Parker led me out of the neighborhood I was familiar with. We entered town and passed a few shops that were closed for the night. I began shivering, not because I was cold, but just because I was still shaken up about what went down at my house.  Parker was by my right side the entire time. Every few steps his arm bumped lightly into mine. I worried what it was, until I realized it was just him walking and not meaning anything more. 

We stopped outside a gas station. Parker waved his hand and I hesitated, but followed him inside. 

“Hey,” Parker greeted the guy at the front counter instantly. 

“Another tough night?” The guy asked, not returning his hello or welcoming him into the gas station.

“Yeah, but for her,” Parker answered and pointed over his shoulder at me. 

“Yikes,” the guy, maybe in his late forties, cringed at me for a second. His eyes became sympathetic. “Go on back, I’ll have to take you out by midnight when I record the money in the cash register.”

“Thanks man,” Parker said and started walking towards the back of the brightly lit gas station. I trailed behind like a toddler following their parents.

When we approached the employees only door, I panicked as Parker opened the door and held it open for me. 

“What are -” 

“Just come,” Parker sighed and waved for me to follow. I put my head down and entered the back area. 

There was a bathroom instantly to the right and a hallway leading down to a small office with the door propped open. We walked all the way down the hall and into the small closet sized room. Parker sat down in the cheap office chair. I found a folding chair, opened it, and sat down on the freezing metal. Parker turned to the computer. On the desk was the manager’s name, which I assumed was the guy running the front Parker talked briefly to. 

“What are we doing here?”

“Somewhere safe to chill for a few hours. Gives your parents time to calm down and for you to get away from them while they hash things out.”

“Why this gas station? Do you work here?”

“No, I don’t work at the moment. I got to know Tod up front over time. Had a rough night, and he offered that I stay back here for a couple of hours whenever things got rough for me…” Parker said with a soft tone. It sounded like he was choking on the words coming out of his mouth. “Somewhere safe and public to be during late nights like this.”

“You come here often then?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. He didn’t look my way.

Things felt like they were making sense while still bringing up more questions to be sought. 

“You sound like you know what I’m going through…” I said carefully.

“Worse,” Parker turned in the chair and looked at me. He bit his lower lip. “Let’s just say, I’m glad you weren’t in the middle of the argument and you’re physically fine.”

I looked down at my hands that were still shaking. I didn’t know how to respond. Just earlier today, Parker refused to tell me what was happening. Now, with my issues, he was opening up to me. I was confused, he was sending such mixed signals. He didn’t want me prying, but now he was there for me no matter what the situation was? I felt flustered and closed my hands.

“Is that why you fought earlier today?”

“Fuck no,” Parker scoffed in a entertained tone. He smirked lightly and rolled his eyes. “That was my guy who gets my cigarettes. He’s been overcharging me out of the ass recently and didn’t give me my pack for the week. I lost it, to say the least…” Parker groaned lightly and rubbed his eyes. “Not proud of it, but it is what it is.” 

“Oh…” I said, feeling somewhat relieved. I worried that he was fighting for fun, or for something else. To me, it sounded like an okay enough reason to have a disagreement, but not a full on fight. “But when you say you’re dealing with stuff, it has to do with what’s going on at home then?”

“Yes,” he simply stated. Parker began shaking his right leg up and down and he grabbed a pen and paper from the printer. He began doodling a bit while the two of us sat in silence. 

“Doesn’t help to talk about it?”

“Nope.”

“My parents always said talking helps.”

“It helps them, not you…” Parker shrugged and handed me a pen and paper so I could doodle as well.

“I mean, sure they want me to tell them what’s going on and when.”

“Do you get in trouble when you tell them everything?”

“Yeah… I guess.”

“Sounds like they just don’t respect your privacy.”

“How would you know?” I paused and watched him focus intently on his drawing, not glancing my way once. “You don’t know my parents personally.”

“I’ve heard enough.”

“Okay, but it’s your turn to share with me.”

“What kind of things do you like doodling?” Parker smiled and faced me, finally. 

“Don’t change the subject. It’s not fair I tell you about my life and you don’t share about yours.”

“It’s not fair that your parents taught you to be invasive of personal space like they’ve done to you all your life,” Parker suddenly stood up and glared down at me. “I shared as much as I could with you, and you’re not pleased. It’s big for me, but not enough for you. I’ll be right back,” he walked out of the office and back to the main part of the gas station. 

My eyes teared up. I never liked when people raised their voices at me. My parents used to yell at me anytime I made mistakes or hid stuff from them when I was younger. Parker was right… I when I had no personal space or privacy, it was easier because my parents knew and I was compliant. 

God, I was being so pushy… I thought to myself and wiped the tear away. I laid my forehead in my hands and took deep breaths. 

I heard footsteps coming back. I sit upright and see Parker walking back with two paper cups that were steaming. He sat down and handed me the warm cup. 

“Coffee?” He asked. “It’s vanilla cappuccino.”

“I don’t drink coffee, but I can try.”

“I’ll drink it if you don’t like it.” He said and lightly sipped on his cup. “It’s hot.”

“Aren’t you upset with me?” I blurted out as the warmth of the cup comforted my hands. “I was being a bitch.”

“You backed off,” he shrugged. “I told you what was wrong, you stopped, it’s fine.”

“But you were mad.”

“Yes, I can get upset, but I can also move on from it.”

I sat there confused. I hadn’t experienced that. Everyone I knew held a grudge, everyone always reminded me of my mistakes, even Justin would…  I didn’t know what to say or how to respond. 

“Relax,” Parker said and kicked his feet up onto the desk.

I felt anger rise up in my chest. I remembered he hurt my feelings earlier today. I didn’t know how to move past them like he did. How could he not hold onto being hurt? How could he not feel the guilt of being in trouble for something I wronged him over? 

“You hurt me earlier…” I whispered.

“What?”

“You hurt me earlier today…”

“When you wanted me to tell you why I was throwing punches?”

“You said I wasn’t your girlfriend.”

“Hmmm,” Parker hummed and lifted the cup up to his lips. He sat silently for a moment. 

“It hurt because I want to date you.”

“Despite everything that happened?”

“Yes,” I firmly stated.

“Sorry,” he sighed and set his cappuccino down. “That was wrong of me to say.”

I sat in silence. He said sorry, not blaming me for pushing him to snap in the first place. I did, I was forcing him to tell me something he didn’t want to share, and he slipped in annoyance. It was my fault, but he is still sorry? 

I looked down at my coffee and watched a tear drip into the froth on the top.

“I want to date too, but I’m scared to,” Parker whispered and rubbed his arm. He turned and faced me with his entire body. “My life is so dangerous, I don’t want to hurt you with it…”