“I... I had no idea, Lord Henri. So all this time, you were...?”

I could barely get those words out of my mouth. My lord had trusted me with his past, however dark it was, yet here I was, trembling at the mere thought of his adoptive mother being a witch. The witch, in fact.

Unconsciously, I rubbed my arms as if I were cold while my mind leapt back to that fateful night eleven years ago. I was never there, but the tales I heard were more than enough to give me nightmares for the next six months of my life back then. Indeed, the tales of the empire’s last witch hunt were terrifying to say the least, and the destruction that witch wrought was on a scale far larger than any other.

In fact, some say that her power could’ve been compared to the Witch Queen of yore, but the fact that she was slain so quickly placed a small damper on such hyperboles. Still, it didn’t make her any less terrifying to hear about, and never did I think that my very own lord would have turned out to be her adoptive son, sworn to serve the witch’s daughter for life.

I glanced at Lord Henri, biting my lip as a pang of regret shot through my heart. Observant as he was, it was no surprise he noticed the apprehension and fear in my eyes even though such emotions had only been present for a moment. Regardless of what happened in the past, I was still his knight. I had served him faithfully throughout the years, and though he was now a criminal, I saw no reason to abandon him.

After all, he couldn’t even be blamed for what he did. He had sworn his pact as a child, back when he knew not what a witch was, nor the dangers of associating with one. Surely he could be forgiven despite the crimes he had committed, right?

I reached a hand out toward him tentatively, but he brushed it aside with a sad smile. “Ah... Lord Henri, I...”

“There’s no need, Vera.” Lord Henri said to me, his voice gentle as ever. “Of course you would fear me now that I am witchspawn in all but birth. I release you from your oa—”

“N-No!” I shouted, my voice coming out with far more intensity than I’d expected. Lord Henri flinched, but I pressed on, determined to let him know that I was willing to stay by his side even if it would damn my fate as well. “Lord Henri, I am your knight now and forever! No matter where you go... No matter where I go, my blade will always be yours!”

A dreadful smog of silence filled the air, smothering my fading voice as I finished my declaration. Lord Henri regarded me with a soft gaze carrying notes of farewell. It was clear he had made his choice regardless of what I said, but I didn’t want to accept it. We had fought so many battles together, both at Revelo Academy and after we graduated. The moments I shared with him, the matches we won and lost... They were memories I could never let go of.

But most of all, they were memories I wanted to make more of. I didn’t want them to be washed away by this new revelation.

“They were genuine, Vera.”

“H-Huh?” I blinked in surprise, staring blankly at Lord Henri. I had no idea what he was talking about. What did he even mean? What was genuine? I don’t know.

I don’t know. I really don’t. I...

...I wish I didn’t know.

In the end, I have to accept it, don’t I? I laughed bitterly. This ugly heart of mine.

As always, Lord Henri’s powers of observation were second to none. It was that very gift which allowed him to rise to the position of Baron Dietrich’s advisor after all. With just a glance, he had torn apart the barriers I carefully constructed around my irredeemably twisted heart.

Lord Henri was correct. Though he did not say it outright, the fact that he directly addressed my true worry was a statement enough. In truth, the reason why my heart trembled was not because he was a witchspawn, nor was it because he had betrayed the barony.

It wasn’t even the fact that he had already sworn the whole of his being to another woman even before we met. No. It was simply my selfish desire to know whether all those moments we shared together were real or simply some sort of mask he wore to conceal his true nature. 

Had I just been yet another tool for him to hide his true identity? Was I merely a throwaway pawn for his plans and the plans for his mistress? Did all those years we spent together mean nothing? Our triumphs and our failures... Were they all just lies?

Was I the only one who truly cared?

That alone was what I wanted to know.

As the daughter of Baroness Olette, I was expected to become a noble and inherit her position. However, when I awakened, I was gifted not a Crest, but the power of a knight. Of course, I wasn’t treated worse, but I received less attention from both my family and my friends. After all, there was no point in associating with me anymore when I was not the one due to inherit my mother’s title.

At first, I tried to tell myself that it was fine. I was the eldest child of the house, and Aluvsha had chosen to give me a different gift. It wasn’t as though I was ashamed of being a knight, and I had intended to become my younger brother’s knight when he awakened his Crest, but things didn’t go right. He ended up getting engaged with some noblewoman in another dukedom and they had gone off to attend the Imperial Academy.

Meanwhile, I had remained here in Revelo fief, alone and friendless. Knights didn’t have the time to attend tea parties after all, and I was no longer given lessons in etiquette once I awakened my strength. I understood my mother’s decisions, but at the same time... Those tea parties had been my only window to the world. They had become my only pleasure, and they had been wrenched from me without even giving me a chance to struggle.

It was cruel, but I persevered, thinking that I simply needed to become a great knight. I wasn’t completely wrong, but never again did I receive the same love and affection I had gotten used to during the first ten years of my life. It hurt at first, but like everything else, I slowly got used to it. I got used to being alone, eating alone, training alone. Of course, I tried to befriend those in my order as a squire, but then again, I was never really good at approaching people. It always ended disastrously or we’d become acquaintances and nothing more.

It was fine. I was fine.

But then I met Lord Henri. We entered Revelo Academy at the same time, and while I was only admitted out of courtesy, he had managed to secure a scholarship as a commoner. It was impressive to say the least, but what amazed me even more was his ferocious tenacity. As a commoner, he was oftentimes subject to bullying from his peers but no matter how many times he was kicked down, he always pushed himself back up and continued to strive for even greater heights.

I had no idea why he had chosen me to be his knight during the selection process, but I soon learned that Lord Henri’s unflappable attitude and mental resilience was all but a front. It was only behind closed doors that he would remove his mask and shed tears. I was a fool to think that all the blows his peers rained on him every day wouldn’t at least bruise. As the two of us licked our wounds together, we forged a bond stronger than any other. One that would never be broken no matter what befell us.

At least, that was what I thought. All this time, I had served him faithfully and dutifully... Only to learn that he had been sworn to another ever since he was a child and that all he had done thus far was to further the plans of another. Did he ever think of us even once? Did he ever do anything for our sake, or was everything just for the witch he’d sworn his heart to?

“...They were genuine, Vera.” Lord Henri repeated. “My feelings, your feelings. Our memories... They were genuine. Most of them, at least.”

”W-Why...?” I took a step back. “Why did you say that...?”

This time, I truly didn’t know why. He could’ve done without that last phrase. He could have ended it at “They were genuine.” He could have given me the reprieve I needed. The comfort and confidence I desired so I could continue remaining by his side as his faithful knight, stalwart even in his most trying moments. So why did he say those final words?

I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know.

I continued retreating from the room, not waiting for Lord Henri to explain himself. Whatever he had to say, I didn’t want to hear it. At least not now while my heart was about to burst. If his next words even so much as brushed against it, I had no doubt that my heart would explode and become nothing more than a gory mess not even worth piecing back together.

I ran and I cried. I ran until my breath became ragged. I cried until my heart bled. Once again, I found myself alone in this world. Forgotten, abandoned. Unwanted, unneed—

“Dame Vera?”

Slowly, I raised my head up. I had no idea how anyone managed to find me in this secluded alleyway curled up in the fetal position, but I sure as hell wasn’t proud of it.

“Dame... Trianna?” Tears blurred my vision and my mind was little more than a wreck, but I could still see the young woman’s hair illuminated by the setting sun. It was a dark shade of violet, almost like wilting lavender. She wore a concerned expression on her face as she sat down next to me.

“That’s me,” Dame Trianna nodded. “So... What’re you doing here, crying and all alone?”

I blinked away the tears in my eyes, staring at Dame Trianna with a look of surprise and confusion. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I certainly didn’t think the junior knight would have asked such a blunt question. It was such an enormous faux pas that I couldn’t even muster the strength to be offended. Instead, I just laughed.

“...Dame Trianna, I must admit your social skills need some work.”

“Coming from you? Hardly.” Dame Trianna grinned, punching me on the shoulder playfully. I didn’t know why she and her friend Dame Pamela had continued making efforts to interact with me when they arrived, but I secretly enjoyed it. Of course, I was a little wary when they first began approaching me, but I slowly warmed up to them in time.

Perhaps they could sense the loneliness I hid inside, and how empty I was without Lord Henri by my side. After all, I had the habit of zoning out and staring off into the distance whenever my lord wasn’t present, almost as if I hoped to see him coming back to me from afar. It was foolish of me to become so attached to someone, but then again, it was too late for me to change.

“...So what brings you here, Dame Trianna? This is hardly a place where a young and lively knight ought to hang around.”

“I was bored, I guess. Everyone’s busy preparing for the war, Dame Krista doesn’t trust me enough to let me near the war room, Medrauta and Lady Viviane are off doing... Whatever important business they’re always off doing, and well...” Dame Trianna shrugged. “That’s pretty much it. I figured I’d explore the city a little since Pamela decided to turn it in for the night.”

“And you found me. Pretty unfortunate, don’t you think?”

“For you, maybe.” Dame Trianna laughed. “Honestly, I wanted to thank you, Dame Vera. You were a bit cold when we first met, but now you’re like an old friend. Out of all the senior knights here, you’re the youngest of them, but you’ve managed to become one of the baron’s most trusted confidants. It’s really impressive, and well... It makes me think that maybe one day, I’ll be able to do the same too.”

“Out of all the knights here, you’ve taken me for a role model?” I shook my head, unable to stop the smile from forming on my face. It wasn’t an expression of pride, but one of disbelief. Dame Trianna’s crime was similar to that of my lord’s, but the biggest difference was that she had been redeemed whereas my lord likely would never be able to receive redemption.

If the baron won this battle and liberated the duchy from Lord Bastiche’s grip, Dame Trianna would definitely receive a pardon for her crimes once the war up north concluded. In other words, she had a future ahead of her, but my lord had nothing. Just like me, should I fail to relinquish my oath before the appointed time of his official trial. I still didn’t know whether or not I would do so, but either way, it made no sense that Dame Trianna would look up to me.

Dame Trianna shrugged. “Yeah. Out of all the knights, you’re the most impressive.”

“...How do you figure?”

“Well, Medrauta’s just... Medrauta, y’know? It’s not really realistic to compare myself to someone like her. Dame Marilyn is impressive, but she’s much older than me. Dame Krista’s an archer, so it’s not like I can ask her for pointers, and I’m not too familiar with the other knights. But you’re... You’re not much older than me, yet you’ve still managed to reach such an incredible position!”

“All for naught now. I doubt the baron will be willing to trust me anymore now that he’s discovered Lord Henri was a traitor all along. If anything, I’d be lucky to keep any sort of job in the duchy after this whole debacle is resolved. Besides, I wasn’t the one who earned this position. It was all thanks to Lord Henri’s efforts. Without him, I’m nothing.”

“...I don’t think that’s true, Dame Vera. The baron isn’t a man who would punish someone merely by association, and more importantly, you’re underselling yourself a lot. I’ve seen the work that you do with the troops, and although I’ve never been to the war room, I’ve heard about how you’re skilled in both tactics and logistics! When I first saw you, I felt like we had some sort of connection... Don’t you think the same?”

I frowned, not really understanding what Dame Trianna was trying to get at. The only connection I felt toward her was one of annoyance at first. I didn’t want to be pestered by someone who I would never be able to forge a true relationship with, and I felt like her fascination with me was born from novelty more than anything else. After all, my emerald-colored hair wasn’t common in the empire, and it was the first thing she had commented on.

“...Sorry, Dame Trianna. I can’t say I do.”

Dame Trianna giggled. “That’s alright! Honestly, I wasn’t expecting you to agree with me anyway! I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. I know I might be young and inexperienced, but I think you’re really strong and cool. You’re confident, you carry yourself gracefully, and you’re not afraid to stand up to Medrauta. She’s a friend, but she’s... Kinda pushy sometimes.”

“Tell me about it.” I grinned, recalling how the silver-haired knight had basically strong-armed the whole investigation into existence and basically pressured the baron into accepting Lady Viviane’s demands. The worst part was that Medrauta probably didn’t even know how much of an impact she had as the knight of a ducal heiress.

I sat in silence with Dame Trianna for a few seconds before turning to her. She was staring up at the ochre sky, admiring the orange-hued clouds that drifted by like clumps of amber. A surprising sense of peace settled over me as I watched the wind ruffle her beautiful violet hair, and I realized my heart had long scabbed over. My throat was no longer as hoarse, and my tears had all but dried.

“...Thank you, Trianna.”

Trianna looked toward me, her eyes widening in surprise as I addressed her without a title. “U-Um... You’re very welcome... Vera.”

I smiled at her apprehensive tone that sounded as if she were unsure whether she could address me as a friend or not. It was rather endearing, and had I been a couple years younger, it might’ve made my heart skip a beat. Alas, those days were far behind me, and what I needed now was not to reminisce about the past, but look toward the present and face the future.

I rose to my feet, offering a hand to Trianna. I’d shed enough tears for today. Tomorrow, the baron’s forces would sortie out, but I had made my decision. If even I could become a role model for someone like Trianna, then I would need to do my best to live up to those expectations. It was the least I could do to reciprocate those feelings of hers.

Yes. Tomorrow, I’ll stand by my lord’s side one last time.