The teenager struggled to stay focused after the encounter. She felt like her whole world had changed from learning that they did not recruit merely her for her talent, but for sounding like someone else. That the label was going to use her to be a copy of an already debut singer with more talent and charisma than she could ever have. It hurt to think about. The imposter syndrome she already had grew massive with this truth bomb. She worried that someone overheard the conversation and would tell the others why she was training with them. That everyone would look at her differently from that moment until she was cut. This anxiety remained the next day when she awoke and was brought with the others to train once more. Fern stood wearing sweatpants and a tank like before, only instead of buzzing with anxiety, she was frozen.

The reality of the situation just put her into a spine-chilling, all-encompassing shock. The conditions they had thrown her into made this horrible feeling worse. Like before, the company had them working in the unwavering heat with no form of genuine relief. But Fern didn't want to give up even with all of this on her shoulders. No, she had no other choice but to continue, even if her heart felt like it was going to rupture. Fern swallowed thickly before she bent down, her knees unlocked with her upper back going along with her. The blonde pushed her feet back to the end of her yoga mat. This allowed her legs to stretch out as she placed her open palms down. The mat was slippery from how badly she was sweating. She could feel her back strain a bit before her entire figure fully relaxed into the desired position. Still, she sat in place, waiting for guidance.

“Good.” Fern couldn’t see their yoga trainer, but she recognized the woman’s soft, almost whisper-like voice echoing in the room. The woman exhaled and padded around. “Continue with maintaining the form of the downward dog until the timer stops. Your bodies need to relax.”

If the teen had the strength to laugh, she would. None of the girls were relaxed besides Ariya, who was her typical calm self. The diet they had been put on left their stomachs crawling with hunger and they barely slept with the weight on their shoulders. Fern felt like she was going to break down the longer she stayed stretched out, her eyes beginning to water when she finally stood up. Her mind was racing as she tried to keep it together. The teenager would be lying if she said that she wanted to reject the woman’s offer. A part of her wanted to accept the golden ticket thrust her way. But Fern had the worst feeling about what would happen if she did. She wanted to use her own merits and skills to get into the industry and stay in it. But now that she knew her acceptance was tainted, it was hard not to want to throw those principles into the wind.

Because even with the short time Fern had been a trainee, she felt like the competition would swallow her whole. The night before she had spent dancing some basic routine repeatedly. Sweat had poured off of her body by the end of it with her instructor stating she was awful. Not rusty or an amateur, but awful. Fern along with half the class didn’t have even the basics down which made the older woman turn red in the face just from stating aloud. Even Ariya wasn’t safe from their teacher’s wrath, the brunette being called “too perfect” and cocky in how she performed the moves. The company wanted them to be trained, but not so trained that it looked robotic. Poised but not too poised so that their youthfulness came out in their facial expressions, whatever that meant. All the insults and critiques screamed to the blonde that she wasn’t good enough and would never.

So here she was now, the day after, shaking in her boots with her complexion rapidly becoming paler. Fern bit the inside of her mouth to starve off her appetite as she instructed the girls to get down on one knee and stretch outward. Her bottom leg felt a bit wobbly, but the teenager was able to maintain her balance. Others weren’t so lucky. From the corner of the teenager’s eye, she watched as Kimmie began to sway back and forth. She had her face scrunched up in a struggle to concentrate, with her body sweating a lot. More than the blonde had ever seen the younger girl sweat before. Right as the girl next to Kimmie began to notice her odd behavior, she dropped. Like a rag-doll, the teenager lost her balance and collapsed onto the ground. The room became so quiet you could hear each girl's chest go up and down as they breathed. The humidity of the room stuck to their throats as they all looked at their fallen teammate whose face was red.

Before Fern could say anything, the girl next to Kimmie dropped her stance and bent down to shake her shoulders. She kept shaking her, harder and harder, but the teenager didn’t respond. The girl recoiled and looked up at everyone with wide, blown-out eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong! She won’t wake up.” Hearing this the rest of the group, even Ariya, dropped everything they were doing.

Their instructor finally came over, having gone to get a rag and a water bottle. Robotically, the woman wet the rag before putting it against Kimmie’s forehead. Her airy voice hardened as she began to take control of the situation. “Everyone collect your things and head to the showers. Teacher Song’ll pick you up to attend an extra dance lesson.”

“But teacher…” Fern couldn’t stop looking at Kimmie as she stood up. How hadn’t she noticed that the girl had become so red? How hadn’t any of them noticed? “...please, let me stay with Kimmie. I’m the person responsible for her, so it’s only right that I stay behind to help.”

“No,” the older woman’s voice was stern as she looked over her shoulder at the blonde. Fern felt dizzy under her scrutiny. “Go with the others. You can’t help her.”

— — —

The rest of the day, Fern felt her emotions begin to bubble over. She didn’t see Kimmie again, but no one called the hospital. Instead, the girls crowded around a window in the showers to watch as they hurried her into a company van. While Kimmie was standing on her own two feet, it was obvious something was wrong with the teenager. The staff practically threw her into the van’s back seat before sliding the doors and speeding off. Witnessing this left the blonde with a hollow feeling in her chest. It was like the company didn’t want anyone to even know Kimmie existed outside of the company walls. All of them reacted differently to the incident. They weren’t given any time to recover as dance was just as hot as the previous class and lunch was sparse as usual.

No one was allowed to ask questions about her state as they’d be given the silent treatment, or worse, told it wasn’t that big of a deal. With these unanswered questions and the lack of food, the girls naturally began to turn on each other and lash out. They directed this anger at the girl who stood next to Kimmie the entire time, watching her condition get worse and worse. Fern recognized her from the room she shared with Ariya. The girl was quiet and kept to herself. Which allowed all sorts of claims to be thrown her way later that night when the staff were busy. The sound of arguing had woken fern up. Her eyes slowly opened, allowing her to see the blurry forms of what had to be seven girls in their room. They stood in all corners of it with a heated exchange being directed at one in the center.

“You let her get sick on purpose!” It was the girl Fern was in charge of in dance class. She was aggressively pushing her hands in the silent girl’s face, seething with anger.

Someone laughed and got off of their bed, hands on their hips. “Kimmie was always going to leave the program.” The short-haired teenager looked at the quiet girl, who made no move to defend herself or speak her mind. “She did us a favor by not saying anything.” 

The blonde felt sickened by the nonchalance. Kimmie could be hurt or worse, permanently unable to rejoin the program and the competitive nature of their environment had taken such a hold over them that they were glad it happened. Fern’s jaw dropped as she watched Kimmie’s friend direct her rage at the bob-clad teen, who rolled her eyes. Right now was a stronger moment than ever to use her position as the only named leader. But she didn’t know if the girls would respect her enough to listen to her reasoning. Still, seeing the growing animosity between the group angered her. How did the label expect them to come together when they were put against one another? Repeatedly, they had to hope for another girl’s downfall to even be considered for debut. And there was no telling how cutthroat the debut team would be when they joined it. Someone could easily bully Fern and any of the other girls out of the group if the other girls felt she was hindering them. A burning sensation filled her chest as she swung her legs over her bunk and stood up.

The group looked over in surprise. Some even looked embarrassed. It was clear that they hadn’t even thought of anyone overhearing their spat. The scowl on Fern’s face didn’t make the confrontation any easier for them. She walked over with her head held high, her confidence being fueled purely by the need to stop what could turn into outright harassment towards the shy girl. Said the girl, looking down at the rabbit slippers she was wearing, her hands balled into fists as she tried to stay silent. Fern wondered why she hadn’t said a single word in her favor yet. She could only assume that she felt like it was useless when so many of the team thought she was guilty of something so heinous. And even cheered her on for supposedly letting Kimmie get hurt. The teenager with the bob who said such horrible things looked irritated with Fern’s interruption. Huffing and puffing with her arms crossed.

Cautiously, Fern grabbed the silent teenager’s hands and muttered. “Are you alright?’ Hesitantly, the girl nodded, albeit it did not convince the blonde, but she accepted her response. “Good.”

“Why are you asking if she’s alright?” the girl that she recognized as a part of Ariya’s group dance spoke up. Now that Fern noticed, Ariya wasn’t here. But the lisping girl dashed that discovery by getting in her face. “She got your team member kicked out! Don’t you care?”