I sat frozen for a moment, before my instincts screamed at me to move. I managed to shadow leap away right before a flaming spear impaled me. I reappeared short of my goal, my mana stores almost drained. That left me stumbling into the side of a mongrel. My reflexes spurred me to strike it with my blade and it dissolved. 

I felt crackling energy at my back and glanced behind me in time to see Kivani trying to close the tear. He had a wide stance, his arms stretched out in front of him. Blue holy fire poured from his fingertips into the black void of the tear. 

In my absence from his side, a few mongrels were approaching him, though the blue fire was giving them pause. I ran back towards him to guard his back, my legs protesting the exertion. 

I cut down the nearest demons, benefiting from their preoccupation with the holy fire. I repositioned myself in front of Kivani, though I kept myself turned to the side so I could monitor his progression with the tear. 

To my excitement, the tear was shrinking. But of course before I had a chance to celebrate, another demon squeezed in through the tear. Kivani, too focused on his task, didn’t give her much mind. He must either really trust me, or just be too absorbed in closing the tear to bother. 

I shot flames at her, but to my surprise she sent them right back at me. A fire affinity. Great. Fortunately my attack did divert her attention away from Kivani to me. 

She hovered above the ground, kept aloft by black leathery wings. If only I had my own wings right now. She gave me a long considering look and then sent a wave of flames at me like she couldn’t be bothered to come down here. I managed to divert the flames, but only barely.

“It’s done!” Kivani exclaimed, falling to his knees in exhaustion. The tear was gone! 

At the sound of Kivani’s voice the flying demon’s attention whipped to him. She quickly landed and started walking toward him.

“Kivani,” she called out in a kind voice that definitely did not match her appearance. 

Kivani froze and slowly turned his gaze to the demon. When his eyes fell upon her, they widened in shock. 

“Mom?” He said, his voice breaking with emotion. 

“My son,” The demon cooed. 

“It, it can’t be you. You’re dead.”

“It’s alright, I promise it’s me.”

“Kivani! Snap out of it. Whatever soul fuels it, it's still just a demon. Hurry up and kill it with your holy fire!”

But Kivani was still frozen. He just watched as the demon slowly walked up to him. If this demon really did possess the soul of his mother, he would want her to be purified. But if the idiot didn’t do it quickly, he was going to end up dead. 

Tears streamed down Kivani’s face. He slowly raised his hand, blue flames sputtering weakly in his palm. 

“You wouldn’t hurt me.” the demon said softly. 

It actually seemed like she was right as the flames Kivani had summoned went out. Did he have some sort of deathwish? 

I saw the moment the demon stopped the act. It lunged forward claws aimed at Kivani’s throat. My blade impaled her before she could reach him. She slumped lifelessly and I kicked her off my blade. I shuddered at the exertion of the shadow jump to Kivani’s side.

I turned to make sure he was okay. Our gazes collided and I was taken aback by the anger in his usually soft green eyes. 

“You killed her.” He hissed, his words coated with venom. 

“I saved your life, you idiot! You were just going to let her kill you!”

“You damned her soul!” 

“Only because you were too much of a coward to purify her!”

We were interrupted by an attacking mongrel. Kivani deftly disposed of it with his sword. He seemed to realize the fight wasn’t over and turned his furious gaze away from me. With Kivani’s light show of holy fire over, the mongrel demons were reapproaching. However, the other low ranking demons were gone. Likely off to wreak havoc. But the single minded mongrels remained, too blinded by our presence to consider fleeing. 

With the tear closed, our best bet was to get back to the safety of the town. But with two wounded men, it would take a miracle to survive the journey back while carrying them. I assessed my mana levels, trying to gauge if I had it in me for one more jump. 

“Give me some of your mana.” I ordered Kivani. He gave me a questioning look, his eyes still radiating anger at me. 

“Look, do you want to die here or not!”

He scowled and then grabbed my hand, channeling a measly amount of mana to me. I wasn’t sure if the small amount was due to his anger or the fact that he had depleted his own mana stores. 

This would have to do. When he tried to let go of my hand I held fast. I then quickly dragged him over to the two unconscious Clunaics and grabbed onto them. I tried to ignore the nearing demons as I focused on a mental image of the town. Then I bended space around us and pulled us all from the clearing into the dusty streets of Warthford.

Immediately spots danced in my eyes. I struggled to remain conscious as I felt a buzzing fill my head. I guess I may have taken on a little too much trying to transport everyone at once. I could feel myself falling but couldn’t cajole my limbs into responding. 

I felt strong arms catch me and lay me down on the ground. I tried to open my eyes, but darkness descended upon me and my consciousness fled.

***

I awoke slowly, my mind traveling the various gradients from unconsciousness to awareness. When I’d fully awakened I kept my eyes closed as I assessed my condition. I felt utterly drained. I had no idea how much time had passed, but however long I’d been out, it didn’t feel like I’d rested long enough. My body ached with emptiness. The absence of my usual mana levels left me feeling like I was starved of energy. Plus I could also go for some food right about now. 

I weakly stretched out the mana I did have to scan my immediate surroundings. The exertion left my body feeling tingly in all the wrong ways, but it did inform me that I was currently alone in a room. I could sense some mana signatures not too far away, but I was too drained to try to read who they were. 

I slowly opened my eyes. I was in my room back at Warthford's church. I sat up, testing out my physical capabilities. My shoulder ached dully from my stab wound. And of course it had to be the same shoulder that had gotten shot with Kivani’s holy fire. That poor shoulder just couldn’t get a break. 

I surveyed my body, but beyond my bandaged shoulder, the rest of the damage seemed to be just some bruises and shallow cuts. Really my mana depletion was what caused the most discomfort. 

You killed her. Kivani had looked at me with such fury. I shuddered at the memory, uncharacteristically bothered by his anger toward me. Sure we had argued before, but he’d never seemed more than annoyed or frustrated with me. It never escalated to outright rage. He’d never look at me like he’d hated me. Like he wished death on me. 

Sure, I’d sent his mom’s soul back to the Demon Realm, keeping her from purification. But I did it to save his sorry life. Plus, it’s not like her banishment to the Demon Realm was necessarily permanent. Though I guess it may not be very likely for a large enough tear to open for her to be able to enter the human realm again. 

I felt my thoughts spiral negatively as I mulled over how I did everything completely wrong in that situation. No, this was stupid. I shouldn’t be feeling guilty for saving his life. He was the ungrateful one to blame me for her demise when he could have easily purified her. 

Now I was feeling angry. What was the point in helping humans when all they do is repay you with hatred. I was done with this ‘being human’ thing. All the emotions. Being compassionate and kind. They were all such a waste of time and effort. If every good deed truly went unpunished, then I wouldn’t be caught dead ever doing a good deed again. 

I’d gotten what I’d come for. I’d seen the human world. Experienced what it was to be human. What more was for me here? I’ll tell you. A whole lot of nothing. That’s what. Consider my curiosity about humans cured. 

Plus, I had my ticket back into Cifer’s good graces. I now knew without a shadow of a doubt that Kivani did have a holy fire affinity. It would have been nice to know more about how it worked and why he had it, but regardless, Cifer would be intrigued. What he planned to do with that information, what he planned to do with Kivani, was no concern of mine. Kivani had made it abundantly clear what he thought about me so I owed him nothing. In fact maybe I owed him a little hatred in return. 

I think it was past time I went home. 

I dangled my legs over the edge of the bed and then gingerly stood up. I felt a little wobbly, but I soon stabilized. I noticed a fresh set of clothes set on a chair and my boots on the floor by the door. I changed as quickly as my aching body would allow. 

Once I was fully clothed I braced myself for the inevitable strain. I gathered up all the mana I could and jumped. I landed roughly on my knees, my hands saving me from a face plant. I panted heavily as I waited for the black spots to clear from my vision. I’d barely made it to the forest outside the town, but that was as far as I could manage right now. 

Now to get home. The quickest way to get back to the Demon Realm was to die. But suicide was totally not my style, even if it wasn’t a permanent death. My self preservation instincts just wouldn’t allow such a drastic act of self harm, no matter the convenience. 

But going out gloriously in battle. Yeah, I could live with that. Or rather, I could die like that. I just needed to find some demons to fight. In my current state it probably wouldn’t be too hard to die while also not just letting it happen. 

I wanted to summon Lamentation for my final stand, but I just didn’t have the mana for it. My angelite blade had been abandoned during the battle, but it had been enchanted by Cifer himself to return to my dimension pocket after a while of disuse. So while I may not be able to access it now, it would be ready and waiting for me in whatever dimension I found myself in. 

I stood up straight, preparing myself for my death. I thought about changing back to my demonic form, but decided against it. Even if I did have enough strength to transform, I kind of liked the idea of dying as a human. There was something poetic about it. Like I was killing off my humanity so I could finally return wholeheartedly to who I really was. In a way, while my death wouldn’t be permanent, the death of my human persona would be. Ara the human would die so Samara the demon could be reborn. 

I heard the telltale growling of some mongrels through the trees. I felt a thrill of fear cascade through me. Despite knowing I would die, I couldn’t help but fear it. Despite the fact that I could regenerate, I’d never died before. Oh, I’d come close for sure. But I’d never actually died. Well, I guess there’s a first time for everything. 

I caught sight of two mongrels clamoring through the trees, searching for prey. When they noticed my presence they immediately made a beeline for me. Well, no time to second guess now. 

I dodged the first one clumsily, but was already out of luck when the second one bludgeoned me in the stomach. I was knocked back a few feet and miraculously managed to stay on my feet. I ran forward, punching one of the demons in the jaw. I laughed darkly. My punch barely did a thing. It actually seemed like my attack hurt my hand more than it had hurt the demon. 

While I was chuckling like a maniac, the other demon slashed my side with clawed fingers, sending me staggering back. Before I could recover from the blow the other demon lunged forward, its jaws open to bite me. I fell to the ground, narrowly avoiding the sharp yellow teeth.  But the demon wasn’t bothered and just lunged again. 

Looked like this was it. As far as deaths go, this one was pretty lame. As the moment stretched on a realization filtered in that froze my heart. I was human. My transformations were absolute. So if I died in my human form would I regenerate? Or would I die permanently? Terror stole my breath as I cursed myself for the oversight.

Just as the dripping maw of the demon was approaching my face, something slammed into the mongrel. The demon was pushed off of me. The demon screamed as it was consumed by blue flames. The other demon soon suffered the same fate as its companion, burning to dust in the holy fire. 

I closed my eyes in relief which quickly morphed into frustration. Looks like I’d completely failed at dying properly. How pathetic was that? 

“Ara! Are you ok? Please, you have to be ok. Wake up!”

“I’m not asleep, you idiot!” I moaned at Kivani, opening my eyes to meet his fear stricken gaze. His eyes widened in relief. 

And then he was hugging me. Holding me tight as if he would never let me go. His arms trembled slightly as he squeezed me to his chest. Some of my injuries burned in protest at the pressure, but I didn’t complain. 

Why was this so comforting? Why did I enjoy the touch of a man who I was sure hated me? Why was I not so sure he hated me anymore? 

After what felt like forever, but at the same time didn’t feel long enough, Kivani pulled back. He gently laid me back down on the ground.

“What were you thinking?” He whispered, as if he spoke too loudly I would somehow run away again. “When I went to check on you and you were gone…” He trailed off, his eyes searching mine. 

I broke eye contact, feeling guilty at the hurt I saw in his gaze. How could I have known he cared whether I lived or died? This was his fault after all. But I couldn’t muster the energy to be mad at him. 

“But what about your mom?” I asked tentatively, scared his previous anger would return. 

“That’s why you left?” He asked incredulously. “Ara, I was just upset that she wasn’t purified and I wrongly directed that anger at you when the person I was actually angry at was myself. You did nothing wrong and I’m sorry I made you feel like it was your fault.”

I nodded. Well this complicated things. Do I still try to go back home to the demon realm or stay here? Stay here, with him. No, regardless of whether he hated me or not, he’d seen some of my actual abilities. There was no hiding that now. It was only a matter of time before he put things together. 

I tried to sit up, my stomach throbbing painfully. I definitely had some broken ribs, plus that nasty gash in my side that was leaking blood. 

“Don’t move!” Kivani warned, gently easing me back to the ground. “Let me look at your injuries first.”

He scanned me, noting my bleeding side first. His forehead wrinkled in concern and he quickly tore a strip from his cloak to bind the wound. He helped me sit up so he could wrap the fabric around my torso. I hissed as he touched my stomach, my broken ribs protesting the pressure. 

“What is it? Where else does it hurt?” He asked in a worried tone. 

“Just a couple of broken ribs. Nothing to panic about.”

“You seem altogether unfazed by the fact that you almost died.” 

“Well, maybe I’m just not as uptight as you.” Kivani gave me a look that said ‘you’re being impossible’. So I gave him a look that said ‘I know, and I don’t even feel sorry about it’. Though despite my nonchalance I was rather relieved I hadn’t died. At least while I was still in this form. 

Kivani sighed. “We need to get you to a healer. I would try to heal you here, but I’m not very good at healing so I would just end up wasting mana.” 

“It’s fine, I’ll just walk back to town.”

“Are you insane, you will be doing no such thing in your condition. I’ll carry you.”

“I’m not some invalid. My legs are still perfectly functional.”

“Sorry, I’m not debating this.” He said. Before I could protest more he lifted me into his arms and stood up. 

“Unhand me!” I exclaimed, kicking my legs halfheartedly. To be honest I quite enjoyed being held by him. But of course that information was totally unnecessary for him to know so I had to at least pretend to protest. 

Kivani just smirked knowingly as he began walking back to town. 

*** 

My ride in his arms was over far too soon as we reached the church and he settled me back in my bed. 

“I’ll go get the healer.” Kivani said. “Stay here.” He gave me a stern look.

“Okay, okay. I won’t go anywhere.”

I narrowed his eyes at me. “You’d better still be here when I get back.”

“I said I wouldn’t leave!” He kept staring at me. “Just hurry up and get the healer.”

“Fine.” Kivani strode from the room. 

I had a strong urge to hide under the bed just to see his reaction when he returned to see me ‘gone’. I snickered to myself as my mind fantasy played out. But crawling under the bed would probably hurt my wounds so alas, I had to give up on the idea. 

In Kivani’s absence, my thoughts were consumed with indecision. Should I still go home? Should I stay here longer and try to figure out more about Kivani’s holy fire? Would he figure out I was the demon he’d fought before? If he didn’t figure it out, how would I explain my abilities? It’s not like mind and teleportation magic were even remotely close to fire magic. 

But before I could spiral down further into my doubts, Kivani returned with the healer in tow. He was the same older man who had healed me before, with his short salt and pepper hair and his kind gray eyes. 

“Seems like you’ve already managed to get injured again, even though I just checked on you this morning.”

“It seems so.” I agreed. 

I sat up so the healer could unwrap Kivani’s makeshift bandages and inspect my wounds. He felt around my torso, pressing lightly on my stomach. I held my breath as he felt my broken ribs. 

After a thorough examination he said “You’ve got three broken ribs plus the gash in your side. Though fortunately the cut isn’t too deep. I still don’t have any stored mana to heal you so the best I can do is bandage you up.”

“You can use some of my mana to heal her.” Kivani offered. 

“Are you sure?” The healer asked. “You’ve been using up a lot of mana recently to help heal your other comrades.”

“I’m fine.” Kivani insisted. 

“You don’t need to use your mana on me. I can just heal the old fashioned way.”

Healing naturally was such a literal pain, but it wasn’t unbearable. 

“No, I want to help heal you.” Kivani pressed. 

“If you wish, Sir.” The healer conceded. 

The healer held out a hand which Kivani grabbed. I was a little confused at first but when the healer put a hand on me I realized that Kivani must plan on channeling his mana through the healer. Last time I’d been healed it had just been with stored mana, but I guess mana could also be transferred through a human conduit. 

I felt the foreign mana trickle into me. Being healed by a healer was a strange sensation. On a rudimentary level, almost anyone could help speed up healing by transferring mana, but it took more finesse to actually target heal. 

The mana snaked its way through my body, pooling in my stomach. I felt a mildly itchy sensation as my wound closed up and my ribs mended. Then I felt the mana climb up to my shoulder and finish healing that wound as well. 

By the time the healer lifted his hand, my wounds were basically gone, except for some light scars. Though while my physical wounds were gone, not enough mana was transferred to refill my depleted mana stores. I guess I would just have to wait for them to replenish naturally. Which hopefully wouldn’t take long now that I was healed up. 

“Thank you.” Kivani nodded to the man. The Healer bowed and then took his leave. 

“Feel better now?” Kivani asked, turning back to me. 

“Yes.” And no. Maybe I felt physically better, but that didn’t solve the issue of what I should do next.

“You ready to talk about why you decided to run away into a demon infested area when you were already half-dead.”

“I don’t know.” I said aloofly, crossing my arms. 

Kivani sighed. “What were you trying to accomplish by leaving?”

I didn’t answer for a long moment, trying to concoct a story in my head. I eventually decided to go with a half-truth. 

“I was going home.”

“Why? And why now all of a sudden? Please don’t tell me you were leaving because of what happened with my mom. Like I said, I don't blame you. I was just upset.”

“That may have been part of it, but I had other reasons too.”

Kivani cast his gaze to the floor. “I’m sorry I made you feel like her death was your fault. As soon as the battle was over and we were back in town I knew I needed to apologize. But then you were out for four days…”

“Four days?” I exclaimed. This was the first time I was learning how long I’d been unconscious. 

“Yeah, you were severely drained. I kept checking on you to see if you’d woken up. I was starting to really worry, but then I came in this morning and you were just … gone…”

“How did you even figure out where I went?” I wondered aloud. 

“Suetin helped me with that. He did a scan for you and saw that you were in the forest and demons were nearby. I got to you as soon as I could.”

“So, he’s okay?”

“Suetin? Well, he’s alive. Though okay may be a relative term. He’s stable now but his left leg is gone.”

That was rough. A disability like that was not easy to deal with. Especially when your whole career centered around your ability to fight. Being a Clunaic may not be an option for him anymore. 

“What about Nicolev?”

“He’s all healed up now, though it was a pretty close call. But Pratz and Sterkin are dead.”

That wasn’t news to me. And to be honest I didn’t really have the energy to care about their deaths. 

“But don’t change the subject. You were telling me about the other reasons you decided to leave so suddenly.”

“Was I now? I seem to recall just saying I had reasons and leaving it at that.”

“I don’t think you're fully healed up because your memory is clearly not working.”

Memory. I could wipe the memory of me using my true affinities from Kivani’s mind. He had been the only one to see me use my real magic so I wouldn’t need to worry about fixing anyone else’s recollection of events. But a nagging feeling told me that Kivani’s mind wouldn’t be as easy to manipulate as Brietta’s. I’d take my chances for now leaving his mind intact. 

“Oh I think you’re the one with the faulty memory.” I teased back. 

Kivani’s face became serious again as he said, “Does it have anything to do with the fact that you have affinities other than fire? And multiple ones at that.”

I looked away, still not ready to face the consequences of letting him see my magic. 

I turned back to Kivani, my gaze steely. “I don’t think it’s fair that you get to ask all the questions. So I have one for you. What’s up with your holy fire affinity?”

Kivani stiffened, clearly uncomfortable with this line of questioning. Well, served him right. I wasn’t the only one who revealed secrets. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you anything about that.”

“Well, in that case, I can’t tell you anything either.”

Kivani gave me a long look and then held out his right hand.

“Want to make a pact to be each other’s secret keepers? I won’t tell anyone about your multiple affinities if you don’t mention my holy fire affinity.”

“Sounds fair enough.” I grasped his hand, giving it a firm shake. 

I tried to pull my hand back, but he held on. 

“Do you think I could convince you to come back with me to Luton.”

“I should probably go home…” I said halfheartedly. Why was it so hard to say no to this man? If I wasn’t careful, I’d never end up leaving. 

“Please? I’ll make you a delicious pie.”

“Well, I guess I could come with you for a little while. But once I have my pie, I’m out.” I declared. 

“Oh, but of course. That means you won’t mind me making cookies after you leave with your pie.”

“I’ll be gone, so you can do as you please.”

“Noted.” Kivani gave me a knowing smile, sensing my desire for more sweets despite my nonchalance. 

“Speaking of food, I’m starving. Is there anything good to eat here? I don’t think I can last until you get around to making pie.”

“Of course. I’ll go get you something right now. Just sit tight.”

“I much prefer sitting loose if you don’t mind.” I accentuated my statement by flopping down on the bed. 

Kivani rolled his eyes, and left to go gather me sustenance.