A kaleidoscope of broken shapes and colors. Such was the first memory of this "Me," or instead, such was her only thought. After all, no other memory was available to her. At that moment, this sensation was the only reality she had ever known and would never know. She was sure of it. At least, she was as certain of it as she was of who she was.

 

No, that was a bad example since she knew nothing about herself. From birth to death, she understood nothing. Yet she kept looking into her Soul, the countless shapes and colors, and the many cracks around her. Or was it inside her? She needed clarification as to which was the correct answer. But, in the end, did finding the answer really matter?

 

Was there even a correct answer, a universal Truth to her existence? Could she manage to grasp all the nuances of her existence? This "Me" was afraid of discovering the answer... Yes, far too scared to give up. After all, the discovery of her own Truth was the reason for her existence. After all, she knew nothing about her surroundings and had nothing to hold on to in this World but herself.

 

At least, logically, that should have been the case. Unfortunately, her Identity, as was her Desire, was a mystery to her. So what could she hold on to, if nothing at all? Everything seemed strange to her, whether it was the World or herself. Nothing made sense, except... Yes, except for the beautiful Void that had accompanied her from the very beginning. However hazy, memories of her last hours were slowly coming back to her.

 

Gradually, a faint smell of salt water emanated from the fragments of shapes and colors. It was a strange sensation but comforting at the same time. What's more, the reflections of the fragments soothed her mind. No, that wasn't quite right. In fact, melancholy seeped into the very depths of her being. A feeling came from this kaleidoscope of incomplete shapes and colors, which, like countless mirrors, reflected their emotions back to her.

 

So, these feelings were hers to begin with. They were the emotions of this particular "Me", the one most terrified of finding herself without a defined Identity or Desire and most attracted by the Void's beauty. She still didn't know why such feelings were reflected in this space of broken shapes and colors.

 

No... The real question was: why was she witnessing this kaleidoscope where nothing seemed to belong? Why was she there? Why? Why?? Why??? Why!!! No sooner had she uttered such outrageous words than the fragments began to spin around her. An infinity of shapes and colors faced her while she was seized with vertigo. She could feel the throbbing heat inside her mind slowly devouring her very existence.

 

Unfortunately, she was powerless to resolve or even alleviate the situation. The only solace was her infinite reflections in the infinite mirrors... Or so she thought. Indeed, mirrors contained no light, no heat, no sensation. Nevertheless, this was different from the Void or Nothingness. Unlike those two, the prohibition of the existence of anything was an active property of mirrors.

 

So these fragments didn't seem to be in their natural state, even if I didn't yet understand what their true nature, their unmistakable Truth, was supposed to be. Much to my chagrin, I'd find out the hard way in the distant future... and in the distant past. What I could understand, however, was that I must never look into those mirrors again... I didn't want to die forever.

 

Indeed, only a feeling of extreme oppression lurked in its mirrors, lurking for the slightest prey to prey on. Only a deep, disquieting, haunting, and fascinating darkness lay in the mirror. I was in pain, but I couldn't take my eyes off that absolute blackness. I had the unpleasant impression of having seen such darkness somewhere before.

 

However, my mind was still too asleep to search for information in the many folders and files stored in my essence. Anyway, I couldn't blame my mind for being too lethargic. After all, I was too sleepy to do anything useful here. The most I could manage with difficulty was to follow the thoughts my mind produced in reaction to my mysterious surroundings.

 

Thoughts that seemed to belong to another being, or at least to an incomplete part of me. I didn't really have any thoughts apart from those imposed on me. Everything was absolutely empty, like the Void itself. This was probably why I loved her. We were alike, and nothing in this World could change that truth.

 

If only I'd been perfectly suitable then. Not that I'd been wrong to assume that, far from it. But I had never doubted that my faith in the Truths to which I vainly clung would never waver, whatever the circumstances, my relationship, and my integration into society. I sincerely regret having made such a mistake for so long.

 

Fortunately, I have rectified my thinking, enabling me to get to where I am today. However, I certainly would have kept everything I'd built up if I hadn't made such a mistake. On the other hand, this loss allowed me to return to my first impressions of this World and to reconcile myself with my emptiness. Honestly, I'm jealous of having had such a relationship with the Void at the time and having wasted it on such a senseless quest.

 

Of course, I don't blame you, my dear System. Our meeting was inevitable and necessary. Nevertheless, I still wonder if my mistake had been paramount in standing before you, before my past... and before my Void. What am I saying? I must learn to keep my mouth shut, even if my Successor will have to know about this one day.

 

Did you think I'd forgotten you? Of course, I'm rambling, but I'm not senile yet! Well, I'll let you in on a secret. I'll never go senile simply because I'll never die of old age. Besides, I don't know if I should be boasting about such a situation... Ah! I know! What do you think, my Successor? What do you think of such a death? Okay, I get it... We're not here to talk about such a sensitive subject for some people... So, let's get on with it!

 

I didn't know how many hours I'd spent staring at those mirrors... or were they staring at me? It didn't matter because only the emotions that could be felt through them counted. Even if those feelings were negative. After all, it was only through these emotions that I felt alive... and deeply unhappy. Fortunately, my affliction soon subsided when I felt a connection so dear to my being.

 

A connection I was confident I would never forget, for it was what still allowed me to survive in this World. Then, I remembered why I had begun my journey in this World. Of course, I had yet to lose sight of my purpose. It had simply become a dull, tasteless, meaningless piece of information.

 

Despite this knowledge, I had slowly lost the motivation to undertake such a journey, even though I was still in its infancy. Worst of all, I knew the source of my exhaustion. As much as I wanted to pretend otherwise, my need to possess Desire and Identity was too strong and, above all, too overwhelming. If I didn't get to the Truth about them very soon, I didn't know what act I'd commit against myself.

 

Even if the act in question repulsed me because of all the pain I might then feel in the depths of my being, the urge grew stronger by the day. But did I really want such an end? Suddenly, the Void wrapped itself around me. At least, that's how the strengthening of our connection and of the Void itself appeared to me. I smiled inwardly at the thought that I was safe as long as the Void was by my side.

 

To my dismay, nothing lasted forever. Even the reassuring presence of my Void. Indeed, gradually, the confusion of my mind disappeared, while the kaleidoscope of broken shapes and colors flickered. Gradually, the Void seemed to regain control of my being while the colors flickered between their colored state and shades of gray.

 

A question surreptitiously arose: did the colors exist, or were they pure illusions that the Void was constantly ridding me of. Was I right to consider this view of shades of grey as a valid and authentic experience? What was Truth? Above all, why did this question matter so much to me in the end? Just as I was about to think further, I was seized by a feeling of total paralysis.

 

Moreover, the mysterious landscape changed completely when I realized I was unfamiliar. The mirrors whirled faster and faster around me as they cracked into more pieces. I felt as if my very existence was being torn to shreds, as I seemed to be heated and cooled at the same time.

 

To my dismay, this suffering could not be externalized by tears or consciously forgotten by a mind too eager to possess more memories. Like every negative experience I'd ever had, it had left a lasting mark on my being. My only comfort was to remember that I didn't need to sleep in the first place.

 

So I didn't need to confront all the times I'd nearly died in possible nightmares. How did I even know that nightmares existed when I'd never experienced one since I first woke up? Unfortunately, this question remained unanswered as my etheric body convulsed violently.

 

An absurdly long time passed, during which I felt as if a fundamental property of my being had been forcibly removed. Strangely enough, my mind didn't fight against this modification of my very being, as if... But yes...! How stupid of me! I sighed, reassured by the knowledge of the phenomenon unfolding within me and my apostle. It was finally time for my first accurate payment since waking up.

 

I woke up with a start. Or was it my apostle... I wasn't sure, as our consciousnesses awoke simultaneously. So I was able to reconnect fully to Systalia's body and... As I'd feared, her body... I sighed bitterly while my etheric eyes lowered for a brief moment. Nevertheless, I pulled myself together as I strengthened my resolve.

 

So I closed my eyes and concentrated on the information coming from her Body. I focused on the non-existent pulsations of her heart, on her breathing that never came, and on her body that refused to move. No, that last statement was incorrect. It wasn't a refusal but an impossibility, as if a law of Nature prevented such action on the part of her body.

 

Still, I found the Void even more prodigious. After all, it had the power to irrevocably alter the laws of Nature for particular existences. Even more astonishing was that it could achieve such a feat with disconcerting ease. I'd be lying if I said I didn't envy it, even a little, for possessing such unheard-of power. However, this observation raised a question in my mind.

 

How could the Void be sealed when, at first glance, it seemed to possess power beyond measure? I was dubious about this situation, which should never have existed in the first place. Strangely enough, I felt as if I had some responsibility for the whole affair. My lips pursed, my eyes squinted, and my gaze drifted nonchalantly toward the distant horizon of the etheric plane.

 

Unfortunately, my action was to no avail. No matter how hard I tried to probe my mind for past Void's memories seal, I found nothing. All I could see was the memory I'd miraculously obtained from... From where again? My left hand instinctively went to my wide-open mouth while my eyes squinted.

 

Cold sweat broke out across my body as I desperately tried to recall how I had obtained the memory of my past. But my search was fruitless, despite my certainty of having traveled to a strange place. I even vaguely remembered having mixed feelings about the place, although I couldn't remember exactly what they were.

 

That question was for another time. After all, insisting further wasn't getting me anywhere at the moment, and it wasn't even my priority at the moment. Indeed, the real problem I had at the moment was... Through my apostle's eyes, I observed the carnage... or rather, the absence of any trace of battle. The ground was flat as if the land's rise and fall had never occurred.

 

What's more, I wondered where all the bodies were... and I was terrified of the answer. My gaze lingered on the perfectly smooth and clean floor one last time as I involuntarily swallowed. Of course, it was likely that the Void was the culprit, but... my intuition told me that another entity had taken delight in these humans, even before the Void could react.

 

I didn't want to know about the entity capable of devouring the corpses of Academicians. No, I decided to ignore my intuition for now. So I made a brave decision: I shook my head frantically for a moment before returning to the landscape. I was embarrassed when I realized the obvious: the puddles of dubious liquids had disappeared. I sincerely wanted to slap myself for my stupidity.

 

In fact, as I scanned the corridor in front of our room, I saw the absence of corpses, liquids, spikes, and other traps. The corridor appeared safe as if it had never been a perilous place. Nevertheless, I knew the Truth, and that horrified me a little. Places could change so quickly... When I envisaged an expedition into the Academy, I could never have imagined that the most significant danger would be the environment itself and not the Academicians.

 

Yet, it became apparent when I thought about it a little longer. After all, hadn't the environment always been my worst enemy? Lately, my enemies have mainly been people, but I should remember that the environment heavily hampered my first steps in this World since my awakening. The World was undoubtedly dangerous, or maybe I just hated it.

 

In any case, the environment had been my greatest enemy, the one that had nearly killed me the most times. What's more, the environment was my most terrifying enemy, because it seemed to be ruthless and had no loopholes to exploit. The environment was, therefore, a perfect enemy in every way. Nor should I forget that my first enemy had been the environment.

 

Indeed, the first time I'd left the bloody room, I'd been through ordeals that almost killed me when I returned to the same room against my will. Although The Book could possibly have been the cause of my suffering, it was always through the environment. In itself, The Book had never hurt me directly, which actually surprised me a little.

 

What's more, the environment was far more horrifying than any of the people who wanted to harm me and my sister. I took one last look around before sighing heavily at our current situation. My sister wasn't moving, but I knew she'd live.

 

Even if her heart stopped beating, even if she stopped breathing, she would survive. After all, the sole purpose of these functions was to make it easier for my apostle to blend in with the humans. They were of no use to her survival. The real worry was that communication between my sister and me was proving impossible, as not a single muscle in her body was functioning.

 

And so ended our first expedition to the Academy as intruders in a Kingdom to which we had not previously belonged.

 

Yes, I had strengthened my Will and was again ready to face new dangers.

 

At least, that's how I always tried to convince myself and my sister, to no avail.

 

After all, I've always preferred to flee danger for safety.

 

Always.