Ash was nearly to the tavern when he caught a hint of motion out of the corner of his eye. He turned, but found nothing except a brief notification from his UI that he’d failed a Staves (Quick) check against a quick target. That was interesting. He started putting his spells in order, casting Boiling Blood, Dragon’s Blood, and finally Sorcerer’s Blood while nonchalantly heading onward, then readying Not a Fighter to try for the paralyzing effect first.

The tavern was a grand structure, a sandwich of two tall floors and one smaller in between them. Inside he found a large open space ringed by a walkway for the shorter people, and another walkway two meters higher for the larger folk who got rooms. This left a large dance floor in the room’s center, which was right now home to a number of round tables and chairs, halfway full of drinkers and eaters. A rumbling in his stomach reminded Ash he did need to eat.

He still hadn’t been attacked, which was curious. He hadn’t been forced to make any other checks either.

Evie waved from deeper within, beckoning him over. He caught another flash of movement from his periphery but again missed the Quick check. He made his way over, and ended up selecting a chair that faced the tavern’s entrance. No sense in presenting his back to whoever Figglesworth sent after him.

He doubted the old gnome would be so stupid as to send a hit squad after him, though they might end up watching for him to get drunk or retire to a specific room. Although this was a Save Point and was supposed to be completely safe from attack, that didn’t mean he was safe from theft. And if Rachel was to be believed, there weren’t just cards that showed off what was in another person’s inventory, there were probably cards that allowed a Rogue to get into your inventory and steal your shit. That didn’t sit well with him. After all, being immune to attack didn’t make you immune to theft. Spellcraft had guilds, had a thieves’ guild of NPCs, and that meant this new world might well have a thieves’ guild as well.

Sigh. If there was one thing he definitely did not want, it was his secret of 42 Full Revives to become public knowledge. He wondered if the town had another shop aside from Deckbuilder of Many Things. He wasn’t a great fan of Figglesworth, to be honest. So far he hadn’t had much luck with card shops.

“You all right?” Evie asked.

Another big sigh. He brightened up, which she deserved, and he told her how the whole exchange went at the shop. He couldn’t help but laugh ruefully at that eel Ray Eastman as he went over the details of the way he’d been hoodwinked. She chuckled.

“On a lighter note, you’re out of the contract,” she said.

“True,” he admitted. He’d had to fight off a whole repossession team almost single-handedly, then pay an extra twenty or thirty thousand coin, but the ship was finally his… unless there was something in the rental contract he hadn’t seen. It wouldn’t surprise him to find Ray Eastman’s goons showing up to repossess the Wind Runner anyway, on some technicality he hadn’t seen. If only he hadn’t been there on day one, when he was so excited to be adventuring, and if only he’d read through that hellish contract carefully.

“I think that deserves a celebration!” She soon had two beers ordered, along with a spread of appetizers. They clinked mugs. “To being able to finally carry coin, after two months of avoiding it like the plague.”

He laughed. The Wind Runner situation was about to get a whole lot more awesome, but for now it really was like a weight off his shoulders.

“Hey,” she said more gently. “You’re okay, right?”

“I’ll be fine,” he told her. “They’re my best friends, but they’ve built their life around the child. I should’ve known. I mean obviously it’s disappointing, but there’s nothing I can do about it, short of committing baby-cide, but I’m never doing that and we all know that.”

Evie laughed. “Infanticide? Did that thought really cross your deranged-ass mind?”

“Obviously not,” he said, and had a drink of the ale set before him. He wasn’t a big drinker, but he was pretty sure this was the best beer he had ever tasted. “You think this is infused with magic?” he asked.

She grinned. “Every bit of artifice is infused with the good shit,” she said. “That’s why you get the weird devices. All the different sniper shots are different magic goop shit.”

“Anyway, I need to let them go, and I also need to brace for my parents, when I meet them.”

She froze. “That’s why you’re not taking us, isn’t it?”

“No! There’s a demonic presence spreading across the land!”

“Methinks thou protest too much,” she said, and grinned even as she picked up a skewer of spiced meat and veggies. She pointed it nonchalantly at him. “Hey Rachel, Ash doesn’t want his parents to know he has a whole circle of willing sex partners.”

He turned to find Rachel just hitting the bottom stair. The catgirl flashed those canines at them. “Oh is that right?”

“It absolutely is not right,” he said.

Evie’s eyes went wide. “You’re taking Rachel though! Does she get introduced as your new girlfriend?”

“Are you trying to start a war?” he asked.

Rachel and Evie laughed. Ash reluctantly joined in when it was clear they were joking. He couldn’t have anyone going back to Ashley and telling her Ash had chosen the submissive slave over her. She would absolutely lose her mind over the idea that she wasn’t the First Girlfriend™, a position that seemed to have importance for some reason.

“We can’t have Ashley losing her mind like that,” Evie said seriously after a good long laugh.

“So to be clear, we are not telling Ashley, correct?” he asked.

Evie and Rachel roared laughter, attracting the attention of several tavern guests. Zirennia appeared, holding Ashley’s hand, and joined them. Not long after, Mizu would wander in, along with Aria.

“What’s so funny?” the tiefling asked.

“I was talking with Evie and Rachel here about how they’ll be fine when I’m gone,” he said.

Zirennia blinked and peered at all three of them in turn. This elicited more snorts of laughter and chuckles. Finally, she said, “Hilarious.”

“We were actually discussing how much Evie is going to miss our Ash,” Rachel added. “And the possibility that you will forget about the before time.”

“Pff,” Evie said, and waved a hand at him. “Nothing a little mind-blowing sex won’t cure, and that’s God’s honest fuckin’ truth.” Then she looked around at the shock on their faces. “What? You all know it’s his magic dick that does it, don’t you?” They didn’t know about the spork, none of them. “He meets Zirennia, gets all up in there, and ka-chow, she’s herself again. Then he gets with Aria, and kerplewie, she’s along for the ride too. We all need to accept the rock solid fucking fact that Ash’s dick has some sort of magic power to keep us remembering who we were and who we are, and get used to having that magic dick in us. And the other magic accoutrements we end up wearing.” 

He snorted, before leaning forward and grinning at her. “Have you got it on?”

All the bravado fled her in a second. She stiffened and blinked in shock and a little fear at him. “Here? Now?”

“How do you expect me to handle my cock all the way up in your ass if you don’t loosen yourself up for when the day comes?”

“Oh my lord,” she breathed, reddening. The way she went from a dirty talking, cussing little monster to being unable to swear the moment the smut started was something he frankly loved about Evie.

Still in his companionable, conspiratorial tone, he told her, “Go on, head to the bathroom and get it up in there.”

“I can’t believe you. I also can’t believe how much that turns me on.” She got up off the chair and headed for the restroom, stealing glances back at him over her shoulder and smiling, full of just as much arousal as worry. He hated to watch her go, and loved to watch those skin tight pants leave.

As for Ash, he’d grown hungry, and began to devour the food Evie had ordered for him. She took long enough that he’d gotten through a heel of bread, dunked in the rich stew, and quite a lot of cheese cubes before he caught sight of her again.

Rachel stuck around, but Mizu, Zirennia, Aria and Ashley had training to get through, cards to buy, and more celebrating to do. They had already been hailed as saviors of the town, as had Netsu. Aria needed to order foodstuffs to stock the ship, so they could eat food in between town-sized exorcisms. All save Rachel filed out before Evie came back.

Finally though, he caught motion out of the corner of his eye and locked eyes with her. She smiled, a strained grin, and wiggled her hips in discomfort. He had to stop himself from laughing, though he didn’t try to keep himself from getting aroused. The idea that he had not one, not two, but seven different women who were down to fuck delighted him. More than that, the idea that of those seven, three of them had put things in their asses because he’d asked them to was even more of a turn on.

It wasn’t that he was an anal fiend, but rather that they cared so much about being with him that when he suggested this. They were so thoroughly into staying with him and sharing his bed, and most importantly, they trusted him.

“Oh jeez,” she whispered. “Oh jeez, I keep thinking everyone here can see it, that they know it’s in there.”

He chuckled lightly. Zirennia, Mizu and Ashley laughed right along with him, though Rachel gave her a commiserating look. She, too, had worn the plug, and she must’ve known the feeling well. This only made him laugh all the more.

“You’re bad,” Evie told him. “You’re a bad, bad man. I can’t believe I’m doing this for you. I can’t believe… ooh… it feels so weird pressed into the chair.”

“Did you put your panties back on?” he asked.

She stared at him. “What do you think?”

“I honestly have no idea,” he told her.

“I had a weird encounter in the bathroom,” she said.

A stone sank into the bottom of his guts and froze there. He was suddenly certain someone had recognized him as the demon who had cut through their town and abducted a half dozen of their people. Maybe Tinniel or Figglesworth. After all, the town had wanted posters up all over the place, with a cloaked figure wielding fire and demonic claws.

All he knew now was, Tinniel or no, he had made a check outside and threw on several of his spells, because whoever it was, they were shadowing him. He needed to grab Rachel and some supplies as soon as possible, and get out of dodge. Let the saviors of the town celebrate with the people. He wasn’t going to let his face fuck this up for everyone.

“Go ahead,” he said carefully, eyeing the bathroom, then searching the place for extra exits. Probably one through the kitchen and out the back. Definitely several out the open third floor windows, or the second floor if he was desperate. He assumed he’d be able to fit through the little people windows, and at very worst, he could crash through the walls.

Evie squirmed in her seat, turning even redder. “There’s a… maybe someone who’ll be joining us.”

Or maybe someone who’d be turning them in to the authorities.

“Go on,” he said.

She flashed a grin, then got up off the chair and stretched out a hand. “Come on. You finished eating, right?”

This was how he ended up watching Evie’s ass work back and forth as she ascended the steps. She insisted on not taking the nellwyn-sized stairs. She was also wearing a pair of skin tight leather pants, and when she took the next step, the light inevitably caught the outline of the butt plug’s base against the leather. Despite his fears, he’d been hard for the whole meal, and couldn’t get the idea of hearing her hiss and moan out of his head. She had been one of the ringleaders of the little faction play they’d attempted, and he did feel like punishing her… a little. In a pleasurable way. So he gave her several playful pinches to the backside as she went.

He learned that Ashley was planning on shopping and sleeping, the shopping with Zirennia, while Rachel was with the twins for training, card shopping, and working on their action decks. Netsu and Mizu might be at odds, but they had expressed a willingness to train in basic combat. Zirennia was in on that action.

Rachel still needed some helpful, powerful item cards, but so far they hadn’t hit the sweet spot of Rogue weapons that also dealt holy or radiant damage. Those were sort of the antithesis of one another, and they weren’t sure how to procure them.

Evie cast several indulgent glances back at him, and stopped long enough for him to spank her. Her yelp was part moan, and soon enough they were up at the third floor.

She stopped and peered at the signs, showing rooms 301 to 308 in one direction, and 309-315 in the other. They went to room 303, and Ash watched as Evie knocked in a way that could only be code.

This was confirmed a second later when the door opened half an inch, and an eye peered through the gap at them. The door then opened, with the occupant hiding behind it.

Evie grabbed his hand, and though he had the impulse to pull away, he trusted her. Instead, he activated Dragon’s Blood and readied Arcane Lance just in case she’d been tricked and was leading them into an ambush.

Immediately around the door, he found himself staring down at a familiar face.

“Tinniel?”

The fey talked not just fast, but relentlessly. Like she didn’t need to suck in breath in order to produce words. She went and went, talking all about the shop, her coworkers, the town, Figglesworth not being a great boss, the boredom, and on. She circled points with anecdotes that led to other characters and their anecdotes, other aspects of her life that weren’t so great.

And on. And on.

“And, look, the shop is all right, but there’s something going on with you, isn’t there? I knew it as soon as you started talking about your cards. I mean, mythics and masterpieces!” She let out a musical laugh, and apparently that was the sign Ash or Evie could respond.

She’d been talking for over ten minutes, explaining about how Figglesworth didn’t pay her enough, made a fuck ton of money, swindled people out of the cards they had and paid extremely low rates for excellent cards, and about Rosa, the bitchy coworker who’d gotten her in trouble just last week for no good reason at all. Then she went on to talk about how she liked the town, but once she started talking with Ash, she realized something was wrong with her mind. Suddenly she could remember things about the way earth had been before this new thing. And now come to think of it, she worked basically seven days a week, never left the town, and barely had enough money to live. Shit, she’d had a car before the apocalypse, and had been saving up to buy a house with her ex-fiancé. Her name had been Tina. She hadn’t remembered her real name in, well, she couldn’t remember how long.

When they didn’t respond to the waterfall of words she’d spewed, she reddened again and held up a card. “I uh… I bought this and told Figglesworth I was feeling ill. You know, girl issues.”

He took it, and found it was a copy of Not a Fighter.

“I thought you said you didn’t have this one?”

She shook her head. “Figglesworth told us not to give any customer the first card they were after, especially if it was the only copy available. He has something special that just creates cards.” The Deck Erector. “Anyway I had my orders to try to hook them with other cards, so they forgot about the one they wanted, and got other things instead.”

“Why did you bring this?”

“I want to go with you,” she said.