Sabre stared out toward the wilderness as the massive gates of the Grand Citadel thundered shut behind her. In honor of her selfless service to the High Council she had been granted the most noble of quests:

Go into the Untamed Lands and claim the head of the Goblin King.

The Goblin King was the great enemy, the reason why the Grand Citadel was even built. It was said that he and his kind scoured the land, perverting it with their foul blasphemies and insatiable hunger. Not even the great Wizard of Forms could slay him, but now it fell to Sabre. Her pack, laden with enough food for the road and a map to get to her destination, felt heavy on her back. This was it, her chance to prove to everyone and herself she truly believed in the Citadel. She let out a long held breath and began to walk forward.

"Hai, gob!"

The knight nearly tripped, frantically grabbing her sword from its sheath and shakily pointing it at the source of the voice: a small green woman leaning on a nearby tree. She smiled a wide sharp-toothed smile, red eyes shining with mirth.

"You go to gobbie land? I take you!"

A goblin. Sabre sneered in disgust and kept her blade in hand. "Back off, creature. I seek the head of the Goblin King, and I will not be swayed by your tricks."

The Goblin tilted her head. "No tricks. I lead you there!" Sabre readied herself as the goblin reached behind her back, only to produce a tattered map. "Has shortcut to gobbie land." Sabre stood her guard.

"A fake map to lead me astray, no doubt," she said with a scowl before starting to leave. "Be gone, imp. I have no time to waste."

The Goblin simply smiled as Sabre walked through the deepening forest and soon she was out of sight. The knight shook her head, unsure what to make of the encounter. Why was a goblin here at the Citadel, and why would it help her? "No matter," she said to herself, and continued.

---

It wasn't long before Sabre grew thirsty, the water in her pack barely enough to last the day. Fortunately her map led her to a stream that glittered in the sun; unfortunately a wicked looking hag floated in the water, muttering dark hissing incantations in a garbled tongue. Sabre drew her sword and pointed it at the hag.

"Foul creature," she shouted, "you'll not pollute this fair stream anymore!" She would cut down this evil beast and save the water supply, just like a real hero. She steadied herself, locked eyes with the hag, and-

"Hai, gob!"

The goblin from before was seated on a rock, smiling at the knight. Sabre scowled at her, annoyed at how good her hair looked in the light.

"Begone, goblin, this hag is poisoning the stream and must be slain."

The goblin tilted her head, still smiling. "Did you talk to her?"

"...what?"

"Did you talk to the hag, gob?"

Sabre looked back to the hag, who simply floated peacefully eyeing the two women.

"I...uh, don't speak hag."

"Ooh, gobbie help then!"

The goblin leapt from her seat and approached the edge of the stream, hissing and waving. After some time the goblin returned.

"She no poison the water," she explained. "Stinky stuff come from Big Wall, made river taste bad. She trying to fix." Sabre looked at the water and saw a thin trickle of oil flow downstream from the Citadel, no doubt from the city's massive factories.

"...oh. Tell her I'm sorry?"

"No worry, I did!" said the goblin proudly. "Oh, take this!" She reached into her pack and produced a small canteen. "It full of water!"

Sabre looked skeptical, but knew she'd dehydrate if she waited. Without a word she grabbed the canteen and left. No matter how much she drank, the canteen never emptied. 

---

Some time passed before Sabre grew hungry, the food in her pack having long since run out. Fortunately the map led her to a grove full of fruit trees; unfortunately a giant muscle-bound troll stood nearby, and as Sabre approached she swung her club and shouted intimidatingly. Once again Sabre drew her sword. "Wicked brute," she shouted, "No longer will you hoard the treasures of this orchard." She would liberate the fruit from this troll so all could enjoy it. Heroes did that...right? Sabre locked eyes with the troll and took a step towa-

"Hai gob!"

The goblin was there again, this time hanging upside down on a nearby tree branch with her skirt flipped inside out. Sabre looked away, blushing at how cute her tummy looked exposed by gravity.

"This brute has seized this orchard, and I-"

"Did you talk t-"

"No, no I did not."

"Gobbie help again!"

And so she did, approaching the troll swinging her arms and growling. After a tick she returned.

"Not steal," she said. "Bad seeds flew from Big Wall, made fruit die. She warn."

Sabre looked and saw the trees bore a sickly mold. She had seen the same thing happen in the farms close to the Citadel. The knight looked down, unable to meet the eyes of either troll or goblin.

"Oh, gob look hungry!" exclaimed the goblin as she produced the parcel that smelled of cooked meat and fine spices. 

Sabre took the package wordlessly and continued on her way, lost in thought. No matter how much she ate, the jerky never ran out.

---

After days of travel Sabre finally arrived where the map led her: a small rustic village filled with goblins nestled in a quiet, lush valley. Fortunately this was where the map ended; unfortunately this was a far cry from the palace of steel and blood she was promised, but by now she had learned there was much she had been lied to about. She looked around, waiting for a familiar vo-

"Hai, gob!"

The goblin that had been with her through her travels stood in the doorway of a small house. "Still looking for Gobbie King to slay?"

Sabre looked down at her sword before turning to the goblin with a wry smile. "Not anymore, but it would be nice to meet him. Know where he is?"

"Come inside, gob!"

The knight had to duck to enter the small house, but the tight fit made the inside that much cozier. The goblin led Sabre to a living room furnished with simple furs and soft wood; a humble abode, but pleasant.

"Gobbie King here," said the goblin with a sharp-tooth grin.

"You don't look like a king," replied Sabre, who had since put things together during her travels. "But I suppose a goblin king would be a strange one indeed."

"King... wrong word," admitted the goblin. "Gobbie no have king. Think... Big Helper, or... Magic Friend, not King. And you no look like monster, but Big Wall kick you out to die. Just like all monsters."

The knight sighed and lifted a hand to her forehead, gingerly rubbing the black horns that grew there. There was no quest, no reward waiting for her. Just exile.

"I sought to earn penance for my crime of being born, yet I have been shown more kindness by those I would have slain than from those that ordered it so." Sabre felt a slight grip on her hand and looked up to see the Goblin King holding it with a soft smile.

"What now, gob?"

The knight's eyes of black sclera met the Goblin King's eyes of crimson, and her clawed hand gripped the one that held it firmly.

"Can I... stay here with you in the village? I am a knight with no lord, and it would honor me to swear fealty to you, oh great and wise King."

The Goblin King tilted her head and hummed in thought.

"No knight. Just girl. Pretty girl." The King looked away bashfully. "Pretty girl...share home? Share bed?"

Sabre opened her fanged mouth, closed it, then opened it again.

"I... would be...Goblin...queen?"

"Please?"

The air grew silent as the two simply stared at each other, too shy to speak. Sabre had started this journey thinking she would have to slay the Goblin King, but now she was being asked to lay the Goblin King.

The tiefling smiled. "Yes, I would like that very much."