Ranko looked herself over in the mirror on the back of her closet door. She wore the shimmery silver dress she’d been gifted by Izumi a few weeks back in celebration of her invitation to join the Dapper Dragons. Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders, still holding onto the last remnants of the wave from the styling she’d had done for the wedding. 

Satisfied with her appearance, she headed downstairs, yawning quietly. The bar had been crazy busy for days, with Izumi away on her honeymoon, and between that, studying, and band practice, she was burning the candle at both ends and microwaving it in the middle to boot. She was glad that her primary job responsibility these days generated a constant flow of adrenaline, or she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to stay awake until the end of her shift. 

As a result of her dragging, she was a few minutes late getting downstairs. She sighed as she walked into the kitchen. “Sorry, Mei. I’m just getting my ass kicked this week.” Her blue-haired sister hooked her hand around Ranko’s elbow, catching her before she stepped through the saloon doors. “Hey, Ran-chan, is there anything you need to tell us?”

Ranko blinked. “Why, what do you think is up?”

Mei shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe something about some super-rich guy you’re seeing?”

The redhead shook her head incredulously. “Uh, Mei, you do remember I like girls, right? Like, where is this coming from?”

Her older sister shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine, but there’s a guy in a really nice suit out there with like four dozen roses, who says he’s here for you.” 

“Well, don’t look at me. I don’t know anybody like that.”

Mei smirked. “I’m messing with you. He apparently doesn’t know you that well, either. Didn’t even use your name, either. Kept calling you the pig-tailed girl . What a weirdo!”

Ranko slumped down onto the steps leading up to her apartment. “Oh, fuck. Not this, too.”

The blue-haired girl, ironically the one in the room actually wearing pigtails, stepped closer, her look of amusement becoming one of concern. “I thought you said you didn’t know this guy.”

Shaking her head, Ranko sighed. “No, I do. And he’s a jerk. Stay clear of him, Mei.”

With a frown, Mei stepped closer, putting her hand on Ranko’s shoulder. “A jerk, like Mikado?” 

“Not exactly, but close enough. Grab me a napkin?” 

Mei complied with her request, and Ranko jotted a few symbols on the green paper product with a ballpoint pen she found on the counter. “Have Yui give him this. And like I said, keep your distance.”

Ranko stood, smoothing out her dress. She had to get him out of that room as quickly as possible. He could blow everything for her, and he was too stupid to know he was doing it. 

With a nod, Mei took the paper, reading it. “Alright. But if you’re not back in a half an hour, we’re going to call for help.” 

“Sounds good. Thanks, Mei. Throw something on the sound system to keep folks busy? I promise, I’ll sing something when I get back.”

Ranko slipped out the back door, walking around the building to the front, and leaning on a lamp post across the street within view of the front door of the Phoenix. Within moments, a tall young man in an impeccable gray pin-striped suit with a white shirt and a silver silk tie. It was definitely him, but Ranko barely recognized him out of his kendo uniform.

“Kuno, what the hell are you doing here?”

The man gasped, crossing the street to join her. “My pig-tailed goddess! It really is you! How I have searched these last months for you! Our fair city has been ever in winter since you disappeared. I had feared that some harm had come to you, no doubt a result of the evil machinations of that dastardly cretin Ranma Saotome. But here you stand, hale and hearty, and all is right with the world! Come to me, my love!”

She shook her head. “Down, boy. I said I’d talk. That’s it. Be respectful, kay?”

Kuno nodded. “As you wish. But I must know, why are you here, in this… establishment? You, a vision of Aphrodite herself, wasting away in such a distasteful venue as this. I can only surmise that you have hidden yourself here to free yourself of Saotome’s lecherous advances. I bring glad tidings, my love! Ranma Saotome has not been seen in Nerima for many a month! Without question, he knows that should ever he show his blighted face again, the justice of Tatewaki Kuno shall be swift and sure.”

Waving her hands, Ranko sighed. “Okay. First of all, I’m not going to have you knocking this place, alright? I love it here. Secondly, I have a name, man. You can call me Ranko.” The whole vagueness of the pig-tailed girl thing was great when she had been trying to hide her identity, but she had one of her own now, and she had worked too hard for it to have it ignored.

Her would-be suitor smiled. “ Ranko . The name rests upon the tongue like honeyed ambrosia. Very well, I would permit that if we intend to dispense with formality, that you call me Tatewaki as well.” 

The redhead shook her head with a smirk. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

Kuno continued. “Pray tell, Ranko, how did you escape the clutches of Saotome? Long had it been known that, through some vile sorcery, you remained under his wretched control. You seem to have freed yourself of his influence, though, and may now safely return home under my watchful care. While I do not believe Ranma Saotome brave enough to show his face in the presence of the Blue Thunder once more, should he do so, he shall face my sword. You will be safe, on my honor.”

Ranko chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t think you’re gonna be seeing much of Ranma anymore.” 

With a curious gaze, he stepped closer. “Oh? Has the coward finally crawled back into his hole to trouble the good people of the earth no more?”

Ranko sighed, shaking her head. Man, this guy was thick. Oh well , she thought. At least I’ll get to have a little fun with this.

“Actually… Ranma Saotome is dead. ”

Kuno looked as if the wind had been knocked out of him, and he had somehow enjoyed it. “C… could this be? How could you be sure? I warn thee, Ranko, Saotome is a slippery sort. Many a time I have thought him cornered and found him to have wormed his way out of my grasp.”

“I saw him die.” From her perspective, it was technically true, anyway. She had watched him take his last breath in her bedroom mirror.

Ranko watched as the young man’s brain slowly imploded in real time. “Then… both you, and Akane Tendo, are free from his clutches at last, and are free to date with me?! Oh, blessed day! Surely the stars do shine brightly upon the House of Kuno tonight!”

Whoa, boy. Easy there, she thought. “So, about that, Ku… Tatewaki. I… I’m not sure how to say this delicately, so I’m just going to come out with it, kay? It’s not that I don’t think you’re great and all, but, see, the thing is…” She blushed a little, enjoying toying with him. “I… actually prefer the company of women. So, you see, it’s not you, it’s me.” She dared not mention that she was with Akane; word would surely get out at home, and she doubted Akane would be comfortable with that sort of information going public about her.

Kuno blinked. “I… Well, I suppose you cannot be blamed. If your only experience with men is a bottom-feeding lecher such as Saotome, it is no wonder that you find yourself drawn to the fairer sex. Still, I assure you that in the company of a true gentleman such as I, you would discover a newfound appreciation for handsome men.”

Smirking, Ranko shook her head. “I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one there, buddy. Look, you’re a decent enough guy, most of the time, I guess. You could have any number of girls you wanted. Why don’t you go after the ones who want you back, Kuno?”

He sighed, slumping a bit. “My fair Ranko, your words wound me, but mayhap there is some wisdom in them. I shall meditate upon this and consider my next course of action. Never the less, I remain pleased to see you well.”

Ranko flashed a small smile. After all this time, she’d finally gotten through to him, and it hadn’t even taken a single punch. “I appreciate your saying that, Tatewaki. I do. I am safe, and happy, and I hope the same for you, truly.”