Chapter 6  ~ Cripples, Bastards and Broken things ~

I met father at the bottom of the Tower of the Hand, he raised an eyebrow at my attire but thought better then to mention my fighting clothes that were covered in sand, thanks to Jaime finding it entertaining to continually get me to the ground. 

 

"Practicing, with Jaime" I told him as I blew air my knuckles that were grazed from the punch I had landed on Jaime, he was sporting a rather nice red spot on his cheek "what's this?" I asked as I pulled an old book from his hands "The lineages and histories of the great houses of the Seven Kingdoms, a boring read but to each their own" I mumbled handing it back as we made our way up to his solar, we made it to the landing where we found Arya standing on one foot at the top of the stairs. 

 

"Syrio says a water dancer can stand on one toe for hours" Arya told us as she wobbled on her foot for a moment but kept her balance, making me smile at her. 

 

"It's a hard fall down these steps" I commented as father went closer to her, if she fell father would catch her. 

 

Arya placed her foot down and spoke in awe about her Dancing Master "Syrio says every hurt is a lesson and every lesson makes you better" her eyes met mine and she grinned  "Tomorrow I'm going to be chasing cats" I laughed, recalling my lessons with Syrio. 

 

"Cats?" Father asked me, over his shoulder, I shrugged with a smirk. 

 

"Syrio says..." I replied with a chuckle, father joined in for a moment before Arya spoke once more. 

 

"He says every swordsman should study cats" she stated proudly "They're quiet as shadows and as light as feathers" she grinned. 

 

"You have to be quick to catch them" I told her, touching the small scar I had on the back of my hand from where I was attacked by a very large ginger cat. 

 

"He's right about that," father muttered, stroking his chin thoughtfully. 

 

"Now that Bran's awake will he come live with us?" She asked, I moved past father gently and touched the dirt that was smudged on her forehead. 

 

"He needs to get his strength back first," I told her and she nodded in understanding, the thought of my brother not coming to the Capital was hard to think about, he'd been so excited about the trip. 

 

"He wants to be a knight of the King's Guard. He can't be one now, can he?" She asked us, I folded her into my arms as we sank down on the harsh steps and father came closer to us with a frown on his face. 

 

"No. But someday he could be Lord of a holdfast or sit on the King's Council. Or he might raise castles like Brandon the Builder," father told her making her grin. 

 

"Can I be Lord of a holdfast?" She asked excitedly causing father and me to chuckle at her, I used to think the same way when I was her age.

 

"You will marry a high Lord and rule his castle. And your sons shall be knights and princes and lords" father told her and I sighed loudly shaking my head, he didn't comprehend that Arya is not Sansa. 

 

"No, " she told him with a shake of her head "That's not me" she got back up and went back to standing on one foot while father and I went into his solar. 

 

"You can control armies, fight wars, hatch excellent battle plans but when it comes to Arya and Sansa you are hopeless," I told him with a chuckle as I took a seat in one of the two seats that faced his writing desk. 

 

"You were easier to help," he told me truthfully causing me to roll my eyes at him, he wasn't wrong, I did as I was bid, I helped mother with everything and when I wanted to learn to fight I wrote to the biggest houses in Braavos and Dorne asking if they could help me learn, it was pure chance that Syrio was in Dorne and was willing and even more of a chance that the Prince of Dorne was more then happy to house me.

 

"I am self-sufficient and headstrong, Arya is just the same but she lacks the resources that I have" I leant back in my chair with a deep sigh and met fathers eyes "I also didn't have people telling me to be like my older sister" which was also very true, as the oldest of the Stark children I was given more responsibility when the others came along. 

 

"You have a point there" he mumbled as he rubbed his hands over his face "is the Kingslayer participating the Hands Tournament?" he asked and I bristled at the name. 

 

"Don't call him that and yes he is" I narrowed my eyes at father and chuckled when he rolled his eyes in reply, "rolling your eyes is rude father" I told him with a giggle as he once again rolled his eyes. 

 

"You sounded like your mother" he chuckled and I laughed harder "gods when you were born she was so scared because you were so small" he closed his eyes at the memory and a smile that was rarely seen graced his lips, this was the smile he reserved only for mother "every small noise you made she would think something was wrong, and when you went to Dorne she was inconsolable until you sent her a raven" he shook his head and I chuckled awkwardly, I knew mother and I were close, extremely close but I didn't know she was that bad when I left. 

 

"She knew I had to go, even with Dorne being so far away I was safer there then I am here" I shrugged and straighten my back "I just came to check that you're actually eating enough, I worry" his eyes met mine and they softened even more. 

 

"Don't you worry about me, Jory already said you'd ordered him to make sure I'm protected at all times" I shrugged again, Jory had nodded and said that he'd protect him with his life, I hated that but if father was safe then I could sleep easier at night. 

 

"Well maybe I should order him to force feed you when you're being stubborn" I muttered with a fake glare, Northern men were hardheaded brutes and Stark men were no exemption.

 

"You don't need to go that far" he grumbled, I stood up and walked around his desk and kissed his cheek and he wrapped me up in a hug, "you're being careful, aren't you?" We locked eyes again and I laughed. 

 

"I am always careful" 

 

—————

 

I headed towards the Kings chambers with a small basket of food for Jamie and dodged a whore who was running towards me, rolling my eyes I heard Jaime's voice and then Jory's voice, Jaime sounded angry and Jory just sounds like he wanted to leave, there was also giggling and the Kings laugh echoed down the hallway, as I rounded the corner I found Jaime alone glaring down at his feet. 

 

"I wish you wouldn't do like that" I told him, as I placed the basket on one of the window sills, I placed my hand on his chest and cringed when I heard the King say something about a whores tits, "I also wish he wouldn't do that" I reached up and ran my fingers through his blonde locks of hair "I brought you something to eat" he went to say something but I put my fingers to his lips to quiet him "I know, I know, with the tournament coming up you're too busy but you need to eat, you didn't break fast this morning" he kissed my fingertips. 

 

"How do you know I didn't break fast? You were asleep" he bit the pads of my fingers before pulling me closer to his body. 

 

I pulled him down to kiss his lips and then moved away from him, "The maids tell me" I shrugged and removed one of his favourite foods "and if it wasn't for you keeping me up I would've been awake to eat with you" I narrowed my eyes at him and he laughed. 

 

"You loved every moment" he replied with a cheeky grin, the kings door opened again and another whore came out, when she saw us she blushed at us and walked away quickly, her dress barely covered her body but she definitely didn’t care.

 

“I shall not comment on that Ser Jaime, as I am a lady” I said, choosing to ignore what was going on behind the door, Jaime decided the same thing because he focused on the basket with extreme interest, he was definitely hungry “do you know who will be relieving you?” I asked as I handed him a small silver plate that had a cut of meat and cheeses on it. 

 

“Ser Barristan should be here any moment” Jaime mumbled as he took a bite of the food and closed his eyes as he relished the taste of the lightly salted meat, he met my eyes and smiled shyly as I reached up and snagged a piece of cheese.

 

“Fantastic, I haven’t seen him in many days and I’ve been wondering where he’d been” I popped the cheese in my mouth and sighed at its sharp taste, we snacked in silence as the King continued his escapades behind his closed door, whores would occasionally leave and by the time the last of them had gone Ser Barristan rounded the corner, essentially dismissing Jaime but not before kissing my hand gently in greeting. 

 

—————

 

I gathered the skirts of my armoured dress and left my bedchamber, Jaime had left early in the morn for the Hands Tournament so Renly had come to escort me to the tournament grounds to watch, “Lady Anaris as usual you make the sun on the sea look mediocre” Renly said with a smile that made me blush and giggle, I whacked his chest lightly. 

 

“Quiet you” I said making him chuckle, “I’ve told you so many times to call me Anaris” he linked my arm with his and lead us away from my chambers “how goes your friend Ser Loras? I heard he was entered in the Tournament” I glanced at him and saw he paled, I knew that he and Ser Loras were secretly together, men laying with men was frowned upon but men laying with young girls wasn’t which always confused me greatly, “I was just asking if he was feeling nervous, I heard the Mountain is also competing”

 

He nodded, he understood my hidden meaning, he knew I was actually asking how he and Loras were going, “from what he’d told me he is confident that he’ll win his joust today” he glanced at me and I grinned which made him smile in return “how was the Kingslayer?” He glanced at me when I tensed, I hated that name as much as Jaime did. 

 

“Jaime is also confident, as usual” I grinned hiding my anger and Renly patted my hand in silent apology “you know I will never say anything Renly” I muttered so only he could hear as we passed lords and ladies who were milling around. 

 

“I know,” he replied and sighed “you know I appreciate your support and friendship, my lady” we eyed Pyter Baelish who was watching us with interest. 

 

“That man is a snake in a rats body” I said making it very clear how much I distrusted Baelish, Renly chuckled and shook his head, “lord Renly, thank you for escorting me and for the lovely conversation,” I said politely as we came to my sisters and Septa Mordane, I curtsied and he bowed before taking my hand and kissing my knuckles gently. 

 

“The pleasure was mine, my lady, I look forward to having tea with you in the Gardens” he subtly winked at me and I nodded, when he left I turned to Sansa who was gawking at Renly. 

 

“He’s so handsome” she said dreamily as Arya fake gagged, Septa Mordane went to scold her when I beat her to it. 

 

“Arya don’t be rude about Lord Renly, he’s a dear friend” I tapped her forehead with the tip of my finger and gestured for us to go to our seats, I lead them to the front row, I adjusted my dress so it was easier to sit down and listened as the squire of the tourney listed who would be participating, my smile grew as Jaime’s name was read out and my stomach fluttered with nerves. 

 

From my periphery I saw Sansa turn her head to where Joffrey and his family sat, I glanced behind me and watched as Joffrey turned away from Sansa, I touched my sisters hand and smiled when she looked up at me “Lover's quarrel?” A man asked from behind us and I rolled my eyes at Petyr Baelish who was watching my sister with interest. 

“I'm sorry. Do I...?” She looked at me for help and I cleared my throat of the anger I had swelling inside me, I didn’t like how close he was to my sister and the way he was looking at her gave me the shivers. 

“Sansa dear, this is Lord Baelish” Septa Mordane said for me, she was also uncomfortable with Baelish being so close “He's known...”

“An old friend of the family,” Baelish said with a tiny smile that spoke of secrets that he longed to say “I've known your mother a long long time” I glared at him in disgust, he truly was a snake in a rats clothing. 

“Why do they call you Littlefinger?” Arya piped up from my other side, she was so blunt with her questions that it almost made me choke on my own spit. 

“Arya!” Sansa said, aghast that our younger sister was curious, to be honest I was curious myself but I wasn’t about to let Little Finger know that. 

“Don't be rude!” Septa Mordane scolded while I mumbled manners under my breath at Arya who just shrugged back at me. 

“No, it's quite all right,” Little Finger said to Mordane, the woman didn’t stop looking at Arya with contempt at her behaviour “When I was a child I was very small and I come from a little spit of lands called The Fingers, so you see, it's an exceedingly clever nickname” he told Arya who seemed satisfied with his answer, she sat back in her seat.

“I've been sitting here for days!” Robert yelled from his throne next to Cersei “Start the damn joust before I piss myself!” I glanced at Cersei to see her reaction but she had already gotten up and left.

“Gods,” Sansa mumbled, grabbing my hand tightly, “who is that?” I followed where she was looking and met the eyes of Gregor Clegane, Tywin Lannister’s lap dog and the man who murdered Elia Martel and her children, he gave me a sharp nod which told me that he knew who I was and who I had married, that thought didn’t make me feel better. 

“Ser Gregor Clegane” I told her “he is a Lannister guard” I whispered to her and Baelish poked his head between us again. 

 

“They call him the Mountain” Baelish said with a smirk “The Hound's older brother” I glanced at Baelish with distaste as he sounded very proud of himself. 

“And his opponent?” Sansa asked Baelish, I watched the Mountain’s opposition bow to Robert and recognised his shield, crescent moon with a falcon over a blue field which meant House Arryn of the Vale, sending a silent thanks to Maester Luwin for teaching me the sigils of the Great Houses I shifted my gaze to where I knew Jaime was getting ready with his squires. 

“Ser Hugh of the Vale. He was Jon Arryn's squire” Baelish told Sansa who I felt nod in acknowledgement.

 

“Look how far he's come” I commented, tearing my eyes away from the red tent in the distance, I watched the Mountain bow his large form to the King who was getting impatient. 

“Yes, yes. Enough of the bloody pomp. Have at it!” Robert shouted, sending a cheer up from the commoners side of the the field, Ser Hugh jumped onto his horse with the Mountain following him, they took their places at either end of the long field and waited for the Kings squire to blow the horn he was holding, in seconds of the signal both men spurred their horses on into a fast gallop and lowered their lances, at the first pass they both missed narrowly causing a collective gasp from the crowd at my back, when they met in the middle of the field the second time Ser Hugh’s luck had run out, the Mountain’s lance struck him in the neck, throwing him off his horse causing a massive splinter from the wooden pole to be imbedded into his throat, his body landed heavily in the sand right at our feet. 

 

Sansa grabbed my hand tightly while I held onto Arya to keep her from moving closer, we watched in silence as Ser Hugh struggled to breath, his blood gushing from both his wound and his mouth, when his last breath rattled out of his chest two squires moved forward and dragged him from the field, “Not what you were expecting?” Baelish broke our silence, another squire came out and raked the sand while the Mountain moved off the field “Has anyone ever told you the story of the Mountain and the Hound?” When Sansa shook her head he continued, I turned my head to glared at the smirking idiot while he told his little tale “Lovely little tale of brotherly love. The Hound was just a pup, six years old maybe. Gregor a few years older, already a big lad, already getting a bit of a reputation. Some lucky boys just born with a talent for violence. One evening... Gregor found his little brother playing with a toy by the fire... Gregor's toy, a wooden knight. Gregor never said a word, he just grabbed his brother by the scruff of his neck and shoved his face into the burning coals” Sansa turned her head to look over my shoulder towards where I knew where the Hound was standing, his burned face on full display “Held him there while the boy screamed, while his face melted. There aren't very many people who know that story” Baelish met my glare with a small smile. 

“I won't tell anyone. I promise.” Sansa told him, and I knew that he had her trust which was a stupid move on her part, it was time to have a discussion about why she shouldn’t trust anybody here. 

“No, please don't” Baelish said in mocking “If the Hound so much as heard you mention it, I'm afraid all the knights in King's Landing would not be able to save you” he glanced at me and I glared harder, the Hound wouldn’t touch my sister and neither would this little rat if I had anything to do with it.

 

—————

 

After a few more jousts, some ending with sword play it was Jaime’s turn, as soon as the squire said his name he entered the field with his usual smirk, he spotted me in the stands and came closer as the squire named his opponent, “Ser Culler Sarsfield of House Sarsfield” Ser Culler Sarsfield came onto the field and straddled his horse, his chin was jutted out so far it looked uncomfortable and from the corner of my eye I could see Arya trying to copy, Jaime appeared in front me on Glory and held his hand out for mine. 

 

I stood and accepted his hand gently to which he kissed it making Sansa sigh dreamily from next to me “my lady, I hope you would wear my token for good luck” he grinned at me and winked as he produced a beautiful silver lion necklace that would sit at the base of my throat, it’s eyes were made of rubies and the detail was so intricate that it looked almost real. 

 

“I would happily wear your token Ser Jaime, though I don’t think you will need any luck” I replied and glanced at his opponent who was waiting impatiently, I placed the necklace on and smiled at Jaime “I’ll see you when you win” he grinned and lead his horse to his side of the field, taking his lance from a squires hand he adjusted himself in his saddle and the joust began and was over in the blink of an eye, Jaime had unseated Ser Culler swiftly causing the other man to lay on the ground and taking in gulps of air, his chest plate dented by Jaime’s blow. I stood with Sansa and cheered for my husband as he bowed at King Robert stiffly and dismounted his stallion, “if you’ll excuse me, I have to go congratulate my husband,” I left the stands and made my way to his tent where Lweys was helping him out of his armour. 

 

“My lady” Lweys said quietly with a bow, I smiled at him and took over from removing Jaime’s chest plate “I’ll go polish these, my lord” he bowed again and gently took the chest plate pieces from my hands as Jaime turned and wrapped my body into his arms. 

 

“You smell of honeysuckle” he mumbled into my ear while he buried his face into my hair that was hanging low on my back, his lips connected with my neck and he traveled down to my shoulder blade that was exposed from my dress “I want to kiss every last bit of you” he bit down onto my shoulder lightly causing me to gasp and grab his forearms tightly and hummed in delight as he started to undo the ties of my dress, when he’d succeeded he scooped me up with ease and draped me over the small table, he clasped my wrists in one hand and held them above my head which made my breasts stand out more prominently, his mouth descended on one of my breasts and I gasped as heat travelled from where he was touching to between my legs, I tried desperately to get out of his hold but he was stronger so he kept me pinned to the harsh wooden surface of the table. 

 

“Jaime” I breathed causing him to stop, he lifted his head and his eyes met mine “please” I moaned as I tried to grind my lower half with his, desperately craving relief from the heat that pooled there. 

 

“I love it when you beg” he grinned, kissing my lips savagely he lifted the light skirts of my gown with one hand to expose my legs and the part of me that craved his touch “and when you gasp my name” he moved away from my mouth and the hand that had lifted my skirts touched me where I needed to be touched, a low whine left my mouth as he began to thrust his fingers into me “and how wet you get when I touch you,” I barely felt his tongue touch my new necklace as I quivered against him, my heart was galloping out of my chest and my legs shook as he curled his fingers inside me “and now everyone here knows you are mine and I am yours” he withdrew his fingers and in moments I felt his undo his britches and he was in me once more. 

 

“Yes” I gasped, drawing up my legs so I could curl them around his waist tightly as he began to thrust into me with abandon, he released my wrists and grabbed my hips with both hands so he could move into me more harshly, biting my lower lip so I wouldn’t cry out in pleasure I wound my arms around his shoulders and pulled his lips to mine so he could swallow my moans and I could stop him from groaning too loudly, the heat that blossomed in my abdomen began to spread and suddenly exploded sending shivers throughout my body “gods Jaime” his thrusts continued for a moment, getting harsher before he groaned into my neck and he slowed his body down to a stop after he was spent. 

 

He removed himself from me and righted my skirts gently before pulling my lips to his tenderly and he kissed me deeply “did I hurt you?” He asked as his fingers brushed a small hurt from where he’d bitten me, his worry caused me to laugh heartily. 

 

“We both know I can handle more then a small bite” I said with a grin as I fixed my dress and fastened it once more before kissing him again “thank you for the necklace, my lord” I giggled when he rolled his eyes and lightly tapped me on my bottom as I moved to the looking glass that was in the corner of the tent, I smoothed my hair and watched as he placed his britches back into place and came closer, his arms wrapped around my waist as he rested his hands on my flat stomach. 

 

“Oh I know, but I feel the need to ask, just in case” he kissed my hair gently and nuzzled his nose into my neck “now you smell of sex and honeysuckle” I felt him grin when I shook my head. 

 

I turned in his arms and brushed his hair back from his face, it was getting slightly longer “I wonder who made me smell of sex” I said in mock surprise “perhaps it was that good looking knight” I tapped my chin with my fingertip in thought “perhaps that lord?” I giggled when his hands turned to vices on my hips which meant he was getting ready to take me again, “definitely the good looking knight” I kissed him quickly and wiggled from his grip before leaving his tent, I breathed out a soothing breath and made my way back to the Keep, a skip in my step. 

 

“Anaris” I heard Cersei call from just down a corridor that I had walked past, I quickly stopped and headed towards her with a smile on my face. 

 

“My Queen” I said with a curtsy when I stopped in front of her, she answered my smile and held her arm out for me to loop mine through, her handmaidens looked irritated but I ignored them and kept my attention on Cersei “how are you feeling?” I asked in genuine concern, after she’d left the Tournament I was sorely tempted to follow her. 

 

“Oh nothing you need to worry about, Little Wolf” we continued down the long corridor until we reached her chambers and she looked to her handmaidens “leave us” the women curtsied and left quietly while I strode inside her chamber and pour her and myself glasses of Dornish wine, “how goes your relationship with my brother?” She asked as I turned and handed her the goblet.

 

I took a sip, deliberating my answer, as much I wanted to tell her everything, I couldn’t, especially knowing that they were once lovers “so far it’s been companionable, we get along quite well” I shrugged when she raised an eyebrow. 

 

“Are you doing your wifely duties?” She asked, she took a seat behind her writing desk and I felt like the small child I had been when we had met. 

 

“I’m sorry Cersei I would say something but as you’re his sister I feel the need to avoid your question” I looked away from her gaze and took another sip from my goblet.

 

“That’s the only answer I need” she said with a laugh “remember what I told you” I met her green eyes and for a moment I saw hatred, my stomach dropped. 

 

“Love no one but your children” I replied, it was a mantra that I had tried to repeat to myself over the years but as my siblings grew I found myself adoring them as my mother did, the love for my parents and what they held in each other also grew “I repeat it to myself before bed” I told her honestly, I also repeated the Starks words and the Tully’s words but she didn’t need to know that. 

 

“Good” she nodded and poured more wine into her goblet, “have you seen the Grand Maester?” She looked pointedly at my stomach which was tying itself in knots, Jaime and I had agreed to keep it hush hush and so far no one but the two of us, mother, Graycie and Ros knew that we weren’t going to have children for a while. 

 

“No offence to the Grand Maester but the moment I let Pycelle touch me is the moment I have truly lost my mind” I’d spoke to the man all of two times since coming to the Capital and both times he had made a veiled comment which made my skin crawl “I’m sure I will know when I become pregnant” I said with a shrug and Cersei laughed. 

 

“I have said the same thing Little Wolf, don’t you worry, you are not alone” I finished my second goblet of wine and placed it onto the table between us, she reached over it and grabbed my hand gently “if you need anything, I am more then happy to help,” she shot me a look that reminded me of my mother when she was scolding me, I smiled and squeezed her hand gently. 

 

“The same goes to you, My Queen, I am at your service” with that I stood, curtsied and left her to do whatever it was that she did when she was alone.

 

—————

 

The next day of the Tournament it wasn’t Renly Baratheon who met me outside of my chambers but my father “father, what a pleasant surprise” I said as I quickly close the door, Jaime was still in getting dressed and the last thing I needed was my father to see Jaime’s naked back with my nail marks on it.

 

“Wolfing, I’m here to escort you to the Tournament, Lord Renly has been asked to escort Princess Myrcella” I giggled at the thought of Renly, who was quite tall, escorting his niece, the image of him stooping down so they could link arms was one I would not be forgetting anytime soon. 

 

“Well I’m pleased that you have decided to join us” I linked my arm with him and we left before Jaime could open the door and say something crude to my father, I didn’t need him to be in a foul mood, “did you hear about Ser Hugh?” I asked as we quietly made our way out of the tower of the Kingsguard, I glanced at my father who nodded solemnly “it was ghastly” I shook my head to clear the memory of a large piece of wood lodged in Ser Hughs throat “poor man didn’t deserve to go like that”

 

“Ser Barristan stood vigil for him,” he told me as he patted my hand gently in a soothing manner “if you don’t mind a quick detour, Ser Barristan mentioned that King Robert wants to joust today” he gave me a sharp look when I almost doubled over with laughter “if you’re finished” he said with a sigh which caused me to laugh harder.

 

“Why does he want to joust, no man in their life would go up against him, he’s one of the most important men in the 7 kingdoms” I shook my head. 

 

We arrived outside of the Kings tent and father held the flap open for me to enter first, there in front of a looking glass was King Robert, his belly on full display as he was too big to get into it, while Lancel Lannister, Jaime’s cousin, was trying as hard as he could to get the clasps closed “It's made too small, Your Grace. It won't go” the boy who was only a nameday older then myself spoke timidly. 

 

“Your mother was a dumb whore with a fat ass” Robert growled back, I didn’t have to see Lancel’s face to know that the quip about his mother had hurt him deeply “Did you know that?” Lancel bowed his head slightly and Robert looked to both father and I “Look at this idiot!” He said to us, enjoying humiliating the boy “One ball and no brains. He can't even put a man's armour on him properly” Robert’s face was getting redder and redder with anger and I glanced at father who nodded his head to Roberts belly. 

 

“You're too fat for your armour,” father stated, his voice dispassionate, I knew how my father and his friend worked so it came to no surprise when I watched Robert’s eyes spark with amusement. 

 

“Fat?” Robert shouted causing Lancel to jump “Fat, is it? Is that how you speak to your King?” They stared at each other before they started to laugh, their little joke about Robert’s weight had been funny once, I put my hand over my face and shook my head slowly, I could understand why Jon Arryn had such a hard time raising these two, being as stubborn as they are “That was funny, is it?” Robert said, I peaked from behind my hand and saw Lancel’s face quickly lose its grin.  

 

“No, Your Grace,” Lancel stuttered out, he looked to me for help but there was little I could actually do with him in the tent, after he left perhaps I could talk to Robert but not while he was here. 

 

“No? You don't like the Hand's joke?” he asked Lancel who shrunk into his shoulders, his hands clutching one another nervously. 

 

“You're torturing the poor boy” I commented, which made Robert look to me and smirk slightly before he turned back to Lancel. 

 

“You heard the Hand. The King's too fat for his armour! Go find the breastplate stretcher” when Lancel was still for a moment in shock Robert raised his voice again “now!” Lancel jumped again and all but ran from the tent making Robert roar with laughter. 

 

“the breastplate stretcher?” Father asked with a raised eyebrow and a chuckle.

 

“How long before he figures it out?” Robert asked us, his laughter had died down slightly but he was still chuckling at his squire. 

 

“Longer then it should” I said with a shrug “maybe you should have one invented” I said with a giggle when Robert playfully glared at me. 

 

“All right, all right, just like your father” he shook his head and turned to father “But you watch me out there. I still know how to point a lance” he puff his chest out but all it did was make his belly more prominent. 

 

“You have no business jousting,” father gently reprimanded him, his concern was obvious and for a second Robert slumped “leave that for the young men”

 

“Why?” Robert said, indignantly “Because I'm king? Piss on that. I want to hit somebody!” He shouted, it was getting tiring so I pointed out the obvious. 

 

“And who's going to hit you back?” I said, I put my hands on my hips, same way I did when my siblings where doing something that would get not only them but myself in trouble. 

 

“Anybody who can” he said puffing his chest out making me laugh bitterly.

 

“And the last man in his saddle ... will be you!” I said shaking my head. 

 

“There's not a man in the Seven Kingdoms would risk hurting you” father said, Robert’s red face faded slightly but Robert wanted to do what he wanted to do. 

 

“Are you telling me those cowards would let me win?” Robert growled, the thought of people letting him win something was probably a blow to his ego.

 

“Aye”

 

Robert huffed and poured three goblets of wine, he handed me one and then he held the second out to my father “Drink” 

 

“I'm not thirsty,” father said, he wasn’t big on indulging in wine, he said he’d seen good men turn into fiends after a drop.  

 

“Drink,” he shoved the goblet into fathers hand “Your King commands it” when father took a sip Robert did as well before speaking “Gods! Too fat for my armour” shook his head as I sipped my own drink.

 

“Your squire ... a Lannister boy?” Father asked, he glanced at me for a moment and I raised my eyebrow in question, where was he going with this.

 

“Hmm... a bloody idiot... but Cersei insisted” Robert grumbled “I have Jon Arryn to thank for her. ‘Cersei Lannister will make a good match’, he told me. ‘You'll need her father on your side.’ I thought being King meant I could do whatever I wanted” he drained his goblet and slammed it onto the table “Enough of this! Let's go watch 'em ride. At least I can smell someone else's blood” Robert went to leave the tent but I stopped him.

 

“Robert?” I said, he and I had spoken at length about dropping his titles when it was just us, even though he was king he still was the man who put me onto his shoulder so I could pet his horse so I felt comfortable saying his name to his face. 

 

“What?” He asked, he turned to look at us and father pointed to his naked belly that he hadn’t covered up, Robert looked down and then burst out laughing “Oh! An inspiring sight for the people, eh? Come! Bow before your King! Bow, you shits!” He laughed louder and father and I left him to get dressed.