System loading…

Beep!Ding*Wring!

Downloading system… Please wait… 9 min. 

System Booting… 5 min.

…3 min.

………0.23 s

System START!

87888888887878788888888787878888888

78777777777777788787878888888787878

78888888888888888888888888787878787

 

*Ding*

“RAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

“SCREEEAAAACCCCCHHH!!!”

 

System Download Complete. 

Updating user…

User updated.  

 

Processing User data…

Data updated. 

Welcome user, 0623501.

 

User identified. 

Welcome, “Terri Hannigan”

“What the FUCK? My name is SO NOT Terri Hannigan!"

?

System Checking…

System Reviewing…

System Data Updating…

…

..

 

.

System Error…zzzzzzz

Forced Shut Down. Rebooting………………

Rebooting……..

“What the heck is this?!!”

Downloading Information….

System Updating….

….

 

……

 

Update Complete. 

Welcome user 60425. 

User Identified. 

Welcome, user “F84iKLdf00ewld9”

 

“The fuck is this!?????”

“Some sort of frickin blue screen! Have I died or something?!” 

“Uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….”

“I got to do homework though, how am I supposed to see now!!”

She sighed,

"Hah...Does it even matter in the first place?"

She looked at the passed the blue screen at her homework, "I don't really care anymore..."

Listen, suicide is a permanent solution…

“To a temporary problem. Yah, whatever, like I care.”

What would someone like her know about life anyway…

Well, she was always a weird one.

 

“Hah! Whatever. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“If only this screen could disappear, the heck is it even saying? Somethin crazy happened…Geez, go away!”

“Huh? That actually worked?”

“Geez, it’s like a game or something.”

“Crazy…”

She glanced at her homework and groaned.

“Ughhhhhh, homeworkkkk…bleh.”

Is it even worth trying anyway…

Yet, her mind only asked one question.

Do you want to be like them? Is that what you want? 

“.......................................................”

“..................................................”

“..............................................................no.”

Do I have a choice though? 

She complained, 

“Not really………”

 

“Ate!!” “Ading!” 

“Come Down!! Food! Eat!”

She replied, 

“Coming!”

Yay, food! <3 

“It seems like me and you, my dear homework…”

She fake cried, 

“Are not meant to be.” 

“Bye bitch.” 

Food!!

……………………………………………………………………………………………

“Mmmmm, I feel much better now!”

“Though, it’s quite late now though, whatever, WOAH!! What the?!”

System Greets User. 

“So I wasn’t hallucinating?”

System Greets User.

“I can see the blue screen again…”

“Aggghhhh, go away!”

System Politely Refuses. 

“Hah”

System Politely Refuses.

“Well, I politely request that you…”

“Get the FUCK OUT!!!”

System COMPLETELY Refuses. 

“Bruh.”

 

“ADING!!!!”

“Oh shit.”

*BANG*

“What is wrong with you!!”

“Nothing! Nothing!”

Her brother glared at her suspiciously. 

She hurriedly replied,

"It’s nothing! Nothing! Why can’t you just chill a little!!”

“Why can’t you chill!!”

“Fine, whatever. Leave me alone.”

“QUIET down then!”

“Understand?”

“Yeah, OK.”

*BANG*

Her brother slammed the door shut.

She murmured under her breath, 

“Talk about quiet.”

……

 

Hey? Hello? Can you hear me like this? 

System Greets User. 

*haaahhhh*

She sighed. 

What are you? And what’s with that name???

System Responds.

Dear User, your name is not present in the system’s dictionary. So System cannot “speak” it.

So?

User, this system was not programmed to understand names outside the English dictionary.

Huh?

User, the system was not meant to help people like you. 

System does not know how you became a user.

What??

System presents data of past users.

 

System Analyzing…

 

System Organizing….

 

Data Organization Complete.

 

User, here is System Data of Past Users. 

System User Data:

> Anglo Saxon Men 98%

> Anglo Saxon Women 2%

*Out of 2, 885,649 users

—------------------------------------------------

She questioned, 

So what? 

System Restates.

User, you are not the target market of system services. 

System was not programmed to “speak” your name.

So, system cannot “speak” your name.

Wow….OK

She mocked, 

“So much for being a system then….” 

System Responds.

User, are you ready to activate System?

“Can I not?”

System Refuses. 

“Why?”

System Responds.

User, are you ready to activate the System? Please Respond in 10….

9……

“Helllooooo! Why?? Ahh!!”

8…….

“Umm…system???”

7…….

No Response. System Automatically Activating…

It hasn’t even been 10 seconds yet??!!

System Activating…

“Woahhh…Huh??”

“Ughh, that light is blinding….”

System Activates.

*BOOM*

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

..............

................

System Active. 

Greeting User, F8$3firUe8

“Bruh, Seriously” 😒 

“At least try to pronounce my name.”

System Repeats.

Your name is not in the system dictionary.

“Then just use my English name”

System: ?

System Requests English Name.

“Do you really not know it?”

System Nods.

“Oh, guess you're not all knowing huh.”

System Agrees. 

“You’re actually agreeing?!!”

System Nods.

“Geez, weirdo…”

System Requests English Name. 

“Oh, sorry. My English name is Amy.”

System Comments. 

User, your English name is very basic.  

“Yah, that’s the point.”

System: ? 

“It’s basic enough that people can’t NOT say it."

“Better than teachers stumbling over my actual name…”

System is Curious. 

System Questions.

Is it hard?

“You can’t imagine…”

System Expresses Curiosity.

“Yah no.”

“I’m not explaining it.”

System is Frustrated.

“Stay that way then.”

System is Upset 😭😠 

“You can use emojis!!”

System: Obviously, System is not old tech, bah!

“Really? How old are you??”

 

System Calculating….

 

System Calculating…..

 

…..

…

…..

“Gonna calculate forever?”

System Calculating….

“Just forget I asked.”

System Stops Calculating.

“Right…😒”

“Anyway, just call me Amy.”

“Better than that F8 thing.”

System Responds.

Greetings User Amy. 

Please Click ‘Yes’ to Proceed With the System.

“So like, click the blue box?”

Please Click “The Blue Box” to Proceed With System.

“Ok, ok, got it, I’m not stupid you know.”

System Responds.

That is up for debate.

“Says a system who can’t even pronounce a name if it’s not in the English dictionary?”😒

“Even I can do that! I guess that means you're stupider than me!” 😂

System Calls For User to Reevaluate System’s Intelligence.

“Nope!”

“Ok, so I clicked the damn button. Can you explain now?”

System Activates. 

Showing User Information.

“Wow, that picture looks exactly like me!”

“What’s with these stats, I’m not that weak.”

She glanced at her intelligence stat, 

“…Can intelligence even be measured??”

System Responds. 

No, that it just the calculated IQ of User

“Ohh, so why’s it there?”

System: System finds it unnecessary as intelligence is not so easy to calculate. Yet, it is part of the system's programming.

“Then just get rid of it.” 

System Responds. 

Since It Is Part of System Programming…

System Cannot.

“Welp, that sucks.”

“Are all these stats actually real? Since, like, they don’t make any sense?”

System Responds.

They are Stats Calculated by System Information of the User. 

“Ok? That still doesn’t explain how weird they are??”

“The fuck is strength at 0.03 for??”

System Responds. 

Exercise Then.

“Yah no. Not happening.”

“Anyway, that still doesn’t change the 0.00 form of stats?”

“Isn’t it usually out of a hundred? I know I don’t exercise. BUT shouldn’t it at least be 3!!”

System Explains. 

0.01 to 1.0 is Average Human Stats

1.0 to 2.0 is Above Average of Human Stats

2.0 to 3.0 is Unusual Human Stats

Stats Above 3.0 Are Outliers/Extremely Unusual Human Stats

“Where the heck does this even come from?”

Ask the System Programmers.

“So you don’t even know?”

System Shakes it Head.

User, System Does Not Know Everything.

“Ok, didn’t say you had to, just curious.”

So, based on these measurements - can these stats be improved?”

System Responds.

Yes, all stats are changeable. 

“Even the IQ Test?”

System Responds. 

User, the more IQ tests you take, the easier they are. So, the higher you’re IQ. 

“It can't be that easy…*yawnnnn*”

“Never mind, let’s continue this tomorrow. I’m sleepy 🥱”

System Understands.

System Shutting Down…

System Enters Sleep Mode

……………………………………..

 

…………………

 

……….

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

Yo…

The fuck is this… ughhhhh.

System Rebooting…

SERIOUSLY!!!

She glanced the System clock, 

Look…system…it’s like 3 in the morning. I CANNOT function at THREE IN THE MORNING.

System Apologizes. 

System Wakes Up Earlier Than Most. 

“Ummm….”

“I’m  sure…*yawn*”

“People don’t… ughhh…”

“Get up at threeee….*yawn*”

“Just…quiet, ok……?”

System Responds. 

System Understands User Request. 

System Updating to Not Make Noise When Rebooting…

Update Complete. 

Now, Rebooting Will Be Quiet. 

“Ughhhh…..ok….even your voice is annoying….”

System: ?

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* 

“Ughhh….againnnn! System, didn't I tell you to be quiet!”

System Is Lonely. 

“Yah so?“

System Repeats. 

System is Lonely. 

“I don’t care, I only wake up at seven. It’s literally like five or something.”

System Clarifies.

It is 5:34 A.M. Pacific Standard Time 

???

“Zzzzz….”

?

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

“Ughhh, what???”

“I’m trying to sleep…”

System Responds. 

User Must Complete Mission 001

User Penalty is Death.

“Yah…ok….”

She went back to sleep.

?

System Repeats.

User Must Complete Mission 001

User Penalty is Death.

“Cool.”

She went back to sleeping again…

???

System is Confused…

System Analyzing User…

….

…..

….

System Updated User Penalty.

User Must Complete Mission 001

User Penalty is Reuniting With User’s Biological Father.

“Ok…WHAT?!”

Are you INSANE!!

System Rejoices That User is Awake!

Ughh..yeah. Repeat the punishment??

System Repeats.

User Must Complete Mission 001

User Penalty is Reuniting with User’s Biological Father.

Are you for real!!?

System Explains.

System Is Indeed “For Real”.

“Uggggghhhhh….it’s five in the fuckin morning…..”

??

“And you’re having me do THIS!!!”

?? 

System States.

User, that is not System's problem…

“……”

bitch.

??

System Request User to Restate Their Words.

BITCHHHHHHHHH!! Just give me the fuckin mission.

System Presents Mission.

Mission 001

> Run 880 Yards  

0/880 Yards  Task Incomplete

 

>  Complete 10 Burpees

0/10 Burpees  Task Incomplete 

 

> Complete 5 Push Ups(Knees)

0/5 Push Ups  Task Incomplete

 

> Walk 10 Minutes

Walk 0/10 Min.  Task Incomplete 

 

> Perform Side Lunge Stretch

Left Side 0/30 seconds Task Incomplete

Right Side 0/30 seconds  Task Incomplete

 

>Perform Calf Stretch 

Left Side 0/30 seconds Task Incomplete

Right Side 0/30 seconds Task Incomplete

 

> Perform Glute Bridge 5 Times

0/5 Times Task Incomplete

 

> Perform Standing Quad Stretch 

Left Side 0/30 seconds Task Incomplete

Right Side 0/30 seconds Task Incomplete

 

> Hold Cobra 15 seconds

Cobra Held 0/15 seconds Task Incomplete

 

> Consume 3 grams of Protein 

0/3 grams of protein consumed Task Incomplete

 

“………………”

Your mission is to LITERALLY have me EXERCISE!!!

System Responds. 

Mission 001 Must Be Complete.

Completion Time is 2 Hours.

Starting Timer… 1 hour, 59 minutes, 58 seconds remaining  …

I hate youuuuuu!!!!!!!

She whispered under her breath, 

“You don’t understand!!!!”

System is Confused.

??

“This…ugh….I’m so tired…”

System Requests User to Explain. 

“Ughh….my head hurts...”

Amy gets up from her bed.

“System…I live in a sundown town..”

System is Confused??

“Really? You’ve never heard of sundown towns before??”

System Shakes it Head.

“Ahh…”

System Requests Information of “Sundown Town”.

“Just ask Reddit. I’d rather not talk about it. It’s just too dark outside, so can you push the mission until later?”

System Is Confused. 

System Analyzes User Memory…

Checking User’s Memory of Regarding Key Word: “Sundown Town”

Reviewing Information…

System Information Review Complete.

System Apologizes.

System Was Not Aware of This Issue.

System Thanks User Amy For Helping to Expand Its Database. 

System Will Make Sure its Future Missions Do Not Endanger the User.

“Ahh, it’s ok.”

System Cancels Mission 001.

System Will Introduce New Mission…

WHAT? Why??!!😭

She complained, 

“I wanna go back to sleep!!”

System Presents Mission 001(Revised). 

Mission 001(Revised)

> Complete Assigned Algebra 1 Worksheet 

0/20 Questions Complete

 

 > Complete Assigned Literature Homework

0/6 Questions Complete 

 

> Complete Assigned Literature Reading

0/35 Pages Complete 

 

Bonus Section! 

> Complete Assigned Biology Homework! 

 

 > Complete Assigned Spanish Homework!

 

Reward: ???? 

 

System Note:

• Mission 001 to 010 are part of the tutorial. So, they do not provide rewards upon completion. 
• System recognizes its ignorance could have potentially harmed the user.
• To compensate the user, Mission 001 will provide a reward upon completion.
• Please note that a reward can only be obtained after completing the mission. If the user completes any bonus sections additional rewards will be added. 

 

“Umm…ok. I think I get the gist of it.”

System Apologizes for It’s Ignorance.

“That’s ok…is the penalty the same?”

System Nods. 

She sighs, 

“Alright…when does the mission end?”

System States the User has 2hrs 30m 38s remaining on timer.

“What?? Already!”

User has 2hrs 30m 34s Remaining...

“Ok, ok! I’m on it!!”

It’s still FIVE in the morning…

😭😭😭