No matter what happens to my body, no matter how many of these accursed creatures tear at my bleeding skin... I must go forward.

That was the mission given to me. The sole purpose for my current existence. In Medrauta’s absence, I had to be twice as strong so that I could fill the void she left. How different would this operation have been if she were at the spearhead instead of me?

I didn’t know, but one thing was for sure: she wouldn’t let anyone die. Not a single person.

For that reason, I swung my blade.

“Brigitte!” One of my cohorts shouted. I couldn’t recall her name mid-combat, but I was sure it started with an L. “You’re moving too quickly! We can’t keep up with you!”

What would Medrauta do?

That single thought echoed in my mind as I continued moving my arms, carving through the endless swarm of darkness that blocked my vision. The only thing I could see was the glowing blade of my sword, Secace. Dame Eirlys had given it to me prior to dispatching my cohort to Jestel Plaza, commanding us to free it from the witchspawn influence that had spread throughout the city like a cancer.

It wasn’t as if I was lost without her. Rather, I considered myself a lot less prone to impulsive decisions than she, and I was markedly better than her at tactics, a fact that was likely pivotal in influencing Dame Eirlys’ decision to give me this mission. But that was it. In the heat of battle, I had neither the confidence nor the impressive skill that she possessed.

Even so... I must fill that role so she and Lady Viviane can return with a smile on their faces. I grit my teeth whirling around as I swept my gleaming sword in a wide arc, dispatching several witchspawn at once. Though my technique wasn’t as brutally powerful as Esmeralda’s, I’d still managed to clear the way for my comrades and earn them some breathing room while I hurried to rejoin them.

“I’m sorry, Loretta.” I said, finally remembering her name as the haze of battle faded from my mind. “I’ll take more care to match everyone’s pace from now on.”

“Uh, no, you don’t need to—” Loretta stopped, shaking her head. “What’s gotten into you, Brigitte?”

“W-What do you mean?”

“You’re... It’s so weird. You’re trying to do everything perfectly. That’s not like you.”

“I... I’m not.”

That was all I could muster. What Loretta said was true... I was trying to be someone I wasn’t, but that someone was so vital that I couldn’t help it, especially when we were being thrown right into the thick of it. In a situation like this, I knew very well that I wasn’t going to be enough.

If she were here, she would’ve been the one to take command, and I would be by her side, proudly supporting her and admonishing her impulsive mistakes. In a supporting role, there would be none who could match me, but in the spotlight...? I never should have made it to this position in the first place.

That’s why—

“Brigitte!” It was Loretta again. “The next wave is coming! What do we do!?”

Six files, innumerable ranks. Without those ranks, it’d be a medium-sized engagement, but they’ll probably encircle us. I inspected the incoming wave of witchspawn, running through the tactical theory I’d studied.

“Form up tightly, shields at the ready! And remember to make use of those mana neutralizers!” I shouted as confidently as I could. “Belita can take the center with her spear. I’ll be in the front!”

The knights quickly moved into position even as I spoke, their deft movements conveying the trust they had in me. I didn’t question it as much this time. I might be acting pretty weird, but I was sure of my tactical acumen at the very least. In that alone I could say I surpassed Medrauta.

I took my stance in the front, Secace at the ready. The tip of its blade seemed to pulse, as if recognizing that the time to ruminate on the extent of my abilities had long passed. I still felt inferior to Medrauta, but now wasn’t the time to indulge that particular depressive spiral. Right now, I needed to do my best and make sure all of us survived this wave and the next.

I stepped forward, preparing to advance despite the incoming beasts. My feet were planted firmly beneath me, unwilling to give these monstrous invaders any ground. With a powerful roar, I stepped forward and rammed the length of my blade through the first witchspawn unlucky enough to enter my reach, skewering and vaporizing it in the span of a second.

Beside me, I could hear the clamor of combat erupt to new heights, my cohorts struggling against the waves of black that crashed into them without pause. Their shields shone in the light of the noonday sun, holding back the fierce tide of darkness threatening to overwhelm our position. Had they been focused on annihilating us, it would have been over in a second.

But they weren’t. Strangely enough, the witchspawn that we weren’t directly impeding simply rushed past us, driving themselves mindlessly toward where the academy lay. Perhaps Eirlys had already anticipated this. It would make quite a bit of sense, especially considering the fact that we were the only group she decided to send on a mission as dangerous as this. If we were to die immediately upon wading into the fray, I doubt she would’ve given us such a foolish task.

“Forward!” I shouted, letting the rush of adrenaline through my veins take me far away from my self-doubts. I wouldn’t think about Medrauta again until I reached Jestel Plaza. That was the oath I swore to myself for the next fifteen minutes, the next hour, or however the hell long it’d take for us to get there.

We pushed and pushed against the incessant tide until we were finally clear of it, cutting and bashing our way through the witchspawn horde. At last we had reached our first checkpoint.

A hill of stones and wood made from the ruins of what used to be homes, the checkpoint was little more than an insult to the beautiful city that was once the capital. Yet, it ironically provided us a safe haven for now. Elevated high enough for the witchspawn to run around it instead of attempting to scale it on their mindless charge toward the academy, it was a place where we could rest and catch our breaths despite being in the thick of the witchspawn army.

I planted Secace firmly into the mound of rubble, leaning on its hilt. Normally, I wouldn’t dare do such a thing with another blade for fear of dulling its edge, but Secace was a different matter altogether. I had no idea what it was made of or where Dame Eirlys even got it from, but the thing was practically unbreakable. Its edge was eternally keen and seemed to glow with an internal light, almost like the tales of Caliburn in stories about the first emperor.

As the adrenaline in my veins gradually faded, I took the moment to inspect the state of my comrades. So far, no one had been seriously injured and it looked like morale was still high despite the grueling experience they’d just gone through.

Loretta was sitting with her friend. I think her name was Emily, and last I remembered, the two of them had been pretty gung-ho about being sent into the middle of the horde. In fact, I could faintly recall how they’d attempted to make a push toward the Spire without Dame Eirlys’ position the moment they heard that Amelia might be at the top.

Well, I’m just glad they’re still here... I sighed, staring off into the distance. Jestel Plaza seemed to be so far away from where we stood even though it had once been a place where Levant and I had frequented. In fact, he was planning to have his first date as a married couple with Lady Maria after the festival, but... Yeah. Shit happens, I guess.

“Brigitte?” Loretta called out. Emily was standing beside her, both of them looking rather refreshed. However, the concern in Loretta’s voice was almost palpable. For a moment, I wondered what could’ve worried her so much, but I could only find my own reflection in her eyes.

I forced a smile on my face, hoping it looked as casual as I thought. “What’s up, Loretta? You and Emily got something to ask?”

“No, we were just wondering if you were doing alright...” Loretta said.

Emily nodded. “Dame Eirlys might’ve put you in command, but we’re senior knights. We’ve got a bit of experience with the burden of responsibility, and you looked like you were having a tough time of it.”

“No, I just... It’s nothing.” I shook my head, sighing. What was the point of telling them? Rule number one of maintaining morale was to be confident. A commander can never allow their subordinates to doubt their abilities. After all, who the hell would be dumb enough to follow someone who didn’t even believe in themselves?

No one, that’s who.

Loretta held my gaze for a couple seconds before reluctantly accepting that I wasn’t going to budge. “Alright... We just... wanted to give you a place to vent if you needed it. But if everything’s okay, then let’s push on, shall we? Everyone’s all rested up and ready to hit the next checkpoint.”

A single glance to the knights behind them confirmed the truth of their words. As it turns out, I was the only one who had madly expended my stamina, all in an unconscious bid to chase what I thought was the ideal commander in battle. Even when I had sworn not to think of her, it seemed that my body wanted to emulate her.

But I wasn’t like this when she was here... Am I really that reliant on Medrauta?

I retrieved Secace, resting it on my shoulder as I peered down the hill. There was still quite a bit of ground to cover and I still had to make good on my promise to ensure that none of my cohorts fell on the way to the plaza. That wasn’t even considering the most important part of our mission yet: setting up an outpost.

Indeed, Dame Eirlys had tasked us with more than simply reaching the plaza and wiping out the witchspawn there. The success of this plan—and her future plans—hinged solely on our ability to create a permanent outpost in the plaza. Merely reaching it wouldn’t be enough for us to finally start retaking the city. Even now, Melindra and Esmeralda were probably trying their hardest to hold back the endless waves of witchspawn that drove themselves against the academy’s defenses tirelessly.

At first, I wondered if they were thinking of Medrauta too, but the thought disappeared from my mind in the same instant as it appeared. It was foolish to even consider, and I knew them better than that. Beyond talented on horseback, there was no way Melindra would even consider Medrauta’s absence something that would hold her back.

Although Dame Eirlys was reluctant to do it, Melindra had been appointed as the leader of her own squadron, a mobile task force that roamed around the academy’s perimeter and responded quickly to any falling flanks or sudden influxes of witchspawn attacks. They were probably the single most important group contributing to the academy’s continued defense.

Meanwhile, Esmeralda was in a class of her own too. Although she had begun as a knight who was comparable in skill to myself, her repeated duels against Medrauta had shaped her into a warrior who few could match. While she couldn’t count herself among the strongest junior knights in the empire, she was certainly one of the strongest knights in the academy, and her greatsword technique proved it.

I had my fair share of duels against Medrauta as well, but my skills never reached Esmeralda’s heights. It was unfortunate, but Dame Eirlys had told me that it was a matter of talent, and that mine lay elsewhere. I suppose that was true, though. Melindra could barely count to twenty, and Esmeralda was practically hopeless when it came to coordinating artillery, but I never really struggled with the more academic aspects of knighthood unlike the others. In fact, I rather enjoyed the tactics classes.

But that was because they made me better at supporting my friends. I began descending the hill, the members of my squad following in tow. I had studied purely for the sake of knowing how to advise Medrauta, Melindra, and Esmeralda in best utilizing their abilities during mock skirmishes. That was why we had never lost a single one, even against the fourth-year students. But now that I was placed in the spotlight... I didn’t know what to do.

I could no longer sit back and direct my allies, nor could I support their mighty attacks with my own. Instead, I was now the strongest knight among my squad, and that role was a much heavier burden than I expected. A burden I could only carry by becoming—

“You don’t need to.”

“H-Huh?” I whirled around, finding myself face-to-face with Loretta.

“You don’t need to, Brigitte.” She repeated. “You don’t need to try and become someone else. I don’t know whether you’re trying to live up to Dame Eirlys’ expectations or emulate Medrauta’s crazy way of plowing through numbers she shouldn’t be able to, but you don’t have to do that, Brigitte.”

“N-No, you’re mistaken! I-I... I just—”

“You’re just fine the way you are.” Loretta said.

I don’t know what it was about those words at that moment, but tears began falling from my eyes. Uncontrollably, I wept like a goddamn idiot in front of all the knights I was supposed to be leading into battle. I was sure a few of them were looking at me with disappointment, but I couldn’t tell.

I had wrenched my eyes shut, unwilling to face the consequences of my impulses. All this time, had I just been waiting for someone to tell me that?

...Of course not. It wasn’t like I couldn’t accept myself. I was perfectly fine. I just... I just wanted to be something more now that I was in the spotlight. I just wanted to be someone who could protect everyone. Someone like Medrauta.

“...But she didn’t. She couldn’t.” Loretta said gently. The other knights in the squad were clustered around me now, placing their hands on my back supportively.

“We know that best, Brigitte.” Emily said, giving me a sad smile. “She was right there. All of us were right there when it happened... But none of us could save her. None of us could save Trista.”

Ah... She’s right... I lowered my head as those words smacked me straight in the gut like an iron battering ram. How could I have forgotten?

All this time, I had thought of Medrauta as some sort of invincible knight who led from the front, destroying all those who stood in their way. Perhaps it was due to all the mock skirmishes we had participated in together. She never even allowed so much as a single scratch to mark her armor despite throwing herself into the thick of it. Yet even she couldn’t save Trista...

...No one could. We had all stood there stunned as Amelia impaled the once-lively knight through the chest. I couldn’t do anything except shiver in fear. It was a moment that no knight could be proud of, for there were so many of us in attendance, yet none of us could save a single life from being taken.

Just what kind of burdens am I putting on her when she’s not even here...? I shook my head. Emily and Loretta were right. I was Brigitte. She was Medrauta. She was far stronger than me, but in the end, we were both knights. One and the same. I didn’t need to become like her just to ensure my men would remain alive at the end of this fight.

After all, my forces never suffered a casualty in any of those mock skirmishes, and I didn’t intend to do so in this very real skirmish either. At last, I understood why Dame Eirlys had appointed me as commander of this force. It wasn’t because I was Medrauta’s replacement. Rather, Melindra was likely the one filling in for Medrauta’s role in all of this. Her mobility and ability to simply shred through massed forces without taking a single hit was unique to her.

There was no doubt in my mind that Dame Eirlys would’ve fielded Medrauta as the leader of the mobile response force had she been here. Melindra likely would’ve headed a second one, allowing for a more comprehensive response time throughout the academy’s perimeter. I was appointed to my current position not because I was overwhelmingly strong, but because I could get everyone here to the objective and back home in one piece.

I raised my head.

“Thank you, Loretta. Emily. Everyone.”

That day, Jestel Plaza was cleared within a mere thirty minutes. The outpost was constructed within another thirty, and we all returned to the academy with barely an injury for our troubles. I was proud of the accomplishment, but more than that, I was glad.

I was glad no one perished even though Medrauta wasn’t here... and I was glad that I could finally think of myself as a knight who stood not behind her, but beside her. It was strange, really. I was always a knight she respected and someone she consulted before taking on truly important decisions, yet all this time, I had thought myself inferior to her.

How stupid.

In the end you were the only one who thought we were equals, huh? I shook my head, laughing at my own idiocy. The mere fact that she chose to be my friend had already meant we were equals. I was just too caught up with my delusions to realize that. Well, not anymore. I’m sorry, Medrauta.... and thank you.