Chapter XVII: Senior Mop and Junior Bucket (Part Jurassic)
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        Boom!

        Dan's back smacked against his headrest. He swore he lost his head in his helmet when he felt PPMC lift off. He rode an aerotrim, so why was this significantly harder? Perhaps it was because it was the real thing. Eventually, he found the guts to open his big, brown eyes.

        PPMC ascended in a perfectly straight line toward the troposphere.

        Two minutes after the blast off, Chenoa radioed Dan again. "Dan, do you read me? It's Chenoa. Over."

        "I read you, Professor." His stomach certainly didn't. Dan felt like he was about to hurl. How did his dad manage to do this twenty-seven times?

        "Perfect!" Chenoa said. "Now, this is the last time I can communicate with you. Once you reach space, we'll be disconnected. However, your dad and I will watch you until you reach the black hole. Speaking of which, would you like to say goodbye to your dad officially?"

        "No thank you!" Dan piped out. "I'm sure he's jumping with joy now that he's gotten rid of me."

        "But, Dan..." Chenoa attempted to voice.

        "Goodbye!" Dan shut her off once he and PPMC reached the mesosphere. He didn't regret it at all. His dad was the one who lied to him.

        It turned darker by the second, and Dan admitted he was a little excited. What did deep space look like in person? Was there a way to convince PPMC to put him in hypersleep through the wormhole? Dan could try sweet-talking her. Yeah, he would do that. Pfft, programmed with his mom's personality. PPMC, the dumb starship who didn't know what a one-night stand was, would fall for his Oh, I'm not feeling well trick.

        Before long, they reached the exosphere.

        Dan had never seen so many stars. They went on and on, never seeming to end. He almost forgot that Earth was a planet floating in outer space. Extraordinary! And once, a long time ago, dinosaurs shared the same turf as humans.

        "Welcome to space, Dan the Man!" PPMC soon announced. "We just left Earth and are ready for our first light speed jump."

        Light speed. It looked like everything in Ultra Star Wars was real.

        PPMC chuckled. "Are you ready for the torch, Idiot?"

        That didn't offend him as much, but Dan still ordered, "Just do it, PPMC, so that we can be in and out."

        "As you wish." PPMC's hands approached a black switch next to her time machine. She gripped it and added, "In five, four, three, two, one... geologic time scale, here we come!" PPMC pushed the switch, and Dan's body lurched forward. They traveled at the speed of light and left 3023 behind.

***

        Was deep space supposed to be that beautiful?

        Dan's jaw dropped seeing the stars, galaxies, and nebulas. The assortments of colors convinced him that magic was real. He wanted to get a closer look. That nebula over there looked like a space cumulonimbus.

        "PPMC, can you free me now?" Dan wiggled his hands and attempted to punch through the straps, but they held him down. "Please?" he begged.

        She laughed. "You know, Dan, you're an idiot, but a good one."

        That was something Dan's mom would say. There may have been a little of her in PPMC after all. He recalled that Becca said she would be with him in forms both big and small. Did an AI starship count?

        PPMC pressed a button on Dan's seat. It freed his hands and feet.

        He took the helmet off and almost fell getting out.

        PPMC caught him. "You good, dude? Don't need you dropping dead on me."

        What was Dan supposed to say—thank you? Gosh, please say he wasn't starting to like PPMC. Too shy to respond to her save, he released himself and hobbled to the windshield. His voice squeaked. "Wow."

        PPMC crossed her arms. "Impressive, isn't it? Would you like to go to your room and change? Artificial gravity is on, so you don't have to worry about floating down the hallway."

        "Um... sure." Regardless, Dan's eyes landed on the compartment she put his dad's gift in.

        Again, PPMC giggled. She opened the compartment and handed him the gift. "Here you go. Now, let's go."

        They left the cockpit and found themselves in PPMC's main hallway. A line of windows was on their left, doors on their right. Each was labeled: pool, lobby, kitchen, emergency compartment, etc. Dan had yet to see the inside of PPMC's emergency compartment. If something went wrong, they could go there and travel to the emergency time period. Chenoa didn't say what it was, but Dan's curiosity bested him.

        He stopped at one of the hallway's windows. Dan stared at the endless space and opened Ben's gift. Peering down, he saw he held a book. The 3000s was its title, and an image of a futuristic city adorned its cover.

        "Aw, isn't that nice?" PPMC put her hands together. "Your dad knows you love books."

        Dan didn't speak. He opened the book and watched the holographic pages appear before his face—the futuristic cities, robots, and utopian he called home. He wasn't supposed to feel regret. He was a man, for Pete's Sake!

        Dan let his mind wander to his hook up and followed PPMC the rest of the way to his room.

        She lowered his bed, TV, and dresser to the floor and went to grab his hoverboard and computer.

        Meanwhile, after changing, Dan flipped through the book. He found a chapter about Greenville, South Carolina and read it carefully. It maintained its name over time because of the Valley of Green.

        The Valley of Green—the last good memory of his mom. Dan dug his fossil out of his pocket and clutched it for comfort. He shut the book and looked out his window.

        PPMC soon returned and questioned, "You okay, Dan?" She tossed his hoverscooter and computer onto his bed.

        "I'm fine," Dan lied. He tried to think of the best time to sweet-talk PPMC into putting him in hypersleep and waved his hand. "You can go now."

        "Go? I don't think so, Idiot." PPMC poked his chest. "We have four days of travel ahead of us, and you're not going to lay up and play Portals and Aliens."

        Dan groaned. "What about my book?"

        "You can write at night."

        "But...!"

        "No buts!" PPMC punched her left palm. "Welcome to Operation: Black Hole Boot Camp." She released a mop and bucket from Dan's closet and chucked them at him. "Senior Mop and Junior Bucket will be your best friends on this trip. Now, let's get started!"

        Day One with PPMC could've gone better. Dan attempted to throw the mop and bucket aside, but she brought them back and made him wipe down her entire main hallway as punishment. Her hands watched him like a headless hawk the whole time he worked. What a stubborn starship, but Dan was just as difficult. He puffed out his chest to intimidate PPMC, but she didn't flinch and tossed Senior Mop into his arms again.

        "I'm not the one researching geologic time," she cooed. "Chop, chop, Dan." She spent the rest of the day watching re-runs of 3001: A Space Odyssey.

        Even with her constantly on his shoulders, Dan still managed to write a little in his book that night, but why did he feel like something important was missing from it? Why did he believe he needed to recall his dream and whip out the geologic time scale? Was writing always this problematic?

        Day Two began with the next light speed jump. PPMC buttoned Dan in his astronaut suit and strapped him in his cockpit seat. She reviewed the time machine while they moved through the light speed tunnel.

        "No, that's wrong, PPMC." Dan gestured at the Carboniferous Period. "The Carboniferous Period is known for its coal swamps and high oxygen levels. The trilobites originated in the Cambrian Period." Next thing he knew, he lectured her about geologic time for ten minutes and finished with, "Well, there you have it! That's my geologic lecture for today. Next week, we will cover Rodinia and Snowball Earth. If you're eager to learn about these two incredible events, then don't like a certain teenager get spaghettified, okay?"

        "Good try, Idiot, but not good enough." PPMC dropped out of light speed into an empty section of space. "Senior Mop and Junior Bucket are waiting for you to mop the cockpit."

        They began to get used to each other on Day Three. PPMC gave Dan the afternoon off and took him to her pool for a dip. She couldn't get in the water, so he entertained her.

        He walked to the edge of her see-through diving board and called, "Hey, PPMC! Watch this!" Dan cracked his fingers and lifted his arms. He started to bounce, but almost instantly, he slipped and body-slammed into the deep end. The first thing he heard when he re-surfaced was PPMC laughing maniacally.

        "It's not funny!" Dan complained, reaching behind him. "I think I broke my butt!" For the rest of the time at the pool, he soaked in the hot tub, his backside pressed against a bubble jet, and studied the breathtaking nebulas they flew through.

        After he recovered from the pool incident, Dan raced PPMC down the hallway on his hoverscooter's scooter form. Unfortunately, he pressed the wrong button when he tried to go faster, and Hoverscooter 23 veered to the left. He crashed through the emergency compartment's door and ended up under the hospital-like bed. His hoverscooter twirled away from him and hit the wall.

        "Dan!" PPMC shouted.

        He started to get up, but his head smacked the bed's underside. "Ow!"

        "Did you hurt yourself?" PPMC quickly inquired.

        "Ha!" Dan crawled out and stood. He faced her and pointed at his face. "Do you think this gets hurt?"

        She sighed. "I'm gonna have to put you in a bubble."

        Dan flicked his wrist. "I'm fine, PPMC. Don't worry. That's not the first time that's happened." Nevertheless, after two days of not having one, he had another coughing fit. He clutched his chest with both hands and collapsed to his knees.

        Did he hear fear in PPMC's voice? "Dan, are you feeling all right?" That was impossible. She was an AI, and AI didn't have emotions.

        Forcing a smile, Dan stood. "I feel great, but I'm gonna head to my room."

        "Good idea. I think you have enough bruises for one day." PPMC scooped up his hoverscooter and handed it to him. She gently pushed him out of the compartment and waved. "You're going to help me peel potatoes later for dinner. Just FYI."

        "Aw, but PPMC!"

        "I'm your mother, so you must listen to me."

        His attitude instantly changed. "You're not my mother. I thought we already established that." Dan held up one finger. "Remember, I'm here for a one-night stand, and hopefully, Dad will spend more time with me afterward."

        "I still don't know what this one-night stand you keep yabbering about is," PPMC argued, "but something tells me it's not the priority here."

        "I want a woman to love me again!" Dan finally blurted. "That's what a one-night stand is, PPMC! It's sex that lasts one night, okay?"

        "Uh!" PPMC gagged. "That's gross, Dan! You know there's more to life than sex, right?"

        "You sound like Dad. Just... shut up! I'm going to my room." Dan puffed out his reddening cheeks and stamped his foot. He marched down the hallway and slipped into his room.

***

        Dan was hiding something from PPMC. Whatever it was, he didn’t trust her enough to reveal it.

        According to Ben, Becca was slowly showing signs of improvement when her health took an unexpected turn for the worse. He also said Dan was the last person alone with her before she passed. Something happened when Ben left him to speak with the doctor, but what? If PPMC could figure it out, she may be able to help Dan better. She spent a few hours in her cockpit thinking about that, but then she got a call from him.

        His voice came loud and clear on her microphone, but she didn’t load his hologram. “PPMC, can you bring me a glass of water? I threw up.”

        “Threw up?” Did PPMC yell? “What are you talking about?”

        “I was taking some medicine for my cold, and it just happened,” Dan explained. “Please, PPMC?”

        “I’ll be right there. Just hold tight.” PPMC hung up and hustled to her kitchen. She poured a glass of water and dropped into Dan’s room soon after. “Dan?”

        “I’m in the bathroom,” he called.

        PPMC opened the door to it and went inside. Compared to the rest of his room, the bathroom was small and had blue-tinted walls instead of gray.

        Dan hovered over the toilet. A light under it turned the black seat royal blue. The same kind of light was under the sink and shower.

        “Thanks, PPMC.” Dan moved his dad’s gift and accepted the cup.

        “What happened?” PPMC checked the toilet to see if anything was left over, but it looked like he had already flushed.

        Dan shut the lid. “I had a panic attack. It happens occasionally, but they’re not as frequent as they were when Mom first died.”

        “Another panic attack?” Was he lying?

        “Sure.” Dan nodded and sipped his cup. “I mean—you are sending me to a black hole. What else did you expect?” He picked up his book and stood.

        “Dan, I think you need to rest for the remainder of the day.”

        He shrugged. “That’s cool with me.” Dan passed PPMC, exited the bathroom, and sat on his bed. He set his hands on his thighs and lowered his head.

        She soon approached him. “Are you really okay, kid? If you don’t mind me asking—what exactly happened to your mom?”

        “Huh?” Dan’s eyes widened. He pulled his legs onto his bed and turned away from PPMC. Yep, he definitely didn’t trust her yet.

        After a moment of silence, PPMC said, “Sorry. However, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what it is.”

        No answer.

        PPMC stayed patient. “I understand. You can tell me when you’re ready. I’m going to make you some dinner, and you’re going to rest. Please call me if something happens again.”

        Still no answer. Dan turned on the gauntlet and loaded a picture of the geologic time scale. It took up the length of his window.

        PPMC inched closer. “You know, there’s something else the gauntlet can do aside from PPMC Project-related mechanics. Do you want me to show you?”

        He finally spoke. “Maybe later. Let’s get through the black hole first.”

        “As you wish. I’ll see you tomorrow… Dan.” PPMC patted his shoulder and left his room.

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