By dinner time, Ophelia was a sour grape. She couldn't shake off the feeling of disappointment. They all gathered in the Great Hall and although it was very loud, she couldn't help but feel like she could only hear her beating heart. She glanced at the staff table and noticed Dumbledore speaking to Slughorn, seemingly very jolly. Zabini was there as well, next to Eynon who looked miserable. The girls were fawning over him, again, even if they knew about his not-so-great personality.
"Why are you grumpy?" Remus asked, being the one sitting on her left. The other side was occupied by Alice, to Ophelia's relief. She didn't want Sirius or James to pick up on her mood and question her. Or worse, try to make her feel better.
"Do you ever feel like we are groomed to become puppets?" She asked knowing he would understand what she meant.
"We are. Especially during this time. But that applies to every society. We are raised to become part of the whole. That's one thing that applies to everyone, including muggles." Remus replied before he smiled softly, "Are you worried about what will happen after we graduate?"
Ophelia glanced at Dumbledore, who rose to give his usual speech before she looked at her friend.
"I'm worried I won't have anyone to return to," she said meekly, making Remus frown.
"Good evening and welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I am delighted to see we still have wizards and witches brave enough to come to school. I know that this castle cannot protect you forever. Danger looms in the darkest corners both outside and inside the school. But there is always light pushing back against the darkness, and there is still peace and joy amidst chaos. That is why, I am more than pleased to announce that this year Hogwarts will host a dance! The Christmas Ball!" He said loudly making everyone excited with just a few words.
"A ball? With Death Eaters inside the castle? With a Dark Lord wreaking havoc and killing innocent people?" Frank asked with a frown.
But Ophelia caught the shimmering mischief in Dumbledore's plan. One look around and she could see how a ball, for young adults, was the event of the year.
"It's a distraction," Ophelia whispered, finding the headmaster very sly but amusing at the same time. "Even Death Eaters can be swayed by a dance."
"I know, there are many things to prepare, many dates to be asked," he laughed and then continued. "Also, this year the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts will be shared by two former students and professors: Professor Eynon will teach our first four years students and Professor Zabini will teach fifth years and above." He explained but students were already too busy discussing the ball.
The rest of the speech was the usual, so Ophelia blocked it out. She was still in a bad mood after her brief chat with Eynon. But on the other side of the table, Sirius was drumming his fingers against the wood as he couldn't help but wonder how will he make Ophelia go to the ball with him.
The Christmas Ball became soon the most sought topic among the students. Be they first years or seventh years, Hufflepuffs or Slytherins, they were all talking about the dance.
"Do you think Nott will ask you to the dance?" Snape asked one morning while they had breakfast together. Not in the Great Hall, of course, but in a dusty room.
"Why did you ask me to bring food in here? Everyone knows we are friends and nobody will say anything anymore,"
But that wasn't why Snape asked to eat apart from everyone.
"So? Would you accept to go with him if he asked?" Snape ignored her completely.
Ophelia rolled her eyes and shrugged.
"I don't feel like playing this game. It would be better for me to go home for Christmas and have some peace." She mumbled taking a bite from her omelette.
"You'd be all alone then. That would be even worse," he said nonchalantly before taking a bite from his bacon.
"You could tag along,"
"I'm afraid not. This is also my first dance and I'd like to enjoy it,"
Ophelia scoffed so loudly that Snape was sure the whole castle heard it.
"Yeah, right. Because you are the king of the parties,"
"No, but this will be organized by the school. And it will be more formal. Whether I will enjoy it or not, I'd still like to experience it at least once." He explained, having her roll her eyes the whole time.
"You still didn't answer me. Why are we hiding in this room? What is it that you don't want me to see?"
"More like what I don't want you to not see," he mumbled looking down at his plate.
"Is it about Rabastan? I've seen him in shittier moments of his life, nothing can surprise me at this point," she said with no remorse whatsoever.
"I know,"
"Then who? I've seen everyone in the Great Hall, anyway. Every-" she stopped as she remembered that when she walked past the Slytherin table, something was incomplete. "I haven't seen Regulus," she stated waiting for an explanation. But Snape kept his eyes set on his breakfast. "Where is Regulus?"
"He...became a Death Eater this summer," Snape finally said, "I was there when he received his mark. He was sent abroad and won't be back until probably next week,"
"So what, school is not important anymore?" she asked, her voice raising in volume as annoyance and disappointment filled her heart. "One after the other, you all just throw yourselves into that hellish pit," she said through gritted teeth before she left Snape alone.
"That was a better reaction than expected," Snape muttered to himself.
From that dusty room, Ophelia had to go to Charms, which to her delight, was now a lot better seeing how her control over her magic with and without a wand was close to perfection. But while on the way there, she couldn't help but look down at the serpent ring, and felt the weight of her parent's status in the world. It was his fault that she couldn't go home and find Knowingall smiling at her and Dylis watering the flowers on the porch. It was his fault that so many nice, innocent people threw their lives away for his approval and alleged power. It was because of him that her life was so messy and nobody truly looked at her and saw Ophelia, not Tom. She didn't see the person who walked from around the corner and the two collided.
"Sor-Oh, you look horrible," she said as her eyes set on the young man.
Rabastan was usually a fit man, with broad shoulders and a body that always caused Ophelia to blush. But now, he looked unhappy, he lost half of his muscles, and his face was sullen and pale.
"You're not the prettiest, either, it's fine," he joked but couldn't bring himself to look like he was amused or...enjoying life in general.
"So you have returned as well. What will you do, teach apparition again?"
"Actually, Dumbledore wants me to teach flying lessons," he said. "It's been a long summer, I'm rather happy spending more time in Hogwarts. Your father's been restless,"
"Of course...he only thinks about himself and what he needs. It's never about world peace or his daughter," she said grumpily. "Once I graduate, I won't be able to take one step off into the world because he will appear right there, in the back of my neck, and whisper in my ear how I have to give my soul to him," she said full of bitterness. Rabastan only watched her with knowing eyes. She had bottled up a lot of emotions, that much was obvious, and she needed to explode at some point.
"Think about today, don't go so far into the future. When that time comes, you'll be better prepared,"
"I will never be prepared to give up on everything for him," she said and left before growing even more pissed off.
The rest of the weeks passed very quickly. The more Ophelia tried to think about the present, the faster it seemed to pass. Every night she spent looking up at the ceiling, listening to the calming rhythm of her roommates' breathing as they dreamt of a good adult life. She couldn't even do that because she had nightmares where she was eaten up by a huge snake. School became irrelevant as she started to recognize that nothing would help her stand up to her father. Nothing, except DADA.
And there was still a dance in December, which Ophelia couldn't bother with. It happened one morning when one seventh-year Slytherin slithered next to her in the Great Hall during lunch.
"Whatcha doing Molley?" Nott asked full of energy and false expectations. "You haven't promised your hand to anyone for the dance, have you?"
Ophelia could feel a heavy sigh desire to pass through her lips, but she kept it in.
"What about me?" Nott asked under the intense gazes of his dorm mates, but also the bored eyes of Sirius Black.
"I'm not going to the ball. Go ask someone else," she said immediately.
"Why not? That's not fun if you don't show your face," he whispered, sounding more flirtatious than he probably wanted since he quickly leaned back. "It's our final year, I want to have at least one dance with you before-" he stopped, knowing if he mentioned her father, she would rush out of there.
"I'm sure it will be fun without me," she said, ignoring the last part of his sentence.
Then it happened again, on a different day. It was in the library when a guy she only knew in passing from Ravenclaw came to her and asked her for the dance. She didn't even reply, only glared at him and he understood. Across her, Snape couldn't help but chuckle.
"Do you have a date, then?" she asked with a grimace.
"No, maybe I should ask you," he joked to which she threw him a look as if asking if he had a death wish. It only made Snape laugh.
The school wasn't even important anymore as students became engrossed in date-hunting. That was how Potter named it, and everyone agreed that it fit. Nobody asked Ophelia anymore, although she did make a run for it every time she had the impression that a boy was eyeing her.
The best place for Ophelia to hide was in the corridor towards the first-floor girls' bathroom where Myrtle always hung out. It was empty so she sat against the cold wall and sighed.
"What are you doing here?" she was found out in record time.
"Hiding."
"From what?"
"Boys," Ophelia replied making the newcomer laugh. "Where have you been Regulus?"
Regulus approached her slowly but he didn't utter a word.
"Show me your arm," she said a bit bossy but Regulus knew what she meant.
"Why? You already know what's there." He said looking into her disappointed eyes.
"Are you happy?" She asked turning her eyes on her hands.
"Yes. You should be as well. It's good for you too."
"How is you being a Death Eater good for me?"
"You have more people to care about you around your father." He said as if that was obvious.
"Care about me?" She asked and started to laugh loudly. "Nobody cares about me. They only care about how they can use me and what I can bring. All Death Eaters want to be my friends because it looks good in front of my father."
"And the others? Such as my brother,"
Ophelia sighed and rubbed her eyes, already tired.
"All I need is one unfortunate moment to lose everything I have. One brief moment when I will show everyone that I am indeed Tom's daughter. And when that will happen, I will have nothing." She explained bitterly.
Regulus watched her with pity but he was also intrigued by her bleak view of her life.
"Spinnard convinced your lord to let me finish school like a normal student. But once school ends, he will come and I will have to go with him. Because he is my father and because I can't fight him."
"Why not? You can fight everyone else, especially Bella."
Ophelia couldn't form a real answer because it always seemed to be so hard to put it into words.
"No matter how much I hate what he does and what he fights for, I can't hate him. There were moments with him that made me happy. For half of my life, I looked for him, I wanted to make him proud and he gave me a sense of...belonging." she started feeling weak. "I can't kill him. I don't want to kill him. If anything, I just want him to stop and be a normal wizard. He is my family."
Regulus could understand her. They shared the same blood, her strength lied in her desire to prove herself to her father. But they had different values so it made Ophelia feel conflicted.
"I can understand that. But that doesn't mean nobody cares about you. I do. So do Snape and Rabastan and your dorm mates. Sirius has a huge crush on you and it didn't fade at all. Not even a little."
Ophelia chuckled and she caressed his hair softly which made him blush.
"I do hope you'll be able to escape in time." She said knowing that Regulus was far nicer and soft than his peers.
