Recently I’ve been consumed by the desire to chronicle my life. Perhaps it has something to do with this body’s previous owner, or its because of the flashes of my original life I’ve been seeing lately. But I suspect the true reason is because of the shocking reminder of our fleeting mortality I received 2 weeks ago when I killed my own fiance after I myself was violently murdered. My body may already be dead, but I am still alive, and I feel compelled to leave behind some record of what really happened.

Fortunately, I have plenty of time on my hands as of late, so I can start from the beginning. There’s not much else to do in prison. I’m not sure if or when I’ll be executed, but I wouldn’t blame them if I did. I knew this would happen when I confessed to being an assassin sent after the life of the king after all. Execution was a risk I was prepared to take, and even that would help further my goals.

By the way, in case you were wondering, I’m not currently chained up in a dark dungeon cell like some common criminal. I may be heavily guarded, but as the crown prince of the neighboring country, I am afforded some comedies. Quill and ink to write with, for example, and a shabby desk and parchment to write on. So write I shall.

◊ ◊ ◊

It all started 19 years ago when I was dragged here from another world as a broken soul. My earliest memory in this world was when I awoke in pure darkness, surrounded by several contorted humanoid figures. Some of them had too many limbs, some too few, and most had a combination of the two. Half of them had seemingly random animal and insect appendages, and a few even adorned strange metallic castings. They were all completely unique, but one thing they had in common was that they were all staring curiously at me.

One of the stepped calmly towards me, naked, arms spread wide as if she had nothing to hide. She seemed the most human of them, but something about her felt off. Whether it was her excessively large breasts or ridiculously wide hips, she fell deep into the uncanny valley in my eyes. Rather than lust, all I felt towards her is disgust.

“Welcome stranger, to the realm of the gods. I am Nihs, Goddess of Life,” she said as she circled around me, looking me up and down. After 3 rounds, she stopped in front of me and placed her hand on my cheek and smiled. It was warm to the touch, but sent shivers down my spine.

“Gods? But I’m fairly certain I’m a human,” I said as I glanced around the room. There weren’t any clues in sight though, as the only visible things were the strange beings surrounding me. “How did I get here?”

“This is the realm of the gods,” she said, “but not the gods you may be familiar with. We’ve summoned you from another world. Don’t worry, all will be explained in due time, but first, if you could answer a question for us.”

From the crowd surrounding me a black and white mask suddenly floated between Nihs and I. Though the spaces where the eyes should be were completely empty, I could feel it intently gazing at me. I would say that it felt like they could see into my very soul, but as I was nothing but a soul at the time, that would apply to everyone looking at me.

“Tell us, who are you?” it asked. The voice that came out of it was both completely androgynous and monotone, as if it didn’t have a personality of it’s own.

“Isn’t it common sense to introduce yourself before asking for another person’s identity?” It’s appearance only helped aggravate the feeling of unease I was feeling at the time, so I decided to be a little snarky with it.

“Yes, it is. Tell us, who are you?” it calmly replied in the same monotonous voice.

“Then why haven’t you introduced yourself yet? Are you looking down on me?”

“You have not yet asked for my name. We are currently at equal height. You have yet to answer my question. Tell us, who are you?”

I breathed a sigh and asked, “In that case, who are you?”

“It is common sense to introduce yourself before asking for another person’s identity. Tell us, who are you?”

At that point I was sure that thing was messing with me. Just as I was about to punch it with all my might, Nihs stepped forward and pushed it to the side with her right hand.

“Well, lets just ignore Shiku for now shall we? Don’t worry, he means no offense; he’s like that with everyone. As the god of lies and deception, his only purpose is to ask and answer questions as straightforwardly as possible, and tell when people are lying or hiding something. That should answer your question about who he is, and you already know who I am. I would ask that all the other gods here introduced themselves as well, but as you can probably tell, that could take a while. So unless there’s anyone here you’re specifically curious about, could you tell us who you are?”

That was the 5th time I was asked that question. There was just one problem; I had no idea who I was. Truth be told, I didn’t want to let down these complete strangers who I just met. They all seemed to expect something from me, and I didn’t want to disappoint them by telling them I had absolutely no memories whatsoever.

Rather than admit that, I would have preferred to take the time to learn who everyone here was, but I got the feeling the other gods were running out of patience. One of them in particular was practically glaring at me at this point, so I tried to deflect by asking about him.

“In that case, who’s the fat, angry-looking bear with the crocodile head over there?” I asked as I pointed at him.

In addition to those strange features, he was well over 8ft tall, had 4 arms, and a long, spiked tail. He donned a set of bone armor made from unrecognizable species, though human bones were clearly present. Looking closely, it seemed like his bear fur was growing out from the spaces between the scales covering his whole body. When he opened his mouth to speak I could see many rows of shark teeth.

“Learn your place boy. We are all gods and goddesses here except for you. I am Lorose, God of Strength and War. I am not known as a kind god, and if you don’t start showing us some respect, you’ll soon find out why.”

His bottom arms swung an over-sized halberd and broadsword in front my face as his top arms shot an arrow past my right ear. As I avoided his menacing glare, I noticed smoke coming out of his flaring nostrils and a red glow coming from his throat.

“Now now, calm down Lorose. We have plenty of time here, I made sure of that.” An old man in a suit materialized out of no where in front of Lorose and spoke to him in a calm voice.

“It really is about time you learned some patience Lorose.” A raspy, masculine voice seemed to come out of Nihs’ body, but her mouth didn’t move as it spoke.

Before I could ask about it’s source, the old man turned towards me and introduced himself. As he did, his wrinkles faded away as if they were never there and his hunched back straightened. His thin, white hair suddenly gained volume and was dyed a rich, blond color.

“My name is Rotcod, the Lord of Time and Space. I hope my appearance doesn’t startle you, it changes constantly depending on my mood.”

“You’re a lord and not a god?”

“No, of course not. Time and space has existed long before any of us have. I simply rule over it in this particular world. Therefore I am simply a lord unlike the rest of the gods here. Though if you ask any of them or the humans in this world, I am a god, so feel free to treat me like one if you wish.”

“I might as well do that then; it’ll be easier that way.” Considering how everyone treated him with the same amount of respect as the other gods, it was safe to assume that he was just as powerful as the other gods present. Perhaps he was even more so, depending on his control over time and space.

“Very well young man. Now, I think I understand your why you’re so hesitant to tell us about yourself. You can’t, can you? You don’t remember anything before waking up here.”

“How did you know? I don’t seem to have any memories at all. But I’m sure I lived a life before this.”

“I sense no deceit from his words,” said Skiku from the side. It’s words caused a small murmur from the crowd.

I was starting to worry about what would happen to me now that they knew I had amnesia, but Rotcod’s next words put my worries to rest.

“Don’t worry, it’s not a bad thing. It’s actually to be expected, the chances of a soul remembering it’s past lives are next to none, especially when they have to cross over multiple worlds. In fact, it’s probably for the best if you didn’t remember anything; if you did then we’d have to send you back to the world you came from.”

As he said that, Rotcod’s body aged about 10 years, but it didn’t bother me nearly as much as it should have. At least it was always a purely human form.

“Why is that?”

“Allow me to explain,” interjected a strange man with an owl’s head. The back of his head was too big though, even for his enlarged owl head, as if it was making room for it’s brain. “The world you came is far more technologically advanced than our world, and what you knew about it could dramatically change the world we spent so much effort building. And we built our world the way we did for a reason; we wouldn’t want you to mess it all up now.”

“I see. Well is there anything you can tell me about who I used to be?”

“Are you sure? You might not like the answer.”

“Yes. Its incredibly discomforting not knowing a thing about who you are.”

“In that case, I, Lirt, God of Knowledge shall tell you what little I can. As the one who read your memories, I can tell you more about yourself than anyone else here. Unfortunately, there isn’t much I can tell you.”

“Why is that? Was my world’s technology that big a part of my life?”

“Yes, but that’s not the reason why I can’t tell you much. Its because you didn’t have much of a life.”

“What do you mean by that? Did I die young?”

“No, you lived a long time. By this world’s standards you were already a middle-aged man when you died. But you had no family, no lovers, and no friends you ever met face to face. Even after you died, no one truly mourned your death. You spent most of your adult life in a single room; you didn’t even leave for nourishment. Everything you needed was delivered to you by others.”

It was depressing to hear that I lived such a lethargic life, but it didn’t feel like they were lying about who I was. In fact, everything they said simply felt right.

“How did I die?” I asked in a weak voice.

“Suicide.” The mysterious gravely voice from earlier answered me, but I was too distraught to find it’s source. After a moment of silence I was ready to continue the conversation.

“So if it’s not for my memories, why would you drag someone as pathetic as me here? What do you want from me?”

“That doesn’t matter much does it? What matters is if you want a second chance to live a fulfilling life. Because if you don’t, then we can just send you back and find someone else. I’m sure Lorose here would be more than happy to replace you with someone more respectful.” Rotcod was just a little boy this time as he said that. His suit somehow adjusted to fit him perfectly each time he changed form.

“A second chance? You mean I can be reborn in your world?”

“That’s right. What do you say? As the goddess of life, it would be a simple matter to inject your soul into a still-born baby. If you do, then we will gladly grant you our blessings so you’ll have an easier time in this world. Of course, whether or not you’ll live a happy life is completely up to to you.” Nihs said as she rubbed her womb.

“What happens to me if I say no?”

“Then you’ll be sent back to the world you came from. What happens after that we don’t know. You may be reincarnated, sent to some form of the afterlife, or simply cease to exist. We don’t have much contact with your world’s self proclaimed god, and every soul we’ve met so far has had different opinions on what happens after they die.”

I should have asked about the other souls they’ve summoned, but I was too focused on the possibility of living a new live to notice. If I did, things may not have ended up this way.

“I see.” After thinking it over for a moment, I gave her my answer. “In that case, I would like to accept your generous offer. I’ve already have amnesia; what else do I have to lose? I swear I won’t live the same worthless life I did before.”

“I sense no deceit from his words,” Shiku confirmed I wasn’t lying once again from the sidelines.

“Good. In that case, what do you want in your new life? 3 of us shall grant you our blessings. Whether it be fame, money or women, our blessings will aid you in acquiring it.”

I didn’t know who I was, but I was certain I didn’t desire fame. If anything I would prefer to not stand out, so that was out of the question. I didn’t want an excessive amount of money either. Even if had it, I wouldn’t know what to do with it. Back then I didn’t know what money could buy, but even now I don’t feel compelled to live a life of luxury. However, there was one thing I specifically wanted at the moment.

“I know I can’t ask for my old memories back, but it would be nice to not forget anything else. I don’t want to feel this way ever again.”

“Very well then.” The owl-man stepped within arms reach. “I, Lirt, God of Knowledge, grant you my blessing. May your memory be ever-lasting.” The strange owl-man spread his feathered arms wide in a dramatic fashion and squeezed my head with his talon-like hands. It felt as though my skull was about to crushed, but the pain subsided immediately after he released my head from his grip.

“Are you sure that’s okay? We’re supposed to bless his new body, not his very soul.” Lorose seemed shocked by Lirt’s blessing.

“Don’t worry, what harm could a good memory possibly do? If anything, it helps that he’ll remember this moment clearly years from now.”

“I concur, it probably won’t affect the results too much.” Nihs didn’t seem to have too much of a problem with this. As it turns out, giving my very soul that particular blessing would affect the god’s plans more than they expected, but it seemed harmless enough at the time. Lirt was aware of this of course, and the other gods were very upset when they found out.

“So, what else do you wish for?”

“I...” I pondered for bit trying to discover what exactly what I wanted in life. However, it was hard to think of anything specific without any memories. After searching deep down within myself, I finally came up with an answer. It was something I’m certain was missing in my previous life.

“I want to be loved. I want to be surrounded by friends and family who will miss me when I’m gone, and who I can love back.” Tears ran down my cheek as I said that and I truly understood how lonely I was in my last life.

I was barraged by a variety of strange laughs as I wiped the tears from my face. It was too late to take back my answer though, and I wouldn’t even if I could. I was determined to live the most meaningful life I could, and I wouldn’t let my shame get in the way.

“There’s no need for embarrassment; many people wish to be loved. Whether its as family, friend, or lover, another person’s love and affection is many people’s true desire. Therefore, I, Luslo, Goddess of Love and Lust, shall grant you my blessing when you are reborn into this world. What is the last thing you wish for?”

Luslo was another naked semi-humanoid goddess by the way. But unlike Nihs, nothing about her was excessively large. If anything, her proportions were slightly slim. Unfortunately her looks were ruined by her pitch black eyes, razor sharp nails and fangs, and the long snake body that acted as her lower half.

“I...I don’t know.” After thinking for a while, I couldn’t come up with a sufficient answer, so that was all I could say. It seemed like my only wish from the bottom of my soul was to be loved. I could have wished for an easy, privileged life, but I got the feeling that it wouldn’t be the meaningful life I wanted to live.

“Enough! No more stalling! I have a war to watch. We’ve wasted enough time with needless discussion. If there is nothing else you want, then I shall grant you my blessing after you are born.” Lorose loudly declared. I questioned the effectiveness of a blessing given so angrily, but it all worked out in the end.

“Very well, now that that’s all done, I hope you live your new life to the fullest.” Nihs said as she turned away from me. I recoiled in shock from her backside. On the back of her head was another face, pale and wrinkled. It’s hollowed, cloudy eyes seemed to look through me rather than at me, and it’s dried lips barely moved as it spoke.

“I am Shin, God of Death. We shall meet again when you die. Until then, I suggest you live each day like its your last.” I finally discovered the source of the withered voice that came out of Nihs’ body earlier. Though he lacked the muscles to smile, it felt as though he was laughing at me.

After that my vision blurred as the gods and goddesses faded into the darkness behind them. The last thing I heard was the jovial laughs of the deities as they disappeared. Back then, I thought they were simply happy for me. Unfortunately I didn’t know just how cruel they were at the time. Nor did they know how far I’d go for the sake of revenge.