The cool, dense autumn air surrounded me as I left the square. The initial heavy downpour now turned to a light sprinkle. It calmed my nerves and tried to rid my thoughts of the night's activities. Yet, hunger from being drained, that drive in me to hunt for a meal, took over any rationality that was left.

Just then, I caught the scent of alcohol wafting in the fall breeze. To my right, a woman drunk on whiskey bent in the corner just had finished spewing the contents of her stomach onto the ground. My eyes glazed at this chance—an opportunity I would typically not have taken.

I rushed over to her, picked up her limp form, and dug my fangs deep into her neck as she struggled in my arms. Grasping onto her hair, my claws digging into her back, she cried out in excruciating pain. Such animalistic behavior, sadistic, and inhuman ritual I had despised of other kin—here I was almost ripping this being in two for that life I needed to sustain my own.

Her blood sour and laced with the liquor she had drank now coursed through my own veins. I realized what I had done, immediately dropping her to the ground.

This feast was unnatural of me, as I normally pursued my victims much more cleverly. I'd typically seduce them into my grasp and quietly feed upon them in lustful embrace.

I looked up at the heavens once more, rain sprinkling down on my face, washing away the blood that had spilled onto my thirsty lips. This woman's blood I had taken in showed that carnal pleasure in which spelled what I truly was... a monster.

Sanity. Could I control it without Mikael here?

I continued my journey with no where left to wander to but back to Chris's manor in which I found myself.

Immediately, upon walking into his home, I spotted him and his assistant interrogating another vampire. They had him, this vampire, pushed up against the wall and choking him so he couldn't escape. Chris's bodyguard normally did this kind of job while Chris himself would stand angrily listening to the accused confessions.

“I swear, I only gave away one bottle,” the vampire pleaded under his choking breath.

“Damn it, Marco, the shit is not free! Who did you give it to?” The assistant's red eyes bubbled with wrath.

“Fuck, I don't know. Some bastard with denial. Thought he could use it,” the vampire admitted.

“Denial?” My skin still crawled at that word.

All eyes turned towards me and then back to the vampire who was still being held against the wall.

“His scent was strong. You could smell it a mile away. What's wrong with being courteous every once and awhile?” The vampire chuckled.

In a rage, I rushed over and grabbed the vampire's throat allowing the assistant to loosen his own hold and move away. I picked him up above my head slamming him with all my strength into the ceiling above.

“Son of bitch!” I hollered. “He could have died lest I saved him!”

“Fuck you, man. He probably had one hell of a night. How many chicks did he feed on?” the vampire wondered, crooking his head as he looked down at me.

“Don't give that shit to just any one, vampire or not!” I yelled, pressing him into the ceiling harder and finally dropping him to the floor.

I left the scene with my head down. Slowly, I walked towards the stairs on that hard marble floor that covered the majority of Chris's manor. I didn't care to look back at the scene as I found myself up in our bedroom.

My anger had ceased and I stood just inside the door looking towards the bed. That old oak platform frame, crimson coat layered over the warm sheets, with black and red plush pillows induced a short cinema of memories in me. We lay there, arms wrapped around each others, lips pressed lustfully together in that warm embrace that was my gift to him.

I missed the comfort of that bed, yet I didn't think it was because of the sheets and the red comforter nor the plush, soft pillows. What I missed most, was having him beside me. Sensing his presence close to me, knowing he was there even if we did not lay close at times.

A knock came at the door, interrupting my brief memory. I turned to answer when the door opened and Chris entered with concern in his eyes and a coat folded up on his arm.

“Looks mighty suspicious walking around with blood on your shirt,” he said, holding the coat out to me.

I accepted and began pulling on the bottom of the shirt that was tucked into my jeans, finally removing it from around my shoulders and throwing it towards the bed. I examined the area where Mikael had fed off me, but there were no wounds so I slipped my arms inside the coat.

“So what the hell is going on with you anyway, Lucious?” Chris raised a brow.

I sighed. I truly did not want to discuss this with him as I knew he couldn't begin to understand. “Fuck off!”

Chris chuckled. “Sure, but have you even a care for us? Your kin.”

“I do,” I lied outrageously. “For more than fifty years, since that day I walked in that tavern.”

In truth, I hadn't considered them friends since I met Mikael, since the day I fed from him. More or less they were associates, those I try to keep good ties with while I ran from Serena's grasp.

“Oh, when I found you in that rickety old dump just outside of Central?” Chris smiled as he tipped down his tinted glasses.

“No, I found you...” The memory of it all flashed back before my eyes.

“That may be true.” Chris chuckled once more.

“I had walked into that tavern and saw you at the poker table with two women.”

“That's the night you had just escaped Serena's hold on you, wasn't it?” Chris wondered.

“Yes,” I rolled my eyes. “I hadn't a clue as to what the city had in store for me.”

“Well isn't it good that you had walked in that night? You sat down next to me at that table ready to win it all or lose it all.”

“Like a child, I suppose. I remember that quite well actually,” I admitted.

“You had nothing to offer at that table, but weren't we lucky to have such beauty's at our disposal,” Chris continued.

“Nadia.” I sighed.

“She teased you so much that night, but she happened to like you a lot. As a matter of fact, I turned her for you, isn't that right?”

I rolled my eyes again. Chris was an elder vampyre then, and could only successfully turn another into a vampire. But this was a part of my eternity I had hoped would pass. Nadia and I had no bond such as what was between Mikael and I, but what we did have a lifetime of pain and pleasure.

“Unfortunately.”

“She wanted you that night, and each night forth when she realized our true form, begged you to turn her. You had no heart to do so nor could you, therefore she begged me. She wanted to be with you, Lucious. What happened with that?” Chris asked.

I stared at him. I wanted to stop talking about this past—our past we had shared together was now a distant memory in the back of my mind.

“Is it wrong to no longer want to be associated with that whore?” I sighed.

“Is it wrong to tell me then? You never tell me anything anymore, Lucious.”

“So tell me, when did you start dealing drugs, Chris?” I threw a question back into his face.

“What was that?”

“You heard me. Your attic is full of paraphernalia, bottles, and pills. Were you never going to tell me about your little operation?” I wondered.

“It's a service to the city, Lucious. These wonderful little peons need something in life to count on better than simple crack or cocaine.”

“What is it then? Exactly what are you feeding them?”

“It's no matter to you. What the deal now is that you, dear Lucious, have been mind-fucked by some kid with denial. If you want a companion, you have Nadia!”

“Fuck that bitch!” I cried, outraged by our discussion.

“Did I hear someone call?” A familiar voice called out from the hallway.

It was Nadia who had, with her keen senses, heard our conversation from down in the living room. Now she was standing close to me, arms wrapped around my chest as I stood still, eyes set on the floor, arms crossed over my chest.

“You're looking more and more like a whore every day,” I sneered.

“Well, aren't you being friendly tonight, Lucious.” She leaned her lips towards my cheek. They graced the side of my face with her poisonous kiss, and I quickly stepped away from her.

“Stay away from me,” I informed, as she moved away and I straightened my spine once more.

“Lucious here has been through one hell of a night, Nadia. Make that one hell of a journey. I'm afraid he's torn.” Chris laughed as he peered at Nadia through his sunglasses.

“Is it that one you've searched for all these years?” She kept her distance from me.

I didn't answer her. I had realized long ago that even Nadia could never understand my own fight not to lose my humanity and my fight to save Mikael. In truth, it was in her character to feel threatened by him, as he truly was the only person I had ever shown any affection for.

“He's a half,” Chris blurted out “Was a half, anyway. Lucious here is his maker and companion.”

“You?” She looked up at me “You made him, but feared to give your gift to me?”

Suddenly, I caught the scent of fresh blood in the air. It was close, too close as if it was happening just outside the door. The smell, too, was familiar as if I'd been there before with the person who bled just then.

I could hear the soft whimpers of a familiar voice through the wall yet it seemed not to bother Chris and Nadia who still stood before me, ready to interrogate me more.

“Where's CiCi, Chris?” I found myself spouting.

Chris stood still. “She's fine, Lucious.”

I darted past the two and out the bedroom door. The sound was coming from the bedroom next door and I flung open the door and stared at the sight.

CiCi was being fed upon quite horrifically by one of Chris's guests. She was pinned to the bed, struggling under the vampire's strong arms, her breath heavy and beginning to fade. I rushed to her aid, pulling the vampire from his grasp and sat next to her on the bed.

Her eyes were beginning to droop from the blood loss she had suffered. She pointed towards the bedside drawers where I saw a bottle of pills lay spilled on their side.

“I haven't taken one in days,” she muttered.

Chris had escorted his guest out of the room, leaving CiCi alone with only I to care for her. I stood up, reaching for a lone capsule and immediately handed it to her as she lay weak on the bed.

“Where... where is Mikael?” She choked out, trying to swallow the pill.

“He's gone,” I answered softly, running my hand down the side of her cheek to comfort her.

She smiled at me despite her pain, and placed her hand upon my arm as I reached her chin.

“He always seemed so nervous around me,” she said, and I smiled back at her. “Could it be because we had known each other in the past?”

“What was that?” I stopped and grabbed hold of her hand.

“I don't know, but I've had dreams. We're sitting, talking, my neck close to his lips. I can feel his fangs in me, drawing out my life into him. I'm smiling, as if I want him to.” She paused for a second. Her smile now turned into concern. She glanced at my hands holding hers tightly as she spoke. “What does this mean, Lucious?”

My eyes were wide now with her confessions. She explained these happenings as if they were real and although I was not there to watch this with my own eyes, I knew Mikael had at one time bitten her.

Was it possible... Did this mean CiCi was beginning to regain her memories?