Chapter 49: Breaking Down
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"Hey, you outside." The unusually hoarse voice of the girl startled Aurelius, who was half-sitting and half-lying down right outside the guest room.

"What is it? Do you need something?" Aurelius asked as he got to his feet, his wounds aching from the sudden movement.

"No. I'm fine." The voice got lower. "But I feel bad making you stay outside. There's a chair in the room. How about you come inside?"

"Ah, are you sure?" Aurelius asked as his hand moved to the door handle.

"I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't."

Aurelius scratched his head as he opened the door and met eyes with the girl lying in bed. She had plump cheeks that seemed to get a little red when they stared at each other. Then Aurelius' gaze went to the bandaged on her neck, and he bit down on his lip as he closed the door and walked to the chair in the room.

"You know, when I heard Cade had a partner, I didn't expect you to be so..." the girl started, but trailed off.

Aurelius was about to ask her to continue out of curiosity but remembered his manners. "Ah, I'm Aurelius."

"I'm Elizabeth. But you can call me Betty... if you want. Or no. Elizabeth is fine. Betty's just a dumb nickname I got from..." Elizabeth sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm not good with... I don't want to talk about myself. I gave you a chair to sit on, so how about you tell me about yourself?"

Aurelius raised his brows. So it was that kind of trade. "Eh, I don't really know what to say. But you've known Cade for a long time, right? How about we talk about her?"

Elizabeth pouted slightly. "Well, I was with her in the orphanage, but I don't really know anything about her. She's a private person."

"Mmm, she's always been that way?"

"Yeah, even more so when we met. She didn't even speak. She just glared at you and probably expected you to understand. I don't know."

"You don't like her?" Aurelius asked, a hint of a smile on his lips.

"No, I adore her," Elizabeth gushed, holding her hands to her chest. "She's so strong and cool and brave, and... it's like she knows the world. Like she controls it. And whenever something happens, she makes it right, no matter what." There was a light in Elizabeth's round eyes as she said those words. She seemed to have complete trust in her.

"Yeah, and now she's out there to handle the one's that did this to you," Aurelius said, but came to regret opening his mouth as Elizabeth's expression felt. It seemed he had butchered the delivery of his words somehow.

"Did what to me?" Elizabeth asked, clutching the blanket over her.

"Ah, well, no, I..." Aurelius tried. "A— assaulted you. Gave you those bruises."

Elizabeth gave a weak chuckle and brought the blanket to her chest. "R— right."

Aurelius' eyes blanket. 'They didn't just assault her, did they?' His hands squeezed into fists. 'Those fucking filthy fu—'

"Don't look at me like that," Elizabeth said, her voice breaking.

Aurelius snapped out of it and put his hands on his face for a moment. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

He looked up at Elizabeth, and they sat there motionless and silent for a while before Elizabeth turned her head away and faced the lone window of the guest room. "You're strong, too, right?"

"What? Well, yeah, I guess. I'm not quite on Cade's level yet, but I think I'll be stronger than her before I'm 18," Aurelius answered, looking out of the window as well.

Elizabeth snorted. "So you're a genius among geniuses. I've always wondered how it feels like to be one of you."

"Huh? I didn't say—"

"You can go through life without worrying about your safety and get everything for free. You never have to experience what it feels like to be wary of incoherent people in the streets. You don't have to deal with mundane issues, nor do you even have to look people in the eye. You can live all your life without caring about anyone and just trample on everyone."

"That's not true." Aurelius shifted his gaze to Elizabeth and found her eyes staring right at him.

"Yes, it is."

Aurelius eyes narrowed. "And how would you know? Do you know what it's like to walk the streets and see all the people you should be helping, but aren't? When you're powerful, every moment that you spend on yourself is a moment you should be spending on helping those in need because you have the means to. And when all I really have is strength, I can't just give it away. It's tied to my being."

Elizabeth's expression turned ugly. "You don't have to do any of that. It's your choice."

"My choice?" Aurelius asked as he leaned forward and thumped his chest with his hand. "You're saying I should just live in the way that gives me the most benefit out of how the world is? I should live with no respect for myself or anyone else? Like the ones Cade is after right now!" he yelled, pointing his finger out. When he saw Elizabeth's state, his hand fell and his posture crumbled. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry." Elizabeth sniffed. "You're a good person. Sorry for blaming you. The truth is... I really... I want to be just like you."

Aurelius slowly raised his head, his eyes wide. Elizabeth looked confused at his expression. A little fearful, even. Aurelius shuddered as a distant memory flashed through his mind. His stomach sank.

"What is it? Did I say something?" Elizabeth asked when Aleyah burst into the room.

"What's going on here? Why did I hear yelling?" She cast an accusing gaze at Aurelius. "Why are you here?"

"Ah, I asked him to—"

Aurelius raised a hand. "You're right. I shouldn't have come here." He stood up, holding his mouth as he made his way out of the room.

After he was out, he jumped down the stairs, uncaring about his injuries, and rushed to the backyard, where he vomited into the nearest bush. Afterward, he coughed a little as some droplets of water fell from his eyed. Then he vomited again. It repeated over and over before there was nothing coming out anymore.

He turned and stumbled a few steps before falling face-first into the dirt. Weirdly, the dirt felt comforting. Despite its filthiness, its coolness relaxed the burning sensation inside. Because of that, he just kept lying there. No one came to check up on him. He didn't want anyone to. He just liked watching the sun fall with his face on the ground.

Eventually, though, from his peripheral vision, a familiar, elegant figure approached. Cade had changed clothes since the last time he saw her, half a day ago.

Cade looked to the side, where Aurelius' vomit was, before crouching right beside him. She then put down the cup of tea she had with her before laying a hand on his back. "What happened? Aleyah said you talked to Betty."

Aurelius mumbled something incoherent with his mouth up against the ground. He didn't even try saying anything.

Cade let a little smile show as she rolled him to his side. "Come on, Aurelius. Tell me what's bothering you."

"I've ruined everything... They all... No... Me too... Be me," Aurelius started sentences he would maybe finish some day in the future while holding back tears. "Should I be happy? Because I'm not. I'm not happy at all. I'm not, and I think I should be."

Cade went from crouching to sitting down as Aurelius rolled onto his back, and together they watched the stars be obstructed by a series of wavy gray clouds. "You don't have any obligation to be happy, Aurelius. I wouldn't say I'm an expert on this topic, though. I'm not very happy myself." She looked at Aurelius and smiled. "But I'm happy I have you."

Aurelius smiled faintly as well. But then he asked a question that shifted the mood. "What did you do to the ones who assaulted Elizabeth?"

Cade pursed her lips as she exhaled through her nose. "I found them and killed them. Nothing more to it than that. They will never make another victim."

Aurelius sighed. "They weren't essence users, were they?"

"No, they weren't. I knew that when I left."

"Then why didn't you take me? I could've helped."

Cade made a difficult expression.

"You don't think I could've stomached it," Aurelius said, his brows knitted. Cade didn't have to answer. Aurelius rose up into a sitting position. "Look, I'm better now. I can do what's necessary."

"That isn't better. It's—"

"No. Listen to me. You can't keep preaching to me while you do all the dirty work. I live in this world the same as you. I've seen how horrible it is, and I'm ready to sacrifice parts of myself to make it less horrible," Aurelius insisted before his posture sank, and he directed his gaze away. "Also, to be honest, the more I've discovered about the world, the more I've just wanted to burn it all down."

Even while looking away, he could see how Cade's expression changed in the darkness. Then both of them were startled as a voice came from behind.

"That's my line. I've had the same thought. Over and over," the dark figure said as he stepped into the backyard. And with a smile on his shaded face, he said, "Maybe we're not so different after all, Goldilocks."

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