What happened to me.. In those three months? The thought raced through my mind as my bewildered gaze darted from side to side, seeking answers.

        I’ve gotten… Heavier. I looked down, my eyes falling upon my cold and pale toes peeking out from beneath the thin, white sheets. "I've become much paler, too," I murmured to myself. 

        Nevermind that. That didn’t matter to me. What mattered.. Was how long until I can leave this place! I drifted my left arm up and grasped the frigid rails, using them as leverage to pull myself upright. 

        Even the simplest task, like sitting up, proved to be a monumental challenge for my feeble body. Damn it, just how far back have I fallen?! I cursed inwardly, frustration simmering within me.

        As I struggled to rise, my eyes caught sight of something peculiar. Countless files and papers cluttered the desks adjacent to my bed. Intrigued, I leaned closer, my eyes scanning the documents as I sat up.

        Sure enough... These papers were all about me. They chronicled my parents, my condition, my suicide, and... My life as a knight.

        —Wait! My life as a knight?! Does that mean they knew? Leaning to my right, I extended my body over the rails, reaching out with frozen fingers to grasp the orange-colored folder. With effort, I retreated back to my seated position, carefully examining its contents.

        I stared at the folder, my mind filled with conflicting emotions. Should I open it? What if it holds vital information, something I desperately need to know? Perhaps it contains answers about those three monsters that haunt my memories.

        Yes. I have to open it. I have to know what’s inside of this. And all the other notes and papers that surrounded me.

        But.. Not right now. I told myself, my gaze shifted towards the left, where a door stood in my enormous, desolate hospital room. It was likely the bathroom, and that's exactly what I needed at that moment.

        I yearned for a clear reflection of myself, a true glimpse of what I had become, I summoned my strength and grasped the cold, metal bed rails. Slowly, I pulled myself forward, my feeble body straining against the resistance.

        As I slid across the soft cushions of the bed, the oddly warm sheet slipped down, revealing my frail form. With determination, I lowered myself to the edge of the bed, allowing my feet to touch the chilly floor for the first time.

        A wave of uncertainty washed over me, as if my weakened state would betray me if I dared to walk.

        Yet, I knew those fears were baseless, buried deep within me alongside all the other irrational fears I had long conquered. I refused to let them resurface.

        With a mixture of trepidation and determination, I mustered the courage to take my first steps towards the bathroom.

        Using my arms, I forced myself to step up. Each and every single pound I had in my body pushed down onto my frail feet.

        I mustered all the courage and pride in me to stand up. And when I did, my body nearly fell backward. I latched my arm onto the rail once more, pushing forward and moving back to my feet.

        A few moments passed as I stood there silently. “Okay...” I huffed with relief, looking at that bathroom door once more. Now time for walking.

        I prepared myself, long breaths of air leaving and entering me as I calmed myself.

        I lifted my right leg before planting it a few inches ahead, and followed with my left, and then back with my right.

        I don’t know why, but each step was like I was a baby walking for the first time. It was so interesting to me. A simple action like taking steps was captivating.

        It was as if I was being filled with courage, just by watching myself walk, even after being in a coma for three months.

        After my legs took me to the bathroom door, I gazed down to the knob. I wrapped my hand around it and twisted it, a loud creaking noise filling the silence.

        In that moment, a voice within me whispered, urging me to face my fears head-on. It was time to uncover the secrets hidden within the folder and the notes that surrounded me.

        But first, I needed to confront the person I had become, to confront the reflection that awaited me beyond the bathroom door.

        When I pushed open the bathroom door and stepped inside, I found a simple and unadorned space. In the top left corner, there was a toilet, and a sink and trash can were positioned nearby. But what caught my attention was the mirror.

        And as I saw the mirror, I saw myself.

        A single word escaped my lips, barely audible, "What..."         

        The reflection that stared back at me revealed the extent of the changes that had occurred, the new body I now bore.

It was exhausting to witness, and a wave of sadness washed over me, sinking my heart.

        I appeared as thin as a stick, my skin pale like the faintest light. The only hint of darkness came from the heavy bags that burdened my eyes. The more I studied my reflection, the more my heart broke. It was a painful sight to behold.

        I looked down, feeling the need to see more. To see just how miserable I had become. I looked down and decided to remove my pearly-colored shirt.

        With a flick of my wrists, I tossed it aside, and it landed gracefully on the bathroom floor. As I took a closer look at my bare chest, my eyes widened in shock.

        There, in the center of my chest, was a medium-sized round scar. It stained my skin with a faint golden hue that starkly contrasted with the rest of my complexion. When I brushed my fingertips over the scar, an odd, deep sensation coursed through me.

        It was a constant reminder of what I had done to myself, the place where I had attempted to end it all.

        This, I had done this to myself.

        A foolish attempt to end my life etched a reminder to me just how pathetic I was. Escaping my problems and leaving them to my family and others? I’m a coward. A scum. I thought to myself, how could I even look my mother in the eyes after this?

        After I disregarded her caring nature and tossed my brother’s hospitality away for my own selfish desires? To get away. To get away from those bastards..!

        As sadness engulfed me, it transformed into a raging inferno of anger and hatred. I directed my fury towards those responsible, the ones who had deceived me.

        How could I possibly blame myself? No. That’s their fault. Those demons in disguise.

        Evil was all that they were.

        With a burning intensity, I glared at my reflection in the mirror, unleashing a blaze of hatred that pierced through the glass. In that moment, my vision flickered for a moment.                

        Yet, this time. It wasn’t me that bore the glare of a thousand suns, no. The reflection before me transformed into a young figure, clad in impenetrable iron armor, wearing those same, deep abyssal eyes.

        Those same eyes of vengeance.

—

        “What are you doing?!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, my voice filled with a mix of shock and anger as the horrifying scene unfolded before my eyes.

        Leo callously dragged his leg away from the injured figure lying helplessly on the ground, while Nival stood nearby, observing the brutal act. “Oh, you’re here.” Leo responded with an unsettling nonchalance, his voice dripping with an air of superiority.

        My voice quivered with rage as I struggled to comprehend how Leo could act so casually, as if assaulting an innocent person went against no code of conduct for a knight!

        “You asshole, why did you do that to him?!” I shouted, my hand trembling with emphasis. My eyes briefly darted towards Ren, who quickly averted his gaze, compounding my frustration and disappointment.

        That bastard..! He’s just letting it happen?!

        Deep inside, I seethed with anger at Ren's silent compliance, unable to comprehend how he could stand by and allow such injustice to unfold before him.

        Nival stepped forward with a deep, rumbling chuckle escaping his lips. "You see... We were contracted by a... friend, you could say," He explained, his voice laced with a sinister amusement.

        My eyes widened in fury as I struggled to process his words. "Contracted? To beat an innocent person? What kind of knight does that?!" I argued, my voice reaching higher notes as my fiery anger grew.

        Leo, seemingly amused by my outburst, couldn't help but taunt me further. "Knight? Haha, it seems you've misunderstood," He sneered, an unsettling, sadistic grin spreading across his face.

        “We only became knights to have power.”

        The realization hit me like a sledgehammer to the chest. These so-called knights had forsaken their moral duty and noble cause, instead embracing a dark path in pursuit of personal gain. Their actions defied everything that knighthood stood for, leaving me with a bitter taste of betrayal and anger.

         “YOU BASTARDS!” I shouted with resentment.

        My eyes instantly locked onto Ren, desperately searching for any sign of remorse in his emotionless face. But there was nothing, not a single shred of guilt reflected in his eyes. And that only fueled the fire of rage within me. 

        "Y.. You are no true knights," I stammered, my voice trembling with a mix of disappointment and fury. "You have shattered the very code that we worked so hard to uphold. And for what? This won't go unseen!"

        With a firm grip on the hilt of my longsword, I swiftly unsheathed it, the metallic blade glinting in the dim light of the room. Taking a determined stance, I locked eyes with Ren, the strongest among the three traitors.

        If I beat Ren, then it’d for sure be my victory!

***

        No... It was not a victory for me. I never stood a chance. In the blink of an eye, Ren swiftly cut me down, his blade sheathed before my eyes could even register the movement. A searing pain surged through my body, and a profound ache settled within me.

        What was this feeling? Was it sadness? Hatred? No, it ran deeper than that. It was the shattered remnants of pride, the essence that defined every knight. My pride as a protector, my pride in being able to save people... It all crumbled in that decisive moment.

        Everything I had sworn to myself, the promises I made never to lose, never to let villainous individuals triumph over me... they were all shattered. My voice trembled weakly as I whispered, "How... How could I let this happen?"

        Blood trickled from my lips, staining the ground beneath me, a painful reminder of the beating I had endured. My limbs throbbed with agony, the pain searing through every inch of my battered body. Each breath I took came in quick, sharp gasps, as I looked up to see the civilian I had fought so desperately to protect now writhing in agony.

        Weak. I seethed with self-hatred. I’m weak! The words echoed in my mind, a scream of frustration and despair. I’m pathetic.. A burden!

        If I can’t even save one person, how could I protect hundreds, thousands?! 

        I was aware of my unsuitability for knighthood, and the pain of that realization cut deeper than any physical blade ever could. It stabbed at me, piercing my heart, but I refused to succumb to it.

        Every. Single. Time.

        Every time, I summoned the strength to push through my weaknesses. However, this time... This time it confronted me with an undeniable truth. 

        I’m just a person. A person who wants to be a knight. A person with no real value in this world.

        This isn’t a story. This isn’t a book about a weakling who became a hero. Someone who steered clear of their problems. 

        No.. This is just... Reality.

—

        I spent an excruciating four years in the clutches of those tormenting thoughts and burdens, all because of that fateful incident. It was on that day that I discovered the true nature of those three individuals.

        Leo, Nival, and Ren–who had been nothing but demons. And as a result of their malevolence, I suffered.

        Once I had recovered from the ordeal, I wasted no time in seeking justice. I approached the higher-ranked officials and revealed the betrayal committed by Leo, Nival, and Ren. 

        To my surprise, my claims were dismissed and brushed aside. They refused to entertain the possibility that these three could have been responsible for such treachery.

        Those despicable beings concealed their tracks with the finesse of assassins. Even when I confronted Taira, hoping for support and understanding, he too turned a blind eye to the truth.

        He actually had the audacity to suggest that my accusations stemmed from jealousy, insisting that Leo and Nival were the friendliest among the knight trainees.

        But it was all a facade, an intricately woven web of deception crafted by their hands. I found myself utterly alone, abandoned by those I had once trusted. Their actions caused others to view me in a different light, leaving me into a state of isolation.

        With my determination for justice, I faced brutal beatings by none other than Nival and Leo.

        Whenever we found ourselves alone, they would unleash their cruelty upon me, leaving no trace of their malicious intent.

        Each encounter was left to appear as a mere accident.

        During periods when training sessions were suspended for a few days, a glimmer of hope would arise, allowing me a brief respite to heal and pretend as if nothing had occurred.

        It was during those moments that their torment intensified, as if they relished in my vulnerability.

        And if I dared to retaliate, their torment grew even harsher, pushing me deeper into a dark abyss.

        For four long years, I endured the torment without anyone suspecting a thing. It was a period of loneliness, one that fueled a deep-seated hatred not only for those who tormented me but also for myself.

        Eventually, the weight of it all became too much, and I reached a breaking point.

        Regret for attempting to end my own life is an emotion I wish I could feel, but it just isn’t there. As I stood there in the deafening silence.

        “I…” I mustered out weakly. Then, a sudden sound shattered the stillness. A loud creak echoed through the empty room, followed by the hurried steps of someone approaching.

        My eyes darted towards the door, and I instinctively turned away, moving swiftly to grab my shirt. Concealing myself behind the neighboring wall, I remained motionless, listening intently.

        “Alright, let’s see..” A soft, gentle female voice filled the air, laden with weariness. It seemed as though she was writing something on a hard surface, possibly a clipboard. But then, an alarmed gasp escaped her lips.

       "W-Where did he go?!" She exclaimed with evident worry, her frantic movements indicating her search under the sheets of the bed. A wave of conflicting emotions washed over me, unsure of how to react.

        She sounds like a healer. I should probably walk out—The door swung open with a swift motion. My eyes widened in surprise as I caught sight of a black heel taking a step into the room.

        Time was running out, and I hastily slid on my white and blue spotted shirt, cursing under my breath. “Damn it.”

        Then, a leg moved inside the bathroom. "Xion?" The lady said with concern, pausing to catch her breath. As she entered completely, her eyes immediately noticed the tall shadow standing over her.

        And then, she saw me.