Chapter Thirteen

-Recuperation

I had never been the center of attention. At least, not the kind where eyes held any semblance of respect or admiration. The murmurings around me were loud enough to intrude upon my thoughts, and although my cheeks burned from the weight of so many stares.

People were everywhere. Some sitting huddled in groups, others pacing restlessly, their eyes red and faces drained of color. Children clung to their parents, expressions a blend of curiosity and anxiety. And then there were those whose eyes locked onto me. The sweat-soaked, bloody boy, limping slightly with each step.

“Look,” I heard a whisper, “It’s them. The ones who came in from the mall.”

I forced my eyes down, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other as Lily stepped between their gazes and my side-eye. Ji-woo's steps quickened, making it evident that she noticed the growing attention. I could almost hear her internal sigh. I appreciated that – her not saying anything, trying to alleviate the awkwardness.

Suddenly, I was all too aware of how awful I looked at that moment. I choked back the anxiety crawling up my throat and just focused on walking as people looked at the sweat soaked, bloody teens in ripped clothes. As we passed, I heard some whispers begin, and I forced myself to try to ignore them. One foot in front of the other, I hurried after Ji-woo, hoping the showers weren’t that far.

Nevertheless, some of the louder and less considerate people’s whispers came through.

“Did you see them come in earlier? Who are they?”

“Damn, look at them. Must've been right in the thick of it when the Usurpation began.”

“The guy looks haunted, like he's going to lash out at someone at any moment,” one whispered to their neighbor, not realizing or caring that I could hear.

“I can’t even imagine. Look at their clothes, drenched in blood… it’s terrifying.”

“Wonder if they really did it. Surviving out there and making it here in one piece?”

“Idiot, of course they came from outside the shelter! How else would they get hurt like that?”

“No way man, you go ask them how they did it. That officer looks like she’s ready to bite my head off.”

“Man, that girl's probably the one who took charge,” someone said with a snicker. “Look at her, sturdy as hell. Bet she dragged him along and saved the kid.”

Lily shot a quick, annoyed glance in the direction of the comment, her jaw tightening.

“Seems like it’s the other way around,” someone else whispered, defending me, but their words only made my anxiety spike. “Heard the boy saved them both.”

Another voice chimed in, dripping with skepticism, “Sure, right. With what, his skin and bones? Probably just got lucky.”

We continued to walk, and I could feel my face burning with embarrassment. I felt like a spectacle, like a zoo animal on display, and my initial fears of drawing attention had been realized. I tried to keep my head down, but my peripheral vision caught glimpses of faces filled with varying degrees of pity, curiosity, admiration, and even condescending grins.

Ji-woo’s pace seemed to quicken even more, as if she could feel the tension. “Almost there,” she muttered under her breath, mostly to herself but loud enough for Lily and me to hear. We reached a corridor with doors on either side. “Washrooms and showers,” Ji-woo announced.

Stopping in front of one door, she swiped a card and the door clicked open. “Ladies first,” she said, nodding to Lily.

“Thank you,” Lily murmured, giving Ji-woo a grateful half-bow. Then, she flashed me one of her sunny, mischievous smiles before stepping inside.

Ji-woo then gestured for me to follow her a few doors down. “Here,” she said, opening another door marked for ‘Gentlemen’. “You can use this one. And… I’m sorry about that. People can be real idiots.”

I looked up nervously and shrugged, and the smile fell from her face.

“Well, why don’t you go take a shower too. I’ll get somebody to keep people from ‘wandering’ into these shower rooms while I find you some clothes to wear. There’s already towels and soap in the stalls.”

Ignoring the spike of pain that came with her assessment, I bobbed my head in agreement.

As I stepped in, she added softly, “Take your time, Maito. You’ve been through a lot. And remember, ignore the gossip. People talk, but at the end of the day, you know what you did and who you are. Anyway, I’ll be back in a bit.”

With those words, Ji-woo left me alone in the row of showers.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. A bloody, disheveled face stared back. Deep bruises, matted hair, tired eyes. I knew I looked like a wreck, but for the first time in a long while, I felt something different: a flicker of pride.

I had survived. With Lily’s help and my newfound abilities, I had made it through an Usurpation.

I sighed, turning to drop my backpack on a bench underneath an alcove.

[If it is alright with you,] Helios spoke. [Perhaps you could remanifest me.]

“Why?” I thought with a frown.

[Even though I have already promised privacy while you adjust to me being within your head, the extra degree of separation might help you feel it more. I’d also like to explore the shelter and look into some things after you are finished. Until then, I can keep watch on your backpack.]

“Oh… alright.” I thought about it for a second. “Sorry. I know you’re not exactly human and don’t even care about this kind of thing, but…”

[But this is all still incredibly new, and it will take time to adjust how you feel as well as think about our partnership,] Helios finished, his voice soothing. [I assure you, no offense is taken. Besides, being separated when you are not commencing your Magical Guardian duties gives me a chance to observe other humans or even interact with other Familiars myself. Many Guardians operate the same way, and it serves as a good way to gather additional information without revealing yourself to others.]

As Helios finished speaking, I felt the familiar sensation of warmth condensing and swirling around in my chest before a tendril reached out to my heart. Bracing myself, I let it touch, and was rewarded with the same brief flair of heat that left a cold emptiness behind.

This time I was prepared for the wave of fatigue that washed through me, but I felt myself let out an involuntary gasp as it piled on top of all my previous exhaustion. I blinked, and in the span of that microsecond, Helios was suddenly sitting on the little bench next to my backpack. He flared his plumes and then scampered out, underneath the curtain.

[I’ll stay out here and only keep an eye on your backpack when Ji-woo returns with your clothes.]

“Thanks,” I thought back. Then, with a sigh, I began pulling off my clothes.

The damage wasn’t too bad, all things considered. The only clean hit I had taken through the entire ordeal was the stinger to my leg. I felt a surge of guilt, thinking about Lily and the risks she had taken to save me. If it weren’t for her, I would have probably died at least three times over. The first Anathema we'd encountered. The ghoul rushing at me after I'd gotten hit by the stinger. Then, the three tentacled gorilla monsters. I didn't see any universe where I could have made it through those encounters alone.

I began to unbutton my gakuran, feeling the weight of what had just happened start to settle in. The Usurpation had been brutal—bloody, vicious, and exhausting. But the worst part wasn't the physical toll it had taken. No, that would have been easy to manage with a shower and some new clothes. It was the emotional rollercoaster that was going to be harder to shake off.

I made a friend for the first time in my life. And the thought of losing her was almost too much to bear. Lily had saved my life, and I was determined to do everything in my power to repay her. I frowned at the part over my calf where Officer Oh had cut off my pants, and the ichor that had seeped into my hoodie and gakuran from all the monsters I had killed today. It was going to cost quite a bit to replace the trousers, but I was glad the rest of my clothes seemed to be salvageable.

I let out a frustrated sigh, and then eyed the bandages wrapped around my left forearm. I found myself staring at the wounds that criss crossed my skin. I closed my eyes, not wanting to remember why they were there.

I shook my head, trying to dispel any thoughts that would drag me down. I finished stripping off my clothes and stepped into the nearest shower stall, turning on the water as hot as it could go. Glancing around, I noted the locations of the small washcloth and soap dispensers in the shower, as well as the towels hanging in the changing room while I waited. After I was sure the water was just short of burning me, I stepped in and closed the curtain behind me.

As the water pounded against my skin, I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh, feeling the muscles in my body finally begin to relax. I let the hot water run over me, washing away the blood and sweat of the Usurpation. For a moment, I let myself forget everything that had happened and simply enjoy the sensation of the water running over me.

Showers had always been my personal sanctuary. It was the one place where I could be alone with my thoughts and cleanse myself both physically and mentally. A place where I could let my mind wander and escape from the world for a little while.

But even in this moment of peace, my thoughts kept creeping back to the events of the day and Lily. I couldn't shake the image of her luring the Anathema away from me, and the moment of sheer panic as I'd watched her nearly get torn apart by its claws. If I hadn't gotten lucky with my shot, she would have died.

Almost an hour and a half. It felt like we'd been out there so much longer than that. Every moment of sneaking, planning and fighting, every second a struggle against the fear screaming at the back of my mind…

Something bubbled deep in my chest and I found myself trembling, not from the cold but from pure, unbridled emotions. Pride for Lily's courage, admiration for her strength, sorrow over what she had gone through all to save me… it all came welling up like a swell of water. I remembered the sight of her almost bleeding out on the ground, and I clenched my fists in frustration.

My hands balled into fists as tears streamed down my face, mixing with the shower water. Katie was the closest thing I had to a friend before today. She'd left me without anything to eat at the food court, which was... normal for me. When Lily had shown up behind me with that bag of burgers, it was the first time in my life that someone had cared enough to give me something without expecting anything in return. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to me.

Lily had shown me kindness, and then we'd been caught in an Usurpation. She had risked her life to save me. I couldn't believe that someone cared enough to do that. It had been so long since anyone had shown me any kind of love or affection.

I sank to my knees in the shower, letting the water rush over me as I cried. My mind raced with thoughts of how I could repay her, how I could make it up to her. But no matter what I came up with, it always felt inadequate.

The water drenched my hair, plastering it to my face as I shook with emotion. I didn't care who saw me. I didn't care about anything except the fact that I had found someone who cared about me for the first time in my life.

I couldn't lose her. She was my only friend. I didn't want to imagine what would happen to me if she were gone.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, I managed to pull myself together. I grabbed at the washcloth and put myself to work scrubbing. My skin was caked with dried blood starting at my leg where I had been stung. I worked my way up my body, using the cloth to aggressively scrub away the dirt and grime that had accumulated throughout the day. The hot water continued to pour over me, feeling like it was cleansing my soul as well as my body.

[Ji-woo is coming in with… a very large bag,] Helios told me just as I was finishing up scrubbing my hair.

“Hey Maito, it’s me,” Ji-woo called out a moment later. “I got a bunch of clothes for you to choose from because I wasn’t really sure what might fit. I’m just going to pop in for a second to set these down if that’s okay.”

“Alright,” I called back, huddling into myself slightly as I watched the curtain.

I heard the outer one open and after a handful of seconds, it closed again.

“There,” she said. “There’s an extra bag in there for your dirty ones. I’ll be waiting outside for you, but feel free to take your time.”

“Okay… Thank you,” I replied, quickly adding the last part.

“All in a day’s work,” she called back, and I could practically hear the wry grin on her face.

I listened to her leave, then let myself unfurl and continue scouring away the filth.

By the time I was finished, I was starting to get wrinkled. Worse, the exhaustion had set in fully, giving my body all the strength of jelly and mind all the clarity of cotton. It was all I could do to remain standing without swaying back and forth. Although my muscles weren’t aching, my legs felt dangerously wobbly. Worse, I could feel my eyes threatening to just stay closed after every blink.

With a sigh, I redid my hair and body with soap one last time before I turned off the shower, stepped out, and started drying myself. The bag sitting next to my backpack was a large black trash bag, and judging by its size, it was absolutely filled with clothes. I unwrapped it to find a small mountain, and started picking through my selection. I could tell at a glance most of the clothes were too big for me, which wasn’t a surprise considering I frequented the kids section to find things properly my, ah, prestigious size.

It took me a while to find things my size, but I ended up with some comfy sweatpants and a loose-fitting long sleeve t-shirt. The clothes were a little big on me, but that just meant they’d be more comfortable to wear. I set aside a black hoodie that resembled my own on the counter, and stared at the soaking bandages wrapped around the self-inflicted wounds of my left forearm for a second.

I finished drying off and carefully removed the bandages, wincing slightly as the fabric clung to the still-tender wounds. I tossed the bandages into the extra bag, zipping it shut before starting to dress. The sweatpants were comfortable, and the shirt was soft against my skin. I slipped on the hoodie, feeling its warmth wrap around me like a comforting hug.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror — my eyes were red and puffy, evidence of the tears I'd shed a few minutes ago. Droplets of water still clung to my hair, and my skin was slightly flushed from the hot shower. I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to smooth it down as best I could. I put on my headband and eyepatch almost as an afterthought.

With that sorted, I unfurled the extra black trash bag I had found with the clothes. A moment later I had all my bloody clothes wrapped up including the shirt and bandages from my backpack. I thought about it for a moment, then decided to store my shoes in their place. I shouldered the pack afterward, then frowned as I held the closed bag of dirty clothes. I looked from the bag of extra clothes to the used towels, wondering how I was supposed to carry it all.

After a moment of hesitation, I decided to just ask Ji-woo what to do, and I left the shower stall.

Helios stood on a sink, and his head tilted to the side as he took in my appearance.

[Ji-woo didn’t so much as give your backpack a second glance when she put your clothes inside,] Helios noted cheerfully. [Now, if you would be okay with the idea, I’d like to take a look around the shelter. I won’t move out of telepathy range, and you can call me back before you go to sleep to continue guarding you. It seems it will take Lily a bit longer to finish cleaning her wounds and get sorted.]

I gave Helios a grateful nod, then headed outside.

To my surprise, there was barely anybody in the hallway. Maybe it had something to do with the way Ji-woo was leaning against the wall, scowling at the various doors. The second she noticed me, her expression shifted worriedly as she blinked, before it quickly changed back to a smile.

From underneath her arm, she pulled out a folded blanket, and with a deft motion, unfurled it and draped it around my shoulders.

“Here,” she said, gently taking the trash bag from me. “I’ll trade you.”

“Um…” I started shifting my backpack to hold in front of me along with the blanket’s sides. “What should I do about the towels and clothes…?”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, adjusting the blanket about me. “I’ll take care of it later. Let’s get you settled down for now.”

She started walking and I followed, pulling the blanket tighter around me while I cradled my backpack with my arms. A few people wandered the halls or else happened to be leaving one room for another, and they almost all stopped to stare. I turned my eyes to stare at the floor, and was slightly surprised when we took a hallway turn to the right.

“Um, isn’t this-”

“The admin wing, yeah,” Ji-woo interrupted with a shrug. “I got permission to set you and Lily up in the guard barracks. I figured that way you two can keep an eye out for each other, and you won't have to deal with people. I figured you might get some privacy to rest. Unless you would like to go see Brian first?”

“No, no, this is fine,” I mumbled, still feeling embarrassed by all the stares.

I really didn't want Lily to see me with red, puffy eyes and I touched the bandages underneath my sleeve gingerly. I didn't want her or anyone else to worry about me, especially since I didn't have any good excuses for my breakdown in the shower.

"Umm... if anything, Lily and I barely know each other, so I don't know if it's a good idea for her to see me like this," I added as an afterthought. "I'm also not too good with kids, anyway. I’ll let Brian get his alone time."

"I understand," Ji-woo said with a nod. "But don't worry too much about it. Lily's been through her own fair share of trauma in this ordeal, so she'll understand if you need some space. Also… I know it must have been tough, but the two of you managed. And that's more than most people could have done in that situation. I'll make sure to keep an eye on the both of you."

The intensity behind her words made me uncomfortable, so I just gave a little shrug and looked back to the floor. She turned away a moment later and continued walking.

We turned into another room after another minute of walking. It was fairly empty, but along either side were beds built into the walls, turning them into little alcoves with curtains that could be drawn across them. At the far end was what looked like a small kitchen where I saw one of the other officers standing in front of a stove. He had a young looking face with freckles and sandy blond hair. He gave me a smile and nod, before turning to Ji-woo.

“Should be ready to go,” he said, turning off one of the burners. “Kept them warm but not too hot.”

“Thanks, Marco,” Ji-woo responded, giving him a grateful smile. “Ah, Maito, go ahead and get settled on a bunk. I’ll be right with you.”

She walked over to the oven, and I considered my options before heading to a bunk in the middle of the room, far enough away that I wouldn’t be bothered by anyone entering or next to people in the kitchen area. I pushed my backpack into the far corner of the bunk next to the pillow, shuffled the blanket around me a little tighter, then sat down. I was surprised to find how soft the mattress felt.

“I’ll be right back,” Marco stated with a smile.

I looked up as the officer left, and he gave me a little nod as he passed. Ji-woo was right behind him holding a bowl with steam coming off it and a spoon. She gave me a small smile and reached to the wall next to the bunk, giving it a gentle push. A rectangular section popped out, and she pulled it out before flipping it horizontal, turning it into a small bedside table.

“Here,” she said, setting down the bowl. “I wasn’t sure if you would be hungry, so I just made some tomato soup. Unless you want something else…?”

“No,” I blinked in surprise. “No, that's… good. Thank you.”

I grabbed the bowl and spoon quickly. Considering I had only eaten an hour and a half ago, and it had been a big meal, I wasn’t feeling especially hungry. Between the anxiety, tension, and exhaustion, I wouldn’t have normally even thought of eating.

But I also wasn’t about to turn down free food.

I blew gently on a spoonful of the red liquid before I started digging in. Ji-woo seemed satisfied and went back to the kitchen while I focused on the soup. I couldn’t recall ever having it before, but I found myself enjoying its slightly acidic sweetness. The tanginess got to be a little much without anything to break it up, but I could see how pairing it with something else could work well.

Once the first spoonful was in me, I found myself digging into the bowl with focus. By the time Ji-woo returned from the kitchen with a coffee cup in her hand, I had already managed to empty the bowl. She blinked in surprise, and I felt my cheeks color. I hadn’t thought I was that hungry, either, but once I started…

“There’s more if you’d like seconds,” she said, a hint of concern in her voice, and I quickly shook my head.

“No, I just… kind of got carried away,” I winced. “Sorry.”

She frowned at me, setting down the cup. “There's nothing to be sorry for. Here, I got you something else to help warm you up.”

I nodded, and quickly traded the bowl for the cup, but didn’t immediately drink from it. She gave me a worried smile, and after looking around a moment, sat down next to me on the other end of the bunk.

We sat in silence for a while, and I gave the dark liquid in the cup a few gentle blows. The smell coming from it was rich and dark.

“So,” Ji-woo said quietly. “You’ve been through a lot. I take it from the uniform you were wearing that you’re in high school?”

I glanced at her, then dipped my head in affirmation. I could feel myself beginning to tense up at where her questioning might be going.

“Well. After all this is over, there’s going to be a lot of people who want to talk to you, get your story and that sort of thing. They won’t be particularly gentle about how or what they ask about, because they won’t really understand that you’ve been through an ordeal. Sure, they might actually care about you, but for a lot of them the story will be the important part. It’s unfortunate, but that’s just how it is.”

She leaned back slightly on the bunk, letting out a long sigh.

"I wanted to get ahead of it, and talk to you about it first. And for that matter — Lily as well, once she's done cleaning up."

I stared blankly at her, not sure what to say. I hadn’t even thought about the aftermath of all this, let alone what people might want from me.

“It's not completely people’s fault,” she shrugged. “I mean, except for Magical Girls and the Magical Soldiers of the Guardian’s Association, normal people don’t stand a fair chance against Anathema. Which means when somebody does beat them, or at least survives them, they see it as a big deal. Something to be celebrated and shared, to spread the hope around. So when word gets out about a pair of high school students rescuing a grade school boy and getting him to a shelter, it's going to be a big deal. And when they hear the two of you were not only injured, but also came in with a bloody ice axe and knife respectively..."

Ji-woo trailed off and I glanced at her. She was looking down at the floor, a dark expression on her face.

I could feel a shiver run down my spine. I hadn't even processed how much danger Lily and I were in until now. It was a surreal feeling to know that we had almost died, and that we were lucky to be alive. I could sense that there was something more she wanted to say, but she was holding back. With just a moment of hesitation, she reached into one of her vest's pockets.

"This-" she started.

"Hey Ji-woo, we're good to go," a voice called from outside the door.

I turned my head, watching as the door opened and in came Lily with Marco. She was wearing a dark blue t-shirt that hung loose on her tall frame, and had a bag like mine slung over her shoulder. Her other hand was stuffed in the pockets of a pair of cargo shorts.

Lily looked a little pale, and her blonde hair was pulled back into a messy bun on top of her head. I cringed a little as my eyes traveled to the barest hint of a bandage peaking through her new t-shirt. As soon as she caught sight of me, she began to gingerly hobble over to the bunk, wincing with every step. The security guard helped her sit down on the other side of me, and then took a seat next to Ji-woo.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, a hint of concern in her voice.

“I’m alright,” I replied, though I knew I wasn’t completely fine. But I didn't want to worry her anymore than she already was.

“Let me get this out first,” Ji-woo said, walking over to the counter, before handing Lily a white coffee mug with a black bird pattern on it.

Lily took it, and blinked down at it with surprise. "Oh!" she exclaimed.

I looked down at the unfamiliar liquid in my hand, and then back at Ji-woo with confusion. "What is this, anyway?"

Lily gave a small smile, her blue eyes twinkling mischievously. "Hot chocolate," she answered. "You've never had it?"

"...No," I whispered, causing Ji-woo's lips to curl into a small frown.

I looked down at it again, and I took a cautious sip of the hot beverage. My taste buds practically exploded with the rich, chocolatey flavor.

I looked back up at Ji-woo, my eyes wide with surprise and confusion.

In that moment, I couldn't help but wonder why Ji-woo was treating me so kindly. She didn't even know me. Why wasn't she asking about what happened? Wasn't she supposed to be finding out how bad the Usurpation was? What's out there? Wasn't it her job? I don't understand...

The warmth from the hot chocolate began to spread throughout my body. That moment was one of the most comforting moments I had ever experienced.

I began to tear up again, and I looked down, pulling the hood down trying desperately to hide it.

But it was too late. Lily had noticed.

"Hey," she said, putting her arm around my shoulder and drawing me close. She leaned in towards me and whispered softly in my ear, "It's okay to be scared. You can cry if you want."

I resisted at first, unwilling to let my emotions get the better of me. But then, something broke inside me and I began to sniffle and sob. I let out a long deep sigh as I finally felt all the emotions leak out of me.

'I don't want them to see me cry' I thought to myself, but it felt like no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep the tears from flowing.

Tears began to flow freely down my cheeks, and I shuddered noisily as I released all the pain and fear that had been brewing inside of me. Before I knew it, the emotions flowed over, and burst like a dam.