(Skyquake's Log 01: Prelude)

 

Greetings, feeble humans! Splendid opportunity to finally witness a following of fragile sheep, interested in my wonderous tale of adventure, action, and glory! Oh, I could just taste your enthusiasm.

 

Now, of course, tiny disclaimer here. By the time you'll read this, I might've been exterminated by my lifetime enemy known as Optimus Prime. Dear Cybertron, how that name distorts my circuits. It infuriates me, it angers me-But worse, it's why my whole life went so wrong. It's why my team was duly slaughtered by ME!

 

Still, you're probably wondering where exactly things diverted so badly. I'm sure that also concerns my rather cruel treatment towards Motorhead, for whom I slaughtered so deviously. I can still taste his energon on my mouth. Is that a bad thing? Should I wash it off? What do you think?

 

And while you ponder my numerous questions, let's begin the tale of my misadventures!

 

(Skyquake's Log 02: This job sucks)

 

Ah, Cybertron. Home sweet home! Nothing beats the sound of roaring engines and complaining drivers. Wouldn't you agree? 

 

Anyhow, I was constructed during Cybertronian year 123 in Polyhex, a city ripe with rust and nerds. That place was Cybertron's primary communications hub, so naturally every computer bot with one thousand IQ came in looking to sell stock and make bucks. At that time, Cyber-keys were as common as energon, plentiful in quantity and valuable to many. Oh yeah, did I forget mention its casinos during my rant against nerds? Probably not, but now you know. Nerds should die, gamblers too. 

 

So while I bored myself working a job at one of those tech factories, I stumbled upon some delicious information. See, it turned out that Cybertron's ruling class was more corrupt than anyone could ever imagine. Surprising, I know. Life throws you many curveballs. 

 

Allegedly, the upper tin-cans dictating our lives bribed and stole from the poorer class. Now, granted, it may not be anything new to you humans. I'm sure every once in a while, some nutjob leading your failing nation might've forced your hand in some way. Hell, you're probably fighting that nutjob right now. Good luck, by the way. 

 

But keep in mind, Cybertron was experiencing its golden age. We haven't had conflict since our nation's founding, when the original thirteen began a civil war over who'd win top bot of Cybertron. Fragging losers, I tell you-none of them sane enough to even rule an energon farm. Except maybe Optronix, but nobody knew where he went after disappearing. Rumors say he's alive somewhere, but rumors are about as true as Shockwave never having one yellow eye and one gun hand. 

 

Seriously, it's like bots are forcing him to stay like that. What gives? Change yourself, for once in your life. 

 

Anyway, the lower class soon rallied behind someone, a gladiator from Kaon's pits who slaughtered every bastard daring to challenge him. His name was Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. My inspiration, and the reason I ever got involved. 

 

Megatron, you see, wasn't just a strong bot. No, he understood things. He saw how the upper class screwed us over, he saw depths no one ever imagined. He realized that war was inevitable, that change was sorely needed. I still remember one of his quotes: 

 

"Join us and works towards a new world free of inequality. Fight us and you shall become a stain on my boot." 

 

Pure evil at its finest, my friends. Simply glorious. 

 

Thus, after being fully convinced of our eternal suffering at our oppressors' hands, I joined the fight after the council. Ahh, such wonderful memories. We raided Iacon hall during an important council meeting, invaded the castle those upper scrapjobs resided in, and claimed sweet victory as each member was brutally assassinated. I took out someone named Victimius major, whose screams still cloud my mind. 

 

I think Motorhead was on my team during that time, but I could be wrong. Maybe it was him or just another yell0w bot. We have LOTS of those on Cybertron. 

 

So now Iacon was ours, and nothing can stop us on the path to equality. Nothing! 

 

.......or so we thought. 

 

(Skyquake's Log 03: Everything went so well)

 

After the siege on Iacon hall, our forces began expanding across Cybertron. We were tasked with destroying any remnants of Cybertron's 'rotten stench', as Megatron put it so delicately. A full reset, a clean slate-a chance to rid our planet of those termites. Is that the right word? I don't know. You decide. 

 

I was on one of these missions, assigned the duty of sabotaging garrisons full of Cybertronian guardsmen. My first time executing helpless bots felt strange, yet.....good. As if for every causality inflicted by us, our enemies grew weaker, our power grows stronger. Believe me, it was the best part of my life. 

 

Until HE showed up. 

 

Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. Noblest of all, symbol to many, and kinder than most automatons.

 

He's also full of slag. I mean really, this guy? He's about as fake as Shockwave laughing at Megatron's jokes. He loves SO much to tout his little motto of 'Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.' And you know what, he's right. Every slag maker in this miserable universe has as much freedom as I do. Oh yeah, everyone is free to 'kill, frag, or deal' with whoever they want. That's his view of a perfect world, and major respect on him for fighting for it. 

 

My problem is his cause, or rather the reason we're in this hell in the first place. Here's a question: Does anyone know who the Autobots are? The good guys, right? Defenders of freedom and upholders of justice? Yeah, not so much.

 

See, the Autobots were actually the founders of Cybertron. Oh yeah, those little gear-fraggers gave us life and purpose after supposedly escaping captivity from their owners. If you ask me, their whole 'slave escaping the master' saga is one big load of oil grease. Seriously, no one's seen the Quintessons in ages! Hell, I don't think they ever existed!

 

But, you know, don't tell Optimus that or else he'd beat me to scrap like he did during the battle of Sipera. He almost tore my face off! It dangled from my chin as I got away. I repeat, my face DANGLED from my chin. 

 

So yeah, needless to say, things weren't looking so good for me. And I anticipated every second of my life in hopes of one day sending that lousy sack of bolts a ONE WAY BACK TO THE FACTORY!

 

Ooh, how that nauseating look of arrogance on his face made me wish for a chance to kill him right now. I just wanna rip off his head and eat his power core. 

 

(Skyquake's Log 04: I hate these guys)

 

Eventually, I was assigned a team of my own. Megatron call them 'Predators', since their hunting capabilities were truly one of a kind. Six of us were chosen, with me becoming the leader. There was Snare, Stalker, Talon, Skydive, and Falcon. Boy, did I hate these guys. 

 

Honestly, thinking about them makes my head ache. Snare was annoying, Stalker was creepy, Talon was an arrogant little frag, Skydive almost killed me twice, and Falcon? Ugh, just mentioning him twists my gears. Anytime that servo-busting, spike-loving came up to me, he'd boast about HIS superior attributes. How HE'D work better as predator leader, and how I'm simply a waste of gears and metal. I lost at the amount to times he said that. Guy really loved his metal, you know. 

 

But at the same time, so did I, and I had to remind him of who was in charge. So I killed him in front of the team, thinking it'd serve as an example. Then I thought, 'You know what? Slag it? I'll just kill them all.' Why would I do that? Because I can!

 

Thus, everyone in the Predators died of 'unfortunate' circumstances. I fabricated a story where one of us installed a virus inside Stalker, from which he'd slaughter them like your main course of Autobots. Megatron seemed to believe me.....I think. 

 

(Skyquake's Log 05: Earthquakes and Ruptures)

 

Even without my team, I held myself pretty well against those lousy Autobots. I vividly remember charging into a bunker and ripping off each head bare-handed during the battle of Polyhex. Another time, I rigged an Aerialbot's body with explosives to stop an Autobot convoy. Fun times, fun times.

 

At some point, our forces pushed the Autobots back into a refitted cargo hauler known as the Ark. Supposedly, they were gonna use that thing to escape Cybertron, maybe find outer planets to settle on. That was not gonna happen whatever the cost. 

 

So Megatron ordered a full attack, right? All hands on deck, combined arms tactics-every trick under our sleeves we had. Today was the day Optimus Prime and his Autobots finally perished! And boy, I never felt more excited in my life. 

 

Now we're outside the ship, ready to storm in. We get close, take out some of its defenses, send a few Autobots to the scrapyard-fun times overall.

 

And then, just as things near to a close...

 

BOOM!

 

Distant explosions, cracks on the grounds, troops start falling through the floor. Cybertron crumbles onto itself. Entire cities are destroyed in a cycle, energon leaks into space. And during all that chaos, Optimus and his merry band of losers get away. Megatron orders all fleets to chase him, except me and a few survivors. We're stuck trying to rebuild our world after its wonderful trip through destruction. 

 

Not on my watch. 

 

I stow away on a dreadnought, unseen by others, hoping to take a shot at Optimus. 

 

Finally, I would bash his face in!

 

(Skyquake's Log 06: Dirty Organics)

 

We soon arrived where the Autobots supposedly crash-landed.  Once I left the dreadnought, I flew down onto an enormous dirty world inhabited by disgusting organic creatures. It had large mountains spewing fire, bipedal beasts walking the lands, and humanoid life forms who threw their own feces at me. Ironically, you humans are descendants from the latter. 

 

Truly, I pity your species. Worthless monkeys, all of you.

 

So now I found myself flying around your dirtball looking for Optimus Prime. Every moment in that sky felt so harsh and moisty, like I was melting in molten scrap. It didn't help that your organic wildlife kept pecking at me for no reason, so I returned the favor by snapping their necks. Fun times, fun times.

 

Anyway, so I eventually found Optimus and his twenty batch of merry followers hidden near a fiery mountain's underside. I mean, their ship was literally inside the mountain. How convenient! Now I can trigger that mountain's slag and kill all of them. Literally two bots with one blaster! 

 

.....if it only were that simple. 

 

One of them, a guy named Erector, spotted me presumably during his patrol. Once he sounded the alarm, I rushed into the base, taking his head as a prize. I blasted through another squad of Autobots, taking out a few defense turrets along the way. The command center was nearby, I could feel it. A heavier bot named Roadbuster blocked my way, but I redirected his gun onto his face pretty easily. By gears, that guy was HUGE. 

 

Regardless, now my path was clear. I just had to kick down the door in front of me. Again, if it were only that simple.

 

No luck, it's reinforced steel. They probably expected this. So I lifted Roadbuster's humongous shell and tossed it into the door. A slight dent was made, which allowed me to pry that sucker WIDE open. And who awaited me on the outer side? Why, Optimus Prime himself! Oh, and five other nobodies I kind of remembered. Let's see, there were Ratchet, Ironhide, Bumblebee, Prowl, and Jazz. Really notable bots right there, folks. Seriously, who were those guys? 

 

Right, so all of them had their guns drawn. Prowl tells me to freeze and put my hands up. Optimus suggests I do the same. What do I say? 

 

"I came a long way eager to pound your circuits into spare parts. You're gonna regret asking ME to surrender!" 

 

Optimus then lowers his weapon, narrowing his gaze on me. He goes, "Must conflict be your only motivation? We have already our home because of it! End this now, surrender in peace. We don't have to fight."

 

I felt extremely offended! Who does this guy think he is? This can't seriously be who Megatron insisted we leave alone. I reply, "Maybe you didn't get the message when I came in here looking for you. I want your head in my collection, and I'll do everything in my power to get it! I'm a Decepticon, I don't take no slag from either you or Megatron. Now face me, Optimus. Face me like your life depends on it."

 

I was ready. I was about to go core-to-core with my most hated enemy. This time, Megatron wasn't here. This time, I could wrap my fingers around his skull and RIP OFF HIS FRAGGED HEAD! Everything was going so well. 

 

.......until he showed up.

 

Megatron, in his infinite wisdom, decided to launch a full-scale assault on the Ark. Alarms were going off, and Optimus zipped by me to deal with it. Just when things were getting good, gear-damnit!

 

Prowl tackles me to the ground, pulling out some handcuffs while the others hold me down. I activated my arm blasters, pushing back my captors before kicking Prowl off me. I rushed after Prime, cutting through Autobots out to catch me. When I reached the outside, Prime was engaging a few seekers buzzing around him. Being the opportunist I was, I shot down those seekers despite wearing their insignia. My loyalty to Megatron's cause only went so far, you know. I loved doing what I want consequences be damned. 

 

Finally at long last, Optimus Prime was in my hands. My time was now, victory drew near. I readied myself, charged forward with sword in hand, desperate for at least one hit on him. And then......

 

KA-BOOM! 

 

A fragging cruiser cannon blew me away before I even so much as scratched him. Literally, it sent me flying back three feet. Oh, but it wasn't just one shot, oh no. A whole barrage of railgun fire pummeled the nearby base, whilst thousands of troops were deployed. I decided this was my time to escape, as being caught in the crosshairs didn't raise my chances of beating Optimus. I was also heavily damaged, but who really cares about that?

 

So I flew away from the fight, looking for a spot to repair my wounds. Energon was leaking fast, so I had to hurry. You can't go anywhere on an empty tank, after all. 

 

Ultimately, I stumbled upon a cavern full of more disgusting organics. I killed them all, of course, cause I'm just that good. I'm also better at everything, better than YOU at everything. Remember that, freaks. 

 

Thus, I sat inside the warm darkness, activating my self-restoration system in the process. I waited, and waited, and waited for my wounds to heal. At some point, I must've leaked too much energon cause It wasn't long before I went into stasis. Gear knows how long I've slept. 

 

That part though-you already know about, don't you?

 

(Skyquake's Log 07: We meet again)

 

And here we are, back where it all began. Back to where we meet. I'm sure you still have many questions in your tiny squishable heads, that which I can easily remove with my finger. However, since my convoluted mess of a backstory probably didn't satisfy you, allow me to answer your question.

 

'Why did I treat Motorhead so badly?'

 

Simple. Because he lied to me about Optimus being on your world, and he worked for that no good creep Archforce. I hated him the moment we meet, and I hoped to usurp his position one day. But then, well, you know what happened. 

 

So now one of his goons keeps me company while my greatest enemy alive remains afoot somewhere on your filthy world.  Torturing him felt like the right answer, and yes, I had fun doing it. He also failed to get some merchandise during our seven day tenure as partners. What merchandise, you wonder? Why, you freaks of course! Be proud that I'd even choose your wasteful excuse of a species. Oh, and a few metal vehicles too. Bonus stuff is good, too.

 

So there you have it, you organic pieces of slag-my true reason for committing abuse on Motorhead. That's what it's called, right? Abuse, battery, assault-whatever fits the bill, really.  

 

Now if you'll excuse me, I must go inflict chaos on your armed installations in order to establish myself as your world's ultimate threat. HAHAHAHA!

 

Just kidding!

 

I'm off to silence Optimus Prime once and for all. If I don't come back alive, well, you'll know what happened. I don't regret hurting Motorhead if you're wondering, cause he deserved it. How about telling that yellow-plated failure that he's a waste of energon while you're here, and make sure he gets the message. As for me, I think it's time for my hunt. 

 

Later, freaks. Tell Motorhead to kill himself when you leave. For me?