It was late in the evening when Allie was startled awake by a nightmare. Sweat dripped from her forehead. The beating in her chest flared her anxiety to the roof and a ghostly breath passed her lips.  When she turned Dean and Sam were both asleep. It didn't make sense to wake them. They were dealing with more than her. They needed rest. They deserved it. She gently climbed out of bed so as to not wake Dean and grabbed a joint from her purse. Sometimes she smoked pot to relax, though not often anymore. Only a minute later she was outside and sitting on the trunk of the Impala staring up at the stars. It was a crisp and cool night. The weed didn't help.

Dean's eyes shot open at the soft sound of fabric brushing, his senses instantly alert as he felt Allie slipping out of bed. He knew she was probably just going for a smoke break or to clear her head after that nightmare; it happened sometimes when they had been through something intense like tonight. He watched silently from beneath his eyelids as she made her way outside, unable to resist the urge to sneak out himself and join her in silence. He knew Sam wouldn't approve, but he needed to be near her; the pull to protect her was too damn strong. He carefully crept out of bed and made his way outside, stopping just behind the Impala where she sat on its trunk, staring up at the stars. "Hey," he whispered, leaning against the car beside her. The night air was cool against his bare chest, sending shivers down his spine that had nothing to do with the temperature drop.

"You good?"

She was quiet for a long moment, gaze never leaving the sky. The moon looked nice. The view was clear and brilliant; starkly different from her own mindset. Allie wasn't generally one to open up. Being vulnerable was hard. "I...don't know." She admitted and chewed the bottom of her lip before offering the joint to him. "You know... when my mom was dying I told myself that nothing would ever break my heart again. Well, nothing else." She ran a hand over her face. "Guess I shot myself in the foot because now it breaks a million times for the same reason." Perhaps it would be poetic if it wasn't so god damn melancholy. But... Dean would understand. Finally, somebody would! They didn't usually talk about it but tonight? Well... tonight she was sad . Sometimes it felt like she was dragging herself out of a void.

Dean accepted the joint gratefully, taking a long drag before exhaling slowly into the night air. "I know what you mean," he murmured, his voice low enough not to wake Sam but close enough for her to hear him clearly. He hadn't lost anyone as close as she had - not yet – but there were plenty of people who had died because of their chosen path in life; innocents caught up in something they didn't deserve to be part of. He had lost his mother but he was only four at the time. "It gets easier,"

Allie sighed. "Yeah, they say that..." she trailed off and turned away from him. "It's bullshit though. Hate to break it to you." Was it depressing? Yes. Was it true? Well, she thought so. "It doesn't get easier. The ache stays it just becomes... different. " It had been six years since she lost her mother. "The worst part is one day you just start forgetting. You forget their voice, their smell, the way they told stories... then you start forgetting their face." In a way, the nightmares kept her mother alive. One day she would lose those too.

Dean reached out a comforting hand, gently squeezing hers in solidarity. "I know it doesn't," he said softly, his voice thick with unshed emotion. "But you don't forget them, Allie." He took another drag from the joint before passing it back to her. "They stay with us; they always will. They become part of who we are, part of our story – even if sometimes that sucks ass." He leaned forward slightly, their shoulders brushing against each other lightly as he turned towards her.

She took the weed gratefully and absorbed a long drag. "Thanks for turning me into a hero." Allie noted and the words sounded light. They were kind and sensitive. These moments... they were few and far between but they were why she had grown so close with Dean. Sure, they may have acted like idiots together most of the time but deep down they had common understandings that other people just didn't have. "Are you... okay? I know that you miss your dad and you're staying strong for Sam-- but you don't have to do that with me." She turned to look at him, the pad of her thumb gently stroking the back of his hand.

Dean shrugged nonchalantly, trying to play it off as nothing more than what he was supposed to do. "Hell no," he expressed with exasperation, his voice cracking slightly at the end of the word. He cleared his throat awkwardly. He wasn't used to talking about things other than with Sam but Allie understood. He was still learning to open up. "I'm tired."

She knew what he meant. Emotionally. Dean had been brought up like a soldier. Now he was thinking about a father that he couldn't be with and a brother that was having nightmares and premonitions. It was scary. She knew he was hesitant to talk to her but it wasn't their first time being open and it wouldn't be their last. "Just... carry on and the peace will come." Allie brushed her forehead against his shoulder, nuzzling into him. Her arm wrapped around him to rub comforting circles into his back. "This will pass. When it does, I'll be here. We can rest together."

Dean leaned into the warmth of her touch, his muscles relaxing slightly underneath her gentle caress. "Thanks," he wrapped an arm around her shoulders in return and pulled her closer against him. It felt right; like they were meant to be there together, sharing this moment of vulnerability beneath the starry sky. "I don't know what I would do without you guys," he admitted quietly after a long silence had fallen between them. "You both mean more than you could ever fuckin' realize."

The words were like a balm on her nonphysical wounds, a bandaid on all of her inner cuts and bruises. It was nice to be cared for in such a way. Tonight was a good night, despite her nightmare. She thought back to when he placed tender kisses on her thigh. Dean was a good man. He was a man with depth that he didn't always show, but it was there. "Ditto, Maverick." A top gun reference. It was one of her nicknames for him but she hadn't used it in a while. Her arms roamed up his chest until they got to his jawline and cheeks, cupping his face affectionately. "You got me, babe." She breathed and smiled.

Dean smiled at her use of one of his favorite nicknames, the warmth spreading through him like a slow-burning fire. He leaned forward slightly, their faces inches apart now as he stared into those big blue eyes that held so much life and love – more than they probably should have been allowed to hold after all she had seen in such a short time.

"You got me too,"

Allie's lips parted. She was starting to get high. "Wow." She shook her head. "This is good shit." The blonde pulled away from him and eyed the roach in her hand. It was completely out. That was good because it was hitting her like a brick wall. "Come on, Cowboy. Let's get some sleep before caffeine isn't enough to help us." She smiled a warm, inviting smile and motioned for him to join her back in the motel.

Dean hesitated for a moment longer, reluctant to pull away from the warmth of her touch and the closeness they had finally managed to find in this crazy world. But he knew she was right; they needed rest if they were going to be ready for whatever tomorrow brought their way. With one last lingering glance at Allie's beautiful face, he finally stood up straight, brushing off his sweatpants before offering her a hand up as well. "Lead the way, Firefly," They fell asleep. Unlike usual... they cuddled once again. This time closer, more personal. In a way, they both needed the physical contact. Allie tried her best not to read into it too much. Tonight they were just two people who needed comfort. They didn't need to talk about it.

It would have been great... except the coming days were full of tragedy. They had found John. Allie had been introduced to him. He was oddly...nice. They were on the drive back from being attacked by Meg once again when they were hit by a semi-truck. It landed Dean and John in hospital beds. Dean was in a coma. Sam only had a few cuts and a black eye. Allie was in the backseat and mainly unharmed.

She stood in Dean's hospital room with Sam. What could be said? They were both terrified of the possible outcome. "Do you want some coffee?"

Sam nodded gratefully, his eyes never leaving the unconscious form of his brother lying motionless in the bed. "Thank you," his voice cracked slightly with emotion as he reached out a trembling hand to take hers in a tight grip. They sat together in silence for what felt like hours, neither one willing or able to break it by speaking aloud their fears and concerns about Dean's condition. It felt like they were constantly losing. The demon had won again. Being mortal meant fighting against all odds. The deck was stacked against them but they couldn't quit and play a different game. They had to finish the mission.

Allie had been on the goose chase with them for nearly a year . Now she had known Dean for nearly two years. Time had flown by between hunts. They were always on the road. "One day we won't be betting on losing dogs anymore, Sam." She offered in an attempt to comfort him. "Dean is strong. He's a... fuckin' stubborn jackass." Her tone was actually affectionate while she spoke the words. "He'll pull through. It'll be okay. It's going to be fine." She turned to look at Sam and offered a small smile.

Sam managed a weak smile in return. "Thanks, Allie," he whispered softly. He knew she was trying to reassure him, but the fear and worry were like an anchor weighing down on his chest, making it difficult for any hope or optimism to take root. "I know you're right," he finally admitted reluctantly. "He always does."

Allie didn't know whether to offer a witty retort, back off, or attempt to comfort him more intensely. She was alone when her mother died of cancer. No one comforted her. She opted to perform multiple doors. "At least you still have me, right? Although the blonde dies first in all the horror movies so... may wanna second guess yourself." Okay. Poor attempt at a joke but she was trying. Even if she wasn't in the mood. Next up? Comfort. She gently leaned his body over. Her hands roamed up his back underneath his shirt and she began to massage his muscles. A real, deep massage. There weren't really words to say so she offered a different kind of comfort.  She placed Sam's hand over Dean's, and Allie took Sam's other palm and traced hearts into it with her fingertip, connecting all three of them in a link.

 

"Come stop your crying 

It will be alright 

Just take my hand

Hold it tight"

 

"I will protect you

From all around you

I will be here

Don't you cry"

 

"For one so small

You seem so strong

My arms will hold you

Keep you safe and warm" 

 

"This bond between us

Can't be broken

I will be here

don't you cry" 

 

She sang, her voice soft and comforting like a lullaby. Maybe it was awkward but she hoped not. She just wanted to be there for both of them. Allie realized at that moment that she was dedicated wholeheartedly to the Winchesters, for better, or for worse.

Sam felt the tension slowly seeping out of his body as Allie's skilled hands worked their magic on his tight muscles, her soft voice filling the otherwise silent room with comforting words and melody. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to be consumed by the heat radiating from her touch and the familiarity of Dean's hand in his own. He had felt cold for so long. "Thank you," he whispered hoarsely after a few moments had passed, unable to articulate how much this simple act meant to him at that moment. "I... I don't know what we would do without you, Allie." He leaned his head against her shoulder, feeling a sudden surge of protectiveness towards the young woman who had chosen to join them in this dangerous life. She was strong and resilient, but she didn't have to be here; she could have lived a normal life, free from demons both literal and figurative. Instead, she chose to stand by their side, facing down monsters with them, offering comfort when they needed it most. "We'll get through this"

Seeing Sam in such a way made her heartache. He was a gentle giant with kindness in spades. This life... it did things to people. It churned them out or killed them. Sam knew better than anyone but he had come back. He had come back to find John. Allie knew that Sam wanted to go back to school, to stop hunting. They had talked about it a bit but really she could just tell. What was there left to say? They sat in silence. Frankly, she was scared too. Dean was her best friend. They may have bickered and bantered nearly every waking moment they were together but… It hurt to see him broken. It scared her.

Sam leaned his head against Allie's shoulder, savoring the warmth of her touch and the comforting rhythm of her massage. He knew she was right; they would get through this together. They always did. "Thank you," he whispered again after a while had passed in companionable silence. "For everything." His words were barely audible over the steady beeping of Dean's heart monitor, but he needed to say them nonetheless. She didn't have to stick around and didn't owe him or Dean anything.

Allie brushed back Sam's hair with a soft sigh and pressed a kiss to his forehead. She wasn't one to cry but God damn... if there was ever a time —- No . She had to keep it together for Sam. His whole family was in the hospital. This wasn't about her and it wouldn't be fair to blubber. "You don't have to thank me, Sam." She cooed, pink lips brushing against his skin. "That's what friends are for." Her fingers trailed along his shoulders before giving them a gentle squeeze. "And we're friends, right?" It wasn't a real question. Of course they were! But she wanted Sam to feel supported and think about it.

Sam smiled slightly at her words, his eyes still closed as he savored the feeling of a comforting touch. "Yeah," he finally managed to croak out, a small chuckle escaping him despite the tension that still lingered in his voice. "We are." He leaned back against her shoulder ever so slightly, their bodies brushing together in an almost intimate way.

After a while, Sam left to see John. Allie was alone with Dean. She cautiously scooted her chair closer to Dean's bed and rested her cheek on his hand. The beep of his heart monitor filled the silent room. It was like a taunt. "Dean..." she trailed off while nuzzling herself into his hand. "You gotta make it through this, baby. " The words were nearly a whisper and tears brimmed her eyes. She hadn't even cried when her mother was sick, it sort of felt unnatural. But they laced her eyes anyway. She pressed a soft kiss to his forearm. "I care about you so much. You can't go. I can't take it. I can't do this again. Please ." The sentiment was proceeded by a whimper and Allie covered her mouth as if the world was hearing her crumble. The blonde blinked and looked up at the fluorescent lights in an effort to bat her vulnerability away. Sam could be back at any moment and it wouldn't be kind of her to let him see her so... beaten down. She turned back to Dean's body. "I need you. We both need you. So you can't go. It's not right." 

Allie leaned back in her chair and sighed. When Sam re-entered hours later he was holding a Ouija board and told her he thought Dean was around and that a glass had broken in John's hospital room while they were fighting. Sam returned to find Allie curled up against Dean's bedside, her shoulders shaking silently as she tried in vain to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. He hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to say or do before finally mustering up enough courage to squeeze her hand gently. "Hey, just try it with me. Okay?"

"Are you... do those things really work? I always thought it was a gimmick." Her tone was cautious.

"I don't know about these things usually," he admitted honestly, setting down the Ouija board on the floor of the hospital room and sitting in front of it. "But... Dean's been through a lot. And I don't know, maybe there is something to it sometimes." He reached out tentatively and placed his fingertips lightly on the planchette, closing his eyes in concentration as he focused all of his energy on trying to connect with his brother.

The room fell into an eerie silence for several long moments before the planchette slowly began to move across the board, spelling out one word after another: "S-A-M..."

 

Being a ghost fucking sucked.

Dean moved through the hospital in an attempt to find out how to wake up, how to get back into his body. He saw everything. Saw Sam stressed over him and heard Allie's pleads. He sat in front of the Ouija board with them and tried to find the strength to continue. "R-E-A-P" It was tough to even manage that but they had to do something. He wasn't ready to go yet. It wasn't his time. It couldn't be... he had to hunt it.

Sam’s eyes widened in surprise as the planchette continued to move, spelling out the word "REAP." He glanced over at Allie nervously, unsure of what it could mean. Was Dean trying to tell them something about their next target? Or was he warning them about something else entirely? "Dean?" he whispered softly, his voice cracking slightly with fear and desperation. "Is there someone or something we need to watch out for? A reaper... is it after you?"

Dean Winchester tried to focus all his energy on the planchette, willing it to move faster. "N-O," he managed to spell out slowly and with great effort. "R-E... A-P..." He paused for a moment, gathering strength before continuing. "... HUNT." The room fell into an eerie silence as Sam and Allie exchanged worried glances, both of them understanding what Dean was trying to say.

Allie stared at the board for a long time. It was like she could feel him there with them. Maybe it was just her imagination but the planchette was certainly moving at least. She laughed. Even as a ghost Dean was hunting. What the hell? It was kind of comical. Well, other than the fact he was close to death. She had a lot of emotions swirling inside of her. "Who you gonna call!?" Allie sang in a cheery tone, imitating the Ghostbusters theme song.

Dean couldn't help but chuckle weakly at Allie's attempt to lighten the mood, his ghostly form shimmering slightly in response. Though they couldn't see him he spoke to himself. "I dunno," he managed to reply between laughter and effort. "Maybe we should call Scooby-Doo." He shook his head before leaving to hunt the reaper.

Sam cracked a small smile at their usual banter, even in the face of such dire circumstances. "Thanks," he managed to choke out between breaths as he reached over and squeezed Allie's hand tightly before standing up from the floor. He knew what they had to do; there was no time for hesitation or second-guessing themselves. "I gotta go talk to my dad, and figure out how we can help Dean." When he arrived his father was gone. He looked high and low but couldn't find him so he retreated back to Dean's room.

Dean was awake when Sam arrived.

His eyes flickered open as he felt Sam's presence nearby, a weak smile spreading across his face. "Hey," he croaked out hoarsely, reaching out a hand towards him. "I found something," he managed to whisper, his voice barely audible over the beeping of machines keeping him alive. "There's a reaper..." He paused for a moment, gathering strength before continuing. "Well... there was." He had been hunting with a ghostly woman, only to find out she was the reaper. Tess. Something had possessed her and before he knew it— he was alive again. "I think...she's gone now."

Sam’s heart leaped with relief at the sound of Dean's voice, rushing over to his bedside and grasping his hand tightly. "Dean," he breathed out a sigh of relief, tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he leaned in closer. "You scared us," he admitted softly, brushing back some stray hairs from Dean's sweaty forehead. "We thought... I don't know what we thought."

Their reunion was interrupted by John entering. Sam got in a bit of a fight with him over the demon, yellow eyes, but something was off. Something wasn't right.

John was soft. He noted that he didn't want to fight with Sam. That they always butted heads but half the time he didn't know what they were fighting about. Allie didn't know him well but all of them stared in a bit of shock. John was not a soft man. It was a stark contrast to the stories she had been told about him by her own father and the brothers. John asked Sam to him a cup of coffee. Sam left and John spoke with Allie in the hallway.

She felt a bit awkward. She'd never really had a personal moment with John and now he was telling her to look after Dean and Sam. "I don't understand, John. Why are you telling me this?"

John Winchester's eyes were filled with a mix of regret and resignation as he turned to face Allie, his usually stern features softened by something she couldn't quite place. "I... I don't have much time left," he admitted with resignation, reaching out a hand to gently squeeze hers in a rare display of vulnerability. "You're like family to them now, kiddo." He paused for a moment, swallowing hard before continuing. "And they need you more than ever." Trading his life for Dean's meant leaving his boys—- for good .

It felt like he was giving her a secret, one that she wasn't prepared for. Didn't have much time left? Her eyes met with John's and she sighed. "What did you do?" Somehow she already knew. Dean's waking... wasn't natural. Maybe she shouldn't have asked. Did she really want to know? "John... I can't take care of them. I'm not a good enough hunter... I'm still training... I'm..." all excuses. Dean had done a good job of mentoring her but this felt like the weight of the world was being placed on her shoulders.

John's eyes were reserved as he looked at Allie, a mix of pride and concern etched on his weathered features. "You don't have to be the best hunter in the world," he took a long pause. "But you are smart, resourceful, and damn good with that thing." He nodded towards the knife stored in her boot. "And Dean needs someone who understands him; someone who can keep him grounded when things get tough. And Sam..." he hesitated for a moment, his voice cracking slightly. "He needs someone after Jess." John knew all too well the pain of losing love to death. "You're the glue holding them together right now," John continued, his words coming out in a rush as if he knew time was running short. "And I know you can do it. You have to do it, Allie." He squeezed her hand one last time before pulling away and turning back towards Dean's room to talk with his son for the last time.

Allie stood in the hallway. Everything was on her. John obviously trusted her, maybe more than she trusted herself. How was she supposed to react? She barely knew the man. Honestly, a seed of resentment lived in her regarding John. He had not been a good father to the Winchesters.

Her eyes fell to the floor as she realized that John was going to die and Sam had no idea. He was getting coffee. It broke her heart but she had to stay quiet. Parted lips quivered from the stress and emotional weight of the moment. Dean had just nearly looked death in the face and now his father would die. She ran her hands over her face as John and Dean spoke in private. Minutes later John came from the room and left but Allie couldn't bear entering.

Only minutes later John was dead

and the three were alone.