Small tremors shuddered their way through Hyeong-Jun’s body as the adrenaline fled.  He clenched his hands and glanced at Eun-Ji again. She blinked out at the quiet night.

He couldn’t lose it now, not when she needed him.

“Do you know where your house is?” the words barely managed to squeeze out of his throat but from the wide-eyed blank look on Eun-Ji’s face, Hyeong-Jun doubted she’d heard him.

The darkness still encroached on their space, hiding their surroundings.

Hyeong-Jun couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched.

He needed to get her to safety – but the nearest police station was half an hour’s walk away. He paused, trying to reach for logic.

Mrs Oh.

“I know someone who can help. Do you want to come with me?” The nod was barely there but the grip on his hand tighten.                                                                                                                                                      

“Let’s go.”

Eun-Ji buried herself deeper into his side as they walked.

Hyeog-Jun was grateful he didn’t need to carry Eun-Ji. He doubted the jelly-like consistency of his legs would allow him to carry any weight besides his own.

The scuff of trainers against gravel scraped at Hyeong-Jun’s nerves. He wished there were other sounds, something to indicate they weren’t the only living things in the streets right now.

Small noises seeped into the air and once they were there, Hyeong-Jun regretted his wish.

A trashcan lid clattered to the ground.

Hyeong-Jun jumped and Eun-Ji jolted in surprise.

A cat yowled somewhere to their left, the likely offender.

Hyeong-Jun wasn’t sure how much more his nerves could take.

Eun-Ji’s hand trembled in his own.

He needed to distract her.

“Did you know there was a ghost that-” the words came so automatically that it took a moment to realize his mistake.

Hyeong-Jun clamped his mouth shut.

The words hung in the air, judging him. Maybe his mum’s strategy for calming him down was not the best solution right now.

Even worse, for once Hyeong-Jun couldn’t find comfort in the method either.

Right.

His dad, what would his dad…

“The rabbits at the break of day,¹” Hyeong-Jun sang, voice disrupting the quiet. Eun-Ji startled.

Great.

“-rub their eyes when they’re awake,” Hyeong-Jun trailed on, already regretting his life choices. He glanced down at her and she stared back cautiously. But did he imagine it or was there a small glint of curiosity as well?

“..The rabbits at the break of day, rub their eyes when they’re awake,” he restarted, much quieter this time.

Eun-Ji still watched him.

“Come to spring, they wash their face, then they drink, and go away.” His cheeks blazed, but the embarrassment was a small price to pay to fill the silence.

If there was still a prickle of imagined eyes on the back of his neck, the blush made quick work of burning it away.

“Clear and clean, little spring -”

“- who comes to drink, little spring,” a small voice joined in on the next line.

Hyeong-Jun looked down in surprise for a moment before hastily continuing the song, afraid she might loose steam otherwise.

“In the moonlit night roe deer, hide and seek’s the game they play,” the night felt suddenly warmer, the streetlights up ahead guiding the way.

“They become thirsty, rush to here;

After a drink, they go away.” They harmonized the final part. When the silence settled back in, it was more a blanket than a blade.

“Your singing is nice,” Hyeong-Jun blinked at the unexpected praise. His cheeks, which had just started to cool down, reheated again.

“Thank you.”

“Eomma sings it for me too.”

Hyeong-Jun smiled. “What else does she sing to you?”

“Half-moon.²”

“Oh? How does that go again?”Hyeong-Jun pretended to think.

“In a small, white boat -” Eun-Ji started, voice warm with exasperation. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small smile brighten her face.

“In the blue sky,” Hyeong-Jun joined in.

It had always been a favourite of his as well.

And so they sang as they made their way to a solid red bricked building. A hand-painted lone-standing wall at the entrance of the building proclaimed, Sunshine Children’s Shelter. Surrounding the name were dozens of colourful small hand-prints that declared their stamp of approval.

The sign always brought a smile to Hyeong-Jun’s face, even now.

He could only hope Mrs Oh would be able to help.

Hyeong-Jun guided Eun-Ji up the steps to the entrance and knocked, the noise sharp in the quiet night.

The door opened. “Hello? How can I help you?”

Mrs Oh looked like she always did.

Yellow light from inside touched graying hair that tucked into a loose bun. A shawl wrapped around her shoulders to guard against the cold, and dark brown eyes shone with cautious concern as she peered at them.

Hyeong-Jun belatedly realized that he was still wearing his mask. He momentarily lowered it to reveal his face.

Her eyes widened, weariness washed away by surprise and a tinge of fear. “Hyeong-Jun? What are you doing here?”

The look was too close to the look she’d given him that night.

It pulled at the thread that had been holding him together.

No. He couldn’t do this, not now.

“I need help.” Hyeong-Jun hastily turned to Eun-Ji, glad for his mask. He bit his lip before kneeling so he was at eye-level with her.

“Eun-Ji, this is Mrs Oh, she’ll take good care of you and help you find your family, okay?”

Large doubtful eyes peered up at him. Her small hand tightened its grip.

His free hand was shaking again. Hyeong-Jun gripped the material of his jean in an attempt to ground himself.

Eventually, he reached out to pat her hand.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay.”

Seconds dragged on as Eun-Ji studied him, before she slowly let go and sidled towards Mrs Oh.

“Hyeong-Jun, what is going on?”

Mrs Oh’s eyes were still on him but he refused to meet her gaze.

He was slipping.

“I-I was in the area and then I found her, and she was lost, and I need to go back to get my equipment, and I have my audition with WSM Entertainment and I need to go,” the words tumbled out.  

He knew he wasn’t making sense. But none of this did.

Panic just like that night was eclipsing logic and awareness. He needed to leave.

Whatever Mrs Oh saw in Hyeong-Jun’s eyes, she understood. She nodded. “Okay, I’ll take care of her.  Come see me tomorrow if you can.”

Hyeong-Jun gave a rushed nod as he jerked upright.

The stairs tilted under his feet.

“Oh and Hyeong-Jun,” for a moment Hyeong-Jun was pulled back to earth. He blinked back at her. “Stay safe.”

After everything, Hyeong-Jun wasn’t sure if he could.

***

Hair stuck to Hyeong-Jun’s neck, temples, forehead.

Soft music filtered from his phone, guiding every move.

Arms arched backward like wings.

Sweat rolled from Hyeong-Jun’s forehead to the corner of his lip, and he licked away the saltiness.

He ended the song; knelt down like a believer in front of a god.

His heel trembled slightly where it supported his weight.

Phantom movements from hours of dancing tremored through his muscles.

Unable to sleep after the cemetery, he’d danced. Danced until his mind was too exhausted to worry about what was real and what wasn’t.

The memories were already falling away like petals from a withered flower.

The sun was finally beginning to infuse the world with colour and Hyeong-Jun breathed silent relief as some of his fear sapped away.

He clicked on the coffee machine and watched it crackle awake, determined to warm away that last cold spot that still clung to his mind. A shower sounded like a good idea as well.

Still, even with a shower and the strongest cup of coffee that he could bare to drink, it only took a quick review of the previous night’s video footage to return some ice to his bones.

The footage was grainy with the lack of light, and if it weren’t for the faint glow provided by the graveyard lights, the little that occurred in front of the camera would have been impossible to make out.

But no, there it was.

The mysterious stranger was the last to leave the frame of the camera; dark clothing, mask, and cap almost making him part of the shadows. Just like Hyeong-Jun himself, the person seemed intent on protecting their identity.

There was no way to find him. But then maybe it was a Pandora’s box that was better left shut.

Still Hyeong-Jun’s finger hovered over the delete button.

He shook his head and pressed it. The world didn’t need to know, he didn’t need the reminder.

With a sigh, he set about filming, excusing the missing part as a technical glitch. By the time he was done, he’d almost convinced himself.

Finally, the clock ticked to a more acceptable time for Hyeong-Jun to leave his apartment. He reached for the fluffy jacket that he’d discarded on the couch the previous night. He paused, fingers lingering millimeters from the fluff. He didn’t need that jacket. It was too warm for it anyway.

In the end a different jacket accompanied him as he ventured out and caught the bus.

The road to the orphanage looked much less sinister in the daylight but the air was still cold－a shock that helped wake up his exhausted mind.

Strained leg muscles complained as he hurried towards the large brick building and knocked once more.

That’s what you get for staying up all night.

“Hyeong-Jun.” Heaviness layered Mrs Oh’s voice as she greeted him.

He could only force a smile in return, but the raised eyebrow from Mrs Oh told him it probably resembled a grimace instead.

“Anyonghaseyo,” his voice was feeble to his own ears.

“Care to explain why you showed up with a scared-out-of-her-mind child yesterday.”

Hyeong-Jun paused, not sure where to start－how much to say.

“Oh come on in, no use getting cold while you think,” the sternness melted into impatient concern as she ushered him inside. The short heels of her worn-out sandals clicked against the concrete floor as she led the way through the familiar off-white hallways and to her office.

Mrs Oh’s office still held some of the night’s coldness. The worn-in brown couch that Hyeong-Jun had once used as a bed, filled the space. Filing cabinets cluttered the walls, other bits and bobs tucked in available corners. A warm space nevertheless.

  “D-Did she say anything?” he couldn’t resist asking as soon as he’d closed the door behind him.

“No, poor thing’s been mostly quiet, but unfortunately it seems like she has no home to go back to, not as of right now. They found her house, but whatever happened there, I just hope she didn’t see it. It seems Eun-Ji was sent out in search of help…” Mrs Oh remained vague as she trailed off. Years of knowing her clued Hyeong-Jun in that it was a threat off tears that stopped her from continuing.

“I didn’t know…she was just wandering the streets when I found her.” It was partly true.

“I gave the police your contact details so they might follow up with you about it soon.”

Cold fear sparked up his spine as he blinked at Mrs Oh. The police? What exactly had happened at Eun-Ji’s house if the police were involved.

Chewed away lips and eyeless sockets flashed in his mind.

Hyeong-Jun’s eyes shuttered against the memory. What would he even tell them if they did call?

“You didn’t look like you just happened to find her,” Mrs Oh voiced the observation that Hyeong-Jun had hoped she wouldn’t.

Hyeong-Jun looked down. Threads at one end of the carpet had started coming loose.

He couldn’t think.

His eyes wandered from the thread only for his gaze to snag on something.

A painting. 

It rested in the corner, well out of the way of busy feet.

“Did they bring another one?” Hyeong-Jun seized the opportunity to change the topic.

Mrs Oh paused.

“Yes, they delivered it a few days ago, it’ll be going up for auction soon.”

The small part that was visible showed a street alley, lit with lanterns in beautiful tones of blue and yellow. The strokes of acrylic sat thick on the canvas, as if each one held its own part of the story that was being told.

“Don’t change the subject.”

Hyeong-Jun looked back at Mrs Oh. The distress in her eyes was undeniable.

Still. He couldn’t explain.

“What’s going to happen with Eun-Ji?”

Mrs Oh sighed.

“She has other family in the area, so don’t worry about her. What were you doing here last night?” Her lips tightened around the edges as she leveled him with a look.

Hyeong-Jun knew Mrs Oh couldn’t reveal information about her charges’ situations so it had been a stupid topic to try and pursue.

But relief relaxed his shoulders－at least Eun-Ji wasn’t alone in the world.

“I just went to visit my parents.” As if a switch had been hit, Mrs Oh’s eyes dimmed in concern. “The audition for WSM Entertainment is tomorrow－I just wanted to let them know.” Hyeong-Jun hurried to wave away her care but unfortunately it had no effect. “...just thought I could use the encouragement…” Hyeong-Jun trailed off.

The sadness in Mrs Oh’s eyes carried into her smile as she patted him on the shoulder. Her hand was warm as she looked up at him. “Well, good luck then dear, we’ll all be rooting for you. Hwaiting!”

---

Footnotes:

The two Korean lullabies referenced are:

1. Little Spiring
2. Half-Moon