There was nothing.
Nothing here.
Nothing there.
Just stars piercing through the sky or to be exact what seemed to be the sky, what is exactly the sky ? What we see above us ? Then, what if you could see this ‘sky’ below, above and beside you ? What if you could not even feel your own feet, legs, waist, belly, chest, arms, throat, eyes, ears, voice, breath, heart, blood… what if you had no sensations at all ? Yet you can see what is around a void you represent.
Radiant colors you would usually never care about in your busy daily life, when you did not even stop for a simple but magnificent sunset. What if you had the time ? The time to observe. To watch closely at the world around you, wandering aimlessly in this unknown place you have been living in since your birth.
Discover what you could not.
“Who cares ?! I just want to know where am I and why I am here !”
The soul talked this way since it did not realize its current situation. It could not believe it was nothing currently. Despite everything, it had… an unique thinking. It did not seem to care about the fact it was not feeling anything, that it was nothing more than sounds in the void.
“Of course I know ! It is a dream ! Hell, how c-”
Understandable. It was not believing this place to be real. Still, it was quite calm despite everything, relatively calm that is. Feeling nothing yet so… expressive and undisturbed. Interesting. Why is it so ? They were feeling nothing .
“How are you feeling ? Do you feel your arms ? Your legs ? Your breath ? Do you see anything ?”
They needed to ask why it was not panicked. Did it live anything similar ? If yes, what is it. It was nothing more than to spend time. Because in the end, it was unimportant, it was just different. The soul was nothing more than a distraction from this idle and repetitive quotidian.
“Oh…”
Its natural defiance was immediately dissipated once it perceived their voice in a manner or another. The sound it felt seemed to have affected it greatly, it could not help but submit itself and reply to the asked questions while, if it was in a body, clenching non-existent teeth. It was when it realized its situation. Was not it too much for a dream ? No, it might still be a dream, it needed more informations about the current situation.
“I see… the sky. Yes, the sky. It is red, orange, yellow, the colors of fire. It looks like the sky is burning… an unnatural fire, cold, unexpectedly cold. Could you explain to me where I am ? What is it ? What…”
It became quiet once it saw their figure. Contrary to the skies, it was black, darker than black, a void, a humanoid figure, a somber shape that is nothing more than pure obscure emptiness, relatively to its view. It was huge, terrifyingly gigantic. It remembered the photos of its own world, of the blueish planet, the reddish land, the grey mountains, and it thought that all of this were smaller, tiny compared to the present silhouette.
“...are you ?!”
Its natural defiance came back, as expected. This soul’s nature was unexpectedly resilient, unwilling to rest, willing to deplete itself until nothing is left. A persevering spirit that can not be put to rest, one that must run until they reach the end of the night, an ideal. A passionate spirit lacking the animalistic idleness, free from the natural law, a mind that does not respect and obey to its own essence, a liberated electron.
They wished to see more of what this artificial freedom could bring to this soul. What this soul is made of. Curiosity is often the vector of emotions, they thought. Otherwise, they would ignore this soul’s peculiar… hardware.
“I am what you would call… a higher being. Idle and indifferent toward your world. Attracted by so little things. I am just a passionless watchmaker, retired. Your current state can be what you call death, something that unnaturally scare all of you despite your instincts. How does it feel ?”
What did they mean ? Was it dead ? Instincts ? What instincts ? How come being scared of death unnatural ? Weren’t instinct something that would try to protect yourself ? It did not understand anything of what is going on. It never had such an odd dream, but was it one ? Perhaps, it was really dead, it was overthinking and trying to deny their situation. What should it does ?
Continue the discussion.
What else ? Do you have any others choices ? Run ? How ? Why ? Where ?
“I… see. It feels…”
Right, how did it feel ? To have no sensations at all ? To be in this bottomless void with no landmarks ? With a higher being or what they seem to be at the very least. Unreal ? As if it took unlawful and nasty substances ?
Suddenly, the soul felt as if it was going to puke, however, how ? They had no body or anything. It simply felt suffocated by the lack of familiarity, of the absolute silence, of… the dominating freedom. Yes, freedom. It had no responsibilities. Nobody to take care of. It could rest, simply rest but it did not want to.
“...nauseous… how can I believe such inepties after all ? Right, prove to me that I am dead. Prove to me that I am not alive ! Prove to me that it’s not a dream !”
It became emotional again, the calm before the storm as they say in its original world. When it was still alive. Tiresome, they did not want to explain everything to the soul, it is too much of a bother to do this. The easiest way to settle this situation was to wait.
They had all the time in the world after all.
“Time.”
He will not explain anything since he does not wish to do. The soul seemed to have tilted at their words, time ? Does it means it has wait ? That is a shame. They could not wait. This being in front of them may be mighty, special and oppressive, but does that mean it have to submit to such a thing ? Did it ever submitted during its life ? Of course not.
“You ! You owe me a reply ! Who do you think that you are ? You think I will wait for you to reply ? No no no, I will make you spill the beans ! Why ? Look at yourself, being such authoritarian, do you think you are a great being or anything ? Just because you are planet-sized or some worthless stuff like this ? And you might ask why you owe me a reply as well ? Because it seems that you know everything about me, that you know why I am here, perhaps you kidnapped me, you brought me here, some people would probably wait, but I won’t ! Understand ?”
Confusing. Its words were all over, it did not make sense at least to them, to the being. While it was ranting on some affairs they did not understand, on the right side of their head, a sort of purple eye began to open, it seemed that slowly, the dark humanoid shape seemed to be more detailed, the figure was less vague. It had finer details. The soul stopped ranting when it saw this, gradually, it became curious, what was that being ? Right, it did not stop complaining about its situation, but did it ever ask or wonder in what kind of situation they were ? No, because it was selfish, like any being, true, they did seem to know more than it. But it might be because they have been here since a longer time. Who knows ? They might need to ask.
“Who are you ? What are you doing here ? How long have you been here ? And don’t tell -Time- again, okay ?”
It changed discourse once again, the soul inquired, again and again and again, but the shape stayed silent and cold. Irritating the spirit, it took back its original attitude, shouting, screaming, yelling at the motionless being. Why, it did not make sense. The situation did not make sense. The being did not make sense. Nothing made sense ! Why ? Why ?!
Its thoughts were in such a mess that everybody could notice, if there was someone at the very least, a bomb, a volcano, it was on the verge of exploding.
Then it died, no, it did not died, the soul became quiet.
How much time passed ? It did not know. How could it know ? Was there anything human ? Where were they ? Were they in the space ? Were they in a dream ? Was it hallucinating since the very start ? How to get out then ? Why won’t they wake up ? How much time does it need to wait ? Or… was it dead ? Did it die ? Are they in the afterlife ? Is it the purgatory ? No, what could it be ? If there was a trial, what could it test ? Patience ? No, right, it needed to remember and began to mutter to itself.
“...it does not exist. It does not exist. Virtues, vices and sins are simple concepts… calm down, yeah, calm down, a calm mind… getting panicked will… alright, a last question. You won’t reply, but, I will still ask. What is the man ?”
A second purple eye opened on the being’s face, and it stared at the soul. For the first time, since seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries… how much time already ? Right, time does not exist.
“Nothing much than another living being. Just a bit more of consciousness.”
Curiosity sparkled within it. It wished to talk. Yes, to talk. To have discussion, to understand the person in front of it.
“What do you mean by consciousness ? For example, am I conscious now ?”
This question was peculiar but legitimate.
“Half. You still see and hear. You do not feel, smell or taste however. Right now, you have half conscious, because in the end, you can't not be conscious. Except that is, you have another interpretation of it. Consciousness, derived from your unconsciousness, is often what we call a synthesis of physical sensations. And if you think you are dreaming, then you are still somehow conscious but mostly unconscious. As in your dream, you still see, you still hear, you still… your consciousness is still active, however, it’s like a notification in your phone I suppose, it’s there yet not really. You just know it’s there until you click on it, which would be in the case of consciousness, until you wake up.”
That was shabby. Unexpectedly, their knowledge was only hypothetical and human-like, nothing really divine as the soul thought. It was just… normal, nothing much to talk about. It just did not fit with this figure.
This planet-sized shape, seemingly absorbing everything around it like a wormhole, the light, the stars, the colors, nothing was spared except the soul and the being itself. There were only the two of them. Nothing much.
“Mmmm… your reasoning is just… so basic, I did not expect that. I thought you would reveal me something much more… fascinating, I mean ! Look at what you are ! You look so almighty and yet… you give me a highschooler reply. How… disappointing.”
The being looked down on the soul and sighed. Indeed, it was not wrong, it just did not find any interest in it and skimmed the content. This pseudo-knowledge was just there for introducing the conversation and to relax the person hearing it. Since it was hollow and pathetic words.
“Indeed, mind telling me what your life was like ?”
The spirit stared at it, surprised by the sudden question of the being. Did it ask anything since it saw it ? Did they ? It did not remember, but if they could talk, they would be freed from that weight that was pressuring it on its shoulders.
“Why… don’t you talk about yours-”
“Would you like to cease this discussion ? And don’t spare any details, it might be the last time you get to talk with someone.”
Considering that it wondered if it was dead, it easily imagined a scenario of what would happen if it does not say everything and shake at their question. Quitting the world like this ? With no words. It could not bear this idea. It needed to expose itself, its ideas about the world.
“That…! You… Okay... so you can say I was against the society, for sure, I was not isolated at all. I was the kind to take the weapons. To overthrow this rotten system… well, I had a lot of reflexion before beginning. Fight for a fantasy and perhaps provoke a dystopia or let some Eastern Country take over the world with their projects, their money, their ideologies, their restrictions… everything everyone is supposed to despite, being forbidden to talk, to express your opinion, everything you do is… ewww… from the slightest day to the mere surface of things.”
It was far from finished, it seemed to take a break. Looking up, toward nothing, it just seemed to reminisce about its past, its life, its ideals, its motive, its will.
“So I said what everyone feared, and broadcasted it a bit everywhere… well, I was chased ! Fortunately, I already had nobody to rely on, otherwise, they would have turned their backs toward me I suppose… aaaah, the world is so screwed up.”
A sarcastic tone along with dark humor, that is what this soul is made of. Or perhaps it is what left of it. It did have this will earlier, this stubbornness, this defiance, however, not anymore, once it talked about its past. Everything faded, as fickle as its existence.
“Oh well, I knew it from the beginning, if everything my predecessors from decades ago didn’t fail, or at least not completely, we may had a chance to… aaah, I suppose it is too late now. Well, I can say I really fought till death separates us.”
If it still had a body, it would rise its hand towards the sky, tighten its fist until blood flows out, and runs along the veins of its body. Its voice became louder, as if life suddenly came back to it.
“But if it was to redo, I will do it again… again and again and again… because paradise should be on earth, we should make our land paradise ! A paradise for our good ol’ earth ! Why should we stay unhappy… why should we stay exploited… why should we let the pest take out homes ! Why… And I died without accomplishing anything ! Why… I could never take the front stage… ”
It confessed and told vaguely the course of its life so easily. Just a bit of pressure and it was enough. From where does its defiance come from ? They thought it came from its passion, however, it might be something else.
“How were your parents ?”
What about its education ?
“Ha…? Well why don’t yo… nevermind, you will probably say you will cease this conversation if I ask you something, isn’t it ? And like everyone, you will exploit this weakness of mine to continue the talk, to know more about me… Aren’t you as disgusting and repulsing as the others ? Your appearance would be the pretension of you thinking you are higher, mightier, better, and others praises you give to yourself. This oversized ego of yours make me want to puke.”
It sounded to be irritated. Rage. Right, rage. This emotion often was what saved the man from its demise, a rage plus a clear and defined ideal, a determination that can lead him to sacrifice his own life.
“Anyway… let’s get back to my family then… I was unfortunately an unique child, my mother died at my birth. My father alone raised me to the great individual I am now… or should I say was ? Well, that’s just a detail… anyway… he was very… tricky, for example, there was a shelf of what he was calling the forbidden books, guess what I was doing when he wasn’t here ? Reading those books of course, what else would I do ? Surprisingly, the books were all about… philosophy, honestly, it’s still not my cup of tea, but it helped me have a clear view on the world very young, well, you could say I didn’t have any regular childhood, but at least… I have lived my life to its fullest.”
The being stretched his four limbs and stared intensively at the soul which did not shivered in the slightest and stared straight at it.
“I see. It was interesting. I thank you for your replies.”
You can now dispose.
The soul screeched when the atmosphere itself became tensed due to the being who waved their hand once. Their curiosity was satisfied, now, it is time for it to go away.
“You…! I wi-”
“No, you won’t.”
It screamed, it echoed, its unwilling rage, the soul was shining red in front of the being. Then it saw, it could not move, it could not do anything, except shining. It’s strange, it always has been left in the shadows, it never was bright in its life. But at least, it will shine in its death. Or death already passed to be exact. So in what kind of period in its existence was it shining ? Afterdeath ? How should it call it ? That was a silly question, it could ask something else as it was its last moments. There was nothing else than darkness, entwining him, the hands tightened. The light became dimmer and dimmer as time goes on. It was suffocating.
Where was the sky ? The stars ? The fire ?
Nowhere.
"Done. It was... mmmm... interesting I suppose. I hope it never finishes."
The being muttered and sighed.
Staring at the stars, fascinated by their diversity, they were waiting.
Silence reigned and weighed over them.
When will the next one come ?
