Chapter notes: Yuri kitsune schoolgirl TG. Sexual content and genderfeels.

You end up using Ha-chan as a lap pillow, too.

It seems like a very intimate thing to do with someone you met just a couple of days ago. You're pretty sure she will lose interest in you soon, once she realizes how strange you are. But she was the one who offered it, and it seemed like she actually wanted to provide this care for you.

Caring for others by doing difficult things that they can't comes naturally to you. Running uphill at night to the school building, while naked, just seemed like the most logical and efficient way to do what was needed. Even though you assumed that Ha-chan had no real interest in you as a person, and just wanted to beat you at Warframe.

(You haven't played it enough yet for it to sink in that it isn't that kind of game.)

Being taken care of by someone who asks for nothing in return ... it brings back flashes of memory, of the time that you spent on all fours. Always being confused by the other foxes. Never quite understanding why they behaved affectionately towards you. You still don't understand what they wanted from you.

Maybe Ha-chan is like you, and automatically drops what she's doing to provide whatever is needed.

Or maybe she's like you, in that she really REALLY likes cute girls.

Wait, what? Kamiko-née?

...

That's not funny, you think.

Yes, it is ~

"Aw, you're so cute when you blush like that!" Ha-chan stops brushing your hair to admire you.

That makes you blush even more, and cover your face.

People have tried to get a rise out of you before, or get you to admit that you liked something. You've always been instinctively defensive, because they never just wanted that admission. They wanted to use it to prove something about you, that you didn't know how to argue with.

Did you laugh at a funny scene in a movie? It means that deep down, you're just like them.

Did you blush when a cute girl complimented you? It means you're the heterosexual boy that they raised you to be.

It confused and upset you, for reasons that you didn't understand.

You understand yourself a bit better, now. You know why these things got to you.

You're just having trouble accepting yourself as a lesbian, because that means you're a girl who likes other girls in that way. And that is scary on so many levels.

In some ways, it's scarier than trying to talk your big sister down from killing herself.

I concur.

See? Tamamo-née even agrees with you on that.

But like,

It's just

Girls are so

They're- oh my goddess

OH MY FUCKING GODDESS

You squeeze yourself tight, as the deep and unmistakable revelation of what it means to be lesbian floods your brain.

And your panties.

You can't fight it. You can only ride it out, squeezing your eyes shut and shivering, enduring it as best you can.

It's almost as embarrassing as when you came in the back seat of the car, when you were middle-school-aged.

(In your defence, you had been trying to withstand it all day. And the road was quite bumpy.)

... okay, maybe it's more embarrassing. Because this time you did it while your head was in another girl's lap. And you were thinking about that the whole time.

"Oh my gosh." Ha-chan giggles. "You're, um, really enjoying yourself, aren't you?"

You don't think there's a right answer to that question.

You sit up, mortified and looking away from Ha-chan. "Sorry," you say.

"Oh, no no no, it's okay! I just didn't expect it, is all. I-I wasn't even sure you liked girls."

She couldn't tell? you ask yourself.

Even with everything that happened the last couple days, you still figured it out before she did.

You are beginning to understand why someone would want confirmation that you feel a certain way.

Perhaps it would help to be more direct, you think.

"I do," you say, and fold your arms and squirm. "A-and I like you in particular."

You manage a quick glance over at her shocked face, when you say that.

"I just have no idea what to do," you say, and start speaking quickly while looking down at your skirt. "Everyone told me these feelings mean I'm a guy and I'll want to hurt women. They told me that everyone does it, and that I would too. They told me that women like it, even if they say no. And I didn't know how to argue with them, so I got so afraid of myself, and it made me think I couldn't really be trans because then I'd like guys, wouldn't I? And I'd want them to hurt me. But then I-"

"Ai-chan?"

"Huh?" You look over to face her-

-just in time for her to take your head in both hands, and kiss you softly on the lips.

Your heart is still pounding hard when she lets go.

"I'll let you wash up," she says, packing her bento, "and we can finish lunch in our classroom. Okay?" Ha-chan gives you a nervous smile.

"Yes," you whisper, and pull your tail over your lap.

It's as poofy as a pipe cleaner.