I wish I could crawl into a hole and hide…
This emotional instability I was experiencing wore down on me like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. As I walked back to Ivan’s home, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had said and done.
Why did I end up crying so much? My reactions were completely different from what I was used to and this knowledge burdened me even more.
By the time I reached Ivan and Dragan’s house, the sun was already setting, casting a familiar orange hue across the sky. For a moment it was as if I was still back in my own world, but I had a feeling I would never see the same sky again.
The brother’s flat was oddly calm, when I entered it and for a moment, I assumed that Dragan had gone out, until I heard some rustling from the kitchen.
Fearful that Dragan might walk out any moment, I avoided the door and instead stuck my head through the wall and noticed him searching for something in the kitchen cabinet. After a few seconds, he hummed with satisfaction, retrieving a frying pan and placing it on the stove.
Relieved that it wasn’t an intruder rummaging through their stuff, I pulled my head back from the wall and made my way through the hallway, eventually standing in front of Ivan's room.
I didn’t want to stay in the kitchen nor the living room to give Dragan his privacy after I spent half of the day shadowing him, so Ivan’s room was the only other option of a safe haven for me. Not that I really wanted to camp in his room either after my last interaction with him, but it made preparing our eventual conversation easier.
Without wasting more time than I already did, I walked through the door and entered his room. It was the same as yesterday with the added touch of a neatly made bed that gave the room an almost inhabited aura. As a ghost unable to interact with physical objects, I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy seeing his cozy-looking king-sized bed. If I had the chance to lay down on it for a few hours, I would’ve taken it, but alas…I was stuck to the cold floor.
A sigh escaped my lips, as I flopped down on the floor, lying on my back with my arms behind my head. It wouldn’t hurt to contemplate what kind of answers I should give Ivan later, when he inevitably asked me why I knew about his master. However, a wave of drowsiness washed over me, and I immediately understood why.
I had been on the move for almost half the day, never taking a break for myself—although the limitations of my ghostly form didn't exactly encourage rest. The accumulated stress on both my mind and body finally caught up to me at this moment. I tried to fight against it for a few more minutes, planning my responses, but eventually succumbed to slumber.
***
A calm breeze blew around me, while piano music played on an old radio. The lawn underneath me was neatly cut and surprisingly soft to the touch, which is why I had no issues with sitting on the ground. This scenery seemed somewhat familiar, but I had a hard time remembering why. I saw my reflection on the radio; a young boy with brown hair, a melancholic expression and a slim stature. I certainly didn’t look like I was 15 years old with this underdeveloped body.
There was something wrong about this, but I didn’t know what and quickly forgot.
Somehow I felt at ease, even though I was alone – or so I thought until I heard faint steps behind me. I turned around and noticed a plum haired boy, whose handsome face was familiar yet unknown to me. I had never met him personally and still, I knew all about him.
My lips curled into a smile on their own.
The plum haired boy stared at me for a few seconds with his mouth agape.
“Who are you?” he asked after he had memorized every inch of my face.
“I’m Rê-”
***
My eyes snapped open and I was disorientated. I had the distinct feeling that I had been dreaming, but the contents of my dream evaded me like so many times before.
It took a few moments for me to remember where I was and how I had shifted positions during my slumber. Two things were evident, the room was dimly lit and I could hear some sounds close to me. Straining my ears, I identified the sounds as the even breathing of someone seated beside me, but I hesitated to turn around, feeling growingly embarrassed.
The person next to me suddenly shifted, casting a shadow over my transparent body and face, as they checked whether I had awakened yet.
“Did you sleep well?” Ivan asked, voice tinged with exhaustion, as if he had forced himself to stay awake until now. What time was it anyway?
“Um, yes,” I replied, my voice uncertain and interrupted by a long yawn I couldn’t suppress.
To make it easier for both of us, I sat up facing Ivan. “Did you wait for me to wake up? What time is it?” Judging by the darkness in the room, I had slept for quite some time.
Conveniently evading my first question, which was a clear concession to me, Ivan glanced at his wristwatch before replying, "It's a few minutes after midnight."
A wave of guilt washed over me for making Ivan wait so long when he could have simply awakened me with a spell. I knew he had to be even more tired than I felt before my slumber and yet he had still waited for me patiently. It was another testament to his hidden kindness, and I silently resolved to express my gratitude properly once I regained my human body.
The room fell into a weighty silence, with neither of us willing to take the first step toward the conversation we knew we needed to have.
Just as I steeled myself to start the conversation, Ivan beat me to it.
“So, what’s it with my brother and you?”
Huh? Why did he pick this topic to start with? What do I even answer? I fell into immediate silence, feeling Ivan’s frosty blue eyes fixed upon me. The conversation was off to a rough start…
“Why are you so hung up about this?” I didn't appreciate being interrogated by Ivan, especially when he seemed to be acting strangely. Was his protective nature towards his brother boundless, or was I misinterpreting the intent behind his question?
“I have a feeling you haven’t been entirely truthful,” Ivan explained calmly, but I could clearly feel the restlessness and a certain edge to his answer. His expression may have appeared neutral to someone unfamiliar with his character, but having read two entire sagas about him, I could tell he was agitated.
“You followed my brother to his training, didn’t you?”
I would have loved to stay calm in a moment like this, but contrary to what reaction I had imagined myself to do in this moment, I averted my eyes guiltily.
Ivan interpreted my reaction as confirmation that he was right and pressed on. “That’s why you knew about our master.” His conclusion hung in the air, and I realized that his voice lacked the dark edge I had anticipated. It seemed like he had grown less agitated over the course of explaining his reason, and now he was more desperate.
“Rêve”, he called out my name breathlessly and way quieter than everything he said before.
I found myself looking back like I did every time he called my name. It was only natural, since when ever do you expect your favorite character to call your name like this?
“I’m not angry at you. Just tell me why you followed him.” His voice was pleading and anxious. More guilt and unease washed over me as I silently observed him.
This was a crossroad for me, and I had to make a choice. If I continued to lie to him, he might lose faith in me, which could potentially make things worse for all of us. My hands trembled uncontrollably, as I gathered all my courage.
Feeling dry, I pursed my lips, while nervous drops of sweat collected at my temple from the tension in the room. If I wanted a change in the ‘story’, I had to act now.
“Your brother is in danger.” I confessed, my voice strained and heavy with anxiety. As soon as I finished talking, my stomach twisted in knots. For every second that Ivan didn’t respond, my overactive mind conjured up horrible disasters, fueling my growing sense of panic.
Ivan’s eyes softened briefly, before his whole expression turned unreadable. “Why do you believe that?”
Taking a deep breath, I mustered the courage to push through the spiral of anxiety that threatened to cloud my mind if I hesitated any longer.
“I can’t tell you how I got this knowledge, but I know for a fact that someone is planning to kill Dragan.” My statement was filled with vagueness that made it hard to convince anyone, let alone someone as strong and observant as Ivan.
The weight of my revelation hung heavy in the air, the gravity of the situation sinking in with each passing second. I braced myself for Ivan's response, hoping that he would understand the urgency and take me seriously, despite all this vagueness.
take care~
ty fr the ch<3
thank you