A single long main-street ran along the small town. A dirty set of alleys filled with decorations, ribbons, stanchions and stacked hay bales edged by sidewalks filled with attendees trampling over trash while consuming artery clogging food before the packaging was littered with the rest.
The flea market was packed into the parking lot filled with fake vampires hawking imitation garlic gags and other wares from their trunks. A makeshift casino sold raffles outside under a sign lit up with advertising for bingo and slots within the big gamblers tent. There was a shaman sprinkling a can of “triple action stop evil salts” on a mark. In the next booth a young psychic with a massive bust waved her goods in front of the face of an old man in a trance.
“Don’t tell me I’ll tell you your ex was evil and crazy,” she said in a sultry tone.
“Keep working those charms honey your right on the money,” the dirty old man responded grinning from ear to ear.
A drizzle of rain was slowly ramping down production exposing the suns again. The hissing static of an orchestra played a sad score from a vintage record player. While overhead hundreds of small pulsing orange bulbs running along every pole, ledges and hedges.
In the farthest rented corner section of the fall festival a cedar wood booth lined with jack o'lanterns of various designs. A sign above them declared the produce was “Farm Fresh”. Behind the register Jed, and Mule ate dough boys out of trays while Bessie chomped on fried chicken. The number of customers visiting in the first hour or so had been low. It was mostly a curious trickle of city folk gawking at raw vegetables for the very first time. So far they had only sold six pumpkins out of six hundred, a bushel of apples, but the night had just started.
“We really should have brought some cooked pies with us,” sighed Jed, rubbing his stomach that was threatening to burst at the seams full of fried food.
“We should have brewed some hard cider,” mused Mule with a smile.
“He has a point. Burp. Uh excuse me I really need a refreshment before the ellipse,” said Jed.
“It’s already started guys get your glasses ready,” said Bessie, staring into the sun in her fathers welding helmet.
The wind blew in a sudden drop in temperature as the light began to dim. Nearby ducks quacked up a frenzy as dogs went nuts. The three suns had turned to one super ball of fire on the horizon. Now the two moons slowly entered the picture to obscure them. A black speck had turned into a fifth coverage by the time Jed found a spare helmet in the chuckwagon.
“Mule, don’t you need glasses dear?” asked Bessie.
“No Ma’am I already make a habit of staring into the suns normally so this changes nothing,”
“Jeez huh no wonder you lost your x-ray vision,” said Jed.
"Of course you know us guys just love clowning around to pass the time, don't believe a word I say," explained Mule, popping a slim envelope out of a tiny portal. “GET YOUR ECLIPSE GLASSES $12.99. DON”T MISS OUT ON THIS ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY to see the ultra rare radiant diamond!” announced Mule, spinning a magic wand that fizzled with deals.
“There’s twenty minutes until the peak, how about getting a big thing of lemonade or ice tea, then some fries, and vinegar for us while I man the stand,” she suggested to Jed.
He tossed away what remained of the grease soaked plate that had held the fried dough he had devoured.
“Hey Mule wanna go for a walk?” Called the departing Jed.
“Farc yeah man,” said the talking animal.
“Alright see you guys in a second,” said Bessie, crouching to uncover a fresh crate of spicy pickled eggs.
She opened a jar and ate three immediately. The pair pushed through the crowd led by their noses. A lizard creature had tried to disguise itself as a human. The cheaply constructed costume barely containing the cold blooded creature was lacking in production value. It hissed at Mule getting too close for comfort and he dropped the brochures listing
Nearby the farm animals an apple bobbing competition was in progress. It was unclear if a kid had bitten into a rotten one, or if it was the smell of the cows causing him to violently gag for air. A desperate mother was fleeced by a donkey for last minute glasses for three toddlers.
“Come inside my tent I give you free candy,” a sly voice said, slivering out of a dark den, beckoning with a claw extended.
“We good thanks,” said Mule, counting his money.
“GET YOUR GLASSES $9.99!” A nearby hustler called.
“$7.99 CERTIFIED SAFE FOR ALL AGES GLASSES!” announced Mule.
“HEY!” yelled the previous custom pissed.
“No refunds, sorry mama, all sales are final,” said Mule.
“Damn my steed’s carny or am I the poney?” contemplated Jed, fidgeting with his cowboy hat by habit until he noticed something odd.
“We are equal business partners, but I just have way more hustle going on you lazy,” said Mule, as he cut through a line to undercut a sale. “Ma’am don’t buy from him mine are better and cheaper,” he whispered, with a beggar's best eyes.
“Hey uh what’s that line over there for?” asked Jed, shifting focus pointing to the end of the street filled with bright yellow streetlights.
“Oh that’s a haunted house,” said Mule, tucking his money somewhere very safe.
“Fuck I just remembered our deadline to deliver the jungle juice is tomorrow,” sighed Jed, resting on a rusted cage. “That’s the real money to stay focused on not worrying about chump change.”
“Yeah, I remember the wedding takes place the day after the holidays. It always creeps up on me as the years blur one after another,” said Mule.
“Well it’s a good thing the celebrations last 13 days.. that's a long enough time still and what a way to start it,” said Jed, staring into the sun again.
“A speck in the grand scheme of everything, the holidays are gone until this time next year. Hoo ho I always thought they should have spread them out more,” mused Mule.
“Eh I like having them all at once like a fireworks encore,” said Jed, looking to the sky for the answers to life. “This is really cool.”
“That it is a supernatural force of great changes I’ve seen several hundred myself,” said Mule.
“Whoa brrr it's cold,” said Jed, shivering.
The two friends had joined the line that slowly trickled into the “small town cemetery”. The sidewalk spilled sports drinks that had frozen into rinks. A ghoul dressed in a molded bed sheet covered like blue cheese in spots underneath an employee badge stood guard with a hole punch. A gloved hand lowered for payment before a moon shaped punched into two ticket slips. They walked beyond the iron gate entrance into a small line of waiting creatures.
“Well there’s still time for this delivery mission that has taken a recovery pit stop,” sighed Jed.
“Aye an amusing detour, but time is ticking, and I think you’ve lost the plot friend.”
“Attending this failure of a fair just happens to be our last obligation to Bessie, we still got plenty of time buddy,” said Jed.
“You simping bud,” scolded Mule. “Well we are going to have to race to the finish line and ignore outside distractions no matter how pretty.”
They reached rusty steps heading to a constructed platform draped with curtains. The grass and vines overgrown boxcar like sections joined together at bolted seams conjured together with spooky exterior paintings that shook.
“If we take this quick ride it drops us off at a killer overlook,” explained Mule, studying the large four sided map block.
“Sweet I trust you picked something good, I’m just along for the ride,” said Jed.
The double doors on one end of the dwelling blew open carrying a rusted car screeching on its tracks until it slammed to a stop. The stocky bodies of a man and women were grouped in pairs of two in front of them climbing in. The attendant dressed in a skeleton mask lowered the safety bar a foot, and sent them flying into the other end. A track ran along it to doors on either end. Screams reverberated while gears loudly clicked, and things loudly banged deep inside. As the other doors opened the loud sounds of the haunted house intensified. A fresh car graffiti paint still dripping wet balls burst to their feet.
“We got plenty of time for one last amusement ride, then a snack, and when the eclipse is done we will help pack up the stand before heading for the hills and beating traffic out of here,” said Jed, stuffing ribs into his mouth.
“You eat anymore and my ass won’t be able to haul you with the cargo,” laughed Mule.
They climbed into the vehicle with a ticket exchanged. The ghoulish design dropped a lever with a screwdriver shoved into the socket with duct tape. The ride shot forward as the beat in the filthy speakers dropped. The crude track shook as the ride lurched round a corner full of smoke knocking part of an ass into Jed’s face.
“OOOWOOOGAAAA!”
A foghorn obliterated the air ringing ears. Jed covered his ear before moving one hand to clamp shut his nose and blowing to reduce pressure. The lights flickered on as the car slammed to a halt. A mummy wrapped in dusty robes lurched forward toward the vehicle causing Jed to wince as he wiggled for his holster by instinct and was reminded that he had checked his guns in on the outskirts of town before entering. The bandages threatened to unravel as it reached forward threateningly. Jed winced as it silently grabbed above their heads. He turned and found out that Mule appeared to have disappeared into thin air.
The lights gradually dimmed again while the animatronic mummy was pulled back into the wall from which it had come. The tracks led down the corridor lined with darkened outlines as the shadow of the next cart ahead rounded the bend. A scream pierced the air far ahead where it had gone. The smoke machines continued sputtering.
As the sound of his tinnitus gradually lowered the screaming cut the air behind as the mummy’s foghorn blew. A new sound entered the premises. It was the loud chomping of many mouths ripping and tearing into food.
“Mule where are you at?” stammered Jed looking all around.
“Hey careful not to crush me,” a shrill voice called.
An armadillo crawled onto the seat from the floor.
“Oh hey there Mule, you really think i’m capable of crushing your new armor?” laughed Jed.
“I don’t know man you’ve gotten kinda fat with three square meals a day on the farm and the break in adventuring,” teased Mule.
“BOOOO!” cackled a ghost falling from the ceiling before bouncing on wires.
“Oh common… Hey why did you switch from your natural donkey form to an armadillo friend.. Are you scared?” said Jed.
“This critter here doesn't have good hearing, and I don’t feel like dealing with this sensory overload,” said Mule.
“Well man you got the right idea because I hate the sound of eating, and that’s all the sound effects they are playing, but still Buk buk buk buk ba-gawk you shoulda transformed into a chicken instead hahaha,” laughed Jed.
The vehicle spit sparks from the side of the track as the corner was slowly rounded. Something underneath shook the ride as something threatened to derail them. Jed looked over the side and saw a severed arm waving a greeting at him. A body was stuck underneath and it must be being mushed into paste. The cart ahead had tipped over and a crowd of shadowy figures had surrounded it.
“Uhhhhhhhhggg,” called a zombie stumbling towards them.
It tripped on the tracks and fell on its face. The moving vehicle crunched over rotten meat, and came to a halt due to too much blockage underneath. Ahead the zombies ripped and tore into the fresh flesh of the couple who had been in line in front of them.
“I think it’s time to stop clowning around, this action is for real, and i’m stuck under this deathtrap,” said Jed, fighting with the safety bar pinning him down.
The armadillo started to squeal, thrash and smoke as Mule started taking on another shape. The pack of zombies turned their heads and focused on the freshest pair of lunch that had been delivered. Jed continued to struggle as the dead waltzed forward drooling. Mules shell cracked in half then fizzled and out popped a field mouse.
“Common Mule you got to help me,” yelled Jed.
“Braaaaaaaaaaaaains” replied the approaching horde.
The sound of an ancient undead cackling reverberated before breaking into a coughing fit. The air temperature rapidly dropped causing Jed breathing to frost the air as a smoke machine began burning up. The place stunk of burnt plastic throughout the props of a house that had suddenly become haunted for real.
