Sometimes, while I stared at the night sky, I felt so close to the stars and yet at the same time, I felt so alone. I wondered why I should make so much effort to live when all it took for a life to break apart was a tug. Life is so fragile, so weak, so… easily broken. Seeing that I was going to die no matter what, what were my efforts for? trying so hard to get into a good school, getting high grades—when all it took was a disease to render everything obsolete? Why was there a need to fear dying and death itself—the need to feel, the need to dream when being dead means feeling nothing and not dreaming? Maybe, there was nothing to fear about—for when I am gone I would fear nothing by then.
But then, the only person leaving was me—and being alone is scary.
Why must I go? Why can’t I stay?
These thoughts were the reasons Melanie led sleepless nights. And even if she were to sleep, she could only dream of darkness. Every night, she feared it might take me away and she would no longer be able to see the Sun anymore.
At times, she felt like the person dying wasn’t her—it was another her. And that she wasn’t her and her body was not her.
Ridiculous thoughts!
The fear of dying must have made her mad, giving her illusions—fragmented memories of being another person! Oh, how she must fear death very much.
When I am gone, will there be anyone who would remember me? Or will my old existence be erased along with my life, as if I had never existed at all?
There was one time when she first moved here that she felt like she was not sick at all. But then, as times went by, her condition started to worsen again. Then she thought to herself, I was still going to die.
These days, she can not bear to even look at her siblings. Their playful laughter seemed so evil—buzzing incessantly in my ears. The bright sunlight seemed to be trying to burn me with all it had. She hung her head low, cowering at the sight of joy—what is joy when I am dying?
She started to forget what type of person she was supposed to be. All she felt was anger—anger with life. And all she did was smile like a fool, trying to fool everyone that she was fine. But, she guessed that her little show could not fool her parents.
They would usually refuse any visits from anyone she knew from the city. Yet, this time, they allowed a single visit from a certain Sven Kirk Wisteria. Why?
They think it would bring her joy—what is joy when I am dying?
Then again—perhaps, unconsciously—she did hope to see him one last time before she passed on to the other world. He was someone that she was in love with—but she left my feelings to die when she found out that she was very much sick.
Weekend came and she was awake, and for the first time of her life—for a very long time—she was looking forward to the day. She looked at herself in the mirror—her hair in a floral braid and she wore a matching pair of dress.
Was she that much excited to see him? Maybe so.
It would be nice to see a face other than those she sees every day. Elly hugged her from behind, “You look pretty today, Mel. Are you meeting someone later?” “It’s an old friend,” Melanie replied, trying to sound uninterested about meeting him. Elly let her go and stared. “What is it, Elly? I can’t bring you along if that’s what you are thinking,” She asked, noticing her stare.
She shook her head and said, “Why are your eyes golden, Mel?” Elly’s voice curved with curiosity. Melanie blinked, looking at herself in the mirror and back at Elly. She did not know the answer. She opened her mouth to speak but their mother called for Elly and she left.
After a while, the doorbell rang and she ambled down the stairs to the door. She turned the doorknob, and while the sunlight blinded her, she could see a tall, handsome figure standing in front of her. He bore golden hair that shone like the sun behind him and emerald eyes that further contributed to his handsome face. She could swore she felt her heart skip a beat. He extended his hand and smiled, “Hello, Melanie.”
While she could not recognize the person that stood in front of her in a heartbeat—her mouth moved, regardless, on its own to reply—“Sven”. She returned the smile and they shook hands. He reminded her of someone, someone who meant a lot to her—someone she love? But was that not him?
Was her mind trying to confuse her again?
They made their way to the hill, and made idle talk along the way. It felt almost all too natural—she felt no need to force herself to smile or anything. It took almost no effort at all, talking to him. His presence was comforting, just like that person.
What person?
“Lune!” said Soleil, trying to get her attention. Sitting together on the bench, Lune was totally immersed in her reading. “Stop reading every time you’re with me!” he whined, taking the book away from her. She tried to reach for it but she was not quick enough.
She looked downwards and whispered to the winds, “…I could only read at peace …when I’m with you.” Soleil froze, his cheeks turned slightly red, “What did you just say?” Lune looked at him for a moment, seeing that he was too caught up with what she had said earlier, took the opportunity to take the book back.
Putting the book down on her lap, she hung her head low. Soleil looked at her and asked, “Something wrong?” Lune smiled weakly and replied, “I was summoned by the seeress. She foresees something terrible would happen and that I would bring great calamity to our kind.”
“Don’t think too much of it, I’m sure everything will be alright. It might have been a misreading,” he replied with a big smile plastered on his face.
“That would be nice but… if anything were to happen to me, promise me you will trust me,” Lune turned to face Soleil.
“I promise. Even if everyone else doesn’t, I will always be on your side.” Soleil grinned. “If you were truly to get deep into something huge, I will be right behind you, to take you home.”
The Wisteria Family was like an authority figure of sorts in this city of Machina. As one of the founding families of the Mechanics Academy, they had power over the country’s ENGINEER, Division III. ENGINEER referred to a special military force that exists in this country that uses machines as their main offense and everyone who joins ENGINEER are individuals with extraordinary abilities and connections with machines. There were twelve divisions as there were twelve cities in this country.
The City of Machina was the ENGINEER’s headquarters and Division III was based here. Living up to the family’s name, Sven Kirk Wisteria was also an exceptional student of the Mechanics Academy. He was extremely committed to the country and was willing to put his life on the line for the country. His time in the academy was short and he was immediately recruited to Division III. Compared to the other divisions, Division III was special. It had fewer members than the rest, having only 7 instead of 100 but the capabilities of the members are exceptional or we could say that they were geniuses of sorts.
They were chosen after thorough observations and examinations by the Wisteria Family. There were only 6 members in Division III at this time and a war was nearing. Sven knew of a certain individual perfect for being the 7th member in Division III and set it as his responsibility to bring this person forth to the presence of the Wisteria Family.
