I couldn't get the mention of her youth out of my mind, and I felt bad knowing what she said. Moving forward, I should treat her as an equal. After that, I talked about my thoughts these days, resulting in a wave of embarrassment washing over me as I contemplated the reason behind this peculiar sensation that I was experiencing.

I found myself reciprocating her feelings, yet I remained puzzled as to why I feel this overwhelming feeling.

Starting from today, we are together as a committed couple, and I am astounded by the fact that the person whom I have cared for over the past years is now involved romantically with me.

Shifting my gaze sideways to observe her, I feel fortunate knowing that being in a relationship with her is a positive circumstance.

The memory of our lips touching earlier and the anticipation of her further advances made me say that she shouldn't rush things. 

Ah, this thought process must be influenced by my friends. I should have a conversation with them to monitor their choice of words.

"Agnes," she said, startling me. I suspect she may have noticed me looking at her, although it seems impossible since I merely shifted my gaze to the side.

"What is it?" I inquired, facing her. 

"May we share a bed?" she asked with a serious expression, catching me off guard.

What does that imply? Sharing a bed? Didn't I tell her she shouldn't rush things? There is no way, not in the way I believe. 

Perhaps she simply meant sleeping together in the literal sense. 

"...I understand if that is what you want," I replied with a smile after giving it some thought. Glancing at my timepiece, I observed that it was already 9 o'clock in the evening. I, too, am in need of rest as I have the day off, but I can work from home as well.

We consumed a bit more food as it was nearing lunchtime, but as we finished our meal, we kept watching movies.

"Thank you, I really want to sleep next to you," she joyfully expressed her gratitude.

"Yes," I replied. In response, I stood up willingly to clean the messy table, and she looked at me.

"Please, just sit. Since it is your day off, it is crucial that you relax and allow me to handle all responsibilities. I will take care of cleaning up this mess." 

Before I could lay my hand on the messy table, she suggested, and I nodded in agreement. She then promptly stood up and proceeded to tidy the table. 

I could not help but smile as I watched her.

I wonder why I have reciprocated her feelings.

I don't really understand the concept of love because I have never experienced it in a romantic context. Instead, I have dedicated myself to self-love and caring for my own well-being.

The notion of developing feelings for someone or being interested in others has not been a priority for me. My main focus is actively engaging in the world around me, using my physical abilities to make meaningful contributions to society, such as work, spending time, and caring for others. I can do whatever I want. Due to my busy schedule, I don't have the time to see anyone romantically or the inclination for romantic relationships.

In the past, I kept rejecting the advances of those who professed their love for me because their repeated confessions became a burden as I learned something.

For example, I received these words from individuals who confessed their feelings for me: 'I like you' and 'I love you.' 

I wonder why she didn't say that to me. It's strange, but the way she told me about her feelings was sincere.

These statements, though seemingly meaningful, can be underestimated when considering the sincerity behind them. I consider their eyes, tone of voice, and gestures, which often indicate insincerity. 

It seems that these words are spoken only to get my attention, because the first joy quickly turns into a treacherous trap. It becomes apparent that their true intentions revolve around the physical aspect. At one point, I believed that love could be expressed through acts of assistance, in one's occupation, and through kindness. 

In other words, I considered different forms of love, including unconditional and non-judgmental.

These thoughts first appeared when I observed a relationship between two women, where their connection seemed to confirm my views. It made me reconsider my initial belief that men and women are meant for each other, and now I maintain an open-minded perspective on the matter.

Moreover, somebody keeps saying women are meant for men. For me, it's just a matter of private parts. But I used to think, what if they don't have a gender? Then they can't love?

I hold a great deal of respect for same-gender relationships, as their love is truly what matters, regardless of their perspective on not being parents. It feels like they are just like me.

I was thinking about this issue when she expressed her belief that I rejected her because of her gender. However, this is not the case; it's just annoying because I don't really give importance to physical attributes. 

While engrossed in thought, my phone emitted an audible notification. I immediately took the opportunity to glance at it and discovered that it was a message from my group chat friends.

[Naya, just return my coat next time.]

[Next time? I plan to give this back to you next year, Idris.]

[Then that's fine, I'll just buy a new one.]

[It is reassuring to know that you intend to purchase a new coat, as there is a possibility that the coat I will be returning may have stains and damage.] 

Seen by Idris and the others.

"..."

It seems that the group chat has become quiet. I should express my thoughts to them.

[What does it feel like to have affection towards someone?] I inquired, momentarily tucking my hair behind my ear.

[Agnes, you have finally embarked on the journey of love. I'm happy for you!]

[I find it hard to believe. Our friend, Agnes, has always been indifferent towards love and has rejected others. But now, she claims to have experienced love?]

[That's right. It appears to be true. She must be confused.]

[Agnes, it is quite normal to feel confused, considering you have not previously experienced love.]

[We should commemorate Agnes, who has now experienced the feeling of love.]

After seeing my message for a few seconds, they suddenly replied. But, is it not excessive for them to react in such a manner? Though I'm glad that I have them.

[When you mention having affection for someone, could you be more specific? What does it feel like?]

[Personally, I believe it is when I reciprocate someone's feelings towards me and feel self-conscious.] I replied.

[Agnes, when did this enthusiasm begin?] 

[I think it began when I first experienced a sensation that sparked a longing to share experiences, and I feel better in the person's presence.] I replied, and I realized I was smiling.

[In that case, it seems that you are indeed in love.] Reading this caused my eyes to widen.

[In general, when we fall in love, a sense of compassion begins to develop for the other person, surrounding an emotional connection but also a passionate intensity.]

[You'll feel a sense of care and concern for their well-being.]  

[Amia, your statements are valid and relatable. There are moments when I find myself constantly thinking about the person I am fond of, even when I am with someone else.]

[Since we are talking about love, I think about the notion of being at ease with someone and accepting them wholeheartedly, without any reservations or expectations. It seems to reflect an insatiable longing to break free from all the restrictions and constraints that define one's existence.]

[Whether it involves developing strong feelings for someone or simply admiring them from afar, it invariably leads to the experience of love in some form or another.]

[What truly matters is the sensation of love.]

[Agnes, you should introduce that person to us.] 

[I understand] I replied after reading their messages.

Today, as I reflect on my thoughts, I find myself immersed in contemplation. With a sense of solemnity, I bow my head as if acknowledging a realization.

Beyond simply understanding her emotions, I have come to comprehend something even more intricate: love has ensnared me, enveloping me in its tender grasp. 

It is with this understanding that I reciprocate her affection.

This revelation explains the exchange of feelings that occurred.

This is astonishing. I have come to the realization that I am indeed in love, causing my heart to beat outside of my chest.

Suddenly, upon seeing her approaching me from the side, I placed my phone on the table while looking at her.

Greetings! How is your day? I hope you are having a wonderful day! Thank you for reading as well. With Christmas approaching, I have taken a break from writing, so there may be a delay in the release of the next chapters of the series.