I’m afraid of having hope.

Those words, Kishiko’s words, rummaged around my mind as I lay in bed at night. 

A few hours had passed since we talked. We had a relatively peaceful meal after that, and the rest of the day went by with nothing really going on before we finally went to our respective rooms to head to bed. But I couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard I tried, my mind didn’t stop wandering and replaying our conversation endlessly.

I had said everything I felt I should. The best I could’ve done was reassure her of my intentions. At least, that’s what I believed, but was that really true?

Regardless of my intentions, they were still slaves, and I had still bought them. What that meant on a grander scale, I didn’t know, but it wasn’t like I could do much about that.

I’d never been the biggest advocate for either supporting the slave trade or going against it. Personally, I never had reason to have slaves, and neither did my parents. Of course, they were offered some plenty of times due to their status, but they never accepted any, although I never truly knew why. Because of that, the whole slave trade wasn’t on my mind much except for when I saw some slaves out and about with their masters, but in a town like this one, even that was pretty rare. It’s not like we were in the wealthiest place. Most people didn’t have that kind of money.

Regardless of any of that, the one thing I knew I couldn’t do was treat slaves as inhuman. It’s not like I was treating these girls nicely because I was forcing myself to be nice. I simply couldn’t do the opposite. Something most people didn’t seem to have a problem with.

I knew that.

I did, but I had never actually had it been told to me directly by a slave. And I didn’t even think about how the slaves felt about all of that.

“Now what…?” I asked out loud.

With my mind unwilling to clear up, I decided to go outside for some fresh air. I stood and headed for the large double windows on the back wall of the room, next to my bed. Pushing against them revealed a small balcony that looked out to a section of Selene, its stone buildings lightly illuminated by a few lamps scattered throughout and light coming from windows.

A cool breeze brushed my face and I let out a long sigh.

My choice to buy slaves wasn’t an entirely logical or thought-out plan. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision with very little more to it. That much was clear. Not once had I really thought about how they’d feel about the whole ordeal and until just today, I especially didn’t consider that my attempts to treat them well would come across in a way that I didn’t intend it to. I’d tried my best to reassure Kishiko of my intentions, so that was, I believe, a good step forward, but what about the other three?

From what I understood, the twins had never been owned by anyone before, but there was their whole life in the church that probably still lingered over them. Misaki on the other hand, was a whole other story.

“Are you feeling okay, master?”

“Huh?!” I jerked my head back at the sudden voice. Quickly turning to my left, I found Misaki leaning on the rail of her own balcony, her breasts protruding over them. “Oh, Misaki. I didn’t see you there.” I let out a breath. “Yes, I’m fine. Just needed some air.”

“I see. Sounds good.” She said straight-faced and gazed back to the town.

But while she did that, I kept my eyes on her face. Her gaze, as empty as it had been since I first saw her, and her impulsiveness all had to come from being a slave. Of course, that’s not something I could easily figure out without her outright telling me how she was in the past, but having come from royalty, I couldn’t see her being this way before. Then again, it was still a mystery how she got to the point she became a slave.

Even after years of, most likely, horrendous things happening to her, her skin was still a perfect white. It was like the prettiest marble. Her features were as if they’d been detailed by a master artist.

And to think she’s the girl I lost my virginity to.

For some reason, that fact hadn’t fully cemented into my mind.

Whatever byproduct came from that curse placed upon her made it difficult for me to really feel much even after having sex for the first time. It felt good sure, but emotionally I felt nothing there. Yet again, I don’t imagine people bought Misaki because they were looking for some emotional connection. Sex slaves were little more than objects — that’s how people saw them.

But even though I didn’t buy her for that reason, it seems the curse isn’t really going to give me another choice. Speaking of which, didn’t she say she had to do it every day?

“This place is quiet.”

Misaki’s sudden statement snapped me out of my line of thinking. I turned towards Selene and inspected the scene I had seen plenty of times before. “Yeah. That’s why my parents moved here.” I thought back to my mother telling me the story of when they first came across this place. It had apparently been many years before they actually moved in. “They were stationed here for a month and promised one another that one day they’d move here together…and here’s where I’ve grown up my entire life.”

“…” Misaki wordlessly stared at the town. Before long, she parted her lips and eventually said, “That sounds nice.”

Her entire life, up until she became a slave that is, had probably been spent in the busy city. As far from quiet as it could possibly be. And when she wasn’t in a loud city, she was a sex slave.

I’ve been tortured…abused…played with…and anything else you can imagine…trust me, there’s nothing you can do to me that I can’t handle.

Kishiko’s words once again replayed in my mind.

If she’d gone through that, Misaki must’ve as well. Maybe she thought of me in the same way Kishiko did. Maybe she thought I was leading her on with some sort of ruse and that I would snatch all of that away.

Before, that wouldn’t have been something I would’ve thought about, but now that I know, I can’t just pretend it’s not a possibility.

“Misaki…” I started.

“Yes, master?”

I was about to tell her she doesn’t have to call me master, but I knew that saying that would probably lead to a whole other discussion, so I decided to continue and ask, “Are you okay with this?”

Misaki silently turned to me.

I turned as well, staring into those blue orbs that reflected the faint moonlight, making them look like the ocean at night.

“Okay with what?” she asked.

“Living like this,” I answered after a bit of hesitation.

“…Does it really matter if I—”

“I think it does.”

I leaned forward so half my body hung over the railing. The floor was a few meters below. It was nothing that I couldn’t survive if I fell, but I could still feel a strange rush in my stomach as I felt my body wanting to fall.

“This is where you will be living for the foreseeable future, so it’s only natural that I want it to at least be comfortable—”

As I finished saying that I realized I was just doing the same thing I had been doing up till now. With the chance of her not believing what I was saying and instead suspecting I had other intentions, these words really meant nothing.

I had to approach this differently. 

“…Look…” I began. “I know you may not trust me, I get that, but I really don’t mean you any harm. I don’t know what I have to do to get you to believe me, but—”

“I believe you,” Misaki cut me off.

“Huh?” I inadvertently let out.

“I’ve spent enough time with shady businessmen, liars, tricksters, and all the like to know when someone is lying. I don’t feel any disingenuity from you, so I believe you.”

A wave of relief washed over me, but just as quickly, a certain unease crept up. “Then—”

“But I’m still your property.” She cut me off. “That won’t change.”

I quickly shut my mouth. It wasn’t difficult to understand what she was getting at, and I was in no position to tell her otherwise. But I wasn’t fully capable of just leaving it at that. “I get that, but all I really want is for you to do whatever you want. Me being your master shouldn’t matter.”

“Is that an order?”

“What?”

“Are you ordering me to do what I want?”

“…”

Hearing her put it like that sent an even deeper unease down my chest.

Yes, in a way, that’s what I wanted, but ordering her to do something felt…I don’t know, counterproductive—maybe. But on the other hand, it didn’t seem like she was going to budge any other way. This was possibly the only way for her to break free, even a little, from the shackles that had been holding her back.

Even if I didn’t like putting it that way…

“Yes, it is,” I finally decided.

Misaki stared at me blankly for a few seconds before nodding. “Okay, master.”

With that, she turned and silently entered her room again.

After staring where she once was for a bit, I let out a sigh.

That’d gone nothing like I had expected it to. In fact, it’d been the exact opposite. I guess it was a bit foolish to think that all of them would think the same way, but I also wanted to get rid of any doubt. At least now I knew that Misaki and Kishiko weren’t both suffering in the same way. In a way that was good, but now I had to wonder what Misaki would—

Knock Knock.

A knocking came from inside my room. Puzzled, I went back inside and headed towards it. Without asking who it was, I simply opened the door. 

I only saw a momentary flash of blue as I was pushed back, and the door closed. I was continuously pushed back until I made it back to the balcony. Only after I hit the rail was I able to look down, only to find luscious blue hair and two orbs staring deep into my eyes.

“Misaki? What are you—?”

Before I could say anything else, she raised herself so her lips sealed mine. She held my face with both hands and her tongue forced my mouth open as she aggressively pushed even further towards me. Her chest pressed against me, overwhelming all of my senses for a moment before I was finally able to pull away.

But before I could say anything, she grabbed my face again and looked deep into my eyes.

“Then what I want,” she started. “Is for you to treat me like a slave.”

 

***Author's Note***

 

Happy Holidays!... I say as I suddenly come back as if I hadn't just promised that I would be consistent with uploading.

Anyway, it's pretty clear by how irregular the updates are that I'm terrible with keeping up with writing. And I also said I wouldn't make more author's notes and yet here we are. I'm really just terrible at keeping my word. Guess I'll have to work on that. But at the very least I was able to get a chapter up right during the holidays which was something I was planning on doing.

Half of this chapter was written the week after I uploaded the last one, but I really couldn't find time or have the energy to continue it. So, what I ended up doing was working on it during my commute to work, during breaks, and during the weekends. Although, I only decided to do that like last week, so this chapter took about a week to write.

With that being said, no, like I said before, I won't be dropping this story. I have many plans for it and...well you know the rest (if you're read my other author's notes).

So, for those that are still sticking along even after how terrible I am at uploading, I thank you all so very much and I once again apologize for posting like once a month. I'll try not to [insert the same old promise here for the nth time here and then do the exact thing you said you wouldn't do]