I sat alone in English. Parker didn’t show up. Part of me wanted to be sad, but the other part of me was scared. I was relieved he wasn’t here. Over and over again I replayed the fight. I was shocked at how strong Parker’s punches were. The fact that blood splattered from the guy’s nose to his surroundings… How could there be so much blood after two hits? I didn’t recognize the guy he was fighting. To be honest, he looked older than a high schooler, older than Parker. 

I reach up and touch my chapped lips.

I kissed him… I thought to myself. In my head, one of the blows split the guy’s lip. 

English was spent with more time writing our college essays. My list I jotted down the first day I met Parker had only a few ideas on it. Nothing meaningful or important, but ideas to say the least. As much as I wanted to focus on my school work, I couldn’t. It felt like Kate all over again. Too fixated on a troubled person, too worried about them, too worried about what I can do.

There was nothing I could do. If anything, I was worried to go near Parker.

I take my pencil and begin doodling simple flowers in the top right corner of the lined paper. The students around me were chatting or writing intently. It felt odd as all the sounds were amplified inside me. The scraping of graphite onto paper, someone shaking their leg up and down non stop, the breathing of the girl in front of me.

The school’s automated bell system rang, jolting me into shock as everyone began cleaning up their stuff and filing out of the classroom. I grabbed all my things and left last, not wanting to rush myself. Right as I stepped through the threshold of the door, I stumbled back as a looming figure stood before me. 

Parker. His chin was bruised and his eyes were dark. He lowered his chin that was freshly shaved and met eyes with me. The eyes I remembered loving to meet with were no longer there.

“Hey, what did I miss?” He asked in a happy tone. It was definitely forced. His throat sounded thrashed. 

“Nothing,” I said and slid by him. 

“Are you sure?” He asked as I tried to stride away.

“Go ask the teacher if you want to know,” I hollered as a knot of spit formed in my throat. All I could feel was my mind telling me to stay away from him, he’s dangerous. I don’t know what that guy did to make him snap, but I don’t want to test his patience. 

“Kim, hey, wait,” Parker called out and I heard his footsteps follow me through the tile hallways. I then feel my heart flutter in fear as a hand lightly grasp my wrist. Nothing hard, but that could have changed. “What’s up?”
“I saw you fight this morning,” I whirled around on my heels and met gazes with Parker.

“Fuck,” Parker let me go and ran his hand through his hair. “Look, that was something else.”

“Why were you hurting that guy?”

“It’s not your business.”

“Okay, then I don’t want to be around you then,” I huffed as the words automatically slipped through my tongue. 

“What?”

“If I don’t know why you did what you did to that guy, then I don’t think I want to be around you.”

“That’s not fair. I can have my own business.”

“Fine, and I can make my own decision like you told me to and keep myself away from danger.”

“I’m not dangerous,” Parker huffed and put both his hands in his leather coat. He sighed and looked to the right with a frown.

“Right, you punching a guy until they’re gushing blood out of their nostrils and split lip isn’t dangerous. No,” I scoffed and shook my head.

“Kim, come on.”

“I need to know why.”

“No you don’t. You’re not my girlfriend or mom,” he blurted out. 

My chest twists, right in the heart where his words stabbed me. I tear up, but he’s right. I’m not his mom, and I’m not his girlfriend. I let out an uncomfortable laugh and backed away from Parker. 

I turned on my heels and stormed off. I didn’t hear Parker come after me. I felt relieved and sad.