“We’re all just learnin’ how to smile, that’s not easy to do.”-Everclear.
In a haze, I wake up to Nemuri on top of me, gently holding me close with the sun barely up and casting the amber rays into the window. She normally would be off to work, but she still holds me, still lays in bed with her arms around me. Warmth and sweetness softly burning, having that spreading, thickening scent flooding my nose and sending me into slumber.
It's like last night was just another night. Which was okay. It's not the end of the world at all. She opens her eyes slightly.
"Oh? Good morning, Koyurei." she smiles down at me and kisses me, her soft, gentle hands roaming my body. She pulls me closer, and I want nothing more than to surrender to her. She giggles and sits up.
"Aww, you're still so sleepy!"
"Mm…" I groan, kissing her on the lips and sliding out of the covers, she gets up with me and we wander over to the bathroom. I lean against the counter and study myself. My red splotches still there, my white overcoming them but still being kept at bay.
I'm a lot less haunted, that's for sure.
Yawning, I watch Nemuri trudge into the inner part of the bathroom. She turns on the shower and steps in as I wash my face. She's normally more peppy in the mornings but… I guess she overused her quirk. I don't blame her. There's the soft squeal of the faucet and the rush of the water. I thumb through the newspaper, seeing more news about some new crime. I put it down and start to fix breakfast. I notice there's a level of silence from her that I don't really like. Normally she's talking up a storm but right now it's not much at all. I close my eyes, hearing her come out of the bathroom.
"Baby?" she asks, "Are you okay?"
"Okay? I'm better than okay!" I exclaim, "It wasn't so bad after all! They really liked me!" my eyes sting with tears, "This feels like a good dream…"
Nemuri chuckles a little and wraps her arms around me, "It's not a dream, Koyurei. You're living it."
"I know…" I bury my face into her warm, freshly clean skin, "I just don't want to wake up."
"You're okay, Koyurei." I can't really believe it. Not until I'm married to her and never have to see him again. I look up at her and into her limitless sky, her eyes full of that clear blue that I'd see above my head on a winter's day sharp and cold.
"Nemuri, I think… I think it's time you met my Mother." I admit, "She's… well, I have to call first."
"Okay! Make it sometime in the afternoon!" she kisses me softly on the lips.
The soft ambering rays of sunlight stream in through the curtains. My mother sitting at the desk flipping through an album of clippings she saved when she could get them, gray eyes less baggy, but she looks over at me.
"Hm? Oh, Koyurei." she smiles and I march my way in, "Who's that?" she cocks her head a little. Nemuri smiles and takes the lead.
"I'm Nemuri Kayama, I'm Koyurei's fiancee." she bows and smiles, "It's an honor to meet you, Mrs. Todoroki."
"Ah, Koyurei speaks very highly of you. Please, call me Rei." Mom grins and Nemuri sits down on the bed next to me. Mom stays pleasant enough but then she starts.
"Do you know why Koyurei loves you, Nemuri?" she asks, with a soft smile.
"Well, he loves me because I help him sleep, I gave him the chance to live without being near his father…" she's stopped by Mom shaking her head.
"No, that's not why at all, Nemuri. It's because you remind him of me." she smiles just a little, "How safe he felt, how he always knew I'd be listening to him talk about those cute little Goranger figures, you're that kind of person for him."
"You're a safe person, Nemuri." she finishes, "I want you to promise me that you'll love my son and cherish him as I do. That means any unsavory conduct will not be tolerated." she glares at her and Nemuri gulps.
"Yes, Ma'am!" she sputters, "I won't do anything to hurt him, I swear!"
I smile, "Wow mom, really digging your claws in." she looks at me with softer eyes and an almost serene smile.
"Of course, you're my oldest after all, a surprise but… a good one. I want to make sure Nemuri is a good woman for you." there's a knock at the door.
"Oh? That must be Fuyumi." she says.
"I'll answer it!" I pop up, "You two keep talking." I get to the door and slide it open, and there she is. My little sister Fuyumi. Shoulder length white hair with red streaks. Her school ID around her neck.
"Hey Mo- Oh my god, Koyurei!" she squeals, pulling me into a tight hug, "Oh my god it's been so long!" she swings me around a little.
"Whoa whoa whoa, little lady!" I gasp, hugging her back, "Man, it's been a long, long time!" she separates from me and smiles.
"How've you been, Fuyumi?" I ask.
"Oh you know, can't really complain at all. I'm teaching kids no-" she sees Nemuri and gawks.
"Wha-? Buh? Buhhh?!" she points at her like crazy, "That's… that's Midnight." her face goes taut and she straightens before bowing.
"I'm Koyurei's little sister, Fuyumi. It's nice to meet you." she says.
Nemuri smiles, "Right, Koyurei's very proud of you." she bows, "I'm Nemuri Kayama, your brother's fiancee."
"Wait…." Fuyumi straightens again, "WAIT."
"Wha-? But-? WHAT?!" she screams, "Mom! Did you know?!" Mom laughs a little.
"Aww, Fuyu… of course I did! Koyurei couldn't stop talking about her in his letters and how amazing she is!"
Nemuri looks at me with a smile, blushing just a bit, "God I love that." she blurts. Mom and Fuyumi both stop, turning towards her with an almost in sync, 'I can't believe you said that' expression on their faces.
"What? It's part of Koyurei and I's whole dynamic." she explains, "I praise him into a puddle, and then kiss his sweet little face until he's dizzy."
Mom smiles serenely, "Well, their father was… very domineering." she looks down at her arms, "He got a little too eager a couple of times." there're swaths of white burn scars on her pale skin, before she gives us all a bright smile.
"But let's not talk about him, my children." we all sit down but Nemuri stands, almost awkward but she steels herself.
"That includes you, Nemuri. Seeing as you're going to be my daughter in-" again, another cutoff but this time it's someone I haven't seen in a long while. White spiky hair with a few little red streaks at the temples, his gray eyes soft and his broad build just as squishy.
"Mom, you wouldn't believe what I just heard!" he calls, "Koyurei's dating Mid-" he pauses as he sees the four of us sitting down near her or in my case by her. He blinks slowly, then takes a deep breath.
"Hey Natsu!" I wave, "We were just kinda shooting the breeze and I was JUST thinking about you!"
He walks forward before running into my arms, "Koyurei!" he yells, sweeping me off my feet and swinging me around like a leaf in the wind, "Ahahaha! I missed you!"
"What is it with everyone swinging me around today?" I ask as Natsuo dumps me onto my feet. He strides over to Nemuri and sizes her up.
"Natsuo." he states.
"Nemuri." she answers, "I've been dating your brother."
"I know." Natsuo crosses his arms, "Are you sure you're not just using him?"
"I'm sure." Nemuri snaps back, "Feisty little boys like you give me a good challenge. Rest assured that your big brother is VERY happy with me." She grins and his cheeks turn red but at the same time it's just one of the things that maybe would be very good to know.
It's just the fact that he's happy to see me that makes me so relieved. Like I didn't ruin everything between all of them. But then… my phone rings with a dreaded tone. Dad's ringtone sounds out and my siblings and I all look at each other.
"Excuse me, I… I need to…" I stammer, "T-take this." Going out into the hall, I answer.
"Hey, D-Dad…" I begin, "How's it… hah..aha.. Going?" I laugh a little out of nervousness. He doesn't sound tired at all. In fact he sounds normal. Like he never lost sleep over me resigning.
"Koyurei, bring Nemuri with you tonight."
"Wait, what's happening tonight?" I ask.
"You're coming over for dinner and we'll discuss the terms of this marriage you're trying to hide behind." he orders. Deep down, a flame rises in my chest. I won't let him control me again. I won't let anyone control me.
I'm the hero of my own story. I'm me. I'm Koyurei Todoroki. I won't ever let him control me. I smile and clear my throat.
"Okay then, Dad. See you soon." I say with a soft, almost serene smile. I hang up and Fuyumi touches my shoulder.
"Was that Dad?" she asks.
"Yeah, he needs me and Nemuri to come over for dinner." I huff, "Time to face the dragon." We all leave my Mother's room, Nemuri grabbing my hand and Fuyumi leading the way. It was almost like a convoy heading towards a government site.
I know my brother is here too, Shoto. Nemuri reaches over and gently grabs my hand.
"We'll get this done, baby. It's going to be alright." she assures me so easily. She hasn't been in that house, she hasn't seen what I had to deal with, only the aftermath. So here I am, getting closer to my father's house.
My father's house is a traditional building off in an isolated corner of the city but in the same-ish area as the office. A short car ride away even. We park in the driveway and standing at the door is my father, arms crossed and glaring as the four of us march up to the house, the same well clunking out a load of water, the same traditional house. Hovering near him is my baby brother, fourteen years old, half red and half white hair and heterochromatic eyes one gray and one blue. Shoto looks at me with wide eyes and an almost motion towards me to hug me but my father glares at him.
"Come in." he says, "Shoes on the outside, all of you." heading inside, we all kind of do as he says with the eagerness of snails really. But my plan begins to fall into place. After dinner, I'll leave and cut him out of my life forever.
We all sit down and Dad looms over the food, "What's the matter? I cook."
Shoto takes it like he's suffering every second, but I eagerly ladle it in with Natsuo looking at Fuyumi and I like we're about to die. Nemuri takes some to be polite.
"Thanks for the food!" we all chorus, with Dad softening his glare a bit with a slight smile. In some way he's softer? Shoveling it in, my flames taking it in as fuel. It's not half bad, not as good as I remember it being because Dad only cooked when Mom was overwhelmed back when Toya and I were little.
"So, to business." he rumbles, "Miss Kayama, you're looking to marry my son Koyurei."
"Yes, I am." Nemuri smiles, "He's the man I love and well, he's a sweet boy."
"Hmph. Good." he states, "But first, we are to discuss the terms of this marriage." he slams a huge packet onto the table and Fuyumi hisses out an 'oogh' in sympathy. Nemuri gawks at it and Shoto stands up and quietly scuttles off.
But I grit my teeth and take a breath, "Hell no…" I growl.
"What was that, Koyurei?"
"Hell no, Fuyumi, Natsuo, Shoto, and I aren't just things you can sign over to people! Nemuri and I are in love and whatever's in this is BULLSHIT!" I turn it to ash and he gawks at me as I shove the chair back.
"I won't sugarcoat this." I start, "I hated living here." Dad's eyes burn into me and I stand up, pacing.
"No family photos, no holidays, no anything. We just have one photo of Toya and a fuckton of formal ones. Just because you never really had a family to begin with." I smile and look at my brother and sister.
"Koyurei, maybe you should-" Fuyumi starts.
"That brings me to how we were raised. Only Toya, Fuyumi, an' I remember how things used to be. How Mom and you were, how everything was changed and all of that."
"Fuyumi? She's feeling as though she owes us everything just to fix things. Because somehow it's her fault. All she wanted was a chance at a normal family, a normal meal, a normal anything!"
"Natsuo? He's rightfully angry and guilty over what happened around him. How he couldn't do anything as he watched as I took all the abuse I could handle, how his other older brother died and left everyone reeling. How his little brother has to carry all of it!"
"Shoto? He's a stunted doll that doesn't know anything other than guilt and just a container for all the bullshit we went through." I look at him, "I wish it could've been different."
"I just wanted Mom back, but you tore her away from us. I was thirteen, my brother just died, and all I felt was perfect hatred. And it scared me. And when I looked into her eyes... That look of horror was enough to stop me."
Her gray eyes still filled with fear pierce me down to my soul as I open my eyes.
"I decided on that day that I wouldn't be you. I'd never be you."
My eyes glare into his, burning with tears, "And what do I get? What's my prize for slaving away for hours, neglecting my health, neglecting my life, giving it all to your empire?!"
"Nothing but nightmares, pain, and panic. Nothing but trying to shut out your voice and every little thing you hated about me!" My heat builds, my eyes burn a little, my face threatens to burst into the same flaming blue mask.
But I look at Nemuri and all of my anger fades.
"By all accounts, I'm doing a good job." I crack my knuckles, "You try to get in my way and I'll show you things I got from Grandmother an' Auntie Tekka." Turning, I walk towards the door and glare back at him.
"You better change fast, otherwise nobody's gonna want a number one who abuses his kids. Because you'd never be number one legitimately you'll have to wait until the big Supes wannabe bites it."
Dad rises, flames igniting but instead of my flames a bitter cold blisters out of me, "How dare you?! I raised you, I fed you, I fought for you and your siblings to HAVE everything around you!" he rages towards me but I stand my ground.
"You're an ungrateful little boy! All I did and you threw it aside for some woman!" I stand resolute and silent, glaring at him. Cold and flame dance together in the air.
I turn and face away from him, "I don't want you in my life anymore, it's that simple old man. Even if the outside's not a paradise, I don't give a fuck. Me and Nemuri are gonna get married and you can't stop me." Nemuri and I get to the outside and get our shoes on, getting in the car before my father can rage down and try to stop us.
I get a good distance down the road, pulling over at an overlook and palming a small box in my pocket. Fuyumi had passed it to me on the way back to the cars from the institution. An obsidian ring, one passed from Grandmother to Dad.
She went digging for it a while back and got it for me today. A new box and everything. I get out of the car and Nemuri looks at me with a little bit of confusion.
"Koyurei? Where are you-" she starts before I come around to her side and open her door, grabbing her hand.
"Okay, Nemuri. Come with me real quick!" I exclaim, taking her to the side and a rough hewn set of stairs carved into the wall on the way down, a rough metal railing built on the side that'd normally have none. I lead her down to the sand below, the waves crashing a little up the way but I get us at just the right angle to see the moon shining off the water.
"Nemuri… I… I know this was far from long, or conventional, or even easy. I know that this puts your career at risk, but… I really, really want to ask you this!" I sputter, getting the box out and seeing her smile.
"I think you already know." she smiles and takes it from me and putting on the ring.
"My answer's yes. Now come on, let's get home." she grabs my hand and leads me back to the car, "Sushi needs us after all." I follow after her with a huge weight off my shoulders for now. As long as we don't need a wedding, we'll be golden.
We can just run away together, far away, anywhere…
At least I hope so.
