huh. It was both worse than she could have imagined in her worst nightmare and simultaneously not that bad for a surprise from a crazy person. It would take the teasing to another level though. At least she wouldn’t be the only one getting animal ears. “I knew some cat ears would make you really cute.” Her mom grinned. Lisa blushed a little, but frowned shortly after. “They look really shitty though... Might as well make ‘em better...”, Lisa mumbled. Her mom opened her arms invitingly and Lisa jumped back into her hug with a sigh.

They took a break when it was time for lunch. They had developed ‘Animal ears are justice’ far enough that they were approaching the size limit for a usable deamon. They needed to cut back on its functions and do some streamlining, so they had decided to ditch the facial recognition part and replace it with something else. “We need a simpler marking instead of looking for faces, something that’s easy to recognise for the code.” Lisa dipped her sushi in some soy sauce. They were lucky Bob’s foods downstairs was still doing business despite the storm. The ease with which Lisa could manipulate the chopsticks with her silver fingers was like night and day compared to before Vic’s reinstall. Barbara eyes softened at Lisa’s natural movements. Her angel didn’t even give the manoeuvring of the sushi a second thought. Barbara thought out loud while chewing. “Maybe some sort of facial paint? But that would look weird... Some specific jewellery? That wouldn’t be visible from certain angles, so the ears wouldn’t show...”, [Maybe have, like, a holographic halo? Dimmed so its not actually visible but still registers? We could also code directional information into it and it would be visible from all sides.] Lisa swallowed. “That’s a very specific idea. But maybe...?”, “Where would you place the emitter though?”, Barbara interjected. “You’d have to place it in the collar of your jacket or something for all around coverage. Or go for a choker or headband. And then you’d need power from somewhere...” They spent a few moments just enjoying their sushi, mulling over the engineering problem.

[Well, we can think about that when we know how to actually work with holo-emitters. There’s that electronics store that the Maelstrom hit two weeks back, maybe they have a sale or something going on?], “Mh, I think a clothing store might have something we could missuse...”, Barbara said. “Still, browsing that electronics store might be fun.” She looked at Lisa. “And we could both go for some new threads.” Lisa sighed and took another piece of sushi. “Mom, the sea is rising to reclaim the land at the moment, I don’t think we should go anywhere today. That’s the whole reason we’re stuck doing the project of my mental disorder.”, Lisa said, gesturing towards the window in the living room. They had put down the blinds in fear the rain and winds might shatter the glass. Lisa even feared the blinds would bend and be stuck afterward. Barbara paused at the slight annoyance in Lisas voice. “Riiight. That is a problem.”, her mom drawled. They spent some time listening to the rain raging against their apartment. Barbara threw a careful glance towards her little angel. Lisa had become more subdued over the last few days and her comments had more bite then usual, similar to when her chrome arm had given her trouble. The evening at Lizzy’s really had been the high point for her. “So, just do nothing the rest of the day? Take a break?”, her mom offered. Lisa picked up some more sushi. “Yeah...”

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Content warning. This section is skippable.

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After taking a short nap, they lounged once again on the couch. Contrary to popular belief, the intensity of the rain did matter to determine if it is conducive towards sleep or not and biblical levels of rain were decidedly too much. [Soooo, can’t really do more with the image deamon without some holo-emitters, to comfy to do some yoga, the world is ending outside... A good a time as any to start addressing the gold elephant in the room?] Lisa frowned. This is why she hated Conny. He inserted and asserted himself whenever he wanted. Barbara sighed and hugged Lisa tighter. “You know, you’re just as eloquent as an elephant, Conny. It’s breaktime.”, Lisa stated. [Well, I’m just sayin’. I did make that yoga routine that we never tried. There must be some other way to take advantage of the thing, it should be at least as powerful as it is invasive and you already got me as the side effects.] Lisa clenched her jaws. It seemed like Conny wouldn’t let her rest. “Oh great, yeah, no way to get more voices in my head commenting on everything I do.”, she spat sarcastically. If Conny caught the sarcasm and the bite in her tone, he ignored it and continued with his usual enthusiastic-9-year-old voice. [Well I mean, more voices could be fun? Even more company! But seriously, the chip was meant to speed train soldiers, there should be a way to do more then just dodge bullets and win at rock paper scissors.] Lisa took a deep breath to calm herself. Conrad was never easy to deal with, especially if you couldn’t placate or distract him. He always just said what he wanted to say and she didn’t have a way to shut him up. “You mean; meant to puppeteer soldiers on missions with AI and have them forget any atrocities they commit.” Barbara shifted a bit uncomfortably. “Lisa, it’s fine, we can just...”, [There’s that too, but really, that’s just crude. I mean that’s literally ripping the steering wheel from someone! No, maybe you could just... offer the behaviours instead? Make knowledge available so you could use it whenever you want?] Calming her breathing wasn’t working. Usually, Lisa would try to ignore her mental disorder, but spending six days in close concord with it, without any way to find respite, was grating. He would even comment on how pissing was now weird for the former man. “And what do I learn with that? How to do the perfect fucking blowjob while remembering all of it?”, Lisa hissed. Her voice bit through the room, her jaw set and eyes locked in a deep frown.

[Heh, I mean, if you want? Who knows what might happen in the future, might be...] That was enough. She cracked. “Shut the FUCK up Conny!” Lisa sat up on her mom’s lap, dragging her hug along with her. Barbara was distressed. How could she diffuse this? Conrad was being decidedly confrontational. What could she do to calm them down? It’s not like she could realistically chastise Conrad, he was a part of Lisa. What difference would, could her intervention make? [Lisa, you’re going to have to start talking about it eventually, might as well...], “NO!” Lisa was done with his shit. “Since when do you decide what I should be doing! Why should you get a say in anything I do?!” She was panting as she stared into the room, unfocused. “I’ve been taking your shit, staring at nothing but code for six days! When are you going to have enough?!”, [But that was the boring part! It’s finally in a working condition!], “Working condition for a fucking joke at my expense!”, [That was just a proof of concept! Cobbled together in a minute!] Lisa was tearing up and her voice started shaking. “Then why can’t you just let me rest for five fucking minutes?! Just stay quiet and let me have some peace!” Barbara tried to interject. “Conrad, Lisa, calm down, please, we...”, [But its sooo booring!] Lisa’s face distorted in crazed anger. “I’ve been working on your shitty prank for five days and now you’re fucking with me because you’re bored?! You fucking asshole!”, [Well we’re kinda sharing a brain here, work with me?], “Just because you’re squatting in MY head I MUST listen to you?! Entertain every one of your FUCKING WHIMS?!” Lisa was looking positively insane. Tears flickering in her eyes, face distorted as if she wanted to tear into somebody, screaming at the top of her lungs at a voice in her head. The storm would drown out her shouting for anybody outside. Her mom would be her only witness. [Well no, but...], “If you know everything so much FUCKING better, THEN GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD AND BE YOUR OWN GOD DAMNED PERSON!!”

[Lisa, I’m not...], “SHUT UP!”

[But Vic also said...], “SHUT!”

 “UP!!”

For a moment, silence settled with only the pounding of the rain on the blinds echoing through the room. Tears were flowing freely down Lisa’s face, her breathing laboured from screaming. Her mom used the pause in the argument to turn Lisa around in her lap. She pulled her down to lie on the couch in a hug.

For some time, the only sounds in the room were the chocked sobbing of Lisa and the storm raging outside. Her mom was simply there for her, falling back into the soothing mumblings she used to fend of Lisa’s nightmares. There was little else in their world at the moment, their apartment being the safe shelter from the insanity and chaos outside. Lisa’s shuddering breaths calmed. “He’s always listening. He listens to everything I think.” Her voice was shaking. “There’s no where to run, I can always feel him watching. Always.” Her mom pulled her closer. “He’s always checking my thoughts. He never leaves me alone, never lets me be happy. Everytime I start to relax, everytime I start to get comfy, everytime I start to have fun, he always ruins it.” Lisa’s voice broke. Barbara buried her hand in Lisas hair. “He never lets me be just happy, whenever I’m laughing or smile it has to be because of him or he says something to ruin it.” She swallowed hard. “He says whatever he wants, whenever he wants, I can’t even take a shit without him saying anything!”

Lisa’s voice failed her and her words stuck in her throat. She pulled closer into Barbara’s hug. When she continued her voice was barely a whisper. “I don’t have privacy, the feeling of somebody else, someone not me, always in the back of my mind. I don’t know how to get rid of it. I just wish it was gone, I just want him out of my head.” She drew up her nose. “I’m never alone. I’m never going to be alone again.” Barbara didn’t know what to say as she tried to comfort her. “Honey...”

Lisa continued, her voice cracking as she got more agitated. “Why do I have to go through hell, why did I get kidnapped, why did they ship me off as a fucking doll and not Cassandra, what made me special, why didn’t Cassandra get dragged into a Tyger Claw hideout to be a... a...” Lisa was breathless, trying to find words to describe the horrors she knew must have happened. “It’s okay, sweety. You’re going to be fine. I’m here.”, Barbara comforted her in a low voice. Conrad drove it home. [At least you’re over 18. Imagine...] “AAAAAHHH!! SHUT! UUP!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!” Lisa curled up and pressed her hands on her ears. She cried harder as her mom tried her best to give her some sort of relief. Some time later, Lisa slowly relaxed.

She sounded done with the world. “I can’t even properly think about ending it all, because he took that part of me for himself. It’s part of what split off.” She had tired herself out, but her tears weren’t quite done yet. Her words were hollow, lifeless. “Please, just make him give me back my mind. Please just make him give back what he took from me, make him give back myself, make him give me back my head, I want to be alone again. Make him go away.” Lisa’s eyes closed as exhaustion took hold. Her shaky breathing evened out and her tears dried up when she slowly drifted into dreamless sleep.

Barbara swallowed hard as she fought against tears. For a while, she simply listened to Lisa’s breathing. Outside, the rain tried its best to tear down the building, rattling, shaking the windows, like a beast roaming free, but unable to affect anything, the world simply hiding from its rage. Once she was sure her little angel was deep asleep, Barbara slowly stood up from the couch, taking care to keep Lisa in a secure hug. The woman was lost and unsure. “What do I do...”, she said to herself in a quiet voice, silence and the storm outside her only answer. She had little trouble carrying Lisa to her bed. Settling her down on the mattress, she wiped the tears from her sleeping daughter, lying down beside her. “Maybe... Misty’s...? Would she know anything...?”, her shaky voice trailed off. Barbara took a deep breath as she went to join Lisa in dreamland. She could only hope that her little angel would derive some form of catharsis from this.

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Content warning end.

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|61 : 34 : 5 , 0.21| Minus three for team Lisa, day 12 of hell. Not much more happened yesterday. Once Lisa woke up from her outburst and subsequent breakdown, she had spent the rest of the day in lethargic depression. At least Conrad had actually kept silent, allowing Lisa some much needed reprieve. Her mom had kept close to her, offering silent support, unsure of what to say. They spent the rest of the day in bed, only standing up to get dinner. Now, the next day, they where eating their breakfast. Lisa was sitting at the kitchen table, eating her sandwich in silence, her brows locked into an angry frown. Her mom accompanied her, her own frown worried. Outside, the storm was still going strong, though it had let up a bit. [So what are we doing...] “Shut up, Conny.” Lisas metal hand gripped her sandwich tighter. [Com’on! It’s a brand new day for...] “Shut!” Lisa slammed her left hand on the table with every word. “Up!” The insides of Lisa’s sandwich were spilling out. She sighed and ripped off another bite. The constant ruckus from outside offered an easy distraction for Lisa’s foul mood. After finishing her first sandwich she huffed and took another. “I need to punch something.”, she said in a dark voice. Barbara studied Lisa for a while, eating her own breakfast. She found the raging winds and rain outside, juxtaposed with the relative calmness in their apartment, eerily similar to Lisa’s mood. “The storm has let up a bit. Maybe go to the gym? Do some sparring? We could do some CQC.” Lisa looked at her meat hand, opening and closing it into a fist. She imagined herself punching, fighting. “No... Maybe...” Silence settled between them. “Maybe the shooting range then? Try out your Ira? Test some other iron?”, Barbara offered. Lisa’s eyes gained a certain glint. “Yeah... yeah, I think I’d like that.” Her mom gave her a small smile. Lisa didn’t reciprocate, but her frown lessened. She couldn’t punch or shoot Conny, but she could damn well pretend.

After they finished their breakfast, they took a Delamain to a nearby gun-store-slash-shooting-range. A fleeting smirk made its way across Lisa’s face when the AI reminded her mom to buckle in, even though it was barely a two minute drive. They would have walked the distance if the weather had been better. Trying to evade the rain was futile, but thanks to the cab they weren’t too wet when they hurried into the store. It wasn’t very large, just a well lit room painted in whites and greys. The walls were lined with locked display cases. The counter in the left wall was large enough to service two people, the glass separator reinforced with metal gratings. The clerks would have the upper hand on anybody trying to rob them, there was no cover in the store and Lisa could see the outline of a turret in the ceiling at the back right corner. They had a lot of iron on display, from shotguns to handcannons to precision rifles, all of them with multiple ammo types lined up. While Lisa was scouting the premise, her mom had finished talking with one of the clerks and they passed a door to the side of the counter. Entering the space behind the safety cage of the clerks, they entered into a shooting range. There was a group of three young men crowded around one of the lanes, but otherwise the range was empty. The hurricane wasn’t good for business it seemed, or maybe there were less customers in the morning.

“So what’ll ya be shootin’. Jus’ need ammo or wanna rent some iron?”, the clerk asked as he led them to an empty lane. He was a beansprout of a boy, maybe in his early 20s. He had the nervous air and the soulless, aggressive eyes of somebody who chipped to much chrome too quickly. His wide cut shirt hid most of his upper body, but his hands were heavily modified, with steel covering his knuckles and fingers. From the style of his hand chrome, he was probably a Maelstrom, though he lacked the distinct red optics. Maybe just a wannabe. “Just some ammo for a Kenshin and Nue for now. Let’s say 100 rounds each to start. Maybe well try something else later.”, Barbara instructed and the clerk nodded. “’aight, you want tungsten or cheaper steel tips for the Kenshin? An’ for the Nue? Jus’ Wad Cutters?”, “Steel for the Kenshin and FMJ for me please.” The clerk gave a grunt of affirmation and went to grab their ammo. They took two lanes and brought out their respective irons. Lisa had held the Kenshin a few times over the last few days. It had helped ground her when Conny had been particularly annoying. Barbara had taken out her Nue and was checking it over. Seeing Lisa was unsure what to do, she helped her check her Kenshin.

When the clerk came back with their ammo, Barbara had finished showing Lisa how the separate parts of the Kenshin worked, what to take note of, how to check the electromagnetic rails and test the burst fire mechanism. Arasaka Academy had given them an overview of different types of ranged weapons, which was mostly just advertisement for their guns in disguise, but those lessons had been purely theoretical, so while Lisa was aware of the inner workings of her iron, she hadn’t had the chance to use one. She had used a Nue and a few other handguns before, but no Kenshin. The clerk deposited their respective ammo boxes at their lanes and eyed Lisa when he saw how clumsy she handled her iron. “You need a guide?”, he asked, but Barbara declined. “No, I’ll handle it, thanks.” He gave an expressionless nod and left. “If y’need somethin’ I’m in the booth.”

Lisa started loading one of the magazines in her box with bullets. She remembered holding similar magazines down in the sublevels. Thinking back to her rampage on her way out of hell, she had been pretty lucky with the reloads. It obviously wasn’t just ‘handgun ammo’. Guns didn’t magically transform their bullets in their barrels or something. Smart handguns obviously had different bullets than, for example, a revolver. Where had that thought come from? Probably something from Conny... Feeling a hint of dread at what other thoughts and impressions might not have been hers, she finished loading all four provided magazines and the one she brought with her. Facing the range, she fiddled with the controls for the target. The metal plate could be set at different distances and could even simulate moving targets. Ones hits could be viewed with a hologram. She lifted the Ira and started unloading.

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250’ish bullets in Lisa felt strange. It was much too easy. At first, she had trouble hitting the target, over or underestimating the recoil and aiming incorrectly. Her mom had guided her a few times and gave her a few tips, but that couldn’t explain how she had consistently hit close to bullseye starting from 60 bullets onwards. Distance hadn’t really impacted her accuracy. She had felt as if with every shot she found something to correct in her posture, a way to better mitigate the recoil, a better way to stabilize her grip. She had experimented with different stances. Using her chrome right arm to support her left meat one was a bad idea, the recoil enough to bruise her natural hand against the unnatural one. Her right arm could handle the gun just fine without support, easily handling the forces the iron exerted with metal backed strength. Her right hand could even flick the bursts of her Kenshin to draw specific patterns with the bullets. So, she had spent most of the time shooting one handed with her left hand, all the while feeling as if there was some hidden guidance helping her along. Pausing for a moment she looked at her weapon. It felt as if she had handled it for years, like she was a natural, but the weird discrepancy between the experienced feeling and her partially unsteady grip gave her pause. She put the iron on the small table of her lane and stared at it, leaning her hands on the tables surface. What did you do, Conrad. she demanded, feeling dread rising towards her throat before he even answered.

[I’ve set the chip to analyse your shooting.] His voice wasn’t his usual young and hyperactive tone. He was more mature this time, calmer and softer. She clenched her jaws and closed her eyes. What else have you been doing behind my back? In what other ways have you been fucking with me? She took slow controlled breaths. [All it’s doing is cutting down on learning time. The 5% it’s occupying is where it’s putting the improved experiences and enhancing neuron growth.] She balled her hands into fists. And you decided to fuck with MY cyberwear behind my back because?! Conny didn’t answer. A few deep measured breaths later she slightly shook her head. Prove it. Show me that that’s all you’re doing.

Just as she demanded, Conrad pulled up the interface to her doll chip and outlined how he set it up. Once he was finished, Lisa spent some time scrolling through its accursed interface, looking at what it was capable of. Tears slowly gathered in her still closed eyes. She still hated the doll chip, still didn’t want to touch the damn thing, but rifling through the interface, Lisa noticed a specific detail. The doll chip had broken and it couldn’t expand its influence. The 5% it had right now, were locked in and couldn’t change. This is MY body, she thought with relief. Conrad reaffirmed her in a quiet tone. [It’s your body, Lisa. It always will be.] She swallowed hard as her throat constricted. It can’t overwrite me, it can’t override me, she stated with certainty. [It can’t change who you are on a whim, Lisa. Neither can I.] His calm tone, so completely different from his usual, was soothing. It can’t control me. Technically, Conrad could control her, although only with great effort. But Lisa wasn’t talking technicalities. [The doll chip can’t subvert your control, Lisa. You decide what to do with it. Use it for support and make it into your power or ignore it, it’s completely your choice.] Tears were making their way from her downcast face and dripped from her nose. Through blurry eyes she watched as they fell over her Ira, her wrath, her Kenshin. For a while she submerged herself in the relief she felt. I’m not going to stop being myself. It won’t take over my body ever again. [It won’t, Lisa. It broke in just the right way. It can’t ever be used as intended anymore. You are the one who decides. You have more control than you realise.] She sniffed loudly and let out a shuddering breath. I won’t randomly black out and wake up in hell without memories again. Her clenched hands relaxed. [No, you will not loose weeks worth of memories again.], Conrad asserted. Lisa spent a while simply feeling relieved, letting go of fears she hadn’t realized she had had. The nagging in the back of her mind, reminding her that anybody could jack into her and puppeteer her body against her will, evaporating. She immersed herself in the relief she felt, anxiety falling away, shed, like the cocoon of a butterfly. Once the relief had ebbed away, settling into calm sureness, Conrad’s voice turned more juvenile. [You might still black out, but at least not because of the doll chip.] Lisa huffed and closed her eyes. She lifted her metal hand as if to slam the table in anger, clenching her fist, but simply held it in in the air as a smirk twitched across her tear-stricken face. Fuck you, Conny. The voice in her head chuckled.

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Barbara was proud of her little angel. Bewildered, but proud. The dividers between lanes were barely longer than the tables, so she could easily give Lisa tips and correct some of her larger errors. She had gotten the hang of her Kenshin after emptying 5 magazines. 60 shots, that was all it took. She had gone for more bullets at that point. She suspected there was something fishy going on, but watching her become ambidextrous with the iron after another 5 mags blew her away. Barbara had hardly paid attention to her own shots. Another 10 magazines later, Lisa could quickdraw, fire from different positions and flick the Kenshin’s burst. But that was also when Lisa paused.

She had put her Kenshin down on the table of her shooting lane and leaned over it. Barbara clenched her jaws as Lisa’s shoulders started shacking while she was obviously trying to keep her breathing under control. Her introspection lasted for a while. After some time, tears dripped down from her nose and Barbara could feel her throat constrict. She reached out toward her daughter, but her hand stilled midair. What can I do? She had failed her once, Barbara had been unable to keep her baby safe. Can I even help? Helplessness, insecurity, crushing guilt. I have caused this. I’m the reason she’s in pain. Barbara knew it was irrational. There was no way she could perfectly protect her without locking her away. She was only human after all. But I didn’t even notice the pain her arm was causing. It was Barbara that had brought Lisa to the Arasaka ripper. I was complacent. Her hand fell back to her side. Never again. Lisa drew up her nose.

A while that felt like eternity later, Lisa brought up her metal hand, ready to slam the table, but hesitated. Her shuddering breath held a hint of an amused huff and she started loading bullets into her magazines, one after the other. Barbara quickly turned back to her lane and wiped off her building tears. She refocused her Nue on her target. She didn’t want Lisa to see her moment of weakness. I will be better. I need to be her rock to hold onto. She fired. I will ping Misty. I need to up security and I need to find out why the kid followed us. She fired again. It pained her that she would inevitably leave Lisa alone while she took care of things. I need more contacts. Information. Lisa started firing her Kenshin. At least this time I’m leaving on my own terms. No more missions keeping me away all night. Barbara fired again. Lisa is strong. I need to trust that she will be fine. She fired again. I need to be better. Barbara kept firing.

#--------------------------------

Tears of relief blurred Lisas vision as she filled the last of her 3^rd bullet serving into magazines. No random schmuck can hack me and take over my brain. She almost had to laugh. It’s basically just cosmetic! [Well, that’s going a bit far. But it’s not a major vulnerability.] Why didn’t you tell me? Tell me that the thing’s neutered? [Oh, let me just play out that conversation.] He cleared his throat. Why did the voice in her fucking head need to clear its throat? [Hey Lisa, the doll chip/thing/chrome, in your neck is... No, shut up Conny.], he deadpanned. Lisa finished one mag and went on to the next. That’s not how that conversation goes. You could have thrown it in at any point of your usual ramblings. Fuck, you could have told me when I was busy taking a shit yesterday instead of whining how its weird. Just a quick ‘the thing’s neutered’. [I was having fun coding! Animal ears were more important! Besides, it makes for a much better story when you find out yourself.] Lisa’s annoyance was rising again. You... insane... fucking... Conny finished the thought for her. [Superpowered mental disorder?] She pushed the last round of the magazine in with force. Asshole. Lisa picked up the next magazine. [Aw. I’m gonna pretend you said superpowered mental disorder.] Shut up, Conny! [Aah! Normalcy returns!] Lisa groaned. She finished loading the rest of the bullets in silence. Three full and one nearly full magazine. She wiped the tears off her face with her sleeve. [Actually, I found the neutered thing when I set up the quick learning and the doll chip occupation wouldn’t move from 5%.] Don’t try to talk yourself out of this. Lisa aimed her iron. [No, really! I didn’t know either!] Suuuuure. Lisa leisurely finished her bullets, allowing herself to let go of her worries for now and with every bullseye, immersed herself in the moment. Her slightly puffy eyes and still tear-blurred vision had little impact on her aim.

Putting down her Ira and laying the lent magazines in the now empty ammo box, Lisa felt... content? Satisfied? Gripping her Kenshin no longer just provided her a sense of security. It was no longer a one-way relationship, with Lisa on the receiving end. She now knew how to properly make use of the iron. The Ira would provide her with stability and in return, Lisa would make full use of its abilities, giving purpose to its existence, feeding it with whatever drew her ire. Mentally flicking the doll chip, she let it idle again, relieving it of its task of enhancing her learning. Her discomfort at using the unwanted chrome was overshadowed by astonishment and elation as, when she looked at her Kenshin, the feeling of skill remained even though the chip didn’t support her anymore. She really had become skillfull in handling the weapon after 300 shots, her brain absorbing and integrating the supplied knowledge. This glee, however, was quickly joined by worries once again. It had been too easy. The fear of being hacked returned. What if somebody got into her system? They couldn’t puppeteer her body, sure, but what could they make her learn? From the short time she had spent looking through the interface, Lisa could guess that the learning capability didn’t stop at skills. With the doll chip being closely integrated with her grey matter, its coding was much less like a piece of machinery and much closer to working with prompts, like asking an AI to do something. Conny had given it the prompt to ‘analyse my shooting posture and find ways to improve it’. The openness of the prompt scared her. If somebody took over her systems, what could they make the 5% of her brain do? Were there any limits on what she could ‘learn’ this way? If it’s prompted with ‘stay at a certain location’, what would that do? Could she ‘learn’ to love somebody? Trained to think a certain way? Her thought patterns altered permanently? It had taken the better part of two hours to become proficient with the Kenshin. How fast would she ‘learn’ other things? She shuddered. The skill she had gained with the Kenshin felt natural. She knew the process of how she gained it, knew it hadn’t been acquired the normal way, but there was nothing that differentiated her skill in shooting from her comfort handling chopsticks, both skills felt genuine. Lisa’s breathing hitched. Had she already been altered? This is much worse. Lisa started hyperventilating. Am I still myself? Worse yet. How quick would I stop being myself? Would ‘do whatever somebody says’ work? Lisa shivered, cold sweat forming on her forehead. Fuck. FUCK! This was bad. What do I even DO about that?! How do I... How...

[Calm down Lisa! If somebody hacks you, they’re going to get access through your cyberdeck! The interface between that and the doll chip is entirely different than the one between the chip and your brain! If somebody hacks you, they can ping your doll chip and they’ll get an error because its broken.] Lisa kept breathing hard, but her panic wasn’t escalating anymore. She closed her eyes and tried to wrangle her fear back under control. But that doesn’t change the fact that the thing can mess with me in such an obscene manner! Fuck, how quickly would ‘Believe you are and always have been Johnny Silverhand, and act like him’ turn me into him?! How quickly would that ERASE me?! [Yeah sure, it is really fucking invasive, but at least you are the one doing the prompts. We’ll have to test and make sure that there really is no way for somebody else to get that level of access, but for all we know, you are the only one that can fuck with yourself in that way.] Lisa took a controlled breath. And, of course, you can too. Lisa felt anger and dread. [Oh believe me, I wish ‘make Conrad disappear’ would work. That would be the fastest way out for me. Actually, we should try that. Please?]

A hand gently touching her right shoulder consumed her attention and she turned towards the hand’s owner with a flinch. Her mom was looking at her with concern, her outstretched arm slowly retreating. “Everything okay, sweety?”, she asked in a careful voice. Lisa took some deep breaths. She gave a quick nod. “Just some d-chip bullshit.” A frown flew past Barbaras face before she sighed. Lisa took a moment to calm back down. Her mom, trying to change topics, raised an amused eyebrow. “Wanna tell me how went from zero to crackshot in 300 bullets?" Lisa huffed. “Comon, tell me your secrets!”, “Just some d-chip bullshit.” Lisa shook her head with a weary smile. She was still looking a bit haunted.

“So, wanna try out some more iron or shall we head home?” Lisa mulled over her mom’s question for a while. I kinda just wanna go home again... but its a pain coming here with the storm... Urgh, I don’t want to use the doll chip again, what if I fuck up? [But the learning enhancement went fine?] Oh yeah, peachy, thanks for asking before potentially fucking with my ego, Lisa shot back sarcastically. [Well, it was easier to beg for forgiveness then ask permission?] Fuck off. Heaving an internal sigh. [While we’re here might as well, right?], Conrad reasoned with a measured voice. Yeah... Barbara had been carefully studying the minute changes of Lisas face and knew her decision right when she made it. “Alright sweety, let’s get you some irons and mags!” Her mom smiled. “Start with an SMG? Get 10 refills?” Lisa sighed, putting her existential dread aside for the moment. ...Let’s start grinding.

#-----------------------------------------

Barbara had to admit, ‘d-chip bullshit’ was underselling it. From SMGs to machine pistols to assault rifles to revolvers to precision rifles, 10 magazines was enough and Lisa could handle them like an expert. Perhaps skill in the shooting range didn’t properly translate to skill in the field, but Lisa would probably adapt at ridiculous speed. She had stopped at precision rifles, anything bigger or with more oomph would be difficult for Lisa to handle. Her little angel looked a bit peeved at not being able to test sniper rifles, but the process of mastering so many weapons in so little time had visibly worn her out. She had eyed a Techtronica SPT32 Grad, but Barbara had told her that she would need more muscle to handle the recoil of the stripped down anti-tank-weapon-turned-sniper-rifle, otherwise it was liable to seriously bruise her chest, back and neck. If she set the weapon against her metal shoulder. Her meat side receiving the recoil would probably at least dislocate her shoulder or even break it. From the look Lisa had, the ability to use the more recoil intensive guns made her seriously consider putting effort into training her body.

On their way back, Lisa extensively complained about a growing headache. When they arrived home, Lisa was starting to feel dizzy. With worry Barbara had hurried her little angel into their apartment, where she promptly flopped down on the couch. Barbara wasn’t quite sure what was going on. She wanted to call doc Vektor and bring her in, but Lisa waived off her concern. She had explained a bit about the doll chip being broken, so its capacity to use her as a handpuppet was practically nonexistent, but that its invasiveness allowed it to have 5% of her brain hyperfocus on something and through that speed up learning, and with how skillfull she had become in so little time, a headache and nausea was to be expected. Barbara had been elated hearing that the unwanted chrome was nonfunctional, but Lisa’s wording when describing the enhanced learning filled her with dread. She held back any more questions though, as Lisa had promptly fallen asleep. Since they had skipped lunch, Barbara got some quick takeout and procured two blankets. One she draped over Lisa, the other she used herself as she sat on the floor infront of the couch. She stuck her jack into one of Lisa’s ports so she could keep a better eye on her biomon, just incase, before settling down. Letting her head fall back, she let out a sigh. The day was hardly over and Barbara was already tired. The whole week had been draining. Being cooped up due to the storm, spending hours at a time in close contact with Lisa’s split personality, confronted with the consequences of her failings, as they worked together in twisted harmony to create a deamon had taken its toll.

Lisa’s struggle with her doll chip, her fear turning into a mix of elation and dread as she used it for her gain, Barbaras own struggle as she strained to stave off the guilt and despair at her failings, so much had happened in just one morning. Barbaras eyes snapped open and she set her jaw as she rallied up. Security, information, Misty. She exhaled sharply as she went and made some calls.

#-------------------------

Author note:

Not quite satisfied with how this chapter turned out. While some form of push would have been necessary to have Lisa start dealing with the doll chip instead of ignoring it and doing it this way allows me to have Barbara stop motherhenning her and allows me to simultaneously show that not everything is sunshine and rainbows with having a voice in your head, I’m unsure if how I wrote it is organic and not forced. So besides the discomfort of handling heavy topics, this one was difficult to write. Let me know in the comments or the poll what you think. Also, this more or less marks the end of what in my head passes as ‘introduction’. Yeah. ~45k words for the intro. I’ll have to sit down and actually think about how I’ll get to the other cool shit bouncing around in my head, time to plan the first ‘arc’ :).

#- edits/correction -#

buckets of water falling from the sky so instead the snuggled -> buckets of water falling from the sky, so instead they snuggled

Lisa sighed in content when she relaxed her the back of her head -> Lisa sighed in content when she relaxed the back of her head

But the wouldn’t let up any time soon -> But the rain wouldn’t let up any time soon

without any way to find respite was grating -> without any way to find respite, was grating

Maybe well try something else later.” The clerk nodded. -> Maybe well try something else later.”, Barbara instructed and the clerk nodded.

She felt dread rising -> she demanded, feeling dread rising

let go of her worries for the moment with every bullseye, immersing herself in the moment -> let go of her worries for now and with every bullseye, immersed herself in the moment

Lisa would probably adapt ridiculous speed -> Lisa would probably adapt at ridiculous speed

putting effort in training her body -> putting effort into training her body

She wasn’t quite sure -> Barbara wasn’t quite sure

Or go for a chocker or headband. -> Or go for a choker or headband.