The angelus stared at him, mouth opening and closing, dumbstruck by what was a shakedown gone wrong.

“Here’s what I assume the deal is,” he said. “You’re universally sought after by any and every man who ends up at any tavern you’re in. Some idiot chats up you and your friend here, and he makes the mistake of offering to take you back up to his room. Then, you either cry rape or you let the boys in, somewhere in the middle of having the idiot’s hands on you, and the three big boys come to the rescue. Probably the cleric stays out of sight so he can heal up any injuries that happen. The three in the room threaten to kill the idiot unless he empties his inventory or coughs up some amount of goods to free himself from the trap you’ve caught him in.”

Those eyes of hers, for not having anything but glowing yellowy-white light, sure did reveal a lot. He passed another Staves (Sly) check and waved it away. He didn’t need to be told he was on the right track.

“Now before you tell me whether or not I’m right on the details, because I’m definitely right in broad concept, you’ll let me guess why it went wrong this time.”

He pointed a finger at the angelus. “You’re either in a relationship with one or more of the males in your group… possibly all of them?” He wanted to take a second to see if she was even fucking the walking rock in the party, but waved that away. He didn’t care. “Anyway, here’s poor Ariella, only ever considered for the tanking, and the damage output she brings to the table.” She was a monk. “She probably also serves as an emergency heal in the event your cleric gets put out of commission.”

“You… talk strangely,” Kirith said.

“You lie badly?” he retorted, before he could stop himself. “Now, here’s the thing,” he lied, “I have the drop on you. I’ve activated all my auras and buff spells, and I’m going to launch a devastating spell at you before you can let the boys into this room. So, I’d think twice about whether or not you want to sacrifice yourself to make this robbery go off right. Here’s the other thing: all five of you have been absolutely atrocious to your lizardfolk companion here. I would bet every time you’re in a tavern she spends the whole time overlooked, or if anyone comes on to her, you use the person making advances on her your mark. You turn up your angelus charm and scramble his brain.”

It was very Netsu, but without any of the stealth, manipulation, or lying to the Mizu in the group. Ariella was wailing now.

“That’s… that’s not…”

“It’s true!” Ariella shrieked, then collapsed onto the table in a fit of wordless sobbing.

“Okay,” she said, and held her hands up to ward off his Sith lightning attack that would never come. “Okay, we’ve done… something like that. But it’s not like we just do it all the time.”

His UI lit up to tell him she was lying. Ariella sobbed and cried out all the more, and at this point slid bonelessly out of the chair down to the floor.

“How many times?” he asked.

“Four.”

“The system informs me that you’ve just lied to me.” Her eyes shot open all the more, almost comically large now. “How many times?”

“F-f-fifteen I think,” she stammered.

“Did you know these rooms are magically shielded to keep the occupants safe? How do you get around that?”

“We disable the shielding because we have the keys,” she said.

“How many keys for Ariella’s room?” he demanded.

“Just the one.”

He had a dark thought, and hit her with Not a Fighter. It succeeded handily. Better than handily, actually.

 

Critical Success! Kirith Sun-blessed has failed her Cups (Tough) check against you, and with your critical success from Diamonds (Lucky) the duration for Not a Fighter has given you the following:

*The duration has become one hour, unless action is taken against the target to make them an opponent.

*Kirith Sun-blessed has gained the condition paralysis.

 

He marveled at this for a moment. This was one of the very few times he’d seen Diamonds and Lucky show up in his UI notifications. Like Lady Luck in Discworld, Luck was an elusive thing, and if you talked about it, it disappeared.

It took a little time for Ash to help Ariella up off the floor, get her seated, and get some coffee and brandy into her system. She shook off the effects of alcohol easily enough, being a Monk and having that ability, but she was still pretty unhappy.

And in the meantime Kirith shivered from her place near the wet bar, eyes locked on him like he was the incarnation of death itself and was coming to reave her soul.

“You can stay with them, if you want,” he told the lizardfolk girl. “They seem like a bunch of assholes. I especially don’t like the idea of using a guy to trick him out of his stuff. Fourteen or fifteen times?”

Kirith flinched but otherwise didn’t move. At least she felt some contrition, even if it required to be terrified out of her mind.

“And you’re welcome to join my crew. You just need to be ready… my crew is a pretty odd bunch.”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“I’m the only male member of my adventuring team,” he said, ignoring the usage of the word member. “I have, uh… more than one girlfriend. It’s complicated. But you have to know two things. One, you’re welcome to sleep with me, provided you’re okay with me sleeping around. Two, you’re not obligated to sleep with me at all.”

She straightened, showing off a long and slim torso. “Sleep with you?”

“You weren’t really inviting me up here to talk about your clan history, were you? I mean eventually I’d like to hear it, after I find out what you’ve got going on beneath that armored codpiece there.”

“Y-you want…”

“Your friends are waiting outside this room and they want to take all my stuff and threaten to kill me,” he said. “Your friend here, the asshole, really wants to open the door and let them in, but she’s frozen for a good little while. So what I’d like to do is take all your armor off, give you a nice massage and get confirmation of what I think your scales feel like.”

“M-m-massage?”

His smile was reassuring and his tone gentle. “And then if you’re feeling good, maybe I can give you a little more than that.” He coaxed her up onto her feet with a single touch to her hand. “Just say no and I’ll climb out the window. You stay with your crew of extortionist teases, who fuck men out of their stuff instead of fucking them.”

The first of her armor pieces thunked to the carpet, followed by another. Vambraces down, she dislodged the thigh plates and their attached knee covers, then the breastplate. Finally, her fingers hovered around the codpiece.

“You mean it?”

“I’m attracted to you,” he said. “Enthusiasm and honesty are sexy. So are your eyes.”

She made a tortured half-squeal and half-giggle.

He removed his own shirt, then his pants and underwear with her staring in wonder. “As you can see, I’m only armed with this simple club,” he told her.

She sighed out a long quavering breath. “Your m-muscles…wow.”

Ash was now Journeyman level in Fierce and Expert in Tough. The half orc part of him made him broad in the shoulders, building in the muscles, and nearly two meters tall, while the drow elf part of him made him hairless and a stony blue gray color, with a short white mane of hair and black eyes. He had shed the fat the old Ash had from excessive drinking and lots of carbs.

He held out a hand to her, and at last her resolve solidified. The codpiece fell away with a flash of mana, and a few seconds later she was out of her loincloth and loose-fitting shirt.

Ariella was like a massive gecko in most ways: flat head, huge eyes, wide mouth, elongated body and tail. However, she had strong humanoid limbs ending in pretty human-like hands, and definitely not human-like feet.

“Have a lay down and we’ll get your stress all massaged out,” he said, and threw a smile Kirith’s way. She hadn’t moved, except that one hand had drifted up to her mouth. The wretched expression hadn’t changed.

She was warm and firm under his hands, and pliable. Her scales were small, tightly packed and glossy smooth. She made appreciative noises before he even started. She cooed and went ‘ahhhh’ and began squirming with just a few light caresses.

“I like your coloration,” he told her, directly in her ear hole. Then got to work kneading and plying at her strong, warm body. He found her to be a delight: springier than mammal flesh, but not hard and unyielding like Netsu’s body. Like Mizu but radiating heat. She definitely wasn’t cold-blooded, and definitely was hot to the touch.

She was a bright spring green in most places, with a squiggly line of the most brilliant orange he’d seen outside of magic

“Mmmm,” she moaned, and then let out a long and shaky sound he realized was an orgasm. “Ohhh, mmm, uhhh, f-f-f-fuuuuuuhh…”

“Did you just climax?”

“S-s-sor—”

“Don’t be! That was incredible.” At that, the orange stripe running down either side of her body flashed louder, expanding outwards.

She was able to wriggle around until she was facing him, staring those huge gleaming yellow-green eyes up into his. She had underbelly scales of pale white and almost seeming purple, and her breaths were coming hard and fast. “I want to suck your… can I give you a… here.”

Her fingers closed around his member and she made yet another noise of need and delight in her throat.

“Sh-she’ll poison you,” Kirith said in a raspy, dry voice, not at all the gleaming angel girl who had smiled at him and needlessly tucked her hair back behind her ear.

“Shut up,” he told her, and stood with his back to the door. Then, to Ariella, he said, “You can suck whatever you want, you glorious creature.” Ariella clambered to get in position, opened an absolutely massive mouth filled with so much white pink, and swiped her huge tongue over the whole length of him, from root to tip. Her tongue was larger than his entire forearm. A second later she was sucking him off with abandon, making appreciative noises in her throat and allowing her huge eyes to drift closed.

“You’re… very good at that,” he told her, feeling himself swelling in her mouth. He wasn’t lying; her inexperience showed, but her anatomy and exuberance made his hands drift down and grab her by the sides of her wide head. “Really, really good. Ohh fuck, Ariella, suck my cock. That’s right… swipe your tongue back and forth… now lick further down… right… right there.”

She had the delightful ability to deep throat him and slip that huge tongue down under his sack. He grew in her mouth, larger still, to accommodate her with Not A Fighter’s extraordinary ability to make him compatible. If she was poisonous, he would be immune. Or, hell, it might make the sensations even more pleasurable. It was already beyond incredible; easily the best blowjob he’d ever had.

This went on for several minutes, with her working her magic and him encouraging her, and occasionally meeting Kirith’s eyes.

“That’s it,” he breathed. “I’ll cum if you don’t… if you don’t stop…”

She didn’t stop, and if anything her scales got a little brighter green and orange. Her tongue work and the convulsions of muscles in her mouth certainly got more intense, and he unloaded what felt like a torrent. The lizard girl backed off a bit, and took two blasts directly in her cavernous mouth, before backing off more and getting the rest on her underbelly scales.

She cooed in satisfaction and slumped back, arms up on the bed and lower body sprawled out on the floor. The dazed look in her eyes just turned out to be a thin see-through eyelid which soon retracted. She got a look at the dousing she’d taken and lazily trailed a finger through his seed.

“That was sooo nice,” she said. “I can’t believe I never—”

She froze and stared at him, hovering over where her body ended and tail began, right at the slit he knew would be there.

“What are you…”

“You didn’t think we were done, did you?”

Ariella didn’t take much licking or caressing in order to reach her peak, and Ash gave her a lot of that. She would barely be out of an orgasm, shuddering for breath before he dove back in and went slithered his tongue into her horizontal reptilian opening. By pulling up a couple of belly scales, he revealed her pink opening, already flooded with juices.

She had a refreshing taste to her secretions that he could’ve lapped up all day. She certainly didn’t seem to be in a position to stop him, but instead pumped her legs back and forth on the ground like a turtle flopped back on its shell, unable to right itself. She gave off a series of strange noises, and came.

And came.

And came again.

She came almost as much as Mizu had that first time he’d been with her, when he’d completely altered her understanding of what pleasure could be. She stroked his hair until her orgasm caused her to jerk beneath him; her hands froze in his hair each time.

The best part was watching his tongue extend to tremendous lengths in order to wriggle up into her. So far up into her. And the further into her body he got, the better her juices seemed to taste.

By her fourth or fifth orgasm she no longer tried to speak words, but instead just went ‘fuh, fuh, fuh...’ again and again. Her scales were glowing now in the gloom of the tavern room, reflecting light off the polished floor and painting the bed green and orange.

Ash stood up and grinned down at her. Not a Fighter didn’t disappoint; he was beyond a foot long now, as big around as a can of soda, with veins pulsing angrily, needing to be inside her.

“I want you,” he told her seriously. 

“Ohhhh,” she groaned, and opened her arms to him.

They started on the bed, missionary style, with him guiding the massive head towards her opening and sinking in, in, and then further in. By the time he was fully inside, his vision had changed, his body had lengthened, and he had a tail to help him keep balance.

“You’re...” She couldn’t finish, but instead licked one of her eyes, then the other, in order to make sure she was seeing him properly. Then she squealed in delight. The card had allowed him to transform into a lizardfolk just for her. Her insides squeezed tightly at him, and he nearly emptied himself inside her yet again.

Bottoming out, his tail ended up flattened against hers, and he could feel her whole body pulsing with need for him.

“I need you,” she whispered, and he began moving.

Ten minutes later he had lost count of the orgasms she’d experienced. Every time he seemed to be on the verge, he froze and licked various parts of her body, but it didn’t matter. She was all excitement, and he was rubbing up against all the right parts of her. He knew, because he was on the edge of orgasm at nearly all times. It was a solid five minutes of pounding, stopping to master himself through breathing, and then again, five more minutes of drilling Ariella into the bed.

They rolled, her on top, him on top. They thumped into the floor and spent frantic seconds getting him lined up and back up into her slick channel. More rolling brought them against the room door, where Kirith was trying to crawl. He grinned, and groaned, and fucked.

Some time later he could hold it no longer. Time lost meaning. He was little more than a thrusting penis by that point. He felt like some distant part of him was a lake of seed penned up by a cracked and broken dam, on the verge of collapse.

“I want…” she panted. “I want…”

“Yes,” he told her.

“…your babies,” she finished.

No more questions were possible. The forbidden nature of the request triggered his climax. He shoved forward, in and down, and came for her.