My dreams were strange fragmented things.

It was early when I woke; a sound brought me to consciousness. I blinked, realizing it had been the door to the bedroom shutting.

I cut my eyes to the mimic, panic ready to burst from my chest. It was sitting innocently on my clothes, right where I’d left it. It radiated amusement.

“Asleep.” Said Veru’s voice, muffled but just audible from the living room. I sat up slowly and quietly, suddenly wide-awake and focused. “Breakfast should...”

I strained my hearing, slowly moving forward on the bed and praying for it not to creak, trying to make out the words.

“She… not...” Jen responded. “I do not like it.”

“Do you… … go willingly?” What I could hear of Veru’s voice was cutting.

“... No.” Jen responded. “No… … the best path. She returns… … luxuries in the Capital… … indebt her family to Zom… … a good plan.”

“... it is. You devised it!” Veru’s voice was louder now. It held laughter. “... fitting; we merely pacify… … entitled, unruly chit she is. Any harm we commit pales… … harm the utter fool could… … Zom’s name. Much better… … back to Sandwich.”

“I will need...” Jen replied, his voice resigned. “The dosage—”

“Do not worry, husband… … faltered?”

Their footsteps echoed. I heard a door open. The shut door of the bedroom creaked as the air pressure changed. The front door— it had to be. They were leaving.

Holy fuck. I needed to not be here when they got back.

I slid out of the bed and let my feet hit the floor. The mimic stayed a coin pouch, but its full attention was focused on me, its amusement fading.

I eased the door open a crack and looked out. There was a blanket and a pillow on the longer end of— had they slept out there on the couch? Why would they—!

What the fuck? Did they give me their only bedroom to sleep in? They didn’t even know me! Who does that?!

I got dressed in record time. The mimic’s coin pouch self tracked my movements, laying on the bed where I’d moved it. I grabbed it, wrenched open the window that looked out onto the small backyard, and asked, “If I drop you first, will you turn into something soft I can land on?”

It shivered.

“Don’t run off.” I said, tossing it out the window. Then I jumped through, hung from the windowsill as I dropped down, and let go.

—

The sun was just rising as I put the town of Zom behind me.

Veru and Jen had been… Shitty. And … also weirdly nice and kind? But they had been talking about drugging me, I’m pretty sure, so…. Yeah. Shitty.

Seriously, Fuck Zom.

So now I had a grand total of two-and-a-half potatoes to last me howeverthefuck long. And it wasn’t like I could just pop into a town and get more, not if that was how the locals were gonna act.

(I refused to feel bad about taking the rations. I needed to eat too.)

The mimic transformed back into a chest once Zom left the horizon. I looked at it, but didn’t bother arguing. It was gonna do what it wanted— I was just glad it was willing to disguise itself around other people, because otherwise things could get awkward.

I had no idea where I was going. The chest clearly did, since it was leading, but I wasn’t in the mood to get fussed about that. It had saved my life twice. Sure, it didn’t like to listen to me half the time and it was way too aggro, but I didn't think it was an enemy. To me, anyway. No telling how bad things would get if I left it unattended around other people.

I didn’t stop walking until I hit a stream. Which was new— I hadn’t encountered it on the way from the dungeon gate to Zom.

Speaking of…

“Hey, chest.” I said. It kept walking along beside the stream, but I felt its attention and interest focus in on me like a laser pointer. “I— I think we gotta go back to Hooham.”

It slowed, turning to stare at me.

“I need my rations.” I said. “And that wand— the arcane wand, the one you gave me?” I paused, thinking. “Oh, and my seed crates would be fantastic, too. Those were fucking expensive.”

It stared at me more. I stared back.

“I figure we could probably sneak in late at night.” I said. “With you as a coin pouch. If you eat the crates for me we’d be in and out in maybe thirty minutes, tops.”

It stared more.

“I can’t eat dungeon monsters.” I said, exasperated. “The potatoes from Zom are gonna be gone in, like, two days. I really need the rest of my rations back.” I sighed. “If I wasn’t a fugitive I’d just go buy more, but...”

The mimic radiated disinterest. It turned and started walking again.

“Are you serious?” I hissed, abruptly done with its shit. “I am not walking all the way back to Hooham! We’re all the way up near the border to Zeecht!”

It paused without looking back, then kept on stomping along.

Anger flashed through me, quick and hot.

“Well, fuck you too!” I shouted. I glanced around, then sat down right there beside the sloping bank of the stream. “I’m not going anywhere if it means walking the whole way! Deal with it!”

That got its attention. It spun, stomping back towards me.

“Yeah?” I goaded. “What are you gonna fucking do abou—”

It transformed.

It had hooves. And great white-orange-red wings with feathers that curled and floated on the air like flames. A bull’s body and head with jeweled golden ram’s horns.

It grew its arms and grabbed me with both three-fingered hands, pulling me onto its back while I yelled, then reversing the joints and holding me there.

“WHAT THE FU—”

It started to run. I held on for dear life.