With my pajamas on, I headed to my room.
I felt an emptiness with each step I climbed, both happy and sad memories ran through me; it was atrocious, as if she were the only one left behind.
I entered the room and snuggled up next to Tira who was lying asleep.
⸎
⸎
“Thanks again, Yuta.”
“It's nothing, because of you my closets are full, haha. I'm going to go rest, enjoy your new home.”
“See you around. Do you like it? Nugu?”
I heard someone, but I didn't listen to them.
“Nugu?” I was amazed by the landscape, it was the house I lived in with my parents. “Ara ra. Are you that surprised? And?”
“What?” I asked confused.
“Weren't you the one who said you couldn't stand my house?”
“Was it like that?… I'm sorry…”
“Don't apologize, this is proof of our friendship.” She entered my plane of vision to catch my attention. “Are you listening to me? You're distracted today, huh.”
“I'm sorry…”
“From today you are the owner, so don't fall asleep, okay? My beautiful companion.” With her index finger she poked my cheek.
“Yes, I'm sorry…”
“How many times do you plan to apologize? It's a bad habit, you should change it.”
“Is it wrong to ask for forgiveness?”
“No, but… the day will come when you understand, for the moment it's fine the way you are.”
⸎
Someone was passing their hand in front of me. It was Mugon, she showed her notebook asking me if I was okay.
“Yes, I'm sorry…”
«Pay attention»
As if she had been the second fastest in my life, she served a pizza on a plate.
«Did you see how easy? I don't know a human who doesn't like it.»
⸎
“Ara ra. What's up, Nugu? Have you fallen in love with our bodies? Hehe.
The three of us were naked in the bathtub, me between them.
Despite being girls, Mugon hid her body.
“What's wrong, Mugon? You hide something? Hehe.” Foret hit my head with her breasts, and groped hers.
Mugon agitatedly splashed the water and, in the process of stopping it, touched mine; upon seeing her, Foret changed her objective.
I swore I would never shower next to her again.
⸎
At another event held, Mugon and I were trying sweets. Foret approached us coming out of a nearby shop.
“Hehe, I have a surprise. Closed your eyes and extended your hands.”
When we opened them, we saw that she gave us a strap for the strange device they gave us.
“What do you think? The three of us go together: Mugon's is a notebook that will capture our experiences; Nugu is the pen that will write history; and last but not least, I will be the ink that every good pen needs. Don't you think it's romantic? Hehe.”
I didn't really know why, but I was happy for this gift that brought us closer and closer.
⸎
Foret and I rested in bed, she hugged me, playing with my hair. Compared to other times, her touching was clumsy, she felt like she wanted to convey something, but she didn't have the courage.
To this day I regret staying silent; I remembered how useless it was.
⸎
“Mugon, get to the other side, quickly!”
They cornered me, I remember how weak and ashamed I was that day; my ears drooped.
“Look at the camera! Let's catch this opportunity, this cute Nugu is not seen every day!” Foret took a photo of us.
⸎
“Tachan!” Foret surprised, entering with an embarrassed Mugon and Ramia and Tira into the room.
“Hey! Why did you all come? And those ears?” I asked sitting on the bed when I saw them with cat ears.
“Cat party!” they exclaimed, posing strangely as if they were felines.
“Happy birthday, Nugu!” Ramia revealed with the rest. “Today you can hug me as much as you want,” she offered, approaching.
“Who would hug you!? Get away!” I said moving her face away from her with my foot.
She fell with a face of unpleasant satisfaction, the others laughed as they approached.
«Tira was the one who suggested the idea. She thought it would make you happy»
“Tira… Thank you!” I thanked her, almost crying because of how thoughtful she was.
“I'm glad you like it, although that won't be all,” she mentioned, covering her mouth and making a peace sign.
“Why does only Foret have a tail?” I asked when in doubt.
“I only had one. Although I already have two.” Tira showed her jeweled tail.
“I wanted one too…” Ramia confessed after standing up and grabbing her tail. “What part of the clothing is it caught on? Is it a belt?” She inquired, pulling her.
“Don't be so rude, Ramia!” Foret exalted. “Will break if you stretch that much, hehe…”
Mugon's gaze stared at her in astonishment.
“You scared me, I thought I broke it. If she knew how it worked, she could replicate it for us, even if it doesn't last as long.”
Mugon, for some reason, refused; she grabbed Foret's shoulders and took her away from her, when they returned she no longer had her tail.
⸎
“Nugu, if you had a partner, what would you want it to be like?” She asked, embroidering clothes.
“I don't know…” I answered, sewing the orange belly of a stuffed penguin.
“Think about it a little, come on.”
“Someone like Mugon?…” I mentioned the one I respected the most.
“Wouldn't you like someone like me?”
I stayed looking at her; she pointed her finger at her temple.
“No.”
“Ara ra. Don't you like perfect girls?” She boasted as if it were true.
“Perfect? In what?” I looked at her for a few seconds and continued with my pin.
“Ara ra, I feel sore.”
⸎
I remember getting out of bed looking for her.
I looked through the rooms, then went down to the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room and the dining room.
Preoccupied with a strange feeling, I sat on the bed in my room.
I was staring into an atrocious silence, something was not right.
On the desk I saw a note next to an envelope that said:
«For my beautiful Nugu»
I approached, took it and read it:
«I'm sorry… It's not like me to apologize, hehe… I don't even know how to start… For various reasons, I decided to reincarnate.
Don't think it was your fault, I was happy with you. I may regret this decision… But I know you will be fine, during these years I know how much you have grown. Plus, you have Mugon and company, trust them, okay?
Along with the note I left an envelope explaining the reason in detail. But don't open it, I would like you to do so when you accumulate more experience being a goddess. I trust that one day we will see each other again.
A kiss and with love, Foret»
Ignoring the warning, I opened it; It had translucent parts as if it were wet.
«My beloved Nugu:
How many years has it been since you read my note? A century? Hehe. Despite what I said, I couldn't hold back my tears… The more I write, the less I want to leave… Old Nugu sure was much stronger than me, I would like to see how much you have grown.
Right now you are behind me sleeping peacefully, I can't stop imagining your future, or what we would have experienced if I hadn't left…
The truth is that I was planning to start a family before you came into my life; maybe seeing you made that feeling stronger. You made me so happy that I couldn't help my desire to reincarnate with him and create a family.
How are you? I hope you happy. And Mugon? Did she meet him again? That love fortune teller doesn't usually fail despite how inconcise she is, hehe. You live with someone? Have you found a partner? I would like to hear your experiences.
How about Ramia? I also hope that she is being happy.
Reincarnating and forgetting memories is so unfair… I would like to see your dream come true. Are you making everyone happy? Well, I don't want to bother you anymore. Before I leave I'll give you a kiss on the cheek, I hope I don't wake you up, hehe.
Thank you very much for having lived with me, thank you very much for everything, Nugu»
When I finished, I left it in its place.
“Wasn't the happiness I gave you enough…” I fell to my knees, my legs trembling. “Weren't you the one who said that my presence was enough to make others happy!?”
Without strength and with a sore chest, I closed my eyes, but that did not stop my tears:
“I hate love!… If it's so wonderful, why is it so painful!?… What's right about it!?”
⸎
The days passed kneeling on the floor clinging to the sheets, until someone rang the doorbell.
I was in no condition for visitors, so I ignored him.
He kept knocking even though no one was receiving it, I thought he was being annoying.
Tired, I closed my eyes in an attempt to sleep.
“Why… don't you open?
⸎
⸎
I woke up alone in bed.
…—It would be nice if they were happy, right?— I remembered; I was lying, I was afraid of love, everyone left me behind for him.
I got up and did my routine.
Tira was sitting eating breakfast; I sat next to her to drink my glass of milk. Breakfast passed without an exchange of words.
After finishing, the doorbell rang and I headed to the door. It was Ramia, when she opened, she hugged me and caressed my hair.
“Nugu! You look very pretty today too! How are you?”
“…”
She looked at Tira who was shaking her head and stood up.
“I'm sorry… I'll be back tomorrow,” she apologized and left.
