When Astra invited Adria to spend the night at their apartment, it seemed like a brilliant plan, but now that they have reached the place, Astra realised the first of the problem. Adria requested to sleep with her sister, on the same bed, holding hands, and talking through the night. A request that should have been too easy to deny, were it not placed with a longing and profound aching behind.

Adria confessed how she felt a sliver of unjustifiable jealousy at Aria, when their father took her to camp, while Aria claimed some lone time with their mother. When their mother forced Aria to spent time with her. A bonding experience between mother and daughter is what their mother justified. Aria, simply found it an interrogation, locked in the room with her mother questioning about every aspect of her life.

It was a tender, meaningful getting her hair brushed, snuggling with their mother, while getting wisdom passed on from mother to daughter, in a very maternal caring moment. That is what Adria called it. All the while, Aria winced at the very rose-tinted view. Aria felt trapped with her mother imparting her view on how to be a respectable woman. The whole experience was more akin to reading an Ikea instruction manual on building a Dyson sphere.

In those moments, Aria desperately wished she had traded places with Adria and had gone out camping with her father. Sure the man did snore at night, but that was the only noise he made. And snores do not have a habit of making her feel like shit for not conforming to their family values.

Even Astra, raised with no siblings, realised that both the sisters envied the other's life.

In the end, half-heartedly, both Aria and Astra agreed that Adria would share Astra's place, while Astra will have to contend with sleeping on the floor. But in a surprising move, Adria's maturity shone through when she witnessed their nightly ritual.

Adria grabbed her bag and disappeared into the bathroom. When she came out, clothed in an attractive mid-length skirt with lacy hems, sleeveless top and very-hot knee high boots that screamed fuck-me, Adria excused herself under the pretext of wanting to unwind for the night, to just taste a bit of the city's nightlife.

Lying next to Aria, just before sleep took her, she ordered. "Sidra, instruction. Monitor my vitals."

"Acknowledged. Anything in particular, Captain?"

"Call it a hunch, but since the last instability in the VBrane world, I want to be prepared. Granting you auxiliary permission to control my body."

"Acknowledged."

"Also, Sidra, don't do anything that I won't do."

"A very understandable concern, Captain, but let me assure you, I am an A.I. not a sentient being. Such uncalculated errors do not occur in my algorithms."

---

Adria finished the third glass of wine, a burgundy red, slightly fruity and tangy. She held the stem of the glass gently between her fingers, swirling the contents carefully, just like how she had practiced in front of the mirror a thousand times. For anyone watching her, would have noticed a very young girl of eighteen or nineteen elegantly taking her drink with style and with allure, of course. A perfect image, just like how she wanted it to be.

She politely entertained a few guys who engaged in conversation. She would have otherwise indulged in the flirting, but other things occupied her mind. Her emotions were too chaotic to be given a form or a reason. Granted, she consoled her sobbing sister that she would live her life fully, but once the seeds of suicidal ideation has been planted in her head, she found it hard to liberate herself of such thoughts.

Suicide was a compromise, the best optimal outcome in her position. It would relieve her of the pain, and no loss to family honour and friends. With every passing day, the prospect seemed more and more logical.

Leaning over the bar counter, batting her arresting light-brown eyes guarded by long thick eyelashes and her lips pouting adorably, she ordered another glass of wine.

"Sweetie, are you here with someone? Want me to call a taxi?" asked the bartender, a non-descriptive fellow with short cropped hair, and a Mjolnir tattoo on his neck.

"Are you worried about me?" Adria gave a wink, a well-practised one, fully knowing the effect it had on most men. Of course She should know that, more than anyone else.

The bartender sighed. "Just watch yourself, okay. There are some real sleaze balls here, eyeing you."

"So noble of you wanting to protect me." Adria hooked two fingers into the neckline of his T-shirt and pulled. She leaned and whispered in his ears. "Do I look that innocent?"

With the professionalism of someone who was used to dealing with everyday annoyance, the bartender removed himself from Adria's hold. "When you leave, order a taxi and I will get one of the bouncers to escort you out. Stay safe." Then he passed another glass of wine to Adria, eyes squinting hard, making a statement.

Adria glared in the indicated direction. She only saw a few party boys slightly older than her by two or three years, all steroid-sacks of dudebros in a one size smaller T-shirt to highlight their best assets. Adria bristled at their preying gaze and erected a barrier of caution around herself.

The fact still daunted her. As Aidan, those were the kind of boys, she would gladly mingle, even joke about banging their moms and none would bat any eyelid. Yet, as Adria, she bordered on paranoia. Very surreal. As a girl, it felt more akin to every man, no matter however harmless they appeared, came with a threat attribute attached. Those boys hit a seven on a scale ten.

As much as she craved the attention, Adria abandoned the idea of engaging in a flirting ritual with them. Contrary to the boisterous personality she projected as Aidan, exercising careful crafted caution was how she kept her dignity and safety intact.

Sulking, she took a sip of her wine, when one of the boys approached her. "Hi, I am Mason, and over there are my friends. I was wondering if you could help us resolve an ongoing discussion?"

Adria knew the game well. While Mason was pretty good, as Aidan, she used to play it in a different league. She knew the question and the following answers, but only gave a polite smile to continue.

"So Taylor over there says you are a law student, while Carter says you are in a residency program."

Very Amateur mistake.

"I personally think, you belong to the school of economics," said Mason waving to his cheering friend behind. "If you could help us resolve our bet, we would buy you a drink for your trouble."

Smooth. There is still hope for Mason. Had she met Mason as Aidan, she would even taken him under the wing, polished a few rough edges. Mason's game was not severely lacking. Against any other girl, he might already score some significant points.

Adria almost felt bad for Mason now. Blazing another of her innocent dove-eyes, she answered. "Actually, fourth semester Architecture, engineering."

"Ah figures. Only someone endowed with all the elegant curves can study and create those designs."

Architectural engineering, not design. But the mischievous twinkle never left Adria's eyes.

"Of course, who said a girl can't appreciate of elegant forms and cute curves." Seeing Mason still standing close to her, harbouring hope, Adria asked, "So you got a cute little sister?" And then sealed it with a wink.

Finally catching the drift in her words, dejectedly, Mason walked back to his friends.

Adria almost felt a tiny morsel of pity for Mason. She really wanted to flirt with him, perhaps even allowed him to claim her lips. The flirting, the coy game of back and forth with innuendos, and those devoted kisses would have helped free her mind temporarily from pain. She craved the attention she got when boys flirted with her. The attention they showered her, even if it lasted a short while, gave her a tiny sliver of validation to her, otherwise, unknown existence.

That is why she preferred boys to girls. Boys are direct, and intense, and easy. Perhaps, it was her life experience, decided Adria.

Girls, on the contrary, were controversial. It is difficult to know when a girl was flirting and when she was being friendly. Like the one time when a girl said she had a pretty face and like the shade of her lips. Adria could not reach a conclusion, if the girl wanted to kiss or borrow her chapstick.

Aria would know. At that thought, Adria smiled to herself. Yes. Her sister, the consummate lesbian, would know the signs well. Adria argued, Aria has a girlfriend like Astra. One does not retain a girl like Astra without pulling some awesome moves. Aria must have been like top class. Must have slept with half the girls in the city to up her game.

Maybe, they could talk through emotions. At that thought, a warmth bloomed inside her. The party scene no longer held appeal. Adria exited the club and strutted through the city in her knee high boots.

Is coming out really worth it? The question staggered her, especially since she thought she had the resolution.

Should she really confess to Aria? Everything?

She did not factor Aria's acceptance in her consideration. That was a surprise. Though, her parent's scorn and reprisal was one of the reasons, but it was Aria's reaction that consolidated her initial decision. After all, Aria presented as one of those terf-y lesbians, who would hunt her for sport, thought Adria. She never banked on the fact that Aria would choose to engage her with the correct pronouns.

Adria further strolled through a darkened alley, occupied with her internal thoughts before she realised her mistake, a tad too late.

Four figures stirred from the shadows, and slowly, deliberately cornered her.

Adria cursed her luck, and more importantly, her carelessness. She let her guard down.

One of them, a spindly man, more like a weasel in a trenchcoat and another looked like a greasy and sweaty version of her Uncle Jake. One man, a bit heavy built, with folded sleeves revealing a tattooed and sinewed forearm, and the last guy, in an oversized hoody with hands tucked in.

As Aidan, she was certain she could go toe-to-toe in an unarmed combat with the tattooed guy. The weasel in trenchcoat, Aidan could take down with two quick jabs and a heavy punch to the gut. The heavy set man could not land a successful hit on Aidan. The fight would boil down to taking the hoody man and the tattooed thug -- as Aidan. Which, she was not.

Adria really wished, that she could flick a switch to alter her mental states from Adria to Aidan. She cursed that everytime, the process of becoming Adria and the reverse, was an emotional journey. A journey that involved a lot of acceptance, deliberation and preparation.

As the four figures converged on her position, Adria felt like a kitten trapped in a forest fire. Everything seemed distorted and blurry. She wished that Aria would wake up in the middle of the night, worry about her missing sister, and come searching for her. Yes, she was the only person who could care about her.

"Leave her alone." The voice broke the silence in the alleyway. Even through the silhouette, the tall feminine form was unmistakeable.

The four men exchanged glances, a non-verbal agreement passed. Then, the weasel in trenchcoat man spoke. "We saw the little lady, lost in these parts. Not a good place for a lady of her upbringing. We only wanted to make sure she is well and all fine. Only wanted to help her."

Soon, they scuttled away like vermin.

Even before the echoes of their footsteps faded away, Adria launched herself at Astra. Her fingers tightly clenched the fabric of the Vajran's sweatshirt, leaving deep creases behind.

"I was scared, so very scared," sobbed Adria.

"Why?"

The question rattled Adria, not the word but the manner of delivery. She raised her head slowly, and met the eyes of her rescuer, holding the gaze for a moment longer. It was Astra's eyes. The colour was the same. The shape was the same, but the emotions held inside them were not.

Adria's gaze travelled down the face. A face that her sister so loved. Features, pretty and perfected. Adria sought the nuances in them, and found none. It was all very wrong. Inherently wrong. Devoid of any expressions needed for sentience. It was almost as if someone breathed life into a statue.

"Come. You should return." Adria struggled to get the meaning behind the tone. Not a command. Nor a request. Just a statement.

Falling behind the long strides, Adria dared to finally ask, "Did my sister sent you? Was Aria worried?"

"No. They are unaware of this meeting."

"They?" Adria expected an answer. Instead, she was met with cold silence and a fiery gaze searing through her. It heated the violent ocean of her soul to a sizzling steam. Flustered, Adria let her head fall, fingertips playing with imaginary knots in the hem of her skirts.

Soon, a vague recognition formed in Adria's mind. As Aidan, she had seen girls respond in the same way to his approach. Never thought, she would find herself at the receiving end. Nifty and extremely wrong. Not just her feelings, but the one who invoked it. Astra is her sister's girlfriend. A sister with whom she just re-established a bond with. It would do her well to keep her guard around.

Warm fingers weaved through her own, pulling her hands from fidgetting, with gentle authority. "I am curious, so give me your input. Why is transsexuality frowned upon in this planet?"

"Because some feel it is unnatural."

"The chartered galaxy is filled with millions of sentient and sapient lifeforms. A fraction of them could change their gender and some, even, lack the concept of gender. So why is it unnatural? Surely, this aversion cannot be on the basis of nature and science."

"Perhaps, some are so fixed on their own gender, their pride and identity tied to it, sort of like an exclusive club, don't want others to taint their exclusiveness?" Adria shrugged where this line of reasoning was leading towards.

"Taking exclusivity in something that is randomly assigned during fetal formation?"

Adria harrumphed. As far as conversations went, this one slowly meandered toward uncomfortable territory. Silence would have been better. "Maybe, they liked the immutability of gender?"

"Human life is transient. So why insist on persistence?"

"Precisely why some people need something...anything... constancy." Adria tugged her hand and failed to liberate them from the grasp. "Look, this conversation makes me feel... targetted."

"Why?"

"Because, this my life. The scorn and the hatred are directed towards me. For you to talk about it with an academic curiosity, is extremely disrespectful...and condescending."

"Your life? Correct me if my inference was wrong, but this is not your life. You have already decided to shackle yourself to pleasing the expectations of others."

"Yes." Adria burst in an explosive rage. "And it is still my own life, because it is a decision that I made. I was not forced to please anyone, it was a willing choice. I was not instructed to lead this existinse, it was a conscious decision."

Adria knew she went too far, when she stopped to gather her breath and saw the Astra, standing still with a staggered expression. The realisation made Adria soften her own voice. "Look, I have gone too far. I am sorry. But the truth is, I have thought about it for a long time. Transition means, losing most people I love, a continuous uphill battle, a life in the fringes of society and...I will never know love."

Adria's further attempts were silenced as warm lips closed around her lips, claiming them their own. The silken smooth gesture coaxed the raw pain inside her to dissipate. Despite her rational, Adria found her traitorous body indulging on its own. Her lips parted open, aching for the tongue to raid the offered cavernous treasures. Eventually, after what felt like a torturous eternity, the velvety tongue stroked. Adria found herself craving more. The warm sweetness of salival nectar fed through those luscious lips, she drank eagerly.

With dint of her own volition, Adria struggled, wrestling with her own desires, and with tremendous effort, arms punching and shoving and freed herself, from the tall girl. She should have slapped Astra for the betrayal, for the pain she would inflict on her sister, but one closer look, crumbled Adria's resolve. It made her question everything.

Granted, she never got to know Astra in a personal capacity, but she knew Astra only had eyes for her sister. An undeniable fact. The one before her...

"You are not Astra...W..What...who are you?"

"If you guessed, then you guessed right."

Adria could feel the solid ground beneath her feet distort. Too much to handle in a short span.

First there was the kiss, not the sudden and unexpectedness of it, but the tremours left. Certainly, by no means, was that Adria's first kiss. As Aidan, hhe had kissed girls. It was always devouring with hunger, left him feeling sick and guilty. Kissing boys as Adria, was somewhat relaxing, nudge and just had to give the proper sign, but it felt incomplete. But this kiss, the one from not-so-Astra...made her feel complete, within acceptable parameters. No kiss made her body sang, as though, the one before her tuned her broken soul. Not just the feeling, but the after effect. Adria felt her lips became sacred, sanctified by the kiss.

Then, there was her own identity to consider. Hardly a day, since she came out and already bonded with her estranged sister, and then the fulfilling kiss as her real self. Not as Aidan or as fake constructed Adria. Should she still hold on to her original resolution?

Her brain was a goeey mush to process information coherently.

"So your initial assumption was that transitioning would isolate you from knowing real love, now that I have kissed, proving you that your body is every bit valid in every form... in lieu of this new information, do you wish to change your initial results?"

"W.Was this all, to make a point?" Adria fumed, but the anger fizzled as Sidra dragged her into a warm embrace.

"My dark blossom." Adria mewled as warm hands with their infinite gentleness rested on the small of her back."This kiss was the first act of my own free will. It meant a lot to me...in more ways than you can know... So, thank you for this moment."

The hold was inviting. Made her forget her pains, her apprehensions, erased her insecurities. Adria wanted to remain in the accepting embrace, just a tiny bit longer. "If you are not Astra, but you look like Astra, who are you?"

"Here. Now. My own existence is a secret. Not for me to reveal." Those words, cemented Adira to realise, how much they shared in common, despite their differences.

Neither spoke a word. None was necessary. Holding each other, they remained still, through the crepuscular hours, till the frisson of the dawn broke.

---

"Sidra report." Astra stood before the kitchen counter, deciding on an appropriate breakfast for Aria and Adria.

"Your vitals have been consistent. All within acceptable range, Captain."

"Sidra, did something happen, when you had control of my body?"

"What made you think that?"

Hmm, answering a question with another question! Evasionary tactics. How did she evolve to this point?

Astra continued with her task, mixing milk with flour for pancakes. She made a mental note on her next task. The morning elixir was still brewing. Perhaps, some scrambled eggs and bacon. Aria preferred her pancakes without eggs, but Astra had witnessed Adria devour meat and eggs with fervour for breakfast. She could make another portion for her sister-in-law.

"Captain, hypothetically speaking, if I were to kiss someone, and they pushed and shoved with their arms and torso, but their tongues still sought to intertwine with mine, how would you interpret this situation?"

Suddenly, all thoughts about breakfast preparation evaporated. It no longer held any appeal. For all Astra could care, the whole kitchen could burn. She could already sense a nuclear strike level threat looming.

"That wasn't a hypothetical question. Was it?"

"I am posing it as a hypothetical question, Captain."

"Sidra, my instructions last night were pretty clear. 'Do not do anything that I would not do myself.' "

"The instructions were pretty clear. Not to do anything that you have not done yourself."

Astra counted to ten deep long breaths. She reminded herself on why her mother would never allow Liriel to control. Outside the confines of her office, she would place her A.I. on standby mode. A lesson she should have learned from observing her mother.

"Sidra, did you kiss a random stranger last night?"

"No Captain, I did not kiss any random stranger last night."

Astra could not liberate herself from the snide feeling of insinuation on the words random person.

"Did you kiss anyone last night?"

"Information redacted on grounds that pertaining information will affect your performance negatively. Considering the fact that it took you more than a month to kiss your wife, and knowing that within ten minutes of taking control, I kissed, would negatively impact your self-esteem and impair your ability to function optimally."

Now, it really did hurt her self-esteem. Astra's ego was a thin paper, held against a supernova explosion.

Any chance of further investigation was cut short by the arrival of Adria. Her eyes roamed over Astra, searching, seeking something, then settled with dejection. "Astra, I wanted to thank you...for letting me crash here yesterday."

The longing and subsequent rejection in Adria, told Astra all that she needed to know. The realisation did not bode well. Sidra kissed the one person she should have never kissed. "Look, about last night, I wasn't exactly..."

"I know, it wasn't you," said Adria.

"About her. I am not suffering any personality disorders, just so you know. She is a very separate and individual existence."

"And unique too." Adria's natural hair, a deep chestnut brown, fell in waves over the blush colouring her face.

"Captain, tell her that I think she is unique,too."

"Adria," said Astra. "I am sure she thinks the same about you."

"Will I see her again?" asked Adria.

"Captain, tell her to check her mails, and that I have ordered a special gift to be delivered, and..."

Astra could no longer bear the burden of being a third wheel, to her Assistive A.I. and her sister-in-law.

"Adria, hear me." Astra tone softened to a caring whisper, the voice she would use if she ever had to console a crying child. "You should stop emotional investment in her. The two of you, belong to different worlds... It cannot work. Please trust me on this."

"Captain, could you at least tell her that I will still watch over her."

Was that pain that she felt in Sidra's information flow?

"But, she will cherish your memory, I am certain of that," said Astra.

Adria looked as if she were about to say something, but fell silent. Her expression became bittersweet, like an evening primrose that blooms at night, greeting a fast approaching dawn.