“She's fucking Lyndon, you know. Slept her way into this place for her and her sister's family.”
“He's the one that brought her here. Insisted even, and with his damn wife and kids sleeping the next building over.”
“I don't know who's worse, that he pretends it isn't happening or that she lets it continue.”
“Jekyll's should throw her out the first chance they have.”
In the early days, Finn had tasked Shannon with finding if the rumours were true about Carol and Lyndon. And of course, there was a kind of truth in them. Carol and her family had been at the college before Shannon, one of the first holed up after the outbreak. Her sister Ivy with her husband Omarr and daughter Gemma. Shannon didn't like sneaking around them, but he owed Finn and there were always debts that needed to be repaid.
“This has to stop Lyndon, I can't do this anymore.” It was late in the evening in the middle of a particularly hot summer. Too hot for anyone to sleep with the windows closed but that bothered Lyndon Jekyll very little as he grabbed at Carol's jacket. “Your wife, for fuck sake, your damn kids will find out.”
“I don't care.”
“You do care. You're not what they think you are.”
Shannon didn't want to watch but he listened as they kissed. Not the kiss of hot and heavy lovers, but something else. Something more familiar and complicated.
“We can't do this anymore.” Carol sounded like she was trying to be firm and strong but… well she wasn’t very convincing. “I've...”
“It's someone else then?”
“Does it have to be someone else? I don't want to hide and play pretend like you don't have a wife. I don't want to be your goddamn mistress and I don't want you to leave Patricia. Not now.”
“I can't lose you. I saved you, I brought you here, your whole family would be dead without me!” Lydon’s voice quivered. He always sounded so weak.
What a fucking coward, Shannon thought stealing a look, how can she stand him? But he didn't see the disgust in Carol's face as she pushed Lyndon away.
“This has to stop,” she said. “You saved us but that doesn't mean I’m… things change. The whole world has changed and we’re not who we were before.”
He leaned in again but she pushed him away, his hands still reaching out for her.
“Please Lyndon, I don't want this to get any harder.”
“There's no one else for you here. There's just me. We can make this work.” His voice cracked as he pleaded. “You can't do this to me!” It was a quick turn from pathetic to angry, a quick change in his voice like he'd flipped a switch. Lyndon grabbed her hand and shoved Carol against the brick wall.
“You're hurting me, Lyndon,” she gasped in a whisper, but there was still no fear in her. Just surprise. “This is not how things are going to work. You can't keep secrets in this place. Everyone will know.”
“Are you threatening me?” Lyndon tried to sound tough but his voice wavered. “You know who I am, who my mother is-”
“I'm not threatening you, for Christ’s sake! I'm being realistic.”
“If anyone hears about this-”
“It's because you wouldn't let me go. We can't keep this a secret anymore. It's not about how we felt but about those we love. Aren't your kids worth at least trying to do right by your wife? Here? At the end of… everything! Isn’t it worth it to at least try?”
“That's never bothered you before.”
“I never had to eat breakfast, lunch, and fucking dinner with your whole family before.” Their voices still whispered and Lyndon backed away from Carol ever so slightly. He’d grown quiet and the hairs on Shannon’s arms pricked.
“So this is how it has to be,” Carol whispered. “I can’t live like this.”
“No.” He shook his head. “This isn't over.” Backing up, Lyndon stared just past Carol, shaking his head.
“It is, Lyndon.”
“No, it's not.”
Shannon watched him walk away, cursing to himself. Neither saw Shannon, neither noticed nor thought their secret was found out. Later that night, when Finn asked what he knew Shannon told Finn enough to know the truth. Rumours confirmed and he felt dirty for every word he shared.
Though, if Carol was still under the Jekylls’ thumb, calling their shots, he guessed things hadn’t exactly changed for her.
“Something on your mind?”
Shannon stood at the top of the stairs, his hand bracing the door open on the third floor, while Eric sat at the other end of the hallway.
“What?”
“I said 'hey' like three times,” Eric said with a tired smile. He looked like he'd been on watch all night but Shannon guessed it was more the stress.
“Sorry man. Just, you know…”
“Yeah, s'alright.” With a grunt Eric stretched his back, an audible crack echoing in the hall. “I'll go get her meal.” With a steady but light-footed stride, he walked past Shannon and started down the stairs.
Not much for conversation, I guess, he thought making his way to the chair. It stood outside a door that was open a jar with a small bit of light coming out into the hallway. Touching the door, Shannon winced as it creaked under the weight and opened enough to reveal Ashley lying flat on her back on the floor. Her eyes opened and she tilted her head to peer at Shannon from the ground. It was clear she hadn't been sleeping as she sat up, her eyes tired with light bags drooping beneath them.
“You look better.” Shannon swallowed from nerves he didn't expect and found himself avoiding her eyes. Man, does she know how to bounce back. It wasn't uncommon knowledge that Monte and his boys had put her through the shit but looking at Ashley she seemed stronger than ever. Like the outside, like their whole ordeal on the highway had never happened. Like the bite had never happened.
“You shouldn't be looking.” Ashley glanced at the door Shannon still hid behind. He took the hint though and stepped inside, letting the door nearly close behind him.
She shrugged and crossed her legs. “As far as everyone's concerned-”
“-you're half dead. Got it.” It was clear the notion left her feeling relieved from the way the tension seeped from her. She trusts me. It was a thought that made him feel awkward and his gut churned the idea over.
“How-” she hesitated before sighing. She stood up effortlessly and sat on the bed. “How are the kids?”
He had a feeling he knew what she was thinking. Do you really want to know? Will knowing the worst justify trying to get out? Will knowing the best make it all worth it? He'd been there before, he knew he'd be there again.
Without waiting a second more he stepped in and smiled. “Fuckin' great considering.” Leaving out the details helped and the relief again pooled around her face. “We'd have been pretty fucked without you. I can say it now that no one's listening.” The joke was expected to fall to a flat face but he watched her lips curve into a rare and pleasant smile.
“All about appearances, right?”
He let himself chuckle a little. “Exactly.” He leaned against the door frame, peeking out the crack to see if Eric was back. “Can't let people think I'm not in control.”
“Or a total asshole?”
He laughed.
“Yeah, don't worry, I'm sure there's little doubt.” The sarcasm barely left her lips before Eric's steps filled the hallway and Shannon slipped back out to meet him and the food.
“I'll be back in about five hours,” Eric grumbled. “Helena might come by to check on her.” His eyes followed the crack of the door. “Don't get too comfortable.” The warning felt hollow as Eric shoved the tray into Shannon's hands.
After entering the room a second time, he saw that Ashley had mounted the bed and crossed her legs. The clothing she wore was at least two sizes too big, and despite the healthier glow, she looked tiny beneath them. She wasn't the smallest girl but Ashley seemed to fit the dorm's setting. Like any old college kid. It was weirdly normal.
As Shannon got closer to place the food on the bed he could feel her eyes watching his every move, noting a clenched fist.
“Here, the bounty of our small community.” His words ached with caustic charm as he offered a grin and stepped back, hands defensively raised. The food smelled edible but looked otherwise; oatmeal with too little water making a paste of questionable origin. “I'd call it good if I were a better liar,” Shannon added, pulling a chair up to sit down.
Ashley poked at it for a moment before taking a bite. For a second, she mull over the idea of swallowing before actually going ahead with it.
“They're not trying to kill you.” Always quick to crack the joke, he tried to keep the tone cheery despite his nerves. I need to say it. It's been on my mind for days, it'll be on my mind until I do. Do it now, while I still can.
“Could have fooled me,” Ashley coughed out, covering her mouth. She ate a few more mouthfuls without complaint as the room filled with what Shannon thought to be an unbearable silence. Ashley didn't seem to notice it, poking at her food and downing each bite in a steady fashion.
Just do it... “Thanks, by the way.”
She looked up from the oatmeal as though she had forgotten he was there.
“I don't think I've said it. Don't think enough of us have, or ever will.” You're close buddy, just find the fucking nerve. “But, with everything that happened, I guess I also owe you an apology, or…. something. For all that shit like hunting you down. Running my mouth. Being a bit of an asshole.” He wasn't sure if it looked as awkward as it felt to say but he was a little proud to get it out.
Ashley seemed less pleased to hear it as she pushed the empty bowl away from her. “You don't have to apologize.”
“Yeah, I really do. We treated you, I treated you like shit. Assumed you were some evil fucking person because a poster and a radio told me so.” The part of himself filled with rage flared his ears with a hot anger saved only for reliving shame. “You're not what they say you are. You saved us, you saved those kids without any fucking reason.”
Ashley couldn't look at him while he spoke, her eyes locked on the tray and she seemed to disappear within herself. Just when he was about to speak up again she turned to the window.
“Have you ever felt guilty for something so big, so absolutely huge that you would do anything to take it back?”
Never ceasing to be shocked Shannon leaned back into the wall. His mind danced uncomfortably to Sammy and that day. Nodding once, Shannon clenched his fist, still able to feel the shoe in his hand.
“That's why I did it.” Her eyes glazed over, as if lost in memory. His own flashed back to the rain, the cars, when kids voices called out for help, and a woman they thought was a killer stepped up and saved them. “That's why I'm not clawing tooth and nail to get out of here.” Her eyes flashed to the door behind him and Shannon felt that pang in his stomach.
She's given up.
“It's guilt. That's all it was, all it is now.” Ashley leaned back against the wall and her eyes closed. “So don't thank me or bother apologizing.”
Shannon was sure she had meant that to be the end of it but like hell is that shit going to fly. He pushed off the wall nearly laughing. “Fuck that noise. You still coulda’ run. But you didn’t. And despite what you think you’re… you're not alone in here.” He kept his voice purposefully low despite wanting to scream the words at her.
Ashley’s eyes snapped to him, confusion melting into understanding.
“So rest up, get your strength back. I'll get some clean water for you.” Shannon didn't give Ashley a chance to disagree as he closed the door behind him. It wasn't his plan to argue with her until they were both blue in the face. In fact, he'd made his choice long before walking up those stairs and her guilt wasn't going to change a goddamn thing. After all, he owed her one.
[MAD Wendigo - Prologue Narration]
Thank you for reading! As always, I love being able to share this story and I love having readers. If you have any comments, feedback, hype, etc, I'd love to hear from you.
