Chapter 46

My Two Lovers

 

Shanghai to Chicago is a twelve-hour flight.  Lots of time to think about my two men.  Sheng got the first couple hours, although maybe I was thinking about me – and my feelings.  Something happened.  I don’t know how these things work, but I had spent the evening walking around the art exhibits waiting for my chance to get some place private and pull the guy on top of me.  You know, basic horniness.

Then my conversation with Tiny Lady.  Strange conversation, but enlightening.  I would spend the next weeks replaying that conversation over and over, teasing out all its meaning.  But one impact was immediate.  I left that bathroom and saw Sheng waiting for me.  I also saw a flicker of recognition between him and Tiny Lady.  And some hormone in some corner of my body seemed to vanish.  Later I think I was seeing my lover being redefined as a lapdog.  He did her bidding.  My brain didn’t yet make that complete connection, but my hormones did.  Any passion I had for him vanished.

But I smiled and took his arm.  I assumed we would take one more circle of the exhibits, then go to my hotel where he would fuck me and leave.  I was fine with both – fuck me and leave.  I would fly home the next morning and never give Sheng another thought.

But he had his own plan.  He got us in a limo going east – Tianjin.  He had a surprise for me – a cruise out onto the Yellow Sea.  Why I might want a cruise on the Yellow Sea he didn’t say, but he seemed excited about it.  Fine.  He held me close for a couple hours, did the usual fine job with his hands (my skirt got higher as the straps on my gown got lower), and I didn’t mind what he was doing at all. 

We got to the port and boarded a yacht.  About midsized.  Three decks, no heliport.  A crew to run the boat and a crew to serve us.  Only us.  I counted six cabins.  Only ours was occupied.  We boarded, and the crew took us out.  The evening was a bit cool, but Sheng wrapped me up in his coat, and we watched the shore slowly disappear.  And here I will admit the cool wind brought back some of that old feeling.  My skirt pressed tight against my thighs.  I moved those thighs to him.  He held my hair; he held my ass.  He knew how to get me started.

Off to a large, beautiful cabin.  Lights off, large windows letting in moonlight.  Somehow my suitcase had been brought over from my hotel.  It sat in a corner.  My red, satin nightgown lay across the bed.  I had no objection to any of this.  I got into the limo and onto the boat knowing where this was likely to end up.  Fine.  He was good at what he did.  If this was to be our last time together, at least it would be done well.

I let him undress me.  I decided he would do all the work.  And he handled it well.  Slow, lots of caresses as my silks slid down.  His body close, his kisses constant.  The man was an expert.  He dropped my nightgown around me so lightly it made my skin tingle.  I sat on the bed and watched him undress.  A pretty good show.  Did I mention chest and shoulders?  I was definitely ready when he finished.

But he wasn’t quite done.  I noticed his necktie.  So.  That again.  I let him do it.  He pulled me off the bed and put me on my knees.  His phone was in his hand.  I was to perform.  Tiny Lady said I was to resist a little.  I didn’t.  I pleased him.  I looked up at him the whole time.  But I didn’t look directly at him, I looked at the camera.  I knew who I was really pleasing – Tiny Lady.  I wondered if she was critiquing me.  Would she offer pointers?   I teased Sheng a bit, making him wait.  Finally I gave him what he (and she) wanted.

Does this all sound clinical?  It was.  Yes, there were moments over the next several days when some of the old lust returned, but mostly it was me saying good-bye.  Our boat turned gentle circles in the Yellow Sea, and Sheng and I rode our relationship to its conclusion.

His agenda?  My best guess?  He knew I had been sent back to America.  I was to go back still madly in love with him, rushing to get back to him.  And I was to come back ready to do anything for him.  He was my lover, and my dom.   I would serve him.  I would listen carefully in America and faithfully return with both a set of messages, and a set of insights.  All reported to him.

My agenda?  Why report to the lapdog?  Why not deliver the message directly to Tiny Lady?  She might not have all the bedroom skills of the lapdog, but she seemed more interesting.   I was certain she would invite me to her home.  I would go.  Not sure what would happen there, but I was intrigued.  Maybe more than intrigued.

But I let Sheng play out his agenda.  Most of it was pleasant.  We dressed formally and sat in the salon, waiters bringing us fresh fish and dumplings.  There was always wine.  There was music after dinner, and we spent hours holding each other and slow dancing, rocking side to side as the boat also rocked.  He held me tight.  I was plenty warmed by the time we went to our cabin.

He bound my wrists every night, and took more pictures with me posed, nightgown up or off, hair covering this or that.  I wanted to wink at Tiny Lady.  One night I did struggle a bit, just to play along.  He held me tighter.  I liked that.  In fact, I liked every moment on that boat.  Good food, good music, his constant attention, his well-trained hands.  If you can get four days on a boat with the right man, I recommend it.

There was talk.  I wish there hadn’t been.  I liked Sheng so much more when he was using his mouth to kiss me.  He did that, but he also talked.  The Academy.  One night at dinner I got its history.  One night I got plans for its future.  One night I got special events.  Did the man have a life outside the Academy?  Yes, he had some connection to Tiny Lady, but otherwise, he seemed just a functionary.  He had found his place in the bureaucracy.  I sipped my wine, listened, and wondered what had revved up my hormones in the first place.

Four days.  Four nights.  We returned to Tianjin at dawn.  Time enough for a final shower.  He left me breathless.  The man had skills.  And, like the perfect performer, he left me wanting more.  Would I go back for more?  Yes, probably.  But it wouldn’t be the same.  The fire that had burned on the top of the Great Wall might flare up a bit when his hands slid over me, but it wasn’t the same fire.

And what about Jiks?  That was a fire I needed to kindle.  Tiny Lady said he was obedient.  He could be pushed.  I remembered the look on Tiny Lady’s face and knew she could do it.  I would do a film about her?  Yes, something said the woman had that kind of history.

But could I move Jiks along without using a push from the Party?

I spent the next two weeks with him.  Obedient?  Not so much.  I told him the Party wanted me to visit the US.  He told me “no.”  He needed me for final work on the film.  I wondered if there would yet another ending, or if there would ever be a final version.  I told him about Tiny Lady and the order I had received.  He knew who Tiny Lady was but didn’t care.

“The Party has been mixed up with you since the first day.  This needs to end.”

“What are you talking about?”

We were in our bedroom for this conversation.  I lay across his chest, my head resting on his shoulder, the two of us speaking in whispers.

“Lee.  They explained it to me when they passed you to me.  You were their access to technical data on EVs.  You had given Lee good information.  They expected you to make two or three more trips back to the US for updates.  Then Lee screwed up.  He was to marry you to keep you happy - happy enough to spy for him.  But he selected his family’s choice instead.  The Party was plenty angry.  His career is largely over.”

“He should have picked me.”

“Don’t be selfish, Mary.  Family matters here.  And he did his best for you.  He gave the city the money for that first tourism video.  He wanted to do right by you.”

“And you?  Where did you come in?”

“The videos surprised people.  They were good.  You were good.  It got people thinking.  Maybe you could give China a new face.” 

“An ordinary face.”

“Perfectly ordinary.  No super model reading from a script, paid by the word, phony as hell.  A real American.  A car mechanic.  The girl who might live next door.  Everything she says is believable.  Everything she says comes with that carefree smile.  A girl who enjoys life in China.”

“Very useful.”

“Useful because it is true.  That is your secret skill – honesty.  You are exactly what you seem to be.”

As he is saying these words, he rolled over on to me.  He played with my hair, fondled my breasts, kissed me.  You know, foreplay.  It worked.  I grabbed his ass and pulled him to me.

“So, they wanted me in your movies.”

I could still carry on a conversation, but my breathing had definitely changed.  I was definitely thinking more about the man getting ready to fuck me than I was about the Party.  

“Yes.  Cameos, really.  Just an American face here and there.  Maybe it would help with international sales, maybe it would help make China look a little less scary.  Look at this young woman.  If she is happy here, how bad can the Chinese be?  But you were more.  I could see that right away.  I took one look and started building your roles.  Of course, you also built your roles.  You have an ear for dialog like few others.  We were happy to let you rewrite the scripts.  And, yes, we were happy to have your name listed among the screen writers.  Look at us – we are so open to foreign influence we use international writers.”

I felt his penis harden and slide up my thigh.  Enough about the Party.  Time to talk about us.  I spread my legs and let him slide inside me.  Then I wrapped my legs tight around him to hold him.

“No more about the Party.  Us.  Tell me about us.  I have been in your bed almost three years.  What do you want from me?  An average American girl face for your films, better dialog for your scripts, a warm bed at night?  Why am I here?”

“You are here because I love you.”

“And you know I love you.  Normally that leads to…”

“We are already married.”

“Not officially.”

“But in everyone’s eyes.  They see us together constantly.  They see us as married.”

“I want it official.  And I want three sons.”

“You want a dynasty.”

“I want a family.”

His face was so close.  He wanted me to see he was speaking the truth.  Good.

“Your acting career would be over.  We won’t add pregnant roles to the script.”

“I never came to China for a career.  I came for the love of a man and the hope of a family.  You are short a hundred million women.  I would think marriage would be obvious.  You should have asked me the first night I came home with you.  Why am I still the one doing the asking?”

“Are you sure I’m good enough for you?”

“Do you mean, do I know you sneak off and fuck half the women in your cast?  Yes, but I know you are doing less of that.  And you know the Party set me up with Sheng in Beijing.  Very skilled.  Very romantic.  Just a Party automaton, but very well trained.  I think I am done with him.  But no guarantees.”

“So, we marry but keep fucking others?”

“We fuck fewer.  And you come home most nights.  You take the kids to the park with me, and you read bedtime stories.  I deal with all shit and snot.  I’ll continue to rewrite scripts for you if you wish.  That is our marriage.”

“And you wish that now?”

“I wish your promise now.  We will marry when I return from the US.”

Long pause.  Good.  I didn’t want a trivial response, or a forced agreement. 

“Some truth first.  Yes, we are short millions of women.  But that is not what draws me to you.  I wanted you the moment I saw you in that ancient castle, the light coming through the firing port, you standing just above us looking like the most genuine woman I had ever seen.  Pretty, yes.  Vivacious, yes.  But the best word was ‘genuine.’  What I saw was exactly what you were.  I wanted what I saw.  I still do.  I always will.”

“What you don’t know is I was acting for you the minute I saw you enter the room.  There was me, and there was you, and everyone else disappeared.  I stood up on that shelf, said my lines, and wanted to jump down into your arms.”

He just laughed.

“You are the world’s worse liar.  The only man you saw was Su Kai.  You wanted him.  You said you would let him fuck you right then and there – and you were telling the truth.”

“Okay.  I saw Su Kai and well, hormones do what hormones do.  But I saw you too.”

“I’ll pretend that’s true.  You saw me too.” 

He had the cutest smile.  He held himself over me.  Still the smile.  Then a gradual shift to a very different expression.  I waited, increasingly sure of what would follow.

“I promise to marry you, Mary.  And I will be the father to your children.  I may even help with them.  Please marry me.”

“I will.”

I was supposed to be on a plane the next day, but I spent two more weeks with him.  He did have tasks for me at the studio, but mostly it was us being together.  Us out at dinners, us home on our couch, us in bed, and us taking really long showers.  Us.  I liked that.  Us.

So that is what I thought about as I crossed the Pacific.  Us.