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Dorley…the Final Frontier.

These are the voyages of Alan Malloy.

His continuing mission?

To expunge his toxic ways

To seek out a new life and a new identity.

To Boldy Be Basemented Like Many Men Have Been Before…

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Stardate -358.3958 – The Basement Under Dorley Hall – Programme Day Seven

   I stood aside, and beckoned Ted inside my room. I didn’t quite know why he was here, and I didn’t like the fact that I was letting a rapist into my room, but I didn’t think he was into guys, and somehow I didn’t think he was here for sex. I hoped. I waved in the direction of the bed and waited for him to clear the threshold.

   “Sure, uh, find somewhere to sit, I guess. What’s this about?”

   Ted sat down on my bed while I closed the door. I walked over to the desk chair, and sat down on it Riker-style. Ted looked unamused, and when he spoke, he sounded scared. More scared than usual.

   “Alan…have you…have you noticed a…resemblance between me and Nessa? And I don’t mean in the “two people can look the same without being related” sense. I mean in the “she looks like me, but if I was born as a girl” sense. Please, tell me if I’m being paranoid again. I tried talking to Katsuro, but he said I was acting crazy and told me if I asked anyone else that, they’d say the same thing. I don’t want to go near Danny or Arthur, and Ewan wouldn’t wake up when I banged on his door. So you’re the only person I can ask.”

   “Ted…look, I won’t pretend I haven’t noticed that there’s a marked resemblance. Yes, Nessa does have a distinct resemblance to you.”

   “Oh thank god,” Ted said, relieved. “I was scared I was going crazy.”

   I refrained from commenting that when I showed up, he was already not the most stable individual out of the group. He still wasn’t, but this was refreshing compared to the usual schizophrenic-level paranoia he usually displayed. Ted opened his mouth to ask another question, but couldn’t quite say what he wanted to say. He tried again, managing to stutter a bit, but managed to blurt out his question the third time.

   “Is it possible that she’s Ned?”

   I nodded slowly. “I came to a similar conclusion. I thought I was just paranoid though. If she is, what do you intent to do?”

   “I mean…Christ, I could never see my brother being…uh…”

   “The term is trans, Ned,” I said, gently. “Trust me, it’s not something that is always obvious in people. I had a friend, back when I was a preteen, and they turned out to be trans. I didn’t see that when I met them.”

   “But Ned was my other half,” Ted argued. “We were closer to each other than we were to our parents. I’d have known!”

   “Well, even if it’s unexpected, does she seem to be happy?”

   “…yes,” Ted said, his voice uneasy. “Yeah, she seems to be genuinely happy. She’s certainly not suffering. But why would she work with the people who kidnapped her?”

   “Maybe she was hoping they’d find you so you could be together again?” I said, thinking back to what Ted said about his escape. “She didn’t know you’d fled to Worthing did she? You basically disappeared, to the point where Dorley couldn’t track you down till you showed back up in a spot they were monitoring. Perhaps she thought that if she stayed and helped, you’d show up eventually and she’d be able to see you again?”

   “Goddamn,” Ted said, flopping back on my unmade bed. “I hate to say it, Alan, but you’re right. Christ, I’m such an idiot. I should go and find her and talk to her about-”

   “Ted, that would be a bad idea,” I argued. “First off, she clearly didn’t tell you for a reason. Maybe she’s not ready to tell you who she is? Maybe she’s scared you’ll reject her? Either way, it’s her secret to reveal, even if you already know the truth.”

   “But that might never happen!”

   I sighed. “If that’s the case, then that door is closed. You and she will always be strangers. But that’ll be her choice, if it comes to that. If you truly love your sister, you’ll keep the fact that you know to yourself. You understand?”

   Ted remained silent.

   “Ted, I need to know you understand,” I repeated. “If you don’t, then we have a problem. Do you understand?”

   “Yes, I understand,” he spat, walking over to the door and waiting for me to unlock it. I pressed my thumb against the scanner, and pulled open the door. Ted turned to me before leaving, his expression changing from annoyance to pensiveness.

   “Alan, did…did that friend you mentioned say how they knew they were a girl? What caused them to decide to change their life like that?”

   I frowned as I tried to remember. Eventually I shook my head.

   “All I remember is that she said that cis men don’t want to be a different gender.”

“Do you feel that way?” Ted asked, nervous. “Like you’d have no issue being a girl?”

   “Not to my knowledge,” I replied, curious. “Why do you ask?”

   Ted simply walked away. I closed the door, fell face first onto my bed, and screamed into my pillow. Why was I the one to discuss this with the rapist? What was that shit he was talking about at the end? Fucking hell, next time I saw Katsuro, I was going to have some words regarding his decision to tell the conspiracy nut to come and ask me about something he didn’t want to answer!

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Stardate -357.78125 – Programme Day Eight

   The start of my second week was marked by Arthur’s release from the cells. It was just after lunch; our morning having been occupied by a PowerPoint presentation by Monica on feminism and the historical mistreatment of women. Ewan had cracked jokes for half of the presentation, only stopping when Pippa threatened to taser him. Ted spent the entire time staring at Nessa like he was trying to figure out how they’d turned his brother into her, which eventually resulted in her leaving the room and walking off in the direction of the stairs. I made a note to keep an eye out in case he did to his sister what he had done to his cousin. Not that I thought that was likely without alcohol, but I wasn’t going to take any chances with Ted. Danny spent the entire presentation sneering at each slide, and generally being an utter twat. Personally, I didn’t give a shit. Feminism was something I had no real opinion on, other than when it was used to get a good sci-fi show take off the air. Then I had a lot of things to say. That didn’t happen often though.

   After finishing our lessons, and eating a hearty salad for our midday meal, we were basically left to our own devices for the afternoon. Ted and Katsuro were playing chess over at the tables, and Danny was locked away in his room. Ewan and I were sitting in our usual spot by the TV reading when Arthur walked into the room accompanied by Maria. He walked over to us, and cleared his throat. I looked up, and frowned.

   “I’d…like to apologise for attacking the two of you.”

Huh. I wasn’t expecting that. Arthur looked…weird. He looked…defeated. Morose even. I wasn’t sure what he was up to, but maybe he’d finally come to realise what the situation was. I didn’t quite know what was going on though. Maybe Maria had managed to convince him that his best option was to cooperate. Or maybe he’d just snapped and was crazier than Ted now. Either way, I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

   “Uh…thanks?” I said, nervously. Unexpectedly, he smiled sadly, and turned to Maria.

   “I’d like to stay here and watch some television, if that’s OK?”

   She pursed her lips, and nodded. “OK. So long as you don’t make any aggressive actions, to anyone here, you can stay out here with the others.”

 He walked over to the armchair he had sat in on the first day, and leaned back in it, watching the gardening program currently on the television. Maria watched him closely, and turned to me.

   “Alan, I watched the footage of your talk with Ted. Thank you for avoiding creating an incident between Ted and Nessa. You did good. Even if it was unexpected to say the least.”

   Then she walked away, leaving Arthur to morosely watch the television. Oh god, did that mean that they were monitoring our rooms as well as the common areas? Christ, I wasn’t going to jerk off for the rest of my time here, not that I’d managed to get an erection for the past couple of days anyway. Stressful living tended to do that to you.

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   “Nessa, are you still good to work with Ted?” Maria asked, sitting down in the security room with a  mug of coffee. Nessa looked up from the monitors and smiled sadly.

   “I’ll be OK. At least I don’t have to do much extra legwork to convince him of who I am when it comes to second disclosure. I have to say, though, that it’s certainly making it awkward to talk with him. I just need some time to compose myself, and I’ll be right as rain to get back to working with Ted.”

   “Good to hear,” Maria said, sitting down in an empty chair and groaning as she stretched out some aching muscles in her back. “I wish I was as confident about Arthur as you are about Ted. He’s gone into a fugue after I gave him his second warning. He does seem to be taking the threat of washing out seriously though. Maybe I can use that as a lever, since the foster parent route has gone nowhere.”

   “Well, good luck with that,” Nessa said, turning back to the monitors. “I…I’m just glad that Ted and Alan didn’t figure out the truth. It was a stroke of luck that they inferred that I was just trans, not that I was trans specifically because of the programme.”

   “Would you have made that jump if you were in Ted’s shoes at this stage?” Maria asked, amused. “Face it, we’re lucky that we didn’t have another know-it-all type in this group who knew what goserelin did to their bodies. Hell, we’re lucky none of them have attributed their virility drop to the drug either. We might not even need to employ our insider this year, at the rate we’re going.”

   “Yes, I heard about that,” Nessa commented, chuckling. “We were lucky that Indira dug deeper and poked around where we hadn’t thought to look. Otherwise, we could have caused a problem for the girl in question. Oh, before I forget, Auntie was looking for you earlier. She wants an update on the intakes.”

   “I’ll head upstairs in a bit,” Maria replied, finishing her coffee, and putting the empty mug down on a nearby desk. “I need to talk to Indira first, and get an update from her. Keep an eye on Arthur, make sure he doesn’t cause trouble in the rec room. See you later, Nessa. Good work.”

   “Will do,” replied the young woman. “See you later, Maria.”

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   Eventually, Arthur slunk back to his room, and left me and Ewan alone in the couch area. Both of us let out breaths we hadn’t realised we were holding in.

   “Christ, Alan, who was that?” asked Ewan, staring at me in disbelief. “Arthur was…fucking meek! Is that what these people do to us? Was Ted right about the brainwashing?”

   “What’s this about brainwashing?” asked Katsuro as he and Ted walked over, having finished with their game. Ted seemed to be too distracted to offer his own thoughts about the topic of conversation, which was understandable, considering what we had discussed this morning.

   “Oh, Ewan was just talking about how Arthur seems to have gotten the Orwell treatment,” I answered, rolling my eyes. “You know, intensive anger management via lobotomy and hypnosis. Jokes aside, I think Arthur just realises how deep a pit we’re all in, and he’s finally realised he’s stuck here with us.”

   “Or that we’re stuck here with him,” Ewan remarked. “Seriously, be glad we don’t have anything that can be used as a weapon down here. Even the knives are blunt.”

   “I think you’re all being a bit pessimistic about this,” Katsuro said, sitting down and leaning back. He seemed to be carrying himself a little differently these days. He stood straighter, sat upright, and seemed to be taking proper care of himself. I wondered yet again how a guy like him ended up down here, before reminding myself that whatever he did to his girlfriend was bad enough to get him interred down here, not to mention that he clearly was broken up by it enough to try and commit suicide.

   “Dude,” I said, frowning. “We’re stuck in a basement under a girls dorm on the edge of a university campus. Nobody knows we’re here; we have a year of treatment till they let us go- and I’m still not sure what makes them think we won’t report them to the police or the faculty or whatever- and the people keeping us here are wannabe psychopathic therapists who want to make us “better people”, whatever that amounts to. So far, all it seems to have comprised of is a bunch of slides about suffragettes, a pathology examination, and a dose of vitamins right in the ass. What about this situation is there that makes me anything except pessimistic?”

   “I mean, you’re alive,” said Katsuro. “If they planned to kill us, there are easier ways to achieve that with less cost. Plus, Ted’s brother passed through here. He’s probably long gone by now.”

   “Actually…”

   I shot Ted a look. “What did I say, Ted?”

   “Fuck you, Alan, they deserve to know!” Ted replied, pissed off. “Fuck, as I was trying to say, I’ve figured out that Nessa used to be Ned. She’s my twin sister.”

   "What," Katsuro said, a weird expression on his face. I'd never seen that expression before, and I couldn't identify it. Perhaps shock? Or maybe something halfway between shock and panic. I couldn't tell, but I was still trying to figure Katsuro out anyway. Wasn't surprising I couldn't tell what his reaction was based on a weird expression and a single word response.

   “…huh. Yeah, I can see that,” Ewan said, looking pensive. “Like, she looks very similar to you, almost like she’s you if you were born without a dick. Can’t believe I didn’t notice.”

   “How the fuck did you not notice?” I gaped. “She’s pretty much identical. I mean, it took me a bit because I was a bit shell shocked when I showed up, but they’re definitely siblings.”

   “Dude, I’ve spent the last two weeks scared out of my skull that Arthur was going to use my head as a soccer ball,” Ewan said. “I’ve also spent most of that time listening to Captain Crazy over there yammer on about conspiracy nonsense, and it’s not like Kendo Ken has been much help dealing with him.”

   “I take offence to being called “Kendo Ken”,” Katsuro said, affronted. “I was into jujitsu, not kendo. Completely different things.”

   “I’m curious what you’d call Alan,” Ted asked. “Nerdy Numbskull?”

   “Oh, so you get to be Captain Crazy, and I’m stuck with “Nerdy Numbskull”?” I said, crossing my arms. “Ewan started this, he’s Professor Pervert now. This is canon.”

   “Fuck you, Numbskull,” Ewan grumbled. “It was, like, less than forty girls. You can hardly call that perverted. Why don’t you go bone a Vulcan or whatever?”

   I laughed, despite my mild sense of annoyance at the suggestion I’d bone a Vulcan. “I love you too, Prof. Say, why don’t we all play a game? Trust me, it’s fun. Let me fetch a deck of cards…”

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Stardate -357.8112 – Programme Day Eight

   “Alright, ante up.”

Ted, Katsuro, and Ewan leaned forwards as I dealt cards from the deck. It was a tense moment.

   “Seven to the deuce, nothing there. Boss and the eight, nothing happening. Queen to the king, possible straight going there. Eight on the eight, and the jack gets a boss. Eights open.”

   “…huh?” asked Ewan. “Sorry, I’ve never played whatever this is before. Is this some sort of weird sci-fi thing?”

“I must also point out I have never played this game before,” added Katsuro. “I do however know how to play Go Fish.”

   “Why are we playing this again?” asked Ted. “I thought you said we were about to do something fun. This appears to be you putting cards in front of us while calling out a bunch of nonsense.”

   “All of you are a bunch of complete and utter Felgercarbs!” I exclaimed, throwing down the hand I had just picked up. “Son of a frelling hazmot, do none of you respect the noble sport of poker?”

   “Wait, this is meant to be poker?” asked Ewan, looking confused. “I haven’t played that before, and even I don’t think you’re playing it right.”

   “Again, the pervert is right,” snarked Katsuro. “Wouldn’t it be more productive if we played something that we didn’t need to learn an entire conlang in order to play? Also, Ted just left, so, whatever we play is going to be a three-player game.”

   “Smeg off, all of you,” I groaned, burying my face in my hands. “I’m cleaning this up, and then I’m off to bed.”

   “Alright…good night?” said Ewan, looking annoyed. “Christ, I could have been watching that vampire show that I’ve been binging the last few nights. Instead I get dragged out here and have a nerd talk in tongues at me.”

   “I think those were meant to be insults," Katsuro mused. "Why don’t we ask him to tell us…and he’s walking away.”

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   I closed the door of my room, and leaned back against it, sighing. I guess it was too much to ask that my “friends”- if I could really call them that- were absolutely clueless about things. I also guess it was a bad idea to try and play a game that I couldn’t actually teach them to play. All my games had been against myself. Which was not ideal. I didn’t feel ready for sleep, so instead I decided to watch some more of my limited selection of watchable television. I was not at the stage where I was desperate enough to watch some vapid romance movie, or whatever fantasy vampire bullshit Ewan had been talking about. Did none of these people have any taste at all?

   I powered on my computer, and opened up the movie folder. I was just watching the opening titles of the next episode in the season when the video froze, and my consensus app opened itself. I groaned. Oh god, what was it this time?

Alan: Go away.

Christine: Wow, hello to you too, Alan.

Alan: Back to torment me further, huh? Or shall we spar some more and see which one of us makes the next mistake, hmm?

Christine: Actually, I wanted to see if you wanted to join me in a TNG marathon, but I guess I can go ask someone else instead.

   I blinked. What?

Alan: You’re kidding. You’re…asking me to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation with you?

Christine: Noooo I wanted to see if you were interested in a Degrassi: The Next Generation marathon of fucking course I meant Star Trek: TNG you mega-dork.

Alan: Not the point. You. Want to watch something. With me. Is this some sort of seduction attempt?

Christine: Well, no, I have a girlfriend.

Alan: Second time this week. Christ, I am terrible with this.

Christine: You want to elaborate?

Alan: Never mind. But seriously, why?

Christine: I’m going to be level with you. Steph asked me to help her help you, and I’m good friends with her. She’s genuinely interested in seeing you change. But she is by no means a nerd. I am, so I thought I’d try finding some common ground between the two of us. You may be a chauvinistic asshole, but at the very least you know your shit when it comes to Star Trek. Well, mostly. That flubbed Klingon the other day was very funny.

Alan: OK, but Steph said that whoever’s in charge of Dorley wouldn’t let her give me Star Trek. Apparently it doesn’t meet the requirements. Won’t you get in trouble?

Christine: Alan, my dear. I designed Dorley’s network. All it takes to make sure that Auntie Bea is none the wiser are a few taps on my keyboard. Look up at the birdie!

Alan: The what?

Christine: Kids today, I swear. The camera, Alan, look at the camera.

   I looked up at the ceiling. The camera’s indicator light switched off. Did that mean it was off, or was this some sort of trap?

Christine: As for the chat, well, I’ve already encrypted the logs, and this message chain will auto delete as soon as I leave the call. Now, do you feel you have enough privacy to indulge in a little fun?

Alan: I’m not sure what your game is, but if you’re offering to stream Star Trek, I’m hardly going to argue. I assume popcorn is beyond your hacking powers?

Christine: Unfortunately, yes. But, I’ll be sure to grab some for myself next time we do this.

Alan: OK, then, show me the good stuff.

Christine: Well, if you want to call Encounter at Farpoint the good stuff, that’s your prerogative. But, sure, let’s begin.

   And, true to her word, she began to stream over a voice chat. She remained muted, and I apparently didn’t have a microphone built into the computer Dorley provided. But, she kept up a running commentary about how John de Lancie’s Q ruined the show, and about how Wesley should be put in the basement once I was done here, and I even joined in with the commentary when I could. Maybe she wasn’t a fraud after all. Maybe she was just like me: a nerd.

   Christ, this place was getting to me, and I couldn’t even really say that it wasn’t doing me a favour. I needed to get out of here before I lost the plot. Went crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo. Was no longer was in possession of my faculties. Could be called three fries short of a happy meal. Before I went wacko!

   Finally being able to watch my favourite show was relaxing. Too relaxing it seems. Before long, I was drifting off to sleep, the voice of Captain Picard lulling me into a deep slumber. I didn't care. Sleep was good. Maybe I'd wake up and this whole experience would turn out to be a long, inescapable dream. That, or Leonardo Di Caprio would show up and those goddamn horns would start blaring. At this stage? Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest.

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