Though I had died, I am still alive. Or at least, I think I am.
I mean, it’s not easy to just accept your own death. Especially when you still feel conscious. Don’t get me wrong now. The numbness and emptiness are self-evident. I also don’t actually feel anything whatsoever... But that doesn’t matter.
Because I am still conscious.
I kept repeating this. I guess death doesn’t end consciousness? Does this mean I am doomed to experience this nothingness for the rest of my existence?
Surely not. If that is the case, at least let me use my arms and legs. I’m tired of them jiggling around like Jell-O in this vast darkness.
Or is that too much to ask for?
Maybe I should try thinking really hard about it. Really hard. So hard, in fact, that my brain might burst from the sudden overload of information. Would that actually work? Of course not. All I can do right now is think, and one can’t think any harder when that’s all they can do.
I let out an inaudible chuckle.
So death won't even let me laugh?
“You don’t seem to be enjoying your current situation.”
The sudden intrusion caught me off guard. A voice? Surely not.
It was a sweet one too. Soft, calming, and caring. Like that of a mother speaking to her newborn. It was just what I needed to hear as I faced my existential crisis.
“Why thank you, you’re going to make me blush.”
So, I’m not going crazy, huh? The voice was legit, and it was reading my mind, too. They do say two times a charm, so I think I’m still sane.
“Just for now, my friend, you will soon leave this place.”
Leave? To where?
I’m not fond of this place, so that’s good to hear. But it better be someplace good. If you are God, which I think you may be, please send me to a fantasy world with a game-like system. I can save the world, a princess or whatever. I don’t mind at all.
“Sorry, but that’s not how it works. Your destination is the Inferno. In other words, Hell.”
…
What?
Wait, just give me a moment to process what I just heard…Hell? You jest… Inferno? You tease… I know I was by no means a saint, but c’mon.
“This is the final destination for all Lost-Souls. Your countdown has already begun. It was nice knowing you.”
The nothingness was interrupted by a single bold white number that appeared in front of me: ‘TEN.’ It dropped, ‘NINE,’ ‘EIGHT,’ ‘SEVEN,’ ‘SIX,’ ‘FIVE,’ ‘FOUR,’ ‘THREE,’ ‘TWO,’ ‘ONE’…
I didn’t even try to stop it or fight against what was happening. If Hell truly is my destination… then bring it on.
The darkness was now being challenged by a light which grew ever brighter with every passing second. Soon, it enveloped me whole, piercing deathly rays into my pupils that forced my eyes shut. My eyelids reddened as I winced against the illumination, feeling something for the first time in a while.
Ground?
It’s pretty cold. The sensation ran up my legs from the base of my feet, sending little shocks up my spine as my brain registered the sensation. It’s freezing ~~! Well, isn’t that pleasant? My feet could hardly stay planted for longer than a second as I jittered about awkwardly.
Screw this.
As I continued my little happy feet moment, I raised my arms, numbed with static, to rub my eyes open. The light was still unforgiving, but I pushed through. What does hell look like? I needed to know.
My eyes peered open.
A thick, heavy, difficult-to-see-through fog shrouded my vision and engulfed everything around me as my feet pranced on what I could only call an all-white floor.
Wait, where are the demons?
Scratch that thought, I actually prefer this. I don’t want to see any demons or stay in hell whatsoever.
I skipped along the white surface, which turned out to be a tile that ended abruptly, revealing a black tile adjacent to it. Is the floor checkered patterned? My first thesis was formed, and I was determined to prove it yay or nay.
Let's test this out….
Black, White, Black, White, Black, White…
The colours interchanged in every direction I moved, perfect square tiles.
My thesis was proven correct, but it wasn’t very rewarding. The fog persisted, preventing me from seeing even five meters in front of me, making everything feel redundant.
Shall we take a little roam, then?
I took off down the checkered endlessness and through the dense fog. I don’t know exactly where I started or where I’m going, but I have to do something.
As my feet clapped against the cool tiles, a sudden realization hit me… I’m barefoot right now? Not only that but for some reason, all I had on was a white gown… with no underwear on to boot.
The thought was buried.
Maybe an hour or two has passed. I don’t know. I’m just getting tired of this. My once mighty strides have been reduced to a gruelling, reluctant trudge.
When will this end?
My thoughts consumed everything. Is this why it’s hell? Cuz I’ll be stuck here doing this for eternity? It’s not much different from where I was before. I’m just stuck feeling cold and uncomfortable now, too.
I really want that voice to return. Sure, she or it sent me here, but at least it was something. When was the last time I truly had human interaction? I wasn’t even a NEET back on earth.
My stomach let out a deadly growl.
Oh shit, I’m hungry.
I squeezed my belly tight to fight back the sensation. Where am I supposed to find food here?
The fog started to look oddly appetizing.
I mean, hear me out. Technically, the fog is vaporized water, so it should be edible. My brain stopped working, and my mouth gaped open. I ran about, taking as much of the fog-moisture in as possible.
I could taste the water, or maybe I’m just making it up. My mindless titan run continued until I caught something out of my peripheral.
Light?
My mouth closed.
It was getting closer and closer, fighting against the endless scrumptious fog… approaching me. There was a slight jingle that I could hear. It moved in tandem with the light, soon accompanied by giant footsteps.
They got louder and soon overpowered the jingle because it was what I wanted to hear.
Is this a Demon?
An Angel?
God?
What exactly will be my first encounter in the Inferno?
I could finally make out their outline.
Round. Quite round and large indeed. This thing is at least seven feet tall. Towering as it approached, steps heavier and more defined with each pace.
“Why hello there, Lost-Soul.”
The voice boomed in the vast emptiness, carrying purpose and a hint of compassion.
“Cat caught your tongue?”
A laugh bellowed from its mighty chest as it finally entered my field of vision.
…
Before me stood a cheerful, towering figure with a fair complexion adorned with rosy cheeks. His round, aged face was complemented by a large brown beard and robust eyebrows, all framed by the welcoming curve of his lips. Atop his head rested what appeared to be a black cowboy hat while he sported brown trousers, a white button-up collared shirt, and a gray vest. In one hand, he grasped a lamppost decorated with a little bell while a sizable black knapsack hung from his back.
…
Their human.
I sighed in relief as I looked up with awe! He's the first person I’ve seen in what’s been ages.
“My name is Virgil, and it is an honour to meet you. What is your name!”
“My name is Shi. Nice to meet you too.”
“Shi? You must be Japanese!”
His voice echoed as another huge holler left his body. He placed a burly hand on my shoulder, patting it down with force he probably didn’t know he had.
Ouch.
“Mr. Virgil, is this Hell?” I winced.
His face darkened slightly as his gaze turned away, and his hand fell reassuringly onto my shoulder.
“It is.”
My heart fell.
“This is the Inferno, and I serve as a guide for Lost-Souls who seek retribution.”
“Retribution?”
“Yes,” he confirmed. “This place can be considered nine separate realms, each signifying a Deadly Sin. The goal for lost souls is to reach the lowest realm, where they may find salvation.”
I took a moment to digest the words that cut deeply into my soul. A part of me stood adamantly against this for too long until now.
I am in Hell. It’s set in stone. I can't keep pretending that it isn’t the case. My lips trembled as I opened them.
“I can reach salvation in the lowest realm?”
“That is correct. We are currently in Limbo. You have eight more realms to go.”
His voice was heavy.
“I appear to Lost-Souls upon their entrance to a realm and offer three pieces of advice according to their desires.”
He held up three burly, stubby fingers, bringing one down instantly.
“Please listen to your desires.”
“1. Thou shalt journey unto the place where the fog doth thin, to replenish thy deprivation."
“2. Thou shalt traverse the seven gates, quenching thy thirst for knowledge."
“3. Fear not, for in conquering thy fear, thou shalt unlock thy true potential."
My mouth gaped open.
“What does any of this even mean?”
“You will find out with time.”
His smile returned, though it was slightly less jolly. The warm hand that rested on my shoulder slowly lifted off.
“It is time for me to go. I wish you well as you travel through Limbo.”
His giant feet turned away as I stood there, still shocked. He began to walk whence he came as I grasped at the fog, unable to utter any words to tell him to stay.
The light from the lamppost disappeared as the jingle from the bell got feinter and feinter… I’m alone again, and he is gone.
Another eternity came and went as I continued my aimless journey. The feeling of hunger I had earlier was replaced entirely with anger… or better yet, I should say, ‘hanger.’ I continued to clutch my empty stomach as I muttered the first desire Virgil told me about—something along the lines of finding the thin fog to fill my stomach.
I looked around, but the fog was the same in every direction. Where on earth does it thin? Where does it clear? I closed my eyes. It’s the only time the grey mass doesn’t impede my vision… wait a minute. Everything is red? I opened my eyes quickly, then closed them again.
It's still red, odd. I initially thought I was seeing red due to my eyes readjusting to the light, but I guess I was wrong. I closed them again for an extended period this time…. Slowly, very slowly, black blotches began to appear in my vision, eating away at the red until it consumed everything.
What?
I slowly opened my eyes and closed them again. The same thing happened.
What if I face a different direction?
My second hypothesis was formed, and I began experimenting. North, South, East…. WEST! The red remained fully intact, impeded only by a small amount of the black blotches. Is this where the fog is thinnest?
I took off in that direction, eyes still closed as the red became brighter and brighter, stinging my eyeballs as tears rolled out of my sockets. If it wasn’t for my complete determination and willpower to fill my stomach, I couldn’t have done this at all.
Soon, it was too much to bear. The temptation to open my eyes was too real… why does it feel like I'm staring at the sun?
*THUD*
Damn, that hurts.
My eyes opened as I rubbed them profusely…. A wall?
Though still hazy from the prolonged burning they went through, my eyes made out the grooves of wooden logs that extended each way before being consumed by the endless fog. My suspicions tell me this must be a building of some sort… and better yet… there should be food here!
I ran around the perimeter, hand still slightly grazing the wood until I finally stumbled upon the entrance. Nice! I grabbed at the handle of the wooden door… wait a minute, this is hell. My heart dropped. There was no way I was about to open this super-duper suspicious door unprepared mentally!
I took a deep breath in as I gently heaved it open, fighting the nerves and hearing a little click as I was exposed to the interior of what looked like an empty cabin with a single dangling light affixed to the ceiling swaying eerily.
“Why hello there,” a voice hissed. “Come on inssssside, my friend.”
I turned toward the direction of the voice.
It was to my right, standing out of the light's reach. My heart began to beat rapidly, my body sweating, and my legs rooted to the floor as if I had become a support beam.
Before me stood a pitch-black figure in a butler's uniform. Though it was slender and shaped like a human, its neck was oddly elongated, and its face was that of a snake. Two piercing green eyes with black slits for pupils stared back at me as I fell to the ground, overtaken with fear.
“Be careful now,” it hissed again. “The floor is not at all comfortable.”
It was around two feet away from me… can I run away? I looked behind me.
*THUD*
The door closed… and with it, my opportunity to flee.
“I thought you were hungry? Stay and eat for a bit before you leave.”
It clapped its hands together, and instantly… the room changed. I was now sitting on a chair with a small wooden table in front of me. The rest of the cabin was also different. There was more light now, and what looked like a bar stand appeared out of nowhere at the very back. The rest of the area was filled with seating similar to mine.
A bar? I thought. It looks like one. But how did the room change so quickly? And where is that snake-like thing in the butler's uniform?
“Try thissssss.”
A plate was pushed in front of me from behind, containing what I could only call pork katsu curry. A beautiful aroma filled my nose – damn. This smells good.
… Wait a minute.
I jumped out of my seat and whipped around. The snake stood looking at me with a glass of water in its hand, tilting its head slightly.
“What? Don’t you like pork cutletsssss? Don’t tell me your vegetarian...”
“No!” I yelled. “What the hell is going on here? Who are you, and why are you giving me food?? Aren’t you a demon??”
It twitched upon hearing that last word.
“The Devil? Yes. But I am a bartender firssst. Just take a ssssseat and eat your food. We can talk once you’ve had your fill.”
My stomach growled, and my face blushed. A smug expression graced its scaly face as it placed the cup down next to my food and walked… sorry, slithered towards the bar stand, shaking its head.
“Kidssss these days… tut, tut.”
I sat back down in my seat and noticed that I had no chopsticks… I turned to face the creature.
“Excuse me, sorry, I don’t have any utensils.”
It stuck a long pink snake tongue out at me and hissed before clapping its hands again. Then, two chopsticks appeared in front of me that I eagerly grabbed.
“Thank you!”
I said grace and immediately started digging into the food… I’ll figure out what to do next after I fill my stomach.
