Tears in Lithuania

 

There were more attacks on their car.   More banging on the door.  More obscenities.  But the matrons pulled out their pistols and showed them through the glass.  The men went away.  The killing that needed to be done was done.  The women stayed in their blankets for a day, then changed into clean orange dresses.  There were a few tears, but little talking.  They cared for the babies.  But they seemed to sit a little taller as they did it.

They changed trains in Moscow.  Ten women and a girl in orange, two matrons joined by several local guards to move the women off the first train, into a locked room, and then onto the second train.  Compartments this time.  The babies fussed, then settled again once the train started moving.  They loved the rocking.

Time to learn the escape plan.  Catherine pulled Tatiana out into the hallway and insisted.

“How?  I have a right to know.”

“As we travel through Lithuania one of the track signals will be broken.  The train will stop while it questions the scheduling center.  The stop will be out in the country, but a local road is just fifty meters from the tracks.  A bus will be waiting.”

“The matrons will let the women and Lana leave?”

“I will be leaving with them.”

Catherine understood what she was doing.

“So, there you are, another poor helpless woman in orange, hoping for freedom.  You go with the Ukrainian women, listen, and learn who else is sneaking women out of Russia.  This whole effort is an undercover operation to study and block Ukrainian escape routes.”

“So, what if it is?”

Catherine ignored the question.  Eight women and thirteen babies would get to freedom.  Maybe Tatiana would learn what she wanted, and maybe the local Ukrainians weren’t as stupid as Tatiana thought.  Time would tell.  In the meantime, she needed to know about her daughter.

“And Lana?”

“You are already using the American version of her name.”

“America is where she belongs.  How will she get there?”

Tatiana took a moment to smile.  She was very proud of herself.

“I will take – Lana – to the American embassy.  I will give your name and the name of your FBI control – a Ms. Jackson, correct?”

“Deirdre Jackson.  And my connection to her is no secret.”

“No. it is not.”  She maintained her smile.  Almost a leer.  “I assume those two names will perform miracles for me and for your daughter.  All will end well.  She will return to America and live with your parents.”

“And you will use her?”

“Unlikely.  As long as you are a good Russian.”

Catherine was certain the Russians would use Lana, just as they used her.  But Lana would have Deirdre for protection.  And, most importantly, she would be back in America.  Catherine crossed into Lana’s compartment and pulled her onto her lap.  Lana was half asleep.  It reminded Catherine of a much younger Lana.  She stroked Lana’s hair and directed her head onto her shoulder.

“Mommy, I am tired of trains.”

“This is your last night.  Just before dawn you will leave the train and take the bus to the American embassy.  They will call one of my friends, and she will take you to your grandmother’s house.  Okay?”

“The Larins want to go to Grandmother’s house too.  But they cannot get a visa.  That is a permission paper, right?”

“Yes, it is important.  But my friend will bring one for you.  Maybe you remember her.  Ms. Jackson?  She is a very large woman who visited me when we were living with your grandparents.”

“A large Black woman.  Sorry.  African American.” 

She stumbled over “African American” and repeated it.

“Yes.  You and she will fly back to Madison, and you will go back to your old school.”

“Will Andrey come and marry me?”

“Probably not.”

Lana looked like she might cry.

“He was bossy, but I think I would have been a good wife.”

“Madison is full of boys.  You will find one.  Probably in college.  Or maybe later when you are touring the world as a prima ballerina.”

Lana laughed at that.

“I haven’t done my exercises in weeks.  I used to stretch and twirl as I made Andrey’s bed.  But I stopped.”

“Madison has a great ballet school.  You will be back on your toes.  And you can twirl for you grandmother while you make cookies.”

“And you.  You will be there, won’t you?”

Lana looked up at Catherine.  The moment had come.  The girl was young, but she deserved some version of the truth.

“I have to stay in Russia for a while yet.  I have to find your father.  He is somewhere in Syria.  I need to get him back.  As soon as I can find him, I will send him to you.”

“And then you will come to Madison.”

“You and I will email every day like you did with your grandmother.  You will tell me what you learned in school and tell me all about your dance classes.  I will tell you about my day, and I will tell you when I will be able to come to Madison.”

“Come with me now.”

Catherine was determined not to cry, but she looked at Lana’s face and couldn’t help herself.

“The first day I am able, I will be on a plane to you.  I promise.”

They both cried.  Eventually they dozed off.  Catherine was still holding Lana on her lap when she felt the train slow, then stop.

Tatiana began moving between the compartments, waking and whispering.  The women began gathering up bags and wrapping the babies in blankets.  Catherine didn’t move.  She held Lana in her arms and slowly stroked her hair.  She felt Lana begin to stir.

“Your grandmother is going to be so surprised.  You have grown so much.”

“I don’t want to leave you, Mommy.”

The Ukrainian women were already passing down the hall towards an open door.  Several carried two babies, all carried bags or backpacks.  Tatiana led the way.  The two matrons lingered outside Catherine’s compartment.  Both had their pistols out, pointed toward the floor.

“The women need you to help with the babies, Lana.”

Catherine stood Lana up and moved her toward one of the remaining babies.  She wrapped the baby tight and placed her in Lana’s arms.

“You need to carry her across a field toward a bus.  The bus will go onto the capital city, and then Tatiana will take you to the embassy.  In just a day or two you will be in Madison.”

Lana was crying so hard Catherine had to help her down the stairs and out to the field.  The matrons both gathered close, their pistols now pointed at Catherine.  Two other guards appeared from another car, pistols also pointed at Catherine.

“Mommy, please.”

Catherine hugged her and pulled the blanket tighter around the baby.  The night had a chill.  Tatiana appeared out of the darkness.  She rushed back into the train, grabbed two diaper bags and the last baby.  She stood with Catherine and slowly wrapped her arms around Lana.

“We have to go, Lana.  The babies will get a chill.”

Catherine kissed the top of Lana’s head, then slowly unwound herself from Lana while Tatiana began moving Lana into the darkness.  Catherine whispered her goodbyes.

“I am so proud of you, Lana.  You are so good.  I love you.”

Lana quickly disappeared into the night.  Catherine looked past her.  She could see the bus on the road.  Its interior lights were on.  Women were moving toward seats, babies still in their arms.  She thought she would wait to see Lana board, but the matrons ordered her back inside.  One held a pair of handcuffs.

“Why?”

Catherine just stared at the woman.

“You overpowered us and took our weapons so the Ukrainians could escape.  But when the other women were gone, we fought with you and recaptured you.”

“That’s your story?”

“That’s the story that lets us keep our jobs.  Or at least keeps us out of jail.”

Catherine nodded and turned so they could handcuff her.  She spent the rest of the ride in her compartment, the two matrons sitting across from her.  The matrons slept.  Catherine watched out the window for any bus.