The steak was chewy and bland, and yet that wasn’t what upset Chris the most that night. It didn’t even crack the top three. His father, who he realized he hated, sat on his left, begrudgingly poking at the tough cut of meat they were supposed to be enjoying. Maybe if nobody talked, and nobody looked at him, then he could indulge in the luxury of disliking his dinner.

“Honey, if you ate more you might not be so scrawny!” It was his mother, who he also hated. She was pointing at his plate from the other side of the table, trying to get him to eat the unseasoned rubber she had served him. His father nodded along, of course.

He wished he could keep the hate he felt for them in that moment, as it never seemed to last more than a few minutes. All he wanted was to have one cathartic moment of rebellion. To hate them long enough to be free from their influence and finally live his own life. In truth, he loved them enough to go along with every decision they made for him growing up. From age zero to twenty-two, he obeyed them without a hint of resistance. If he didn’t, he feared he would lose them. He wasn’t even living with them anymore and they still had a strong say in his life. For example, they could make him come to dinner every couple of weeks and eat a terrible steak.

Sitting next to his mother was the only person who Chris didn’t have to wonder if he hated: Jackie. Long soft hair, tasteful makeup. Chris wasn’t a fan and neither was she. But it’s what his parents would be happiest with, so she went along with it for his sake.

As the dinner dragged on, Chris prayed that the conversation would stay light. History said it was impossible but you never know. Jackie was already upset with him, she made that clear before they left. If his parents could take a day off from pestering him then at least he could deal with her easier.

Alas, no such luck existed.

“Now I know we talked about this last week,” his father said. His voice was rough from a youth filled with smoking and a fatherhood filled with screaming. “But you two have been engaged for how long now? And you still don’t have a wedding date set?”

“It really is shameful,” his mother followed with. Her voice no longer the soothing melody Chris remembered from childhood. Instead it was sharp, focused, and desperate for authority. “With your father and I, we got married two months after he proposed.” Her eyes flicked to Jackie.

There it was. The very topic Chris had hoped would be avoided. He wasn’t surprised, more defeated by their endless pursuit to make him unhappy.

It was a wonder why his parents even wanted them to get married. They had never shown anything but contempt for Jackie, no matter how much Chris vouched for her. Every quality she had, they despised.

Though after enough time they gave in and started to push for marriage, then after the engagement they pushed for a date, and the second they were married Chris knew they would push for grandchildren. If Chris had never met Jackie, he might have given them all of that without putting up a fight. She saved him from that. That’s why he loved her.

What he didn’t love was how Jackie played along with them.

She smirked at Chris, which was never a good sign. “I’ve been trying to get him to pick a date! But he’s such a pussy about it.”

“Language!” Chris’ mother shouted.

“Right, sorry.” Jackie’s smirk only got stronger as she apologized.

Chris’ father grumbled some more as he choked down his meal. “You can’t let your woman talk like that, son. Is that really how you want the future mother of your children to sound?”

“She can speak however she likes,” Chris said. Defending his partner was the only time he could go against his parents’ wishes. The way they talked about their relationship sickened him enough to ignore their control. He couldn’t even stop his next sentence from slipping out. “Jackie doesn’t even want to be a mom, so your point doesn’t make any sense.”

It was bound to cause more arguing, he knew that. But that had already started, so what was a little more chaos to help the food go down easier? A peaceful dinner wouldn’t let him get home and change any sooner.

Before his parents could yell at him, Jackie piped up. “Actually, I’d love to have kids!” Her gaze pierced into Chris. “I’ve always wanted a big family.”

His mother sighed, releasing the yell she was about to unleash on them. “Honestly, do you say things like that just to upset us?” she asked. “How have you been together for two years without having a talk about children? Your generation is so lost…”

Chris sighed. They had talked about having kids before. Jackie brought it up a lot recently, and he loved the idea too. But what he said wasn’t a lie. Jackie had no intent of being a mother. She had said multiple times the idea sickened her.

To his left, his father nodded along. “A big family would be great,” he said between gulps of beer. “With the world the way it is, we need lots of strong kids to raise with the right values. It’s the only way forward, if you ask me.”

“Sorry,” Chris said. “It will happen eventually, I promise.”

They seemed satisfied for the time being, but he knew they wouldn’t be happy when he fulfilled that promise.

 

***

 

After what Chris wagered was the longest bus ride ever, he and Jackie came home to their dark apartment. The moment the front door closed, their relationship shifted. Jackie looked at him with a strange combination of lust and nausea. She stood a little straighter, had more conviction in her stare.

Meanwhile, Chris slouched even more than at dinner. He couldn’t even find the strength to look Jackie in the eye. Though he knew it would be much harder to discuss once they changed. He had to get their fight out of the way quickly.

“So, how was your last night of seeing your parents like this?” Jackie asked. Despite being a few inches shorter than him, Chris felt that she towered over him.

“Well, actually,” Chris stammered. “Maybe we should go another week like this… Or two.” He braced himself for the inevitable.

“Of course,” Jackie said. “I knew you wouldn’t have the guts to follow through with your promise.” Her words stung into Chris’ chest. “You said this would be the last night! Don’t you remember that?”

Chris nodded, his eyes glued to the floor. “I just think I should try and get them to change their views a bit first.”

“How?” Jackie asked. “You barely stand up to them. Whenever you try and argue back you give up within five minutes! He’s been able to make it permanent for months now. I don’t want to keep living like this!” She took a deep breath when she realized Chris was tearing up. “Did you at least remember to plug the zapper in before we left?”

After a sniffle, Chris said, “Yeah, it’s on the nightstand.”

“Good.” Jackie walked up to him and held his hands. “I know this is hard for you, but it’s going to be for our future, okay?”

“You’re right,” he whispered.

“I’ll give you another two weeks, but that’s final.” She squeezed his hands and planted a kiss on his lips. “You do owe me some changes though. Next time we’re at the lab.” She looked at his chest. “If you want to drag this out then I’m giving you a little more to play with, got it?”

Chris was relieved. “Thank you! Yes, two weeks will be plenty.”

Jackie seemed satisfied. She let go of his hands and walked toward the bedroom.

“Now come here!” She said, “I’m sick of you looking like that, let’s change.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Chris followed her to the bedroom where he could finally be rid of everything weighing him down.

Jackie picked up the zapper, to Chris’ delight. He remembered being scared of it at one point, whereas now he depended on it to stay sane. It did look intimidating at first glance. A lopsided hand mixer with a fat cube of metal where the beaters should be. And a panel of lights on the front by the button, telling them when it had enough power to do its job.

Chris knew the routine. He removed his stuffy dress shirt and pants. Jackie continued to look at him with revulsion. If she hadn’t covered the mirrors before they last reverted, Chris would have seen himself the same way.

“Sit down,” Jackie ordered. “You nearly passed out last time and I don’t want your pretty face to get bruised up.”

“Right, sorry.” Chris blushed and obeyed.

He sat at the edge of the bed, making sure the metal in his shoulder was on full display. They both had one. A small, exposed metal panel in their upper arm. Getting it implanted was the second scariest moment of Chris’ life, only losing to the first time he used the zapper. It amused him how both of those events led to him loving the life he currently had. And he never would have tried if it wasn’t for Jackie. That’s why he loved her.

The distinct feel of metal on metal excited Chris. Jackie had placed the metal cube of the zapper against his metal chip. She was never one to wait. With no more than a huff, she clicked the button.

Immediately, a familiar warmth spread through Chris. It started in his shoulder and crept to every inch of his being. Jackie had already pulled the zapper away before it reached his fingertips.

Once everything was warm and tingly, the feeling faded, and Chris relaxed. He could finally be Anne again. No, he was always Anne, or Annette as Jackie preferred. Anne dreamt as herself, thought as herself, and pictured the future as herself. It was who she was. Chris was the facade; Anne was real.

She still looked like Chris for the time being, as painful as it was. That’s why it was easier to lay on the bed with her eyes closed while the next hour passed by.

But she couldn’t. It was Jackie’s turn. Technically one could use the zapper on themselves, though it was unsafe and they didn’t like to risk it.

Anne opened her eyes and grabbed the zapper. Jackie had taken her own clothes off and was waiting in her underwear.

“Hurry up,” Jackie said. Her voice was less demanding than before but Anne knew it would come back once he arrived.

The zapper was still warm from its first use. While she had learned to love what it could do, wielding the device was a different story. It used such a high voltage that being off the mark by only an inch could leave someone with severe burns or worse. Nothing was scarier to Anne than losing Jackie, especially by her own hand. Despite the dangers of it, she was never scared when Jackie was holding the zapper.

Anne firmed her grip on it. If she waited too long then her own changes might start to mess with her ability to use it safely. She lightly touched the metal cube to Jackie’s chip, making sure that it wasn’t making contact with any of her skin. Finally confident she wouldn’t cause any harm, she pressed the button.

It let out a large crackling sound before whirring back to rest. It always did that, Anne had just learned to tune it out when she was the one being zapped. That warm relief that overtook her drowned out everything else in the moment. She imagined that’s how Jackie was feeling right then as well.

Anne set the zapper back on the nightstand. Some strands of dark hair were creeping into her vision, a few of them lightening and turning blonde. At last, she could relax and wait for everything to be done. Jackie, who was soon to become Jacob, was already lying on the bed.

They were on their way back to normal. For the next ten days they wouldn’t have to see Chris or Jackie again. Anne and Jacob would be free to live how they had dreamt for years.

Anne joined Jacob on the bed, closing her eyes once more. Part of her couldn’t stop feeling guilty. They didn’t have to keep living as they were. A way to get out of the cycle was offered to them on a silver platter, which Anne kept delaying. The doctor could let them have their bodies permanently. No more chips, no more zapper, no more having to revert back every week and a half. Their dream, being held back all because Anne was afraid of losing her parents.

Jacob struggled the most with his reversion. He loved being a man so much, it was comparable to torture to force him into a situation where he had to keep becoming a woman. Yet he kept doing it. Anne knew there could be no more extensions.

Not only would Jacob lose it, Anne herself was finding it hard to live as Chris. It drained her more and more each time her parents told her she would make a good husband some day. Each time she caught her reflection in a mirror as someone who she wasn’t, or heard herself speak in a deep voice, a part of her grew weaker.

If that wasn’t bad enough, it had become a logistical nightmare as well. They had jobs, careers, as their true selves. Anne at a retail store and Jacob doing law school and working part-time at a firm. Any time they needed to stay reverted for dinner with her parents, it took lots of planning to make everything line up. Anne was running out of sick days and Jacob only ever moped in their room when he was stuck as Jackie.

Things had to change. Anne didn’t know if she could do it for her own sake. Jacob, though, she could do it for. If she couldn’t make Jacob happy she didn’t know if she even wanted to live. In two weeks, Anne’s parents would see Chris for the last time.

As Anne struggled with her guilt, her body continued to change. Even with her eyes closed, she could tell she was shorter. Hair was tickling her shoulders and neck, and she expected it had completely changed color by that point.

When the changes happened, she always tried to ignore them. As much as she wanted to be in the body that was appearing, the feeling of bones and organs subtly moving around and reassembling themselves made her uneasy. Even though the doctor explained the science that was happening, it was a lot of jargon. She had a new, second set of DNA inside of her, and using the zapper made it express itself. That much she could follow. Everything beyond that was lost on her.

Instead of focusing on the weirdness happening in her body, or any of the underground science that had been explained to her, she thought about the life she could have if she stopped being a coward.

Jacob and Anne, husband and wife. She pictured their wedding day and how happy they would be. She allowed herself to imagine her parents there, not upset with her choices. She fantasized about life after they were married. Their kids, what they would be named, what they would look like. The intricate dances she would learn and teach to her own children some day. How none of that would come true if she remained as Chris.

A dream of ballet came to her; it had been nearly a year since she last thought of it. Usually allowing herself that vision would upset her. Her youth was passing each day and a chance to train as a ballerina had all but slipped away.

She drifted off to sleep.

 

***

 

When she woke up, Anne was pleased. Jacob’s arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her close and making her feel at ease. Enough time had passed that she was sure the changes were finished. The sound of her fiancé’s slow, deep breathing confirmed it. Everything was back to how it was supposed to be.

She opened her eyes enough to see Jacob in the light of the bedside lamp they left on. His body was much more muscular than Chris’ had ever been, which he made good use of. On his pillow, a mess of hair that had shed was only being held together by a single hair tie he had the foresight to put on as Jackie. Only a short, dark mop of hair remained on Jacob’s head, that he would style in the morning to be well-kept and professional.

Anne couldn’t resist running a hand through his hair and then across his chest. She loved how much he appreciated being a man. Things Chris had never figured out how to do came so naturally to him, most of all appreciating the body he had.

Her own changes were sinking in as well. Most obvious was height. Instead of being taller than him, she was now a good five inches shorter. The hand she used to pet her fiance was no longer veiny and red, but thin and pale. New weight was pressing into her tank top, causing a bit of discomfort.

That was one aspect she hadn’t fully adjusted to. Originally she had planned to have smaller breasts. A size suitable for staying dainty, light, and elegant. If Jacob hadn’t insisted otherwise then she would have stuck to it. She didn’t mind it though. He said it made her more attractive to him, and she wanted to keep him satisfied. After all, she was forcing him into an awful situation. Anne thought the least she could do was deal with some minor changes to make up for being a coward.

“Good morning, Annette,” Jacob said. He pulled her in tighter and kissed her forehead. “You’re so beautiful.”

Anne couldn’t help but smile. He called her beautiful, something she never thought would apply to her. Even after years, the effect never wore off. Her name was something they could work on later.

“It’s one in the morning,” she said. “You need to sleep more or you’ll be too tired for work.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep the way I am now.” Jacob used his other hand to play with a strand of her hair. His eyes gazed into hers, then toward her chest.

Anne was weak to his stare. Whenever they locked eyes, she remembered everything he had done for her since they met. How much he had improved her life. How much confidence he had blessed her with.

She also remembered how powerful he was as Jacob. It sometimes felt like he could do anything. An invincible force who could make the world bow to him. And he wanted her at his side? How could she ever say no to him?

As his hands wandered her body, grabbing whatever they saw fit, Anne couldn’t help but feel the urge to be responsible. She wanted him to be successful and that meant making hard choices.

“You really need to sleep!” Anne pushed at his chest to make some distance between them. “Didn’t you say you had an important meeting tomorrow? If you’re too tired you might blow this opportunity.”

Jacob grumbled. He set his hands over hers, pulling them away. “Think of how poorly I’ll do if I’m all distracted thinking about you.” His legs started shifting. “Didn’t you hear what your dad was saying earlier about family values? You should want to do this for me.”

Anne had to avert her eyes from his, afraid that making eye contact would ruin any confidence she had in convincing him. She spoke softly, “Of course I want to, I just think it would be smart to–”

“Do you want to have sex or not?” Jacob said. His voice was running out of patience.

She recalled her father’s words, telling her long ago that men needed to make the decisions for the family. That his word was final.

“Yes, sorry,” she said. “I’m sure you’ll do great tomorrow no matter what.”

Jacob didn’t waste any time positioning himself over her. She knew to roll over on her back when he did that. He took her hands, pinning them to the bed next to her.

“Thank you,” he said in her ear. “You’re so amazing to me.”

Anne blushed. She took pride in the fact she was doing so much to make him happy. Paying off the endless debt she owed him.

In between kissing her neck, Jacob whispered, “If I do get that promotion, I promise I’ll get us such a nice house. Perfect for raising our family. You won’t have to work ever again.”

Visions of the perfect life he promised swirled in her head. Each kiss he gave granted a new gift.

“The second we make this permanent I want to knock you up,” he said, moving his kisses toward her chest. He let go of her hands and grabbed the base of her tank top, ready to pull it off as he had hundreds of times before.

Anne flinched. “Well, maybe a little time to settle in would be smart. I don’t want to become a stay at home mom right away.”

Jacob stopped what he was doing. “What do you mean? We want a big family, that’s our dream. Why not get started right away?”

“Right, I know,” Anne said. She did her best to not stammer. “I just think… Well you know, it’s not a good look if I’m pregnant at the wedding. My parents would freak out.”

He sighed, then relented. “You’re right. I guess we’ll have to get married right away, then.”

Anne smiled and nodded. They would have time to talk about her dreams some more after he got promoted. Their family would be wonderful and amazing but she had a few things she wanted to do in life before that. Having the body and freedom she always wanted meant she could actually achieve them.

While Jacob undressed her and began fondling her, she realized how lucky she was to have met someone so understanding. It felt as if he knew her path to happiness more than she did, and he never complained about guiding her along it. That’s why she loved him.