Who are you? Why did you get your hands on this text? How did you come into possession of this object? Don't you know? Don't worry... Yes, if you can see these first three paragraphs, you're not the person I'm writing to. And don't worry; these memories will find their way back.

So, read and learn from these memoirs. I hope you interpret them differently than I do if you even get anything out of them. But I'm not too worried about that. Since you're here, maybe fate wanted to show you these memories from another time.

How would you begin? How would you write about an unraveling past? How would you have the strength to write this? Ah... I know... You're expecting me to start... So, it would seem that the time has come... It's hard, but it's got to be done! Memories can't wait forever!

It's been a long time since my birth. A thousand years, to be exact. That's how long it took me to acquire this position. This power. This reputation. And you obviously know it. But what you know less about is my rise and the secrets of this world. For the two are intimately linked. I could never have lived until today if I didn't know the dark mysteries of this entity.

You, the one who will take my place, my successor, I'm going to reveal to you the ways of what is generally mistakenly called "Nature". But I'm also going to tell you how I subverted the order of this world, of this System. You should know, however, that as my memory is less and less clear, I may need to be more faithful to the totality of these events. I hope to render enough of them correctly. Well, I really must hurry!

Before we begin this journey, I have a few more warnings. This journey will have no joy except brief moments of warmth, excitement, and euphoria. But... Wait, I've got to catch my breath... Well... This trip will be laborious, sad, revolting, and unfair. Anyway, you should contact the idea. You won't witness a rise to power with little or no loss, as you might in most fictional hero stories. Because my reality, reality, hasn't been so kind... Even though, in retrospect, I should have expected it…

But then... I've already felt too sorry for myself, and I don't want you to waste your time reading the complaints of an old person... Well, I'm not that old compared to some people. Compared to some people, that would be laughable indeed. It's just that I've been through so many experiences that I feel their weight so much inside me, that I have to walk so far into my past... that I have to believe so much in my old age.

Ah... I'm digressing, aren't I? I know... and I'm sorry in advance, but you'll hear me ramble sometimes. But why? Another purpose of this memoir is to finally take stock of my life, free myself from these tormenting feelings, and eventually move on. But I'm sure you already more or less understood that. Just as maybe you can understand what it's like to want to get these feelings, these guilt feelings out in the open. And if that's the case... then I hope you'll be able to get there one day, too.

Well, that's it... You've waited long enough. I'll get started then. So sit back and relax because we've got a long trip ahead. Ah...! One last thing, and I promise we'll get started right away. Because my life has been so long, I've divided it into several books for each significant stage. Now, wait a minute! I know you'll tell me you've only got one book. Don't worry; close the book, and another will automatically appear in its place if you want to continue. And sorry... but you can't cheat. You have to read the whole thing for it to work!

Well then, let's get started! I'll begin with... 900 years ago. Let's say we're in -900, which isn't wrong since my ascension resets the calendar. I could talk about the hundred years leading up to that date, but you don't need to know the events. Not yet, anyway. Besides, you still don't know my name, do you? Well... you'll find out soon enough. So don't worry if certain events seem missing because I promise to reveal everything... or almost everything.

Ah, how I still remember that day! My slow awakening as my eyes tried to open with pain and difficulty. My physical sensations gradually returned. And... the pain I felt immediately afterward. My only thought at the time was to want to die to put an end to this torment. Add to this the anguish of seeing nothing but a shapeless blur around me, and I had an unstoppable panic attack. It has to be said that I have a great fear of the dark. If that wasn't enough, I felt an intense urge to vomit, and my insides burned. I almost thought I was going to pass out.

Fortunately for me, during the whole experience, I could hardly move. My entire body was paralyzed, tetanized perhaps by its own condition. But... all good things must come to an end... or not. The best part was about to go at last! Reality confronted me as my sight disappeared, followed by all other senses, all sensations. It was a bizarre state indeed – no sensations at all. All pain is gone. Only my own emptiness to contemplate.

And apart from an initial existential fear, I felt a lasting peace. I was a peaceful being. A soul, emptied of all substance, that nonetheless seemed more real than ever. Whether in the past or in the future. Experiences of a slow death of the spirit and a feeling of completeness. My psyche, my identity, was dying, and I knew this was what my soul was missing... It was my unspoken ideal. My spirit acquires an identity by passing. Yes, I was the Void. Yes, that concept is so intangible and terrifying to many living beings. And yet, I was its incarnation. And that's all I needed to understand.

It hurts me to know that I'll never be able to witness such an experience again... Well, this is my punishment, after all! Let's stay positive! I know, you think I have a twisted mind. I may do that. But so what? What difference does it make? I'm still a sensitive being with a goal, even if it's self-destructive. Even if I experience it, I must stay away from the whole world, in solitude, waiting for my soul to wither. You know, I'm going to confide in you.

I don't know why I have such an unhealthy obsession with the Void. Of course, before this experience, I didn't have this obsession. However, I was also primarily dull and tired of everything. A doll with a dormant soul. But after this experience, the doll woke up. It was only by disturbing the stability of my soul that it came to life. Now I understand why it all ended the way it did. It couldn't have ended any other way.

What do I look like from the outside to the reader reading this? If worse comes to worse, you can always write a review of this book. There's no room, you say! No problem! Write about the text, and the magic will take care of the rest. And if this experience has disturbed or confused you, you can close this book because it's nothing compared to what's to come.

Unfortunately for me, this state was not an eternity. And I woke up, weary, my muscles begging not to be used while convulsing faster and faster. I honestly thought a shredder was shredding me. Especially as I was only slowly regaining my sight. Until... it all stopped. All at once. In a single moment. Phew! The pain was gone. And I could think more clearly. The relief was short-lived, however, when, with my new-found vision, I realized what I'd seen.

Yes, that was it. I still remember it. Every detail of that moment. And that's normal. After all, I was so upset by what I'd just seen. And who wouldn't be. I was a monster... Bloody bars lined with dead human bodies, equally bloody, skewered in their own weapons. Similar walls, similar floor, similar stairs, similar dais... and as I lifted my head... a similar ceiling. It was too much! It couldn't be possible. I had to be dreaming. And, of course, my hands... no! My body wasn't spared the remains of the carnage. What did I expect, that I'd be immaculately white? No, because it could only have been me and me alone who had perpetrated this act. I was alone. No other source of living life. There weren't many possible conclusions. And she wasn't wrong, but she wasn't right either. But that's irrelevant for now.

It's strange, but I wasn't affected by any of the feelings I was experiencing at that moment. I was empty but in a very different and not soothing way. This is what's known as dissociation, the mind's protection against overly trying experiences. In short, trauma. And still, to this day, I can see the blood glistening everywhere, the expressions on all those people's faces, terrorized, horrified, worried, desperate, despondent, fearful, crying, pleading... and maybe we'll stop there. I really need to calm down. It's okay, it's okay!

Where was I? Ah yes! This experience has left an indelible mark on me, even if this horror is far from my greatest sin. I've done far worse, but let's not be in a hurry to see horrors! And we'll see them soon enough. For better or worse, this experience left its mark on me, perhaps not because of its brutality but because of its primacy. Yes, I had no memory of my life before this event! I quickly realized this as I struggled to search my memories, only to find emptiness. Emptiness, not nothingness, because I was still aware of having had memories. And that was more than enough. So, let's not dwell on that.

After a few minutes, I stood up, traumatized and aware of my amnesia. Suffice it to say, I wasn't in the best of shape. I was in an unfamiliar room, disorientated, with no one to help me and no knowledge of my past. There was one thing I did know, however: I couldn't stay here, or I'd be executed, or worse, my soul destroyed. I didn't know why, but I knew. Perhaps it was a remnant of my memories? I'd never understand.

As I thought this, I noticed the room more clearly. I was still very uncomfortable and had a tough time looking around. After all, this blood and these bodies were everywhere, even in places where they shouldn't be. I started thinking about the ceiling. How was it that bodies were hanging from the ceiling? What allowed such a fantastic thing to happen? No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't see the shadow of a lost memory that could guide me in solving this question. I put this question aside and focused on a more urgent task: leaving the room.

Then I looked behind me and saw a bloodstained wall a few yards away... but nobody. I was a little relieved to find only blood. It was still a bizarre reaction, in retrospect. In fact, on closer inspection, I found nothing but blood on the platform where I'd been standing. Nobody. Nothing at all. Better still, below me were geometric shapes gleaming with an unhealthy light. It instinctively sent a shiver down my spine, though I didn't know why. What I did know, however, was that the cause of my current amnesia had to be this. I was convinced of it.

The light was half-transparent, tinting its immediate surroundings with a faint veil of changing colors. Not all shapes had the same colors, which changed with the passing seconds. There didn't seem to be any pattern or order behind these color changes. If only I'd known back then how wrong I'd been! But never mind, now I know the true meaning of these shapes, these runic installations. For yes, these installations encode multiple runic magics, some mighty ones. Well, I seem to have lost my way again. This isn't the time to prattle on about such complex magics. There's a specific order to learning! And I'd be happy to be your teacher! It's a pleasing profession, after all…

Well, let's get on with it! As I looked around, my gaze was drawn to the bottom of the stairs. There, an unknown closed book was laid out. I was so hypnotized by it that I didn't realize I'd descended the stairs until I touched it. And even more mysteriously, I didn't know why I wanted to take this book. I wanted it more than anything at that moment.

But what a surprise when I tried to open the book. The clasp prevented me from opening it as if some supernatural force were at work. And maybe it was... with the mystery of the ceiling, that made two. One more mystery wasn't really going to ruin me. I scanned the room one last time and didn't see another significant object. In fact, this place was really stingy on objects if you didn't count bodies as vulgar objects.

I exhaled one last time and decided to walk through the room. I passed horrific bodies dripping with dull blood. The blood joined together in putrid pools, enjoining me to curl up my nose. The smell was so strong that I nearly fainted several times. Add to that the tightness in my chest and the deep malaise the smell instilled in me. I don't think I really need to say why. I moved forward, one step at a time, trying to dodge bodies and blood as much as possible. I didn't want any more blood on me!

I inspected the walls, ceiling, and floor a little more. And apart from a color palette ranging from black to light gray, and frankly ugly, I didn't see anything incredible. I wondered who the madman was proposing such a depressing and alienating color palette. This alone made the room all the more hostile, disturbing, and unsettling. I continued walking, still paying attention to my surroundings, until…

Until I found myself in front of the bars. Beautiful bars with refined patterns, but colors just as drab as the drab. It's a faded gray, basically. These extended all the way to the ceiling, which didn't make it easy to open the door. To my dismay, it took several minutes to open this heavy, imposing door... just as gray as the rest. Looking back, it was somewhat laughable that my whole environment suggested despair. Well, some days are like that! That's life! And it was with my mood at its lowest, I left this room and all the emotions it invited me to feel... at least for a while.