As the foreign memories faded alongside their previous owner's life, my mind slowly returned to me. As I came to, I could feel that there was more left behind. More than just memories. Something fleeting and ethereal that I instinctively knew was slowly slipping through my fingers like sand the longer I waited around.
I wanted to process what just happened. I wanted to take my time parsing through the new memories that I was burdened with, the death that felt fresh, as if I'd just personally experienced it. I wanted a lot of things, but I knew I couldn't afford to wait. I reached out into the ethereal essence that was filtering through me, and much like with the glowing stones from before, I could feel possibilities suddenly fill my mind.
It was clearer than the last time. Perhaps because my mind was more lucid than when I previously experienced it. This time, I had the chance to stare into the ever changing possibilities. It was like trying to catch my own reflection in rippling water, each wave and valley contorting my countenance into bizarre and twisting futures , with each peak shattering further into fractals that strayed so far into abstraction that they were little more than concepts.
It was as beautiful as it was fleeting, because even as I stared into the endless, I could feel it slipping away. Every passing moment, the ripples grew softer and the possibilities began to fade. I could see a path before me. An oasis of tranquil surface that seemed to reflect a single possibility.
The me of that reflection appeared to be in the form of a stone spider. I could feel what it would be like to live in that new body. The form was fast, but fragile, It had plenty of room for growth, and seemed stable on it's feet. It was a decision that made plenty of sense, and I could feel my essence slipping towards it, almost against my will. It was good. I could tell it was an improvement...and yet, it wasn't what I wanted. I just couldn't bring myself to say it felt right, not for me anyway.
I pulled away, fighting against the current dragging me in, and I instead reached further out, further into the abstract waves on the outer edges. I could feel precious seconds slipping away as I mentally paddled through the possible futures cascading around me, but I felt I made no progress. I could feel my mind drowning in the eddies and flows that I fought against, unwillingly gulping in aspects I wasn't reaching for, but I continued to struggle. Finally, as the potential almost vanished, I found it. With no further hesitation, I dove into my new reflection.
-----
I snapped back to consciousness, bolting upright. Half of my body was covered in a now-drying layer of spider guts, and the air had an unmistakable chill, making me shudder, more out of reflex then due to actual cold. This body could sense cold, but doesn't seem very affected by it. The bioluminescent plants had seemed to have dimmed, now barely more then ethereal blue spots dotting the walls like fading stars.
'I guess this is what night-time looks like in this place.' I thought to myself as I got to my feet. I grabbed a nearby leaf and began to scrape some of the flaking blood from my shoulders when I....
Wait, Shoulder? And how did I pick up a leaf?
I looked down, the last few moments of concious thought now slowly flowing back in. It was... bittersweet. The memories of my companion's final moments in particular dampened the feelings of victory in my otherwise successful endeavor, but my gamble had paid off.
I stretched my arms out in front of me and appreciated them. At the end of each arm, I had two small digits that acted like a single finger and thumb, making them look like robot claws. I took a look at the rest of my body by turning my strange spatial vision inwards. My body now looked vaguely peanut shaped, giving me a defined head and torso from which my limbs sprouted. Even my legs had gotten a bit better, with more defined segments and a knee. What surprised me most were the several different layers of hardened stone that seemed to be on my face and a few limbs, reinforcing them. It must have been one of the aspects I accidentally "swallowed" before. The one on my face clearly had taken its shape from a spider's head, but on my bulbous form,it looked more like a strange little knight helm. I didn't seem to have gained much mass anywhere during the change this time, but that was fine. I was now humanoid again! Well, mostly.
All of the changes were clearly stolen from the Spider's aspects. My limited digits was due to the fact that my body technically classified them as "legs". 4 legs used as fingers, 2 legs used as arms, and 2 legs used as actual legs capped out my new limb control at a spider's normal 8. My new body shape was from standing a spider's form upright, while the layers of stone were probably from some kind of chitin or exoskeleton. Sadly, I didn't have the ability to shoot webs or climb walls, but the effect seemed to synergies well with my previous aspect of mobility. I found my tiny body now much more lithe and easy to balance than a top-heavy, peanut-shaped clay man probably should be.
With my newfound dexterity, I began tidying up the remaining leaves as I covered the body a little better. As I was shifting around, I could tell that my body was missing something structural, similar to the pebbles I had used previously as a psuedo-skeleton. My limbs all worked still, but I knew they were weaker than they could be. Most of the support fell onto my new hardened exterior, which I'm fairly sure was not designed to bear the load. I mentally added it to my to-do list and stepped back to look at my handiwork.
The leafy funerary wrappings looked more like I was about to try and grill the body rather than bury it, but it did its job well enough. I bowed my head and gave it a moment of silence.
'May you rest in spider Valhalla, Thornwalker.'
Straightening up, I took in the world around me once more. The gently glowing blue dots scattered across the walls painted a strange sense of serenity. Outside the range of my clear vision, I could vaguely see the ruddy red glow of some kind of firefly or glow bug darting around the cave roof, and the only sound breaking the solemn silence was an echoing chirp that reminded me of pond frogs from my last life. It was tranquil now, but I knew that could change at the drop of a hat.
I looked back down at my body, still diminutive by every definition. My new arms that I had been excited for were barely thicker than the stems of the leaves I was carrying, and certainly couldn't save me from being crushed by a giant.
'Survival, huh? Can I do it? I remember some old wilderness survival books I read, but none of them covered being turned into a clay munchkin. Or being stuck in a cave. Or magic spiders....'
I walked up to a small, funnel shaped plant and shifted one of my sharper rocks into my hand like a makeshift hatchet, using the two fingers as an improvised binding before taking a couple swings at the stalk. It took more time than I would like to admit, but after a moment, I had the small plant freed from the ground. I trimmed off some of the excess foliage the same way. It was a hefty stalk for someone of my size, but would make a good walking stick, or improvised club if any more bugs wanted to try and eat me.
I thought back to the memories I saw, of a strange little tribal settlement of spiders.
'It could be a good start. It may not be a human civilization, but it's something. If I can figure out how to properly communicate, they could help me at least get situated long enough to form a plan of action. Not to mention, informing them of Thornwalker's death is the least I could do, though I might limit my involvement in the version I tell them.' I thought to myself as I looked around. I was trying to understand where I was based on the rapidly fading memories he had imparted to me. After some walking around the cavern, I finally spotted a landmark I recognized. A great stalactite that had merged into the cave floor, creating a colossal pillar that reached up into the darkness beyond my sight. Somewhere up there was the tribe. I guess I have to test my new arms with a climb.
--------------
Hours must have passed by now. I could see neither the top nor bottom of the great pillar that I was adhered to. I was stuck on a dizzying column suspended in inky darkness, only broken up by the yellow-orange fluttering of the strange fireflies at the furthest reaches of my vision.
'Just one hand over the other. Don't look down, you're fine.' I repeat the mantra to myself for what had to be the hundredth time as I climbed. The good news is that my earthen body makes the climb surprisingly easy, since my amorphous clay can seep into the porous surface of the column with little issue. It's like climbing with suction cups.
The bad news is that climbing for hours has given me time to think, and that hasn't been fun. I tried to recall my own memories, but they are hazy and distant. I realized, depressingly, that I probably died in that life. Perhaps my mind was gathered into some kind of essence, just like the spider, and just floated through the void until I found those magic rocks...
Right. The magic rocks.
I guess I have to come to terms with that too. This place is alien, hostile, and huge. But above all else, appears to have real, honest-to-god magic. I mean, hell, look at me. I'm made of dust and clay! I've not got a brain, but I'm thinking still! No organs or anything, I checked! The only thing I found inside me when I started looking with my strange vision, was a small blue crystal and the tiniest grain of golden sand.
The crystal, I could tell, was somehow left over from the spider. It might be what housed my ability to use these arms even, but I didn't want to remove it to check. That experiment can wait for later.
The grain though, that was different. It shifted freely through my body at my whims, but when I moved It near the surface, I felt a primal sort of panic. I nearly lost my grip and fell down the wall at that time. It took me a moment, but I realized why it felt different then. It struck me all at once, the answer feeling as if my body had supplied it instictively, perhaps a built in failsafe to keep my "species" from accidentally offing themselves?
It was me. Like, the actual me. My heart maybe? Everything outside of that, all the clay and legs and form, that was just to house my heart. I could live without those extra bits, even if it stung to lose them. But this heart, my heart, that was my entire existence.
Everything I was, was contained in a literal grain of sand. I couldn't help but shudder.
I decided to try and distract myself, first counting how many steps up I made, then trying to see the extent of my vision, and then, by extension, counting the distant fireflies. Or perhaps, not so distant...
I had to do a double take when I realized that the little orange blurs swimming around the edges of my vision had suddenly gotten brighter. I only had a moment to realize I was in danger before my body was engulfed in a roaring blaze.
As the licking flames surrounded me, the last thing I saw was the pillar slipping out of my grasp before I fell.
