I can feel my soul slipping into the Abyss. No matter how many times I go through this process, each time feel like I am being suffocated. Then, it’s as if I am traveling, swiftly through colossal waves. 

  After the chaos, I am embodied in empty, vast, waters. It is equal parts terrifying and peaceful. Also, quiet. So silent that it sends a roaring vibration throughout my body. No matter how hard I try, I cannot move or speak. I just have to wait for that light to appear. Then, I am born. As a baby with a loving family, I hope. 

  You are probably wondering how that works. As far as I can tell, my soul remembers everything, not the body or mind I was born with. For instance, my soul can remember how to read and write, but physically, I have to learn just like every other child.  I also like to pretend I am not some deranged kid who claims they have time traveled far across time. 

  Although, it would be a tad humorous to see the look on people's faces if I came out fully verbal; walking around just like everyone else.

  So, I live a lie, and no one will ever know who I truly am. It is extremely difficult for me at times. Many of my “parents” have seemed so kind, it is almost as if I can tell them everything. Especially in my moments of weakness. Even if they did somehow believe me, what could they possibly do that I haven’t already tried? That is why I do not question anything anymore.

  If I am to live through this suffering, the least the universe could do is let me pick my own life. Unfortunately, I do not get that choice. I must have the worst luck to ever exist because I have never been able to choose anything for myself. Everything is planned out beforehand, by whoever or whatever is the creator of all. If they even exist. 

  I can’t even begin to explain in words the pain that has been brought upon me in my past lives. Let us hope I am blessed with a wonderful next life. I would die all over again just to have caring parents who fulfill my life. Endless food, water, and protection. With two guardians who take special care of you, as intended, it makes the childhood part so much easier. 

  The only place that has ever truly felt like home was the 1900’s. I don’t just mean that because of my Darla, but I found amenities in the entire environment. How people would treat one another was a lovely thing to come across. At least, from the part of the world I was residing in. 

  Don’t get me wrong, they had horrible things as well. Just like every Era I’ve been in. Such as War, rape, murders, kidnappers, poverty, and many more from that. But the good things always welcomed comfort within me.

  There it is again, that tingling sensation whilst my body forms into my new self. Just a bit smaller than before; a baby. I wonder who I will become. I hope not an orphan, I was a few times before. One of the worst experiences ever. 

  I wish I could speed up this longing process. If I could come back as a teen or adult, or even an elder, maybe I wouldn’t have much to complain about. Instead, my entire body and mind activate some sort of factory reset. 

  Typically, when I feel I am about to descend into the light, I like to hold my breath. Only for a few minutes. So that I can feel some sort of control over myself. A calmness that nothing else could ever provide. In these last moments, memories of my past life I’ve lived flash before my life. Only the ones from the life I lived most recently before this. Whether good or bad, I always watch it as if I’ve never experienced it. It’s similar to a movie. 

  The light is nearing, I can almost touch it. As bright as a star you see with the naked eye; in a room of complete darkness. It stares back at me, forming a tunnel inside this sea of calm dullness. 

  At this time, I am a little babe, curious about the luminosity. Right before the tip of my small finger can graze the heavenly light before me, I close my eyes and ascend. To my new reality. 

  “WAHH!” My body cried out whilst being pulled from my mother’s womb. 

  “Tis a girl, Milady!” The woman who delivered me cradles me in her arms. Her face filled with delight as she took a shine to my features. 

  She greets me with a warm smile and then hands me over to my mother. My mother, a beautiful woman with long and luscious hair, has tears in her eyes that fall graciously down her cheeks. Despite the elegance that she exudes, she's a bit sweaty now. I can understand her condition, as I am familiar with the overwhelming pain that women have to endure during labor.

  “Welcome to the world, my charming little girl.” She whispers and holds me close against her chest. Her eyes sparkled with fascination of me. 

  “I will send for Lord John, Madame! Bless the heavens for this angel!” The woman who delivered me shouted with glee as she fled for the door. Her voice echoed through the room and slowly disappeared into the hallway. 

     As my mother leaned in close, her gentle fingers traced a path along my face and through my hair. Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper, as she spoke sweet words that seemed to fill my heart. I could feel the warmth of her breath as she said, "You are a gift, my darling child. A treasure beyond measure." In that moment, I knew that this memory would stay forever. I know I've felt this before but there's something different about her. Something I can't quite explain. 

      I can feel her heart against my arm, racing. She struggled to catch her breath but still found a way to speak to me. I listened intently to each one of her soft-spoken words. She says I am an angel, but it feels as though I am being held by one. 

     The door opened hastily, and I heard a low gasp. Could it be this, ‘Lord John’? I couldn’t see from where I was, but I could hear heavy footsteps inching closer towards me and my Mother. I saw her face peek up at whoever it was. Her face beamed with joy. 

    “My husband, come and turn your gaze upon her. She is perfect in all ways possible.” 

        So, he is my Father. Immediately after she spoke to this man, I felt strong but gentle hands lift me and turn me to face him. He is handsome, with a face fitting for my mother. He smiled happily as he examined my features.

  “The firstborn, sharer of my blood, my greatest treasure. From this day on, I vow to protect you until the day I perish. My daughter, Princess Elodie of Vellordiah”. 

  Princess?! Well, that hasn’t happened before. What part of the world? What era am I in? How far back did I go? Before I could further question anything, he lifted me into the air and then held me close once again. He walked back over to my Mother and sat next to her in the bed. They both looked at me, cherishing this moment together. 

  “She is entirely perfect, my Darling. You did wonderful work. She has your beauty; fair and exquisite.” He turns to glance at Mother and then back at me. He smiles from cheek to cheek, his eyebrows furrowing. 

  “I couldn’t have done it without my nurturing lover, our King.” They truly love one another. 

  I can see it in the way they gaze into each other’s eyes. They began kissing passionately. I closed my eyes, feeling a bit uncomfortable since they were my parents. I may have made a face, as they laughed when they looked back at me. 

  “Oh! I presume she wasn’t too pleased by our actions!” My Father says with a grin as he laughs with Mother. 

  “I suppose not darling, we should be mindful of her thoughts as well as our own!” She giggled and smiled at me. I wish I could laugh with them, but my body hasn’t discovered that yet. 

  After Mother and Father spent some alone time with me, they permitted people of the palace to visit. People came into the room one by one. None familiar except for the nice maid from earlier. 

  Each one congratulates my Mother and Father on their firstborn child. So many questions ran through my mind but they were meaningless; I cannot speak. I will just have to force these curiosities into the rest of my thoughts. I must remind myself that time will tell. 

  Everyone celebrated together for a while before fleeing the room so my Mother could rest. Soon, I will follow suit, I can feel how tired my body is becoming already. I gaze up at my mother and admire her beauty. Her lashes flinched slightly as she lay there in deep sleep. Her breathing is steady now. Steady as the waves when the moon has disappeared from view. 

  I jumped slightly and back to reality when gentle hands cupped my feeble body. The maid from earlier faced me towards her while swaying with me in her arms. 

  “Hello, little one, I am Rosalba. Your parent’s most trusted friend. I take care of the castle amongst other things, and now I will also take care of you. Angioletto mio, Ti voglio bene”. Her words brought emotion and sincerity when spoken. 

  She placed me gently in the crib to rest. As I begin to rest my eyes a figure appears in front of me. My Father. He bends down to hover over me, just a few inches from my face. Out of instinct, I lift my hand to touch his beard. This body is a curious one indeed. He traces my face with his finger softly and speaks in a low harmonious voice. 

  “My little dove. I already feel so lucky to have you. Your mother and I will fill you with love and happiness, as well as food.” He chuckled lightly before continuing, 

“I love you. Get some rest. You’ve earned it.” 

  His voice was so low it echoed within my ears and vibrated throughout my body. I must admit, I am growing…weary. I can barely maintain consciousness as my eyes linger closed longer than the last…I suppose a small nap…wouldn’t hurt…