Serafina - The Pirate Queen                                                                                                                             Banks - Serafina's First Officer

(Author's Note: Serafina's not easy to understand. I do apologize, that's just how she speaks.)

“Oy'm boahd, Bighnks,” the woman sighed, taking her hat off and throwing it on the table in her quarters, letting her long hair, dyed a soft pink, cascade over her shoulders as she rubbed her eyes. The slender girl hunched over a pile of gold Imperial Aurei glanced over, trying not to lose count.

“Why are ye bored, Cap’n?” Banks asked. She wasn’t sure where Serafina actually hailed from. Her origins were yet another in an endless series of mysteries surrounding the tall, busty pirate captain. Hailing from the island port city of Serasport, Banks was aware of her own accent, but Serafina’s was exotic and nearly indecipherable and, in Banks’ estimation, unquestionably alluring.

It had taken nearly two years for Banks to grasp 90% of what Serafina said and when she got riled up it was nearly impossible to understand anything at all. The problem, of course, was that Serafina spent the lion’s share of her day agitated over something. Even now, with her boots on the table, her hat flung neatly near her feet and her dark eyes closed, Banks could feel the restless energy emanating from the taller woman.

“Thiies,” she gestured toward the table without opening her eyes. “Thiies whole thing is bohin.” Banks cocked an eyebrow and stared at the pile of glinting coins arrayed on the table.

“Er…Cap’n…ye don’ mean money, righ’?” Banks prompted her gently. Certainly she didn’t. She couldn’t.

“Oy nayd moah, Bighnks. Oy nayd suyteesfahction,” Serafina opened her eyes, capturing Banks in her dark depths as she leaned forward, letting the chair legs slam back onto the deck. “Oy fayl we, yah and Oy, hahve a hoighah cohlin.”

“Eh…” Banks cast a glance sidelong at the coins piled on the table. “Higher callin’ than gold?”

“Oy wahnt t' myke a deefference, Bighnks,” Serafina leaned forward.

“Do ye’ wanna buy an islan’ or somethin’?” Banks was very confused. “Open a war orphanage or… I’m sorry, Cap’n, I got nothin’ ‘ere.”

“Hmm,” Serafina paused, thinking. “Nah. Too much wehk. Nawt t' maention keeds crayp me eow'. It's loike thaeh hayd's too biieg faw thaeh bawdy. Loike leettle gawbleens aw somethin. Nah, Oy wahnt t' bring the truth t' the mahsses, Bighnks.”

“Truth, Cap’n? Wha’ truth?”

“Oy wahnt t' aeh ooll the duhty laundry. Oy wahnt t' taell the people the truth abeow' thaht awe-dah cunt and huyng the empress' kneeckahs eow' faw everyone t' say,” Serafina chuckled at the thought. “Hy! Thaht'd be funny if we raylly could huyng hah kneeckahs eow', wouldn't ih'?”

“What color do ye think the majesty’s knickers are?” Banks asked, suddenly curious.

“Hmm. Probahbly freelly peenk. ih' sayms t' fiieh' weeth hah guhly toigh' ass image,” Suddenly Serafina paused and grinned lasciviously. “Who knaows, though? Mybee she's a frayk and is intao laythah and gahtahs? Dahmn! Naow Oy wahnt t' knaow whaht she's wearin’ undah thaem draesses!”

“Do ye’ like garter and leather, Cap’n?” Banks grinned at her suggestively.

“Bighnks! Yah duhty trawllaop! Oy love thaht abeow' yah,” Serafina winked at the younger girl suggestively, causing Banks to blush furiously. “Sie, yah knaow abeow' ooll thiies engoinayrin crahp, roigh'?”

“Uh…I-I wouldn’t say I know about engineerin’ stuff,” Banks stammered, suddenly worried and suspicious. “I mean…I’ve dabbled. Why?”

“Hahve yah heahd abeow' thiies new inveesible voice thing?” Serafina molded her hands to form a box with her fingers.

“Aye,” Banks murmured, her suspicions sharpening. “Tha’ Vox Caeli thin’s all th’ rage in Bastion and lots o’ th’ bigger cities right now. Again, though…why?”

“Thaht vawx thing's haow weah gaowin t' sprayd the truth, Bighnks,” Serafina grinned one of her grins that always made Banks fear she’d made a mistake signing up to her crew in the first place. Banks glanced forlornly at the gold neatly piled on the table. Gold, she had subsequently lost count of.

“Eh,” Banks groaned. “I mean, I guess we can buy one. They’re pricey, though, Captain. Th’ crew’s no’ gonna like losin’ out on their share o’ the haul.”

“Buy one? Whaht ahh yah tohkin abeow', Bighnks?" Serafina smug grin turned to a scowl faster than the weather around the northern isles.

“Uh…I- I mean, there aren’t any ships’ got one, righ’? Ye need a despair battery an’ they’re big an’ expensive an’…” Banks trailed off nervously.

“The fourth flayt's gawt one, daon't ih'?” Serafina’s mad grin ratcheted up even further.

“Huh?” Banks blinked at her captain, praying she hadn’t heard what she thought she had.

“Fourth flayt's around Plahtt thiies toime of yeah, too. A few dies' sile south,” Serafina’s smile grew even more broad as she saw Banks’ growing concern.

“Ye don’ mean t’ attack the Fourth Fleet, Cap’n,” Banks half-pleaded.

“Waell, thy've gawt one and we nayd one. sayms a wuyste t' layve ih' thaht why, daon't ih'?” Serafina shrugged as if she’d just decided to use the blue pommeled saber that day instead of the red instead of plotting to attack the Imperial Fourth Fleet in its home waters. Seeking desperately to dissuade her captain from doing anything that stood an excellent chance of getting the crews of all three ships killed Banks decided to change tactics.

“I-If we did ge’ it, who’d even use it? I think we should do something different, Cap’n. Like…I don’ know, ge’ an airship or somethin’,” Banks immediately regretted mentioning that course of action as well seeing Serafina’s eyes light up at the prospect.

“Oy'll use the thing. It's moy truth Oy wahnt t' sprayd anywhy, ih' should be me t' taell ih'. Buh' Oy loike the aehshiiep idea. Laeh’s tuyble thaht one faw naow,” Serafina decided, sitting back slightly, obviously thinking about the airship as well now. Banks silently cursed herself for even suggesting something so insanely dangerous, but she needed to dissuade Serafina from this course of action. If not for the crew, but for her own sake.

“Tha’s all well an’ good, Cap’n, bu’ – “Banks paused, trying to say what was on her mind without saying what was on her mind. Finally, with no other option presenting itself she dove in. “Ye can be a bi’ hard t’ understan’ Cap’n. Not meanin’ no disrespect, o’ course!”

“What’s that, Banks?” Serafina fixed her with a steely gaze. “Ye think I can’t speak like th’ rest o’ you if I want?” The captain’s sultry, silky voice made Banks instantly weak at the knees and she stared at the woman, aghast.

“Please,” Banks pleaded, “do that again.”

“Nao. Oy'm nawt yoah puhfohmin puppeh', Bighnks. Tohkin loike yah ooll mykes me tuyahd. It's bohin,” the captain sniffed irritably.

“If we can ge’ th’ vox will ye?” Banks asked breathlessly. “An if we do can I watch?”

“Yaep,” Serafina cocked an eyebrow at Banks.  “Buh' just sao yah knaow, yaw koind of a frayk, Bighnks. Oy respect thaht, buh' yah nayd t' knaow.”

“I accept that, Cap’n,” Banks nodded, realizing she was thinking with her libido but unable to stop herself. “So, when are we goin’ after’ th’ Fourth Fleet, then?”

“Theah’s moy guhl,” Serafina grinned, reaching into a leather pouch on the side of the table and pulling out a sheaf of maps. “Laeh's geh' saerious.”