Talentless Chapter 1: Self

   ane war, This was my name. Because my father ran away and didn't come out to me, I only have my mother's surname. As theoretically I was similar to my father, my mother always compared me and blamed me, taking out the frustration she had with my father on me unfairly. 

   I remember how she always looked with contempt. Apparently, she only took care of me out of legal and moral obligation - even if she wasn't a honest person. She grows up in a dysfunctional home, I don't feel sorry for the lack of a father (already a male figure), as well as my mother's troubled mind. Always pessimistic, always negative, always hateful. Nothing I did was good for her.  No matter how hard I tried, I would always be useless in her eyes, the reason my father abandoned her.

   Well, not father, but rather: "a guy who took my mother." And my mother, she wasn't a mother, but "a woman gave birth to me because she didn't know how to navigate this beautiful country called Brazil."

   Life was hard. My mother was poor, very poor, so I ate lamen for breakfast, lamen for lunch, lamen with bread, and at night eggs with lamen. Worse, she was poor, but not so poor that she couldn't buy beans and rice. One of the reasons I didn't consider her my mother was because she bought beer instead of food. How was she liver she was still fine, I didn't know.

   Once, I decided to hide money to try to buy decent food, but she found out and beat me to the point of disfigurement my nose.

I remember clearly...

"You stupid bitch! She could only have taken after her father's damn genetics! That bastard. Hiding money from me? Do you think you're smarter than me? Fuck!!

"a-but mom, it's not my fault. You always use the money to buy beer instead of foo-"

Pew*

  Sounds of breaking bottle videos*

   At 12 years old. My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and my custody ended up going to my aunt, who also didn't treat me well because she didn't have a good childhood relationship with my mother. At least she was better than her mother, despite being equally frustrated sexually and in relationships.

   However, as much as I didn't like my aunt, she treated me relatively well, albeit with contempt, and my uncle gave me sweets.

   Well, a few years later I discovered that my uncle wanted "something more" from me in exchange for sweets. My opinion of him went down the drain when I found out about this. 

   When I became an adult, my uncles stopped providing me with anything. I had to work hard. Someone who had no talents, and no resources to develop at least skills With effort, he simply had a life that was worthless in the eyes of society. 

   When your mind finally becomes an adult and you mature, you have a colder view of things - everything loses its magic. You get more bored. Everything becomes boring and cruel. You finally realize the truth behind the world of how insignificant you are and how much every living thing in this world - even the microbes -They are fighting a desperate fight to survive, even though the end is inevitable, and everything will be in vain. Obviously, you just don't give up on this dubious race because you're afraid of what you see after.

    A god who all the love and affection wanted someone to go to hell? Contradictory, therefore this god does not exist.  Pfff, It was funny the thought process of people who thought like that. How many dictators are there in the world who are insane? How many of them don't like to play with people's minds and alienate them?

   Someone once told me that the most fun game is controlling a person until they stop thinking. This person was my boyfriend. He saw me more as a useful pet that gave moments of pleasure. A simple sexual object. How do I know this? He left me for a better option as soon as he got the chance. Despite that, I learned a lot of things from him, so I'm a little grateful. Interestingly, I still liked him, but also hated it at the same time. It may seem contradictory for some people to love and hate someone at the same time, but obviously, it is impossible to just have a single feeling for someone. 

   For example, I love some memories my ex gave me, but I hate others. I love some of their qualities, but I hate their character. I hate what he did to me.

   But it's life. She passed, and I sank even deeper. What was once just low self-esteem turned into something p Worse.

   When I observed everyone around me, I realized that I had no talent, that I was mediocre in every way. I realized that even if I tried really hard, I still wouldn't reach the level of those who they had natural talent. If I wanted to perform above average, I would have to try twice as hard. And because I was malnourished as a child, I was destined to not be much of anything thanks to brain damage in the brain.

    But why do some humans want so much to be talented at something? Well, in evolutionary response, talent means more importance in a given society, More importance means more protection and an already hierarchical mother position. Our ancestors obviously wanted the useful ones more than the uniteus ones. Only the tallest survived. 

    With the ability to think, humans began to name skills and why some can do it and others can't, why some have it easier and others don't. If we observe, those who They really are above average, they don't compare much with others, they are more humble, especially because they are already at the top. The mediocre, on the other hand, tend to fall into illusions and try to diminish others, as they have no intelligence to realize that there is no point in how much they diminish others, their importance in a society would not increase and they continued the same shit.

    This shows that everything is essentially unequal, even death, as some live longer, others less. People are not the same, they have different abilities, and some have more useful skills and, portable, have more value in your life. 

    If someone thinks that the value of life is equal, then they are a nilist. After all, it's the same thing as saying that all lives are worthless. 

   Obviously, the city an intellectual and scientist is worth more than an ordinary citizen, the life of a leader is worth more than that of a single subject, And a human's life would be worth more than a dog's. Because they are more useful in society. 

   Basically, my life wasn't worth much, to say the least. I was intrigued by this. At twenty years old, I was walking down the street while thinking about my life. I was stunned.

   I looked at the sky.

"Am I seeing things?!"

   A bright light in the sky. It appeared to be a ship.

   I rubbed my eyes and looked again. Contrary to what I thought I wouldn't see again, the ship seemed to be getting closer and closer.

"Ahhh!"

   I screamed as she approached at an alarming speed, I didn't even have time to think when she hit my head, exploding it with enchantment and destroying my body. I died bitter.

....

Hmmm

   Wait, am I still alive?!

   Honestly, I didn't believe in life after death. I was probably very drunk and ended up having a hallucination, or it was just a dream. However....

   Why can't I see anything?!

   I felt nothing, saw nothing and heard nothing. 

   Does he really die? Impossible. So how can I think?

    I started to feel a sensation of Spain, and suddenly, I felt my body again. I could see what was around.

    A being looked at me. It was a ball of light.

"hello."

   I was shoked,and now I found something that could be one. 

   I tried to analyze the situation calmly.

"Hello. What happened?"

"I'm basically a God. I'm bored, you know?"

   I was a little anxious and scared. I always thought that there probably was a God , he was a sick mind.

Now, I was in front of a... Or... Is he lying? Could he be the devil?

"I'm not the devil."

   Can he read my mind?!

"Yes."

   I tried to calm down. I looked at him. I tried to analyze the situation, but I just didn't know what to do... 

"Stay calm. I'm just bored and I'll send Lara to my main dimension to see what happened even though I'm god , I am only omniscient in the present. I can't see the future. 

   I began to reanimate the information presented. He was a god, he had summoned me here because he was bored and was going to send me to a world.

   I decided to ask about the world, assuming what he said was true.

"What will the world you send me look like?"

   He responded quickly.

"A world of magic, basically. But with some modifications, of course."

  I raised an eyebrow. "Which?"

"It wouldn't be funny if I spoke here. Adios. Hahaha."

   I was amazed. I looked at him and said "what?!"

    I lost consciousness.