Isabella rode her broomstick studying Jed riding a giant bald eagle burdened with a sloshing container. They two duelists faced each other down high above the desert rocks. The young man gripped the ivory player card handles of two suits in both hands; dual wielding his revolvers. Meanwhile Mule concentrated on flying, and had his talons full with carrying the 2 ton ginormous keg of jungle juice. The witch readied the unlimited magical war chest provided by Killin Company inc.
“Hehe you’ve already shown me all your tricks my pretties, but I’m a tricky hoarder at hiding everything under my hat,” she cackled, spitting spent bubble gum into the darkening skyline.
“Bang!”
“Hopefully there's a bald spot under there after I'm done shooting,” said Jed, blowing smoke from one of his barrels.
Jed had thought he had seen an opening, but in reality the sun was shining in his eyes and his reflexes were slow as molasses. In comparison her wand waving skills were unmatched, just like her legendary reputation destroying smear campaigns. She could kill a normal man just by uttering a few words from a long encyclopedia like knowledge of magic curses. With each crystal bubble popped from her ancient tung; a defensive shield quickly blocked any incoming projectiles provided by chewing gum. She twisted her twisted weapon to another setting and a stream of flames searing from the magic wand. She was a wicked boss witch and had no surviving family members.
Mule squawked like a seagull as he got out of the way just in time, but her secondary attack had other opinions. She had switched to the freezer burning setting. Some of Mule's feathers fell to the ground frozen turkey, while he flew severely slowed from gaining altitude. Jed was bucked off the saddle and held on by one hand. He held onto one gun while the other fell to the wayside out of bounds. The orange sky crackled with nervous energy as their opponent shocked its presence.
“Damn we just got destroyed back there. Are you still in one piece?” asked Mule, evening himself out in the clouds.
“I think so, but I also think we need to come up with a better action plan,” yelled Jed, pulling himself back onto the saddle.
He heard something flying dangerously close and ducked as a projectile flew right over his head. It exploded in the skyline ahead of their flight path.
“Hehehe,” Isabella laughed, stepping on the gas.
She had the targets in her sights now locked on and her next spell would be a very rotten one. The gas launched from the broom bristles like an exhaust made of genetically mutated corn husks of pure funk. So had her previously emitted similar tunes in the last episode; before her crystal ball had been knocked off like her purse. Now clouds broke to clear far out of the way for the ancient crone that stunk up the skyline at sundown.
Jed tried shooting in return, but was either far off target or the bullet was stopped by magic. The next shot killed one of her little birds, triggering the air all around him turning green. A big skull and crossbones lit up in the smog. Mule tried to get out of the blast zone, but the tips of his wings were frosted.
The local wildlife was exhausted while the witch was hauling ass in pursuit. The cackling went into overdrive at over 100 miles an hour spreading her plague. The toxin overtook both heroes who erupted into fits of coughing. Jed’s eyes hurt like they were being stung by hornets while his nostrils were aflame. Mule descended into madness while holding his breath against the gas thicker than mustard. He couldn’t hold his breath much longer before being poisoned.
“I think I’m gonna crash! Hack, cough, ughgg,” yelled Mule, bucking forward.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” screamed Jed, his arms flinging wildly freefalling.
The butterflies ricocheted through his core. The wind was sucked out of him and replaced with hurt. His lungs felt like they were cooking popcorn. He fell spinning like a top spun out of control. The giant bald eagle circled him with a shadow in death spirals. Mule's eyes were tired and he didn't have the energy to maintain his figure.
“This bird can’t fly anymore,cough,” he stammered , flapping in a dogged attempt to stay alive.
Mule had gone chicken. Jed was well ahead of him on his journey of falling through the thick mist like a rock. The stinking magic skulls of pure evil threatened to genocide anything with a soul. Her special Killin lab exterminator blend was toxic to the core. The boss witch’s broom continued spitting out a steady stream of deadly smog. She was immune to it due to shots.
Jed’s cowboy hat hit the ground on the brim. The area around it exploded at the second impact. The picture faded to rotten green as the valley became a slow cooker of death. The trees withered to nothing while the orange sand caramelized underneath in sickly twisting dessert. Nearby the ginormous keg of purple juice was grabbed moments before impact by a gagging vulture, flying low.
“I just about salvaged this situation,” said Mule, struggling onto the precious cargo. “Now to finish saving Jed. Cough.”
The shadow flickered out of the picture. The container tumbled, until it was caught by a rapidly resynthesizing arm. Mule had saved a few farc portal teleport-poppers that snapped bad situations from getting worse. He had to think fast a minute ago in saving both the juice and Jed who was flying his own course into the center of the planet for a brief respite from the fight. The core had nightmare dungeons, temples, and other stuff. Yeah Jed was probably going to need his help if he wanted him back alive.
It was after midnight when Isabella sniffed the crispy grass below with pleasure. It smelled like the royal dump that had recently dumped their unionized workers in pieces, but without using trash bags. The shady clouds dearly departed from the old bag of wrinkles; a vintage fireplace bellow that puffed out the skunk like a dragon. The fresh wind smelled of wide open spaces, while it covered up the stink like a blanket of thorny roses.
The``easiest rider” eval broom patrolled the troubled skies above carnage. She was scouting for the fallen crystal ball to upgrade her Killin list for a killstreak. Then it would be time to rendezvous with her men escorting Rusty Six hauling their captured booty to the party. The purple jungle juice spoils of war in the belly of the big rig truck they had pilfered.
.“Where are the charred remains of my pretties at?” she cackled, licking her cracked lips in similar arid conditions.
Isabella intended to have roasted dates with smoked cowboy loins for dinner. She had already phoned home the good news. The final sweep of the area was just to kill time and study the effects of her newest experimental gas.
“YeeHaw!” yelled, Jed coming out hot from an opening portal above.
The broomstick shot out of control with two aboard. The wand tumbled somewhere to the ground. Jed aimed his six shooter, scowling at his target.
“Draw!”
“Why you wouldn’t want to shoot a little oldy like me, now would yah.” she stammered, holding her hands to the sky.
“That’s what I thought,” said Jed, reaching for a lasso.
“Thunk, thunk, thunk!”
She had many hidden decks of playing cards up her sleeves. She started dealing them through the air like a Tommy gun.
“Ooof!” said Jed, being witch slapped on the face with a full house.
A joker was the final insult that toppled him back overboard. He only fell a second before a hand grabbed him. Mule had landed in ape form and the broom bent 90 degrees in a break. The ape barely held onto the jungle juice In one hand and Jed in the other as he walked the thin line of the broomstick.
“Hey I’m supposed to be the one with the flying monkeys,” she gasped in surprise.
“Bang,Bang,Bang.”
Jed had aimed an underhanded series of shots sending a hail of bullets soaring like the eagle did again. A quick fan of the hammer launched Isabella to her end. The stolen broomstick flew between two full moons on the run before it returned to the slain master. Isabella's bones creaked on their last legs. Her fingers moved while the rest of her lay dead in the ditch. The broomstick impaled through a nearby cactus. She leaked fluid through the bullet hole through a King of hearts card stuck to her skin.
In death her wand pulled the strings now lifting off her witches hat. Inside the dark void a little stuffed rabbit appeared white as snow. The stuffed animal's eyes flashed red, while its body began to absorb the similarly colored ditch water growing rapidly in size. Its big hind legs took up the valley rapidly filling, as the stitches burst apart leaking magic stuffing. The big rabbit was ginormous, sewn with rapid evil, and ready for action.
“We’ve got company,” said Jed.
“Yeah, the Killin company never knows when to quit,” said Mule
“Hehehehe,” cackled an eerie ethereal voice from beyond the grave.
The ground shook as the giant stuffed rabbit swiped at the targets. It narrowly missed Mule in giant eagle form and Jed hanging on for dear life. They quickly flew out of range of the dark magic rabbit. It looked disappointed to be considered an optional fight they had avoided to save time. It returned to its default state and waited idly to pounce by some chance were fool enough to descend again.
“This thing doesn’t matter, I see her dead as door-nail down there,” said Mule, screaming a celebratory eagle song.
“Yeah I see,” said Jed, covering his ears from the loud shrieking while his eyes dimmed from overexposure to toxins.
“Let's get out of here, and get you recuperated, and the money for getting this cargo delivered, I definitely can't fly us all the way there we are going to need another smaller vehicle for the final trek,” said Mule, slowly climbing through the skies empty of clouds, and toxicity.
Jed drooled in response out cold, but still onto one gun half loaded in an iron grip.
