« Someone once told me that what matters is participating, not winning. This way of thinking just shows how peaceful our current times are, how harmless our neighbour has become, how naïve we have become. Winning is gaining, but losing is not hurtful anymore. I fear there are lessons time will make us forget. »

I was in pain. A numbing pain coursed through my right arm, my dominant one of course, and somehow prevented me from… Waking up.

I was lying down on my bed, peacefully dreaming about having dinner and eating lots of sweets while hugging the pillow in some sort of deeply rooted fear that everything around me would disappear if I stopped believing in this joyful life of mine, when everything suddenly disappeared around me.

In my dreams, I was looking at myself flying high in the sky, eyes closed, inert, maybe I wasn’t even breathing at this moment while my body rejected the ground like some spicy supper with too much aromatics to bear the taste or I don’t know.

Thinking about it, maybe I wasn’t flying.

Flying was seen as a graceful and natural act. You don’t watch birds and feels dejected at their flapping wings everytime they soar through the skies. You look at them either with an uninterested gaze, or with glimmering stars while a lots of things starts crossing your mind.

Although my body was escaping toward the sky, there was no grace or beauty in its movements. Instead, its dismal appearance terrified me far more than the sight of any carnivorous creature staring at me with hunger. Because the feeling was not the same. Because in this case, I knew I would end up dead.

The gruesome thought haunted me, that I wouldn’t survive this, or that I would not be able to see tomorrow again.

I probably could have tried to struggle some more, maybe I could have tried something like casting a spell to slow down my descent or atleast move my body with some baseless hope that the landing would be less… Impactful. Well, not like I knew anything about sorcery.

Yes, I probably could have. Anybody could have, I mean. But I didn’t, and I am certain anybody else would have done the same.

It wasn’t only because I was mesmerized by the sight of my own self being thrown away so high I had to lift my head to look at what was happening, but because the event itself didn’t felt real at all, like I was still dreaming or caught in some illusions.

Although I completely believed in what was happening in front of me, I did not act because I knew how vain my actions would be once the epilogue unfolded.

So I just stood there, helplessly waiting like a spectator as my eyes were focusing on the body ridiculously falling like some stupid puppet whose strings has been cut, before lightly bouncing once against the ground and finally… Nothing.

The man did not move. He didn’t groan either. I think he wasn’t breathing either. He was just… There, doing nothing. Not whining. Not complaining. Not struggling.

Then, he opened his eyes, and he saw what I saw and I saw what he saw.

The sky, endless, but burned and roaring.

I finally noticed I was awake, maybe not fully, but awake enough to understand I was half-alive and half-buried. I slowly turned my head on my right side to gaze upon the big… stony thing, whatever it was part of previously, crushing my arm, giving a sense to this weird lack of sensation I felt earlier.

Strangely, I wasn’t crying about it. I’ve already fought many times with swords and got myself a few scars thanks to those battles, so seeing my body in bad shape wasn’t new to me. However, this won’t just leave a scar like those light cuts or small bruises.

My vision turned blurry, probably because I was losing a lot of blood or maybe because the scene I was confronting was too hard to swallow. I saw my arm buried under the debris, unresponsive just like the rest of my body. It certainly wouldn’t be a pretty sight to remember once the rubbles were removed.

So… How did I end up here again?

On the day the spirit brought me to Lagida, I went and searched for my sister Narufi… Right, and that was when I was touring the upcoming festival looking for some clues while avoiding the patrols out of habit that I met both of them.

It happened just like those fateful encounter they narrate in those gaudy stories. The world stopped around us while our eyes met.

I didn’t know what to do at this moment, so she was the first to break the ice.

“… Nilie?”

Hearing my name, I unconsciously discerned my surrounding spinning again, as if everyone stopped for a moment before returning to normal. But it was only for a short moment, before my body acted on its own to go and hug my small elder sister.

“Hey, Narufi… I’m back…”

Honestly, I was so happy to see her again that I wanted to jump around like an excited kid who’s been promised some swordsmanship practice or a sack of sweets, however, I didn’t expect my emotions to grow strong enough to make me this stifled. Embracing her between my arms felt warm, nostalgic, and that was good enough for me to not let go. Until…

Until I noticed a cold gaze piercing through me from the person close to us.

I stared back with a mixture of curiosity and disdain before noticing the white-dressed lady, speechlessly waiting, and menacingly standing next to us.

So menacingly that I couldn’t help but reflexively back off from my spot.

“Woah! I’m-I’m sorry, I wasn’t hurting or pickpocketing her or anything!”

At first surprised, Narufi giggled once she understood the situation.

“It’s okay. He’s my brother, he wouldn’t bring harm to me.”

Which the dame answered heartlessly.

“They are usually the first that comes to mind when it concerns ‘harm’.”

Exceedingly on the defensive, it seemed. I couldn’t bring myself to like her, no matter how much of a beauty this human was. In fact, I thought you would have to be a weirdo to come and appreciate her as a woman.

She was the sort I would happily pump for nights as long as she shut up and was drunk or high on drugs, otherwise she would only behave like all those pompous nobles and be a pain in the arse all day. And people wonder why we bandits keep so few hostages alive… Well this was all in the past now, and with the spirit’s blessing I should try and rearrange myself if I wanted to atone for my sins.

Let’s forget her cold stare which probably saw through my thoughts and focus on what was important right now.

“Don’t be like that, Chaalith. Everyone has a bad side, but my brother isn’t evil.”

… There was no way I could tell my sister how I made a living before coming here. I’ll just tell her later how I became a mercenary and forget to mention the rest.

“But it sure is a surprise to see you here, Nilie.”

“Well… Truth be told, it’s a long story. I’m not sure where I should start to make sense of it either.”

“Mmh? What do you mean?”

Probably confused by my choice of words, Narufi looked at me with big round eyes. She’s probably expecting me to share my tale with her and her friend here, but right now I was more… How to say it…

“Let’s start with you, will ya? You’re… Different, from last time we saw each other.”

Well she was different in many ways, because last time we saw each other she was the kind of girl who was sent from home to bring back some wealth to our tribe the same way I was tasked to do the same.

In my eyes, bringing back loads of gold would help the tribe in buying necessities, tools and maybe even some lands to farm or build on. That was the goal I set for myself, in a way to stay parallel to the mission given to me by those old men stuck to those old Rules, so I could prove I had some strength. And maybe that would be enough to woo some of the girls back home… Maybe.

As for my sister, she had no talent for battle, no skill for magic, and I’m not sure how smart she was but she still came up with a plan and that’s pretty much how we went our way.

Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect, but certainly not seeing her pregnant.

“Oh, you mean this?” she happily said, giggling again while looking at her round belly, “It’s also a long story. How about we talk about it at my home?”

“Sure, why not”.

Anywhere was fine to me. I was also curious to see how well my sister fared in this town, but I was mostly curious to meet the lucky fellow who’s living with Narufi.

We began to walk through the colourful street where the staff in charge of setting up the flags and ribbons and stuff were running around with their pile of things to set up. Pedestrians and folks alike were, just like us, walking from there to there. They were probably just… Looking for activities to do, while the festival was being prepared.

How did this happen, for me to suddenly take notice of others this way? Me who was always looking for coins to fetch. Me who was always looking for poor fellas to kidnap.

Maybe this was also part of the spirit’s blessing.

While on our way, Narufi and I chatted about small details, but strangely our conversation was mainly led by her, and it was mostly about food, dinner and life here. Really peaceful. Something I wasn’t thinking about… Something I wasn’t expecting to feel again.

Yeah… Maybe I missed things like these.

“Alright, it’s here.”

We stopped our tracks in front of an elegant adjoining house. I’ve already seen such houses in other towns I visited, their owners are usually people who manages a small business or somethings. Which means… Said lucky fellow was also a bit resourceful, or atleast resourceful enough to provide for himself, my sister and any sort of hobby he could enjoy on the side.

That was a good sign… That I still had my old habits of finding good targets.

Damn. I should really be careful about my way of thinking now, even more since I received the spirit’s protection through the wooden amulet.

Once inside my sister’s home, she went ahead to unpack her groceries. I was about to follow her, but she told me it was fine and that Chaalith and me should wait in the living room.

I wanted to butt in and give her a hand, however, the cold lady quickly interrupted me.

“She can take care of this alone, Narufi isn’t as frail as she looks despite her condition. Besides, even if you went and tried to help her, I bet you would only be on her way and end up becoming a nuisance.”

“… Shut up. You don’t know my sister.”

“I know that she didn’t stray too far from the Rules, unlike others who did with the naïve optimism that their actions were done in respect to those same Rules.”

… I knew she didn’t know a thing about me or what I’ve done until now, yet I couldn’t help but notice how close she was to the truth. Was she some mind-reading psycho or something?

Fuck it, let’s just wait for my sister to come back. I can’t wait to tell her about my journey.

“Wait.”

I was prevented from leaving the corridor by the same annoying girl. I wasn’t sure if I could eventually bring myself to not feel annoyed by her.

“What you want, this time?”

She extended her hand toward me.

“Show me your talisman, the one you’ve been toying with since earlier.”

“… And if I don’t?”

She sighed upon my refusal.

“Do you know what the most fundamental difference between humans and yumes is? It is the education related to spirits they receive from birth.

From a historical standpoint, humans were never as close to the spirits as the yumes. They only see them as subjects to study, anthropomorphised ideas born from legends and religious tales and merely seen as supervisors that manage the flow of mana around the world.

In other words: humans don’t believe in spirits. There are many reasons why it is so, but telling you these would not help you understand my point.

Humans don’t believe in spirits, but yumes do. Your ancestors venerated the spirits, and this legacy was passed down to your parents, then to you and your sister.

Through your youth, you were probably reminded several times a day why it was important to listen to a spirit’s advice, why the Rules are so important to your tribes. And you were also taught how to pay your respect to the Rules and -most importantly- how to mend your wrongs.

The talisman you were gifted, it is the proof that a spirit accepted your repentance despite all the evil you’ve committed.

And before you doubt… No, Narufi is not aware of such an old and rare tradition, or else you probably would have seen her behave not as kindly as she did. How fortunate, that you weren’t the only one who missed a few classes.”

“… What will you do, if I show it to you?”

“You’re probably curious about many things about this pendant. I can at least give you a few answers.”

I hesitated for a while, after all I still wasn’t on friendly terms with Chaalith. However, she’s proved herself as quite the cultured one. What’s more, she was right, I was curious about this pendant.

Reluctantly, I gave her the amulet, waiting for her next lesson or whatever kind of story she wanted to tell me this time.

She looked at the piece of wood with an interested face. I didn’t know what she was thinking, probably just trying to remember whatever she knew about spirits, but as long as I could learn something then I didn’t mind waiting for a bit.

“There,” she gave me back the amulet, “Don’t lose it under any circumstances.”

“So… Anything I can learn this time?”

“What did the spirit told you, when he gave you this?”

“He said he would protect me through the amulet as long as I repented from my sins.”

“So it does. I am dubious about his caution on your repentance, but this certainly will protect you.

That’s why I will tell you again.

Do NOT lose this talisman under any circumstances.”

Even if the world comes to an end.

Because that was what happened.

In one night, everything was blasted away by the explosion.

I woke up in the middle of the rubbles, unscathed or at least physically.

My body was intact, my arm merely numbed due to its weird position, however, it wasn’t injured or broken in the least.

The spirit kept its promise. It protected me against this apocalypse.

As for everything else…

… Everything else was gone.

Even her…