“-Hey, I told you to keep it down! What if he wakes up?”
“Then let it be so… my point still hath yet to waver! As I said before-”
What the hell is going on? And what on earth is that foul smell…
…
I can’t say for sure how much time has passed, nor can I tell if my current predicament is something I should be worried about.
Sure, being tied to a chair, blindfolded, gagged, seemingly stripped of all clothes and forced to smell what can only be considered pure raw earthiness is bad… but it could be worse. For example, imagine if I was being beaten by some cruel demon with a pitchfork… that would be ten times more horrific.
“Preposterous! How could you even come to that blatant fallacy of a conclusion with all the evidence in front of your laggard eyes?”
“Hath it yet dawn on you that, perchance, you may be the individual in the wrong here?”
…
Oh yeah, there's also that.
I regained consciousness around twenty minutes ago. In that time, two individuals have been going back and forth, speaking rhetorical jargon that I can’t even bother to pay attention to. By the sounds of their voices and outlines (that I can see using [Red Realm]), they are quite old.
“Verily, I am compelled to question the purpose of engaging in this superfluous discourse. Are we not already acquainted with the lamentable consequences that accompany the pursuit of worldly desires? It appears evident that this individual is, in truth, an unenlightened soul who has not yet cleansed his intellect of impure notions!”
Harsh, is he talking about me?
“I mean, look for yourself! His unsheathed blade still stands despite falling unconscious… he is a barbarian!”
“… Surely there is a reason for his deplorable behaviour.”
…
Wait what? I hadn’t even noticed… why is ‘derando’ still standing? Go down, little buddy! There's nothing for you to see here!
I need to think about pure thoughts… PURE THOUGHTS.
“There is no excuse for such acts. Stop sympathizing with this uneducated swine!”
“Shall we ask him ourselves then? Let us give him a chance to explain himself.”
I saw their black outlines move to face me.
Shoot, looks like it's time.
One of them gently removed the blindfold, and I found myself confronted by my captors. Just as I had thought, they were both old dudes. The individual on the left donned a complete black robe. His face wore a weathered, disapproving look. And he had little to no hair atop his head despite the fullness of his grey beard. It looked like his gaze was staring daggers into my soul.
On the other hand, the one on the right was a jolly old fellow. He wore a white robe decorated with little suns on its sash. His face was bright despite his age, and he had a full head of long locks with a beard to complement it. He gave off complete sage vibes… and he held a blunt in his hand.
So that’s where the smell was coming from…Thank God I’m still gagged, or I would have burst out laughing.
The pothead’s lips curled into a pleasant smile.
“Greetings, my name is Aristotle. How do you do?” he took a long drag from the spliff, blowing the residual in my direction as my eyes watered.
…Wait, did he just say Aristotle?
“Can’t you see he’s still gagged!?”
The angry one gave a forceful slap to the back of his head before proceeding to extract the cloth that was lodged in my mouth.
“My name is Plato, and I must ask: Do you go by pervert as your acts clearly show your derogatory demeanour. That brain of yours is rotting with nasty fantasies that even a God would struggle to love you.”
Wow, that’s harsh. So he was definitely the one tearing into me earlier. But it is quite strange. Are they really Plato and Aristotle, or just two deranged old fools?
“Well,” I spoke. “My name is Shi. It’s nice to meet you both.”
“Shi?” Plato spat. “He’s another one of those Han fellows from the east. You do your people a disgrace through your acts! Be ashamed!”
“About that, I think there’s a bit of a misunderstanding…”
Aristotle's eyes lit up.
“See? What did I say? I told you we shouldn’t bother to chat about it ourselves. Let us have our good friend Shi explain what happened.”
I couldn’t contain my smile. Why couldn’t Plato be more like his teacher? What an understanding guy!
“One hundred percent! Please let me explain myself! Oh, and please give me some clothes to wear…”
Plato scoffed.
“A barbarian does not need clothes.”
“Oh, stop that!” Aristotle chimed. “Let’s move somewhere more comfortable to debate this.”
This really isn’t something I want to do right now, but it seems I have no choice. I followed behind Aristotle and Plato, who led me out of the room after untying me from the chair. This place can best be described as a large wooden shack with multiple dark rooms and loose floorboards. It’s quite surprising that some of ‘the greatest minds’ ever to exist are now calling it home.
We finally came to a stop in front of a wooden door. Aristotle let out a little whistle as he forced it open. A creak akin to nails scratching on a chalkboard sent shivers down my spine as the door was forced open.
“We haven’t used this place in a while, right Plato?” a cough escaped the sage’s mouth as he brushed off the cobwebs along the doorframe.
“There hasn’t been a reason to.”
Plato pushed into the room first, locating a switch and flicking the light on in the room. Inside was a single wooden table with four chairs around it.
He ushered for me to enter.
“Take a seat, boy. Let us dialogue.”
Each of us took a seat as awkward silence filled the room. Aristotle began to rummage in his robes, pulling out another joint which he eagerly lit despite still having the other one in his mouth (is he Snoop Dogg?).
“What? Will you just sit there all day?” Plato jeered. “Get to explaining, or shall I go first?”
“N-No, I can!” I stammered. “To make a long story short, I’m still new to Limbo. I don’t even think it’s been more than forty-eight hours since I came here. After receiving some help from Virgil, I figured out how to get here-”
“Shush, boy!” he hissed. “I don’t care about all that waffle!”
Plato lifted an old, withered finger towards the bottom of his eye socket, dragging it down excessively to make his eye bulge.
“Why were you staring at those young ladies? I saw you! I was just trying to enjoy my time at the community centre doing yoga with my club when this fiend appeared. Immediately, I already knew you were new around town. Being the kind saint that I am, I truly wished to help, so I began to walk over to you…”
There was a pause. His face darkened, filled with disgust… at me.
“Then I saw you gawking at the meditation club! Truly disgraceful! How could you be so vile!”
“So…” I started. “You resorted to violence?”
Plato’s mouth gawked open.
“You!” he spat, standing up from his seat. “You had a raging boner the size of Mount Olympus! I acted to prevent danger!”
“I see,” I let out a sigh. “I completely understand now that you misinterpreted my acts.”
“What?”
I stuck out my hand and closed my eyes.
“Listen, while you definitely acted out with justice, you did not know the true intent behind my acts,” I placed my hand on my chest. “I love art. And a person's body… IS ART!”
I raised my voice for the added effect.
“Oh?” Aristotle let out a mused hum as he took another puff.
“I was simply appreciating the artistic value of the naked anatomy… it is completely understandable that you mistook it for deviant behaviour.”
“Well, this is just straight bullocks,” Plato bickered. “How can I believe what you say?”
“Because I appreciate decoding the message of beauty.”
His eyes lit up as he sat back down.
Nice, now he’s intrigued.
“While in school, I always pursued the idea of the perfect human body. As you already know, beauty is an abstract term that we as humans can never truly understand and grasp. It constantly changes from culture to culture and generation to generation. That’s when the question came to me: How do we make beauty… ART that transcends this barrier… the perfect human body!”
“Well… that’s simply impossible.”
“Of course,” I agreed. “But just because it’s impossible, doesn’t mean it cannot be explored. Since that faithful epiphany, I have dedicated my life to appreciating the different ways the idea can be expressed. What you saw earlier was one of those moments of appreciation.”
He crossed his arms and began to tap on the table repeatedly before finally opening his mouth.
“I see. I kind of understand... While there is still a bit of madness in what you say, I do believe I may have overreacted with my actions. I reacted with the intention to defend those ladies.”
“And that,” I added. Is very valiant of you.”
Aristotle clapped his hands.
“Splendid! Oh, simply splendid! When was the last time you spoke to such an educated person Plato? He is exploring his own theories!”
“Truly,” Plato grinned. “Nevertheless, I must warn that many will misinterpret your acts as they are too uneducated to think beyond their nose. Despite that, do not give up your pursuit for an answer.”
“Thank you,” I sighed.
Wow, that took a lot of work, but it seems like Plato is finally warming up to me a bit. I guess philosophers actually do listen during debates.
“On another note,” I began. “I could use some help from the two of you.”
“Well, of course!” laughed Aristotle. “After everything we put you through, it’s the least we can do. Let me go and get you some clothes while you speak to Plato.”
Oh, right, I was still butt naked.
Aristotle excused himself, hollering down the hall until he was barely audible.
“So?” Plato spoke. “Ask away.”
“I mentioned how I met Virgil earlier, right? I’ve pretty much fulfilled two out of my three desires… all that’s left is something about conquering my fears.”
“Ah, that,” he grimaced.
“Do you know anything about it?”
“I sure do. The only way to conquer your fear is by leaving Limbo and entering into the eight lower realms.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do,” I began. “So how do I-”
“Wait, boy!” He paused me in my tracks, waving his hands around excessively. “What you are trying to do is extremely dangerous. Staying here is much safer. It is the only place you can escape from God’s wrath.”
“How do you know?”
“Because it is all I know. Everyone who lives here lives in relative peace,” Plato shook his head. “And here I thought you were an educated individual… What kind of delusions are you entertaining? This. Is. Hell. Are you really going to trust the words of Virgil when the dangers you face may increase the deeper you go?”
“I have to. I don’t want to stay here.”
At that moment, Aristotle walked through the door with some clothes in his hands and five blunts in his mouth. He spat them all out as he looked at us.
“What did I miss? What’s up with the mood in here? Did you guys fight again?”
…
We filled him in quickly, and I got dressed in some black trousers and a button-up white top.
“I see,” he began. “I don’t think Plato and I can be much help if that’s what you plan to do. I suggest speaking to Julius Caesar. He’s been trying to put together a team to find a way out of here for as long as I can remember.”
“You guys don’t know the way out?” I asked.
“No!” Aristotle laughed. “I’ve lost track of how many years I’ve been here, but in that time, not many have been able to leave Limbo successfully.”
“And in that time,” Plato added. “Who knows what became of those who left? Did they actually make it? Or did they just die?”
I see… this is actually quite interesting.
“Thank you for the warnings, but I think I’ll see Caesar regardless of the outcome. I don’t want to give up on the chance of reincarnation.”
“Fair enough,” Plato sighed. “I do believe Julius will be speaking in the town square tomorrow at noon. He’s always looking for new recruits to join his ridiculous expedition. Meet him there, and you will know what to do next.”
