The next evening, I awoke to the same scenario as I did every night: without Lucious beside me. I never knew where he would sleep, besides for the time we slept in the coffin together. Even then, he hugged his side of the tomb causing the same lonesome feeling in me I was accustomed to.

I opened my eyes and looked around the room, soon noticing a folded towel with a note on top laying on the foot of the bed. I crawled out from under the covers, immediately my head began to pound as the poison that once filled my veins was starting to cease it's powerful spells upon me. As I stood up, I stared at the note, my eyes starting to blur, my stomach hungry... I picked up the folded paper and read carefully.

“Take a shower and change your clothes. I'll be back soon.” The note was signed “Lucious”.

Where the hell did he go now?

I was sure that Chris had told him not to leave for fear Serena would find him. Why did he go against his wishes?

I grabbed the towel from off the bed and buried inside was a clean set of clothes that he'd picked out for me. I held the bundle in my left arm, and grabbed at my pounding head with my right hand as I made my way out the bedroom and into the hallway.

It was quiet on this night, unlike the last when I was high on that mysterious drug that consumed my body quickly... causing me to hear more than I ever could, see differently through my eyes, think, feel. It was me in that skin last night, wasn't it? Was that what it was like for real vampires: their senses more distinct than mine?

I found the bathroom at the end of the hall. It was small with just a shower and a toilet but no sink, nor any of the other commodities that a restroom would have in such a large home. Stepping into the running warm water felt great. Once again, as always, my mind was filled to the brink with thoughts that I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried to rid myself of them.

The night before was wonderful for the fact that for once, in my twenty years of being a vampire, I did not have an overflowing pattern of constant fears run through my head. Despite my laughter, my hunger, my assault on Lucious... I wished that feeling would come back again.

And yet, it was so hard to control it all.

I leaned up against the glass door and let the water sprinkle down my face. Closing my eyes, I thought of Lucious and remembered how he introduced me to my beating heart. I placed a hand on my chest, trying to be still, but couldn't feel it now.

“My heart tells me, your not ready...” The words came back to me as I stood there, heart in hand.

Finally, just I as thought it was gone, I could feel the slight beating of my heart inside my body. It rose the more I thought of Lucious. His face would come into my thoughts, the beating slightly faster; his words repeating, the beating slightly deeper. It could only mean one thing.

Am I falling... in love?

After my shower, I stumbled down the stairs and spotted Chris sitting on the couch in front of the television. He seemed to enjoy what he was watching but immediately turned his head towards me. The rest of the house was empty.

“Well, well... good evening Mikael. How do you feel?” Chris wondered as he stood up and walked over to the staircase.

I didn't answer, yet caught myself on the rail post as I tripped on the last step. I positioned myself for a moment, making sure to steady my shaky legs before shuffling over to a chair in the corner of the room.

“Hung over, huh?” Chris chuckled.

I sat with my head in hands. The shower didn't help the headache.

“Where did Lucious go?”

“Don't know, he just ran out before I had a chance to stop him. If he gets caught, it's not my problem.” Chris shrugged.

I let out a long sigh. I prayed he wouldn't get caught by Serena. It was the last thing I wanted to deal with tonight.

My stomach rumbled. It'd been days since my last feast, and I began to wonder if Lucious was starving, too. Each time I had a chance, he would take it away... but would he tell me why? Probably not. I knew if I desperately need to, I could go against him and feed, but in our predicament that was out of the question. I wasn't strong enough to go against Serena nor Sebastian if they found me.

“Hungry are ya?” Chris wondered.

“A bit, yes.”

“I would but as you can see, I'm fresh out.” He chuckled and then added. “Plus Lucious would have my head.”

So he is starving me...

“Does he just wish me to die?” I blurted out, my eyes fixed on the floor below.

“Have you ever heard of the vampire's kiss?” Chris asked.

I looked up at him in wonder. “A vampire feeding on a human?”

“Only in the movies, my friend.” Chris laughed “No, a vampire's kiss is an exchange of blood by two vampire's through a kiss.”

I stared at him quietly. I pictured in my mind two vampire's sharing such a thing, but the blood... would they bite their own tongue first before kissing each other? I tried to decipher it, but still couldn't understand.

“Puzzled?” Chris asked as he stared at me.

“A little bit.”

“It's a normal kiss, but different. As you're kissing, you bite into each other's tongues. Therefore the exchange of blood,” He explained.

“Sounds gruesome.” I noted, cold chills twisting around my spine as I pictured the act in motion.

“Ah, but very intimate when done with the right one.”

The right one...

I looked down at the floor between my feet, the slight image of Lucious and I portrayed in my head... embracing each other... just ready to share in that kiss...

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, ending my quick daydream.

“I figured you've never heard of it, seeing as you are only half. Plus, Lucious isn't the best at explaining things clearly.”

“Very true,” I sighed. “So does he intend to--”

Suddenly, I heard the front door open and slam quickly, the sound causing Chris and I to look over athe doorway.

Lucious came in, breath heavy as he held the door shut. The knob started to shake and rattle a bit and then stopped.

I stood up as Chris began to walk over to Lucious, when finally we heard the reason Lucious had come in so suddenly.

“Lucious,” Serena's voice called loudly from outside the door. “You cannot escape me!”

He swung his body around and positioned his back to the door, keeping her from entering.

“Mikael is there, too. I can smell him,” Serena hollered. “His denial lingers in the air. You plan on changing him, am I right?”

Suddenly, it grew quiet but I knew something was still being said as Lucious's eyes glazed over, his jaw dropped. A look I'd never seen before. Chris watched quietly, it seemed as if he could hear everything that was being said. Only I could not... this was the worst time for that concoction to be wearing off... then maybe I could hear what caused Lucious to suddenly slide down the door to the floor, his face now trapped in that look of fear.

Chris looked back at me. “I hope you are comfortable with your insecurities.”

What does that mean?

Chris walked away from me to the door.

“I'll go talk to her,” he said as he motioned for Lucious to move, finally stepping outside and closing the entry behind him.

I walked closer, but was nervous as to what Serena had said. Never had I seen that look on Lucious' face before, a look of absolute fear maybe... or helplessness. If only I had heard what was said.

“Lucious, what is it?” I asked as I bent down beside him.

“Its... nothing,” Lucious muttered silently.

He was huddled up in a ball, still beside the door where he slid when Chris went outside to talk to Serena. I didn't know what to say anymore if Lucious wasn't going to tell me what was going on. I was used to it, but I wished he would open up to me more and maybe we could find a solution. An answer to whatever she told him.

“Come on,” I said holding my hand out to help him up on his feet.

He looked up at me for a second, hesitating to take my hand but finally he reached out and we stood up together just as Chris stepped back in the house.

“Well, I talked her into letting you stay...” Chris began “Sort of. Actually, I told her if she comes around again I'll rip her head off and stick it on my T.V. Antenna. Maybe it would help my reception.”

Lucious failed to smile back as he brushed away the silver hair from the side of his face.

“Why don't you two go back to your room,” Chris ordered. “And stay inside!”

We both slowly crossed the living room to the stairs where I happened to take the lead. Up the stairs and into the second floor hallway all my mind could wonder about was what Serena had said to Lucious.

I found the door to the bed room first before he could and entered, making my way towards the window in the back of the room. I stood there for a second, looking outside to see if she was still around. Once Lucious was behind me, I turned to face him.

He rubbed at his face, seemingly trying to compose himself.

“What did she say?” I questioned in a hard tone, hoping he would tell me.

“Just, don't worry about it.” He said quickly as his hands dropped down to his sides.

Suddenly, a knock came at the door. We both looked up but stood silently waiting for whoever was there to let themselves in. And just as I began to walk towards the door to answer, the door opened revealing a curvy young blonde woman... the same woman from the night before. The woman I could not recall then.

“Chris sent me up to check on you,” CiCi said as she entered.

I walked closer to her, peering at her face through the hair that had fallen in front of my eyes. I recognized that expression, that figure, that hair... though it was different from the last time I saw her.

“Patricia?” I questioned.

“Excuse me?” She answered back. “I'm CiCi, remember.”

I froze in place but was certain it was her as that same face came back in my memory from before. Her tone was pleasant, different than the last time I saw her. She was the young woman who helped me when I was on the brink of death outside of Serena's mansion. She knew all about my denial and had even given herself to me. Why was she standing right in front of me now?

“No... I...” Is all I could say before stepping backwards away from her.

Her smiled towards me disappeared as she watched me back up into Lucious, the clash caused me to fall on the floor in front of him.

“What the hell?” Lucious spouted as I fell, his knee stopping my head from crashing to the floor.

She stepped closer as I lay there in fear to what I saw. I swore I had killed her. She had offered herself to me and I accepted... did I leave her without finishing what I had started? The sheer thought terrified me.

“It can't be, no...”

Just then, Chris came wandering into the room. “CiCi, go downstairs and leave them be.”

She turned around and did as he instructed without a single word. Chris then walked in the room, stopping by my side and leaning in to give Lucious a challenging glare.

“You still have much to teach him,” he declared, flashing me a steady glance before looking back up at Lucious.

I stumbled up to my feet, using Lucious as a crutch to help me steady myself. Chris then turned around and closed the door behind him.

“You know her?” Lucious wondered as I held tightly to his shirt.

“It's not like that. I fed off her. I thought she was dead!” I said, still in shock at what happened.

“That's just like you, never finishing what you started.”

“But why? Why is she with Chris?”

“Probably because he sensed her and retrieved her before she became overwhelmed in denial,” Lucious explained.

I let go of his shirt, keeping my eyes set on his.

“He saved her from denial?” I asked.

“Oh hell, Mikael, I don't know what's going on with them,” Lucious told. “But it's severely looked down upon to not finish what you started. I can only assume Chris is serving as her guardian.”

“Her guardian?” I paused a moment. Could it be... “Is that why you came back for me after all these years?”

Lucious grew silent for a moment, his eyes still poised on me. “You're creator doesn't have to be your guardian.” He sighed.

“Then why did you come back?”

He was silent again. By his silence, I knew I wouldn't get a clear answer from him. It was the same as before, he was hiding it all from me. He lowered his gaze to the floor as he put his arms down to his sides.

I couldn't stand it anymore. He would never tell me anything, although I had hoped it had changed by last night's lesson. He helped me find my beating heart but he could not explain anything else?

I darted past him towards the bedroom door, pushing it open and ran out into the hallway.

“Mikael!” I heard him yell behind me as I ran.

I wasn't going to stand there and have him silent or lie to me any more. I wanted clear answers and never received any. Why should I stay with him and accept his hand if he's not going to tell me anything?

I ran downstairs as fast as I could and found the back door, pushing it open and rushing out.

I slowed as I got to the balcony, overwhelmed at the size of the courtyard stretching out before me.

I found the back yard beautiful, a large pond filled with fish, a small waterfall, and lush plant life. If these worries would let me, I could stand there on the edge of the balcony overlooking the pond and enjoy it's beauty.

So many times I had left his side and now my heart fluttered with what I had realized earlier in the shower... I, indeed, was falling for Lucious. But despair filled me with the thought he would never reveal anything to me no matter how much I pressed. I wanted to hear reasons but they would all be empty questions.

I didn't want that to happen but didn't know what else to do. I'd assaulted him in the past for answers... what would it take now?